Episode 117

117 - why you should be kind to yourself

Published on: 22nd April, 2022

For many of us, being cruel to ourselves comes easy. We say or think mean and hurtful things, stuff we wouldn't consider saying to someone else, yet it's okay when it's directed at ourselves. So I would encourage you to be kind to yourself, say and think the things you wish someone would say to you and speak the encouraging and positive things you want to be true about us. While it won't change completely overnight, give it a try, so how you feel and if things around you change.

Transcript

be kind to yourself

===

[:

So I was hurting myself in the process, but I was removing the opportunity for you to hurt me. Now you may look at that and go, Mike, that makes absolutely no sense. And you're right. It doesn't make any sense, except when you're hurt really bad. And you're missing the fact that you're, you're being cruel to yourself.

nto something that you would [:

You know, or you'll just never get anywhere. You know, those messages where you don't feel like you're supportive to yourself, you're not encouraging yourself. Almost as if something good happens, you're waiting for the other shoe to drop. And that was very much where I was, you know, you'll hear me talk about your and, and how I was, you know, uh, a hybrid between ER and the.

ot financial stress and, you [:

But the thing about being kind to yourself is. You first need to set that precedence. And oftentimes we look back, we're going to see that other people haven't been kind to us. So we don't see that our value or worth in that area exists. We don't think that we're worthy of being kind to, and so we're cruel to ourselves in that way.

ore it becomes ingrained and [:

And that's not something you want to do. If you want to, you know, put something in your head and really have it take, take root and grow. You want it to be something positive, you know, like, Hey, I am a fantastic. Whatever you're wanting to do, you know, being a dad, being a husband, being a man, um, I'm great at my job.

You know, those kinds of things are what you want to take root. Why am I so resilient? Why am I so persistent instead of why can't I get this right. Why do bad things keep happening to me? You know, when we focus on those things, we're going to see that come about because we're expecting it. And so we're, we're only.

ing to start more arguments. [:

And so, which would you rather have, would you rather have thoughts where you're putting yourself down you're being cruel and unkind, or would you rather have thoughts? Are supportive and encouraging and, and just positive in nature. You know, they bring you joy that are uplifting, that give you that courage and strength to continue pushing through everything that you know, you're facing both as a man, a husband, a father, uh, you know, working, you know, whether it's your business or your career.

ead of putting yourself down [:

Um, you know, lift yourself up and see things differently. Hey, that, you know, when, when something goes right and say, Hey, that was a great job. Oh my gosh. Look, that was fantastic. Give yourself encouraging things. The friend you would want or want to be, be that person, that friend to yourself. Right? If, if you wouldn't want.

t experienced most recently, [:

How would I want to encourage my, and you know, have you given yourself that same space? Are you saying those same things to yourself? Or are you putting yourself down and being hypertensive? So just watch your thoughts. If you start seeing that, Hey, I'm going along this line. Um, I'm saying this about myself.

I'm thinking this bust in there and go. No, that's, that's not true. You know, interrupt. Um, don't let those thoughts. Occur and go on, interrupt them, bring it about the truth, how you want to see things, the positive things that you want said, what would you want as an encouraging word to come from me or any of your other friends?

ing forward? You know, that, [:

And once you begin treating yourself with respect, you're going to see a whole slew of things change. You will change, and the way people treat you will change as well. Is it going to happen over. No, it's going to take some time because you really need to begin believing it. That was like one of my, my biggest challenges was honestly going, okay.

didn't get to where we're at [:

Don't be cruel as well, you know, in going, why can't you get this? Give yourself some grace, give yourself the space to continue learning and working for it. So I'm happy to. You know, have shared this with you. If you've got questions, feel free to drop me an email at mike@hicoachmike.com or reach out to me on Instagram in the DMs.

And I'm happy to talk more about this. And, uh, this is one of the pivotal things. When we begin changing how we see ourselves and talking about ourselves to ourselves, but everything changes from there. So have a great one, my friend, talk to you soon. Bye.

Next Episode All Episodes Previous Episode
Show artwork for Living Fearless Today

About the Podcast

Living Fearless Today
Helping men break generational cycles, heal the father wound, and become a better husband and dad.
You swore you'd be a different kind of father than the one who raised you. Then one day you caught his words and tone coming out of your mouth. You felt the same distance creep in at home, and wondered how much of him you're still carrying despite the promise you made to yourself.

Living Fearless Today is a podcast for men who are done repeating the patterns they grew up with. Host Mike Forrester has stood where you're standing. Every week he brings honest conversations and practical tools for the parts of a man's life that rarely get said out loud: the father wound you never named, the anger that shows up with the people you love most, the marriage that's gone quiet, and the man you still want to become.

The show helps you understand the past that shaped you. Then you take an honest look at where you stand today as a husband, a father, and a man. From there you start building the future you actually want, one choice at a time, instead of drifting into the one you were handed and currently living out.

Episodes cover identity, anger, shame, marriage and fatherhood, relationships, self-worth, courage, emotional intelligence, legacy and purpose, and the brotherhood that the vast majority of men are missing. If you've looked for how to break generational cycles, face a father wound, handle anger as a dad, or become a better husband and father, start here.

The cycle can end with you. Press play and take the first step toward becoming the man you needed when you were young.

About your host

Profile picture for Mike Forrester

Mike Forrester

Mike Forrester is a men's transformation coach, founder of the Living Fearless coaching programs, and host of the Living Fearless Today podcast. His insights, methods and stories of overcoming childhood trauma, dyslexia and loss of loved ones have been featured on various podcasts, including Hanging Onto Hope, Extreme Health, Own Your Life Own Your Career and Think Unbroken.