126 - how to stop self sabotage and what is it?

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You know, maybe it's a set of golf clubs or, um, something to go camping, something for your car. Uh, whatever the case may be. You know, you have that money, you had set aside and then all of a sudden, you just indulge go and spend that money. And. You know, it's, it's gone, right. Um, it could be going to the gym and, you know, you're making progress.

king plenty of water. You're [: 00:01:00

to get the recognition, the [: 00:02:00

And the tasks that you're supposed to be doing is the last thing you want to be doing. And so you're finding all these other things to take your attention and your focus from and be distracted. And that kind of thing is, you know, referred to often as self-sabotage we have an opportunity, but we're taking actions that aren't aligned, that aren't setting us up for success in accomplishing what we're after and actually takes us in a direction that's going to put us on self-destruct pattern.

So, um, self-sabotage is something that's. You know, subconscious, you're not doing it intentionally, you know, you're not going, Hey, I'm going to go ahead and eat this down of ice cream because I know that it's gonna, you know, put on five pounds and, you know, totally take me off my health track. It's not something that you're doing like that.

It is an [: 00:03:00

That's. You know, outside of your scope, your realm of where you're comfortable. And so while you want it, you don't feel that you're worthy of it or being in that position would put you on a, on a track where people would find out, Hey, you're, you're not who they thought you were that you know, who you've been told that you were by those negative people.

ht? If, if you're working to [: 00:04:00

It's a, it's a subconscious or unconscious reaction to, you know, being in a place where other people could be looking at you and. Thinking negatively. So you're reacting to expectations of other people, um, and it can be related to a new activity, a role or responsibility, something that's outside of your comfort zone, that's new and unfamiliar for you.

e were in, in high school or [: 00:05:00

Wouldn't work on it, you know, I'll get to it. You're just postponing something procrastinating on it. Um, or, you know, you're finding ways to medicate and distract yourself. So whether it's, you know, going out and doing yard work, when you should be doing, you know, something in the house that you have a goal for, or a, I want to go to the gym, but I have all these other things I need to do.

Um, Whatever the case may be. You know, you've got all these things. You need to go grocery shopping so that you can eat right this week, but you've got, you know, all these other errands that you need to run. And for whatever reason, they're more important. When they're really not right. If you want to hit that goal, you're going to keep pushing towards that goal.

that kind of stuff, that's a [: 00:06:00

What's the concern. That gives you an opportunity to then, you know, look at it and go, okay. I'm afraid that, um, being in this new role, my boss is going to put additional pressure on me or that I won't be fully capable of what they're going to be asking me to do. Right. It's that kind of stuff. And just being able to look at it, you can.

know, is this something that [: 00:07:00

And so realizing that, um, You know, it's going on, you know, being self-aware like we talked about then being introspective, looking at what's at what's the fear at the core that's driving everything that you're doing to self-sabotage then looking at it to say, okay, how likely is it that that fear of mine is going to come about?

And if it did come about how detrimental is it? What's the fallout going to be an often again, we're blowing it up, making it much bigger, much worse than what it, what it's actually going to be. Um, you know, we could look at. Oh, my gosh, I'm going to break my foot when actually you're just going to stub your toe.

It's. I mean, it's that kind [: 00:08:00

w, like a parallel position, [: 00:09:00

Or, you know, go to your boss and say, Hey, you know, what kind of stuff are you specifically going to be looking for? Where do you see things that I need to learn? And oftentimes we'll, we'll find out that what we're afraid of. It's something that, you know, we're not really even being expected of that. Right.

It's something we've placed on ourselves. It's a weight or an unrealistic expectation that we've taken on that nobody else is even really considering. So, um, if you find yourself in that kind of position, Where, you know, Hey, yeah, I'm, I'm self sabotaging. I'm I'm doing all these things. Um, how do I course correct?

ing to, self-sabotage one is [: 00:10:00

Okay. Here's the things I need to do, Steve, will you hold me accountable? Will you check in on me periodically to make sure that I'm doing this stuff? And you know, if Steve has an understanding of that role and the responsibilities, Hey, ask me questions. You know, to see if I'm prepared and this isn't just head knowledge that I'm actually fully grasping the concept and, and how things would play out.

financially self-sabotaging [: 00:11:00

Okay. What are micro steps? Okay. Well, this next paycheck, I'm going to go ahead and set aside, um, $10, $5, whatever it is, something that you know, that you can absolutely do without a shadow of a doubt, because you want to rebuild that trust and that confidence that's been called into question by that. Lack of security, right?

taking, taking steps, taking [: 00:12:00

Rather than $10 now I'm going to go to 20. And so you're almost creating like a ladder of success, like a stairway of success by doing these small actions, it creates that confidence. It restores it. And so make them achievable, set them small and then continue to repeat and increase them, um, see yourself completing this stuff.

Right. We've we've often heard about Olympians that, you know, when they're doing, um, let's say like a long jump, right? They're running up. They hit that line. That jump as far as they can, they're visualizing them going through the steps. Even before they, they start running even before they're in the, the starting block, you know, taking, taking that starting position.

, the, the course there, the [: 00:13:00

Yeah, I I've gotten to this new role. My team is happy. My supervisor is happy. I'm understanding, you know, what's required of me the things that are going on. Like you're looking at it from all the different, uh, facets of that, that position. You know, if it's your finances or going back to the health aspect, you know, going to the gym, see yourself getting up in the morning, right?

ssed, putting your shoes on, [: 00:14:00

And then, um, you know, again, you're carrying, carrying out those things, you're gaining that confidence. So to have them pair up really well, the last thing is being grateful, you know, having gratitude. So. Telling yourself, Hey, I am grateful that I get up and I go to the gym on a consistent basis. When I say I'm going to go, I go, and I'm grateful for the opportunity to be able to do the things that I want.

So, you know, putting it in a place that your in control, your wanting what's coming. And that you're grateful for that because how often do we get. You know, do things or those kinds of things are set upon us. And it's not something we want to do. This is something that we're setting about and we get to choose we're in control.

So being [: 00:15:00

Isolated I'm alone will get out and walk, change your environment for a little bit, take some activity, get the chemicals going in your brain and, and the blood flowing through your body and see how that impacts you. So there's lots of things we can do. So one become more aware of self-sabotage, but also to stop it to, to, to handle it right.

'm going to course, correct. [: 00:16:00

Have a great day. Bye.