125 - Chis Comer : if I didn't do this, what would I do?

[: 00:00:00

And, uh, even. Came together actually, because of, uh, an author that I absolutely love. And so does Chris and looking forward to you hearing about that, but, uh, we ended up going to a conference down in orange beach. He and I, along with our wives had an amazing time. And so Chris is a great man and I'm really looking forward to our conversation and just talking about where.

He's been what he's doing and where he's going. So, um, yeah, Chris, how are you doing today? My friend,

I'm doing well. Thank you for having me.

Hey, my pleasure, man. I've been looking forward to this one for a while, so

as well,

glad to bring it together. Hey Chris, if we could, can we talk about, uh, where you are today, professionally?

what is, what is life on the [: 00:01:00

Well, obviously, uh, you know, we would all like business to be better in booming, but, uh, uh, we're doing well over here doing some marriage and financial coaching and, uh, about the launch, a massive project with, uh, Andy Andrews that we've been working on for about a year now called the life skills project and basically bringing a few of Andy's best-selling books to an online one-on-one course not one-on-one, but in a group session.

Um, to really dive deep into, to the books that he's been asked for years to do. And he just hasn't had time. So he's, he's picked a few of his friends, uh, and I just am astounded and honored to be one of those guys that he chose to do this project with.

Yeah. And I'm like, you and I have. I have loved his books.

ume just like books, like so [: 00:02:00

My friend,

I, uh, you know, I feel like my wife and I have reached a point where. We spend as much time together as possible, which may not be as healthy as some people would think it would be. But, uh, we live in a, in a tiny home and travel the country and, uh, we're more in love than we've ever been and, and just support each other and building each other up every day.

Yeah. I'm like, I think it's much like my, like Cathy and I are with, with you and your wife, where you're, you, you love each other. You want to spend time. I mean, it's like your best friend. Right. And, uh, you know, it's like just being in each other's presence is a great thing. And so it's done in a healthy way.

Absolutely.

[: 00:03:00

rebuilding. Yeah, we, I, uh, I, I had a moment of insanity when I was about 30 years old and started a business restoring classic cars.

And I've did that for, uh, almost 18 years. Kind of got to a point where I didn't feel like that was my calling anymore.

How did you get into that? I mean, that's, that's something that I'm like, I, I have no skills to bring to that table. I mean, how did you get there?

Well, uh, I guess when I was 13, my, I bought my first car and my dad and I rebuilt it kind of, you know, I'm not really from the ground.

Camaro and. You know, in the [: 00:04:00

So you were like the chick magnet, is that what I'm understanding?

Yeah, definitely was not, but I was trying to be,

oh man. And so did you continue to, to work on cars and that's how you got to. Your ability to do the restoration?

I did. I, you know, it was just a hobby that I tinkered with or the years. And, uh, you know, for a lot of years I was a paramedic and a deputy county coroner. And just, you know, it was kind of did that in the evenings or the sides and, um, got to a point where I didn't want to be in, in an emergency medicine anymore.

op space. And, um, you know, [: 00:05:00

So.

What's required for something like that, man. Cause for me, it's like, I just look at my car out in the driveway. I put wax on it. I'm cold and I'm good to go. Right. When you show, show ready, or what was, what's the term you use? Uh, I

mean, award-winning, you know, and, and not that we went to any major shows, like I didn't, I didn't win any, um, when you think of the high, high end ones now, but you know, we were, we were building nice cars.

Customers were happy. And so, you know, it was just one of those things that I enjoy doing it, but it got to be too much work and in more hours than a week than I wanted to put into it. So

yeah, I understand now you continued on doing great in the business, turning out quality work. Right. And then it's like, you got to a certain point.

You've got that, that sh. [: 00:06:00

so in January of: 2014

We finally got my wife through college and, and felt like that was going to be. You know, for lack of better words, the pay raise, um, cause we weren't paying for college and she was going to go to work and you know, things were going to get brilliant. And I had a gentleman walk in my door and tell me I had 30 days to get my stuff and get out because they had bought the property and we're going to tear it all down.

e wasn't a lot of space like [: 00:07:00

The government there or the, you know, the way they worked or whatever. And it just really turned into a nightmare quite frankly. Well,

and so you said you were in an 8,000 square foot area, right? As far as your shop, how much? I mean, give me an idea, like, what does that entail in 30 days that you've got to try and move.

so we had to move all those [: 00:08:00

n table that probably weighed: 1800

And, uh, you know, it was just, I mean, it was a lot in 30 days for three guys to do

so your life is turned upside down. Absolutely. What's going through your mind at that point. Cause I mean, we've established, you've got a month to get out of there and it's going to take you time to move it, break it down, reassemble everything.

So, you know, like you're way behind on work schedule. I mean, absolutely.

, uh, you know, we ended up, [: 00:09:00

You know, it really, it really was found myself at a crossroads of, I had two buildings. I was looking at one was a smaller building and a not so great neighborhood with zero exposure. Um, and the other building was right on a major thoroughfare with, you know, a little bit more square footage to what I had, um, you know, 40, 50,000 cars a day passing.

now, bring on more employees [: 00:10:00

For a number of reasons, probably the main one being dealing with that city that we moved to.

Hmm. So you, how many employees did you have at that time?

Um, before we moved, I had two, and after we moved, I had as many as five.

Wow. So this isn't just you and your family you're impacting. Right. So what happened as far as like work culture?

Things change

Um, for, to please the city [: 00:11:00

So we were six months closed down for six months, basically just trying to satisfy the city, you know, they'd come in. And every, every time I come in and they would find something new they wanted us to do. And instead of just giving me a punch list all at once and let me get that done, you know,

So you've got more expenses you're closed down.

So you're not bringing in money. I mean, like that's, that's gotta be stressful in the fact like your stressed out, but then how did it impact your marriage and like your, your relationship at home?

Fortunately, I have a very understanding wife, uh, that doesn't throw axes at me? Well, you know, if she's not happy with me, but I, it, it took a toll that we didn't realize at the time.

ple of years after the fact. [: 00:12:00

being shut down. She was taking care of, you know, keeping our, keeping us afloat. Uh, and so that, that presents a huge burden on, you know, someone that just started a new career. Basically.

Now, when you said it, it took like a couple of years to kind of. See how things impacted you? Like what do you mean?

Like, cause I guess most of us think like things will pop up if there's a problem going to see the problem now, but I mean, that's not always the case and

s not. Um, and, and probably [: 00:13:00

We were trying to support each other the best we could, but we had almost zero focus on us in our marriage. Um, and that, I mean, it really started surfacing. Those problems started surfacing years later.

So you got the 30 days notice, then it's taking like six months to like, get things up and running.

Right. Um, once it's up and running, what, what do things look like at that point? And I mean, how are you doing.

You know, I had just put our pice remembered too. I just put smoking before all this stuff started to, so

t's, let's just compound the [: 00:14:00

. We, we quit smoking June of: 2013

It felt like everything I did, if I turned right, I shouldn't turn left. If I went up, I should have went down. If, I mean, it was literally, I felt like I needed to make a decision and then do the opposite because you know, and I know, I know people, uh, I talked to people all the time now that. I feel that way in their life.

, you know, hindsight's: 2020

Whether that's a money decision, a life decision, a business, whatever the case is, it's the worst place to make a decision for them.

So if you're in that place and I mean, it is a desperate situation. How do you make a decision without it being from a place of desperation or can you?

in, you know, hindsight being: 2020

cision? What I decided to go [: 00:16:00

And I think it gives you a lot of insight on, uh, how to make a better decision.

Yeah. So is it kind of removing like the stress and, and frustration in

absolutely that way? Absolutely. Yes. And it takes some, uh, Mastery, it takes some, uh, practice to do this, you know, and I'm still working on it, man. I'm stabbed.

I'm not going to say I've mastered it whatsoever, but I think the, you know, the first step was identifying that that's where the bad decisions were coming from.

rself from the chaos and the [: 00:17:00

right?

Yes. And I'll never forget. I had a young lady working for me, uh, when, when we moved the first time and I bless her heart, she was doing everything in her power to help me in any way she could. And she was trying to pack up my office and I absolutely bit her head off, uh, you know, because I felt like I was the one that needed to pack up my office.

So I would know where things were and how to find things. But we were running out of time for me to do that. And so, you know, after I would really, I did apologize to her after the fact, but I would, at the moment I was so frustrated. I'm like, this is my entire life. That we're dismantling here and you're right.

ell. Don't, don't allow your [: 00:18:00

Yeah. It's kind of one dimensional. It's like looking at the scale and just go and I'm not in the, a weight range I want to be when it's like, you know, there's so many other factors to look at, right.

You know, where's, where's your body at health wise and what is your physique look like and everything else? So, I mean, it's, it's just that one dimensional, uh, kind of measurement of life. Right? So, so six months later you've got things up and running. How are things going from there? I mean,

It was cumbersome.

up at night a couple times. [: 00:19:00

And all those were, uh, found very valid and legitimate concerns. So our processes just did not work as well in that building. I mean, we were, we were struggling to get back into the flow for six months, you know, uh, of being basically forced to be shut down. Um, it didn't help that matter, but you know, just trying to get back into a good flow and get our processes back, we were trying to add new things.

It was too much at one time. Uh, essentially, and then

things are going along. You had another fun surprise. Yeah. Well,

had been paying before I had [: 00:20:00

I had more utility expense. I mean, everything was three to four times what I had been paying and, and the workflow had decreased so bad that it just, there just. I just couldn't do it. And so we, we ended up leaving that building, um, and finding another one that, you know, was closer to what I had before.

Unfortunately, that building had wasn't available when I needed it, uh, the first time around, but, you know, things work out the way they're supposed to for a reason. Um, and I, again, going through that move and having to tear all that stuff down and get moved in a short amount of time. And that was partly by choice.

t some points, you know, of. [: 00:21:00

But, um, You know, I still had that, that lingering question of, if I didn't do this, what would I do? And this time I had an answer and there was, it was as plain as day like God will sit next to me telling me, Chris, you need to be a coach. I have put you through the fire. He still put me through the fire for a reason you have learned, you have even.

nd this is where I want you. [: 00:22:00

I mean, there was no question. He was, he kept showing me and he led people to me and, and to test me, I think, and I was able to help them. And I said, okay, okay. So this is what we're doing. Well, I had obligations to the core business that I had to wrap up first. Right. And so while I'm doing that, I start researching what it takes to become a coach.

I know how important coaches [: 00:23:00

not long after, like we moved in in May. We were moved. May of 16 really kind of felt this pull into to me, you know, call into me late June, middle of June. My birthday was August in the middle of August. My mom, I, we were, we were visiting my parents for my birthday at the lake, and she's like, I got a video I need to show you.

researching who Andy was in, [: 00:24:00

I listened to his podcast every day. Um, I think there was at the time, 240 or 50 episodes that I chewed through it about a month and a half. So they weren't terribly short episodes either. So. And that kind of started clarifying a lot of things for me as far as, you know, my journey to become a coach. Um, yeah.

Um,

mers. Uh, then I was already [: 00:25:00

So I don't, I don't think, um, I never got on the podcast with that question, but they did offer me, uh, you know, a lot of good content and materials that, um, led me to, to learn about, you know, Things to do in business and in ways of conducting business and, you know, and, and really just opened my eyes to a whole nother way of doing life.

I had no idea how important [: 00:26:00

So, as you, you know, you're listening to the podcast, you're changing, um, Almost like your identity, what you've believed, everything else that goes along with that. Absolutely. How did it change how you felt about you and how did it then change like your marriage and parenting?

I mean, I'll definitely was taking a lot of what Andy was talking about and applying it to.

mentioned that I bought was [: 00:27:00

Thank you, Emerson Eggerichs. And, uh, that was eyeopening as far as, from a marriage perspective. It's a great book.

So impactful in that book for you that that impacted you and your wife.

I think for me, it was the realization of as a man, we, we, we have to have respect, uh, And I don't mean that. And I, uh, demanding, like you better give me respect, but, but like, I worked so well for either of us.

tunately, that they love us. [: 00:28:00

You know, I'm riding the bike with no hands and, uh, where women absolutely have to have that love and they have to have the love shown and they have to have it told, they have to be told that they're loved. They have to be shown that they're loved, uh, us man. We know, you know, we're like, okay, whatever you love.

I'm just thinking, like, if you and I went to either of our wives and demanded respect, it's like, oh dude, that's going to

be laughed out of the room

pretty much. I mean, the respect is there, but the demanding aspect, that's like both and very, they're both very strong willed. And self assured and I'm pretty sure we would both be kicked out of the

room.

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, no, I would, and I would never do that. Uh,

respect me. It's like, yeah, [: 00:29:00

well on. Right, right. I think it's just the realization and for, you know, a wife to just heroine.

Verbalizing that is to a man. I mean, I'm not, you know, if you have all the respect for your husband in the world, if you're not verbalizing that to him. He doesn't, he doesn't know it. He just doesn't, he just doesn't know it. And so, you know, and, and like I said, before, the five-year-old on the bicycle with no hands, we have to have recognition and, and a reassurance that.

I see you and, and you're doing a good job. Yeah. Right.

The pat on the back and, and boosting you up and encouraging you out the door, it's like, keeps you fighting. Um, so, so that helps you in your, in your marriage. There is he, Andy had talked about, um, you know, love and respect. Um, how did you see things?

[: 00:30:00

I think I started, um, I mean, I know I started, I started treating my employees very differently and really trying to be, uh, you know, and I could see

issues in their lives that I felt docket could help them with. Or maybe just. Be a support to their life, you know, in a positive influence in their lives. And, uh, instead of just trying to, you know, demand that look, we got to get this work done and it's gotta be quality. It's gotta be top notch. You know what I mean?

surprise. They'll open up to [: 00:31:00

Yeah. And I was going to say math got a teacher's heart. So I mean, it comes through where it's like help you. I want to encourage you and empower you. And so, yeah, I can totally see that. Um, so you started listening to Andy implementing these changes. Like where did things go from there? Cause you talked about, you know, that you're doing the financial and the marriage coaching.

Um,

o him talk all day. And, uh, [: 00:32:00

can you clarify.

Zig Ziglar. Yes. You know, he was probably one of the best motivational speakers ever, honestly. And, uh, if you haven't heard of him, you need to look him up on YouTube or TikTok or whatever it is you use. Cause he's out there. All of this stuff is out there and it's gold still today. It's relevant and it's gold.

Um, and so, uh, kind of researched what was going on. With, you know, the Ziglar, I didn't know what it was at the time, but it turns out the Ziglar corporation and found out they have a, a program for, uh, being trained to teach a lot of the stuff Zig taught and kind of get their stamp of approval and, uh, you know, be a certified coach through them and trainers through them.

ber now, I think February of [: 00:33:00

But nonetheless, it took its toll on us financially. And so David's program. I really just dove into that and figured out I was really good at finding solutions to money issues. Uh, and so. You know, once I went through his course and kind of started up down that path, my own path, that's when I took the master coaching class.

on with them. And we found a [: 00:34:00

I'm talking about a, uh, an immediate type. Crisis issue. But you know, obviously if there's a more systemic issue, it takes longer than five minutes to fix and find a solution to. But, uh, you know, for, I don't know, anyway, it's just, it's a very humbling experience to be able to help somebody in a.

Well, like I can say from, from experience that it's like, when you have a financial problem, you're also having a marital problem because it just runs so deep.

this bill. Okay. That makes [: 00:35:00

And, you know, I mean, it just became like a snowball and on top of that, you know, um, I'm feeling insecure and frustrated. And so I'm yelling at her and. You know, she doesn't like the fact I'm biting her head off. So it's like, yeah, it was, it was a fantastic date. I mean, you can just imagine, you know,

so that's what I've found, you know, I mean, it really, uh, I just, I just opened my heart to God and let him lead me.

And you know, it turned out. Led me to want or to, to coach couples on their marriage and their finances, you know, and I've had a few coaches experience coaches, uh, but tell me, I need to, I need to do one or the other. I don't need to do both. And I'm like, I see. Such correlation between the health of the marriage and my health and the finances.

And they [: 00:36:00

He's not going to be productive at work. He's not going to be a hundred percent. And so it, it just really plays into our marriage, plays into every aspect of our lives. And if we can, if we can get that base, that foundation working properly. Everything else will start falling into place.

Well, then I can't imagine I'm the only one that ever did this, where I would go and buy something.

Okay, I'm going to go spend [: 00:37:00

And it's not a productive. Game to play.

It's not, it's not at all. Oh my gosh, man. But yeah, I mean, that was just where we were at and I know other couples, you know, that's, it's one of those, if you're, you're trying to medicate in the process to make yourself feel better, but then, then your spouse is also sitting there going well, if you get to enjoy this.

I want to do this for me. And, um, man, I can look back at it and see. Almost how much I was causing through trying to train to, to Medicaid for myself. And at times it did become just a straight out attack where it was, you know, I'm going to go spend this because I know that it won't make you have. And right now I'm not happy.

So I don't want [: 00:38:00

Um, then you and I continue to move forward. You know, like I said, took our wives, we went down to orange beach, Alabama, got to hear Andy talk, and now you're at a point, um, where life is very different for you. And now you're getting ready to, to, to lead this, this program that Andy has got. And like, what is, what does that look like?

ip with Andy is as a friend, [: 00:39:00

Things that happen, opportunities that put us in the same place, the same time. And we just found out we, we understood each other very well. And, uh, and you know, it's it, um, I don't know, you know, you just, you meet somebody and you kind of know those are my people. And I don't know if he felt that way, but I surely did.

robably, but I would love to [: 00:40:00

ally happened in September of: 2020

If you. No power and no water, whatever, and took off down there. And so spent some time with them helping have a meal. I'm helping some other people in the orange beach area, uh, after hurricane Sally and that evening, the first day of being, I was there, we were having dinner and he's like, you know, the coaching thing, I've got something for you.

ll gonna do something. I was [: 00:41:00

Joe's I'll tell ya, make you Dell this a little bit, but uh,

got one in my backyard. So,

um, but anyway, A few months later, that was in September. And in April of last year, he called me. He's like, Hey, you know what of all my books, what is your favorite? And I said, oh, hands down. I noticed the returns. And so he told me what the plan was.

look. And so I did that and, [: 00:42:00

We we're calling it the life skills project. And, uh, man, I'm just excited to be here and honored, honored by Andy. He is just really built me up and been a great mentor and a friend. And, uh, just, I don't even know how I got here, but here I am and, and blessed to be here.

Yeah, and I, I fully understand, like mine is bottom of the pool.

I don't know if you can see the picture. Yeah. You can't see the picture, but that is the picture from the Olympics of the long jumper that he talks about in bottom, you know, having wings on his mind. Right. Um, so yeah, for me, it's like, I totally get what you're talking about, like with this book. So in the course that you're teaching coming up, like, what did, what do you get out of it?

your life changing. In that [: 00:43:00

Yes. Uh, and this is actually from the noticer, but in the first chapter, the noticer it talks about when Andy was homeless and living under the pier at the Gulf state park at the Gulf state pier.

And when he first encounters Jones and Jones brings lunch one day and it's Vienna sausages and, uh, Sardines, maybe had some crackers, I think. And so they're eating lunch and this is just an example, but Jones, you know, he asked Andy, do me a favor and tell me what you're eating and where you're eating.

beach, eating surfing turf. [: 00:44:00

You know? And so in this book, we talk a lot about changing how you think, uh, which will change what you think and what you think will change, how you act and then how you act will. I mean, it just is through this whole progression of really changing a person's life. Uh there's you know, a handful of characters in here that, that Jones walks with through the entire book.

r on her end and talks about [: 00:45:00

If she would only open her eyes, that her mother is still teaching her even in her days of Alzheimer's, you know, he's he works with, or he, he visits with a gentleman that's losing his wife. She's about to pass away. And he talks to him about how. Death is not this thing to be so afraid of, you know, that, that we're only in this world temporarily and pardon.

uh, that he felt I'd done, I [: 00:46:00

I'm willing to tell you, but, you know, I mean, there were, there were passages in this book that. He probably was just trying to get from point a to point B and he threw something out that it was just life changing. I mean, it literally, if you just take it and apply it, it could be life-changing for somebody.

Yeah, but you and I both know he's that kind of writer too. I mean, he just,

there's a reason. He is the one, like one of my favorite writers, my favorite author, because it's like one, you know, the, the fact that I have dyslexia, it makes reading. No more of a challenge. And Andy writes in a story style. It's almost like a fable, but it's long fable, but it's also engaging, you know, like a fable.

ee it as like childish. This [: 00:47:00

That's a theory. That's a nice thought. It's like, no, dude, you can apply this to your life and you're proof that you, you can and have, you know, um, from, from what you've brought out in it. So, um, when is the class and, and how do people get, you know, get enrolled

in it? Yeah. Uh, so my class is the first one to start it's it starts May 17th.

yAndrews.com/skills, it will [: 00:48:00

Um, and we're, you know, we've got a few seats left in all of them and we'd just love for, to have them completely full and, uh, start a waiting list for the next one. That

sounds great. Yeah. Chris, my friend, how can people reach out and connect with you outside of the

podcast? Uh, we have not got my website up and running yet, but, uh, outside of, of, through Andy Andrews, you can find me on Facebook.

I have a fairly public presence there on my profile. Uh, also chris@marriageprosperity.com is my email. Feel free to email me. Uh, and it's a long email and I apologize, but it's easy to work out. I think. Yeah,

Chris, thank you for joining [: 00:49:00

You can get clarity on your finances and, you know, getting clarity on your marriage and your finances changes everything because they're so tied in together. So my friend, I appreciate you coming and joining me. Looking forward to the training with 'The Noticer Returns' and, uh, yeah. Thanks. Thanks so much for being here today, Chris.