Episode 188

188 – Dr. Craig Farney : Unlocking Wellness Through Mindset, Energy, and Self-Reflection

Published on: 4th April, 2023

Saying "I feel poor" in place of "I am poor" can be a first step out of money shame and financial stress. My guest Dr. Craig Farney grew up one of six kids born in seven years, in a household a little below the middle financially. On a group trip as a boy, he ran out of money before a final dinner out. He felt embarrassed, ashamed, and poor, and that moment shaped how he saw himself. Even after he took over a practice and had more than enough, he never felt secure. He held money tightly to brace for what he feared most. Craig is honest that the pattern still shows up. Going into this conversation, new challenges had him feeling anxious, frustrated, and overwhelmed. He has also lived with depression and with anxiety so severe it once left him bedridden with vertigo for a week. Mike shares that money struggles early in his own marriage shaped how he saw his worth too.

When a hard feeling hits, Craig asks himself three questions. What do I feel? He narrows it to fear, sadness, or anger. Where do I feel it, in my head, my chest, or my gut? Then comes the most important one. Why do I feel it? Most of the time, he says, the feeling traces back to an old belief that he isn't good enough. He also watches his words closely. "I am" statements become identity, so he says he feels tired rather than saying he is tired. He swaps should, need to, and have to for could and working on. When he catches himself rehearsing an imaginary argument, he stops it. After a blowup, he replays the moment and pulls it apart. Paying a bill late, he says, just means you paid a bill late.

Craig's biggest shift was learning to let a feeling move all the way through him. He says men live in their heads to avoid what they feel. The buried emotion builds until something small sets off a big explosion. Now he sits with what he feels and then chooses his response. That pause helps him be the husband and father he wants to be. He believes many of our deepest beliefs were imprinted early, some passed down through families, and they surface only under pressure. That's why he's learning to be grateful for hard seasons. Mike Forrester teaches that an inherited belief isn't a man's fault, and transforming it is his responsibility. Married more than 30 years with four grown kids, Craig is still doing that work. Dads who blow up over small things at home, or lie awake worried about money, will find practical tools here.

What You'll Learn In This Episode:

Use three questions, what do I feel, where do I feel it, and why, to get to the root of a hard emotion.
Swap "I am" for "I feel" so a bad day or a money crunch stops becoming your identity.
Replace should, need to, and have to with could and working on to drop guilt-based pressure.
Learn how to build a pause between a trigger and your response with your wife, your kids, or a coworker.
Recognize how stuffing emotions down leads to blowing up over small things.
See why money stress often comes from an old belief about your worth more than from your bank account.

The key moments in this episode are:

00:02:27 - living in fight or flight mode without realizing it

00:05:49 - why buried emotions keep driving how you feel and act

00:08:12 - how a childhood moment of feeling poor shaped his money mindset

00:13:05 - three questions to understand any hard emotion

00:15:30 - why so many hard feelings trace back to "I'm not good enough"

00:18:02 - why "I feel poor" and "I am poor" are very different statements

00:21:32 - how to stop living by should, need to, and have to

00:23:08 - how to build a pause between a trigger and your reaction

00:29:00 - why men avoid their feelings and live in their heads

00:30:27 - how to sit with a feeling and choose your response

00:33:13 - why your deepest beliefs only surface under pressure