Mastering the Art of Listening: Building Stronger Personal and Professional Relationships with Bruce Cardenas

LFTP_S2_E230_BruceCardenas_Descript.txt

Well, hello and welcome back, my friend. Man, this week . Joined by, uh, Bruce Cardenas. Uh, Bruce man has just had this amazing journey coming out from like going into the Marines and then joining the police force and just the path he's been on, it's been building relationships and having that as like, not something, you know, that, is just passively done, but he's done it like intentionally, and he's done it from the heart. It's not been like so many people you'll see as a manipulative thing, right? This is genuinely who Bruce is. And so out of that relationships have been something he's invested in, and we're going to see how that's paid dividends. So, Bruce, how are you doing today, my friend?

I'm doing amazing. I'm excited to be on here. I know we've trying to been connecting and schedule and it's come to fruition. So I'm pretty excited.

Yeah, I'm, I'm absolutely stoked to, uh, to have the time here. Well, let's start out Bruce. What does life look like for you today on the professional side of life?

On the professional side of life? Things are things are coming together. You know, uh, I will tell you this. I've had my share of successes and failures, but I'm at the point now, you know, Quest sold, it's actually coming up on three years ago, we sold and I've been fortunate enough to help build a couple other brands from Legendary to BLK Water to 1st Phorm. So I'm involved with some other brands. Um, so I think professionally things are starting to click and I'm, as you know, I'm now kind of looking at speaking and coaching, you know, and helping other people succeed. And like I said, if I can get, help one person, young, young entrepreneur make a difference. That's what I'm looking to do. So I'm doing more podcasts for that very reason. So that's kind of the chapter I'm at now. I want to, I want to help other people achieve greatness. And I'm still doing building businesses and building relationships. I still work as a reserve for the sheriff's department. So I'm staying busy and I still enjoy what I do.

Yeah. And, and I mean, just the way you've like coming from Quest nutrition, I got to say, man, Quest, those Quest bars, 10 seconds in the microwave, dude, that was a lifesaver when I'm like, I have a sweet tooth, Bruce, holy mackerel, I need something. And, uh, you know, I'm, I'm getting back on track with that, addressing some health concerns and, uh, yeah, they're lifesavers. And then I think with Legendary, you guys actually have like pop tarts that are like protein based. Isn't that right?

Just imagine a pop tart with 20 grams of protein, gluten free high carb, I mean, low carb, I apologize. Um, yeah. Better macros in a Quest bar, actually just a different form factor. If you grew up in the States, you know, everyone's had a pop tart just a healthier version. Then we have sweet rolls and we have, we have chips coming out. We have all kinds of stuff.

Dude. I remember barely like struggling to get down protein shakes. This is a way different time. Well, let's jump over to the personal side. What does that look like for you today?

Uh, personally, it's interesting. Uh, you know, I'm in a, I'm a good spot. You know, my, my two kids actually live with me, believe it or not. And they didn't grow up with me. I had met their mom early on when I was in the Marine Corps. Had two great kids and then we went our separate ways. I started pursuing my career with the police department and she actually moved to uh, Phoenix. So I didn't have a, I didn't have a great relationship with my kids. I didn't see them often enough and now fast forward, my son is a two tour combat vet and he moved back out here and he's in the construction business, he remodels homes, so he lives with me on my property, and then my daughter graduated nursing school, and she just took a job locally about seven months ago, so she's living with me until she finds out where she wants to really live, but, so it's kind of cool having your kids in your life now when they didn't before, so, you know, my son and I work out together, and so it's, it's a pretty cool dynamic.

That is amazing because it's like, you know, still being able to have your children in your life when they are adults and they're wanting to be there.

Yeah.

Um, that was not the path I was on. So I fully appreciate, you know, the, the change that you're talking about because that's, that's also where I'm at and man, it's just such a different dynamic when it's like, yeah, these are my kids. And like, you're working out with your son. I'm like, that's gotta be awesome.

It's kind of cool. Yeah. I never really envisioned that. You know, I mean, my, my, my, my daughter's a little like on my ass about keeping the house clean and stuff. And I'm just like, Oh boy. Okay. Wait, is it my house or your house? But, but it's cool. I mean, it's cool to have, uh, your, your kids around. It's still kind of cool and I'm very proud of them. I mean she's a nurse and that's a great a very honorable occupation. So I'm very very proud of her

That's awesome, man. At least hey, she feels comfortable enough to say something that speaks volumes right there, man.

Yeah, but she also does my laundry. So it's kind of cool. It's kind of getting the benefits of a lot of things. So yeah, things are good.

That's cool. Well, let's let's go back and you know, you've shared where you're at. ,Let's go back because often we can look at somebody. Hey, they're they're experiencing the success, man. They must have had a silver spoon or the, the stars were in alignment, right? And that wasn't the case at all. I mean, you were in high school, just like me, you were, you know, below average student. And then your trajectory, like you totally changed it. How did, how did you go from high school, you know, um, you said you were in the, in the Marines. How did things move from there, um, for you?

wn from the early, before the: 1700

What is this thing of a stamp, Bruce? I mean.

Yeah, right?

Mailing something not email?

I mean the beautiful thing is yeah now you just go to hey Let me apply in 30 seconds and and you get an instant notice. So it was cool because that year was a really good year for me because I worked hard, I was doing three jobs. I was working as a personal trainer at gold's gym I was driving a truck part time. And then on weekends, I saw there was an ad in the newspaper, people used to advertise jobs in the newspaper. I was a, I was a, I was a salesman at a, at a Mitsubishi car dealership, I always tell people this because it's weird like I was not, that's not, that's why, I was not a salesperson. But I was the number one salesperson there for eight months straight. And not being, I say I'm not a salesperson. I was just a relationship person. And a matter of fact, when, when my background officer went to the dealership to interview my fellow employees and the owner, the owner called me in at the, after the background officer left, he said, Hey, you want to be a cop? I said, yeah, it's my, it's my calling. And he goes, I got to tell you, I don't want to lose you. He goes, I'll just tell you this. If you decide you don't want to be a cop or it doesn't work out. He goes at the time, whatever the numbers are irrelevant, but he goes, I'll have you, you'll be the general manager of this place in a year. And you'll be making $175,000 a year, which at the time was probably half a million. And I really, it was so like, I was so humbled that he thought of me like that, but he said, I don't want to lose you, but I know you'd be a cop. And then I started the police career.

And that's amazing, man. I'm sitting here going, yeah, at that time, $175,000. I, that's gigantic.

It was a big car dealership, but it was like, he's all you'll make it. You'll make money here. It could be a career, so.

So what's, what do you mean? Like when you're saying you weren't um, a salesman, like you were, you know, into relationships? What?

I think, I think the word, especially when you think about car salesmen, it's kind of like, to me, it's a little hokey or plaid suit or even a dirty word, right? Like I know, I mean, you know, Hey Bob, what's your payment need to be? I would just approach people and say, Hey, check it out. You know, let's go for a test drive. And, and I swear, this is, I swear on everything. I did not have all the knowledge about some of the different vehicles, but I would have the basics and someone would ask me a Question. I said, that's a really good question, let's go find out together. And I think people love my true authenticity that I wasn't some like, Oh, that's a, that's a 4.0 motor. If I didn't know, I'd say, you know what, let me do, let me make sure I know what I'm talking about. And I would go for a test drive with people, and sometimes people would say, there's a famous term in the sales business of, they'd be, I'll be back. Like the be back bus, right? You've heard that.

Yeah.

And the sales guys would get upset at me because I would, like, Mrs. Smith would leave, and they'd say, where's she going? You're supposed to pass it on to another salesman. You know, you like pass it, okay, hey, I couldn't make it happen. I'd say, ah, she'll be back, and they'd go, they're never coming back. And then the people would come back. And they'd ask for me specifically, but that's not in sales. That's not the rule. You're supposed to pass it to the next person if you can't close it. And I never did it. I just felt like, hey, listen, they're not going to buy from me, I mean, I don't want to I don't want to force you to do something right? And it ended up it ended up working out magically because I just it was authentic relationships.

Hmm. Yeah, that's way different. Because like when somebody says be back, you're like, nah, you won't be.

And some do, but, I mean it just the ratio seemed to work out fine because I was I still have the plaques. They gave me a plaque every month and, and I was like and I didn't I was like well, that's kind of, at the time you get like a 500 bonus for being a number one salesman. But and, and I think it might have maybe rubbed some people but I was just, I was just true to who I was I didn't want to change just to be some like polyester suit guy.

Right. No, you, you were building relationships and people sense that and, and want to do business with you. And I think that's the thing where we're like, this is a necessary evil. I have to deal with a car salesman. I need the car. I don't want the salesman to go with it.

But I think that carried me. I think that that authenticity, even when I was a cop, just being authentic with people, I think, uh, I could, you know, we could talk more about the police thing, but. I quickly learned that I like to live within the spirit of the law and not the letter of the law. And in the police academy, you know, they teach you rules and regulations. Here's the rules, here's the regulations, here's the. And when you get in the field, then you're in the real world. And I realized the world's not black and white, it's very gray. And there's a lot of people that are paycheck away from a crisis and how you treat people, and really it defined who I was because my first training officer was a kind of a gruffer, hardcore Vietnam vet. I loved him to death, but he was just a matter of factly with people. And he even when I first got in the car, he drew a picture on a, on like a, we had a pad. You take notes if you're on your way to call. He drew a face and it had two big eyes and two big ears and no mouth. And he said, you know what that is? Like, no, he goes, that's you. He goes, all ears. I don't need you doing a lot of talking. He goes, cause you're going to learn a lot more if you listen. And by the way, which is a turning point in my life, because I realized listening is, is a, is an art. Many people don't listen. Many people formulate a response before you finish talking. So I learned that listening was key to my success on the rest of the journey, because I heard what people want. I actually listened to hear what they wanted, not what I wanted them to hear, or what I wanted to hear, as a lot of salespeople do, too. I listened to what they said and said, okay, I can do that. As opposed to hearing what I wanted to hear. So, but he taught me a lot of lessons. He also taught me, he was a little rough on people, and I got pulled aside one time from one of my lieutenants and said, Hey, Bruce, you know, I, I see you're working with Bob and Bob's a great guy. He's, he's a hardcore guy, but, but I see the path you're going to go down. And he goes, you really need to find where you want to go in this career. Because yeah, do, is there bad people? Sure. There's bad murders, robbers, rapists, but then there's also people that are here because they got a warrant. They let their license lapse. They let, did, life happen. They're not bad people. They just had bad situations happen. So I had to learn quickly. You know what? Those people need to be respected and, and come into the police station with dignity. And I changed my demeanor. I just be like, I did a podcast recently and I said that I, I would talk people into jail as opposed to, I'd be like, come on, I don't want to mess up my suit, man. Come on. Like, let's just go. Let's just go. Like, I don't want to, don't make a big deal out of this. And I found myself talking people instead of just being physical with them. And a lot of cops, I think, are quick to jump the gun. Like, I call it contempt to cop people because, because you talk back and talk back to me all day long. I don't care. I just listen. Let's just, let's just be friends. Let's just be okay with each other till we get this out of the way, so. But that's a skill that a lot of cops don't have so it's, it's all I call it the art of verbal judo, really. It's verbal judo how to talk to people, deescalate, and who wants to get in a fight every day? Over, over, I don't know you, right? I mean, you know, so anyway.

So how does the way that you were listening and now you are listening, how does that, how can you bring that to bear in like your personal life and not just with sales or, you know, the police force? How do you bring that to bear? And what does the process look like as well?

Well, if you're talking about personal. That's, I mean listen even if you're in a relationship with a significant other, man or woman, I think a lot of people in relationships don't listen. That's part of the challenges in relationships, right? Even in business. I think women complain they're, you know, men don't listen and vice versa or she hears what she wants to hear. I try, when I'm in, I even try it with my kids. I try and hear what they're saying to me and not dissected on what, how I wanted to hear, but what they're actually truly saying. And I've had my limit. If you want to talk about personal, I've had my failures in personal relationships with women. Um, I don't know if it's because of lack of listening, but maybe other traits or qualities, but, um, I try and be a good listener.

Cool. Yeah, I used to, uh, one line I used to say was if my wife would listen, I would listen. Bruce, I wasn't going to listen. Let's be honest, man. It was, I wanted to be heard and the line followed. So yeah, what you're talking about of like showing that respect and listening and actually hearing what's being said changes the dynamic.

Right.

It puts it on its head from where things can be at. So yeah, that's, that's crucial.

But it's, listening is I think even far more important. It's equal, but, in personal, but even in business really listen, I've been on sales calls with guys and women, and we will leave a meeting and they're like, Oh, that was amazing. Oh, my God, they're going to take our product. I said, is that what you heard? Cause I heard them say they're going to evaluate us and make a determination, but they haven't decided yet. I didn't hear that. I go, that's the words they use. They said, we'll get back to you. We need to decide if the team, it is a good fit. It happened at Quest. And what would happen is the salesperson go back and tell the head of sales. Oh my God, it was amazing. And I say, that's not what I heard. They're excited, but, and, and, and salespeople don't, everyone wants to come back to your boss and say, that was an amazing meeting, right? But they're not all amazing. Sometimes they just had a good meeting, but they're not or they say no. And that's another thing, um, what was it? I just did a call recently with someone and the, the buyer was starting to talk to us and said, um, Hey, listen, we've evaluated things and we're really and she didn't even finish her thought or a sentence and the sales guy chimed in and goes Well, you know blah, blah, blah and he's talked for like three minutes straight. And she, he got done and she, and she said, well, if you don't mind, I'd like to finish da, da, da, da, da. And we're going to pass on taking your brand at this time because we don't have the space, but he didn't even want, I mean, and I told him to let her finish, like let her finish. And it, it made all the difference. I feel like now the, now the relationship's a little like soured and I had to go back and say, Hey, I apologize. Let's revisit this in six months. But if people just listened, you don't always hear what you want to hear, but now you have the facts to walk away with, right?

Yeah, you're in a place of being empowered to actually.

Right, to yeah.

Honor the person and yourself and then make, make something that's healthier. Because how many times have we spoke over somebody because we didn't like what they were saying or how they were saying it and then it just escalates.

Yeah.

So what you're talking about deescalating, you know, building the relationship. And it sounds like, um, you know, you're able to see even though the sales guys aren't like the be backs are still possible opportunities.

Sure.

It's a, it's a not right now. Maybe later.

Yeah, exactly.

Um, so after you joined the police force, you then started like your own security system. Um, and like, how did things progress from there? Like, what did that look like for you? How did you step into it?

So like a lot of, you know, civil service jobs, I was, I, it was okay money, but an opportunity to work, uh extra hours there was a retired sergeant from Beverly Hills I met and he had an executive protection business. He was taking care of a lot of elite clients and he, and he, I, he worked, I worked a couple things for him and he put me on a few details. And after a while I was like, well, this is, this is pretty, I like this business and I'm gonna figure out how, so I started my own I started, I got you know, took the test and got licensed and figured it all out. And then, um, one of his clients who I was with now for a year said, Hey, we don't want to really deal with him anymore. We want to work with you. So I said, listen, I'm a pretty ethical guy. It's his account. So they worked out the back end. He said, listen, I'll pay you $10,000 on what you would have made for this period of time. We want to hire Bruce. So they hired me. That client to this day is still with me 30, 30 years later. He, he's, he's, he's, he's on the, he was one of the original guys on the Forbes billionaire list and he's still on it. But so, I maintain that relationship. But what happened was I said, okay, let me start reaching out to people. And I met a guy who owned a high end limousine company. We became fast friends and he started referring business to me. And all of a sudden it just started coming. I ended up taking care of the chairman of Sony music who was married to Mariah Carey at the time. And you know, once I had a client like that, I was able to call agents or managers, Hey, I'm taking care of so and so. And they just started coming. And once again, it goes back to this, i, I listened to clearly what they wanted and I had the relationship capital I was building and I provided a good service. The problem, it was very hard to scale. Because I was only one, so that's why I left the police department to pursue that full time, but even then it's hard to scale because I can only be in so many places and the times I lost clients or lost accounts was when I sent other people on my behalf. And even though I have a certain way to do things, how I communicate, I never get involved with people's business, I don't ever sit at a dinner table with anyone. I could know them, I could work with them for years and years and years and they'll say, hey, join us for dinner. No, I'll be at the bar. I'm always, it doesn't, it doesn't matter how long I've been with you. It's the same protocol. The problem is I, I hired other guys and said, here's my rule book. No, never sit with the client, never do this. And then once they were with them for a couple of days, they'd say, well, they kept offering to have me come sit. So I sit at the table for dinner and I would ultimately lose because they got too comfortable. Or they weren't in the service mindset where I've had clients over the years, you know, we've had residential security and they'll come out and ask one of the guys, Hey, do you mind, um, Hey, do you mind walking the dog around the property? I'm kind of busy. And then I get a call. Hey, your guy refused to walk my dog and, and they and their response, Well, it's not my job. I go, well listen, we're in the service space. We're, we're in the service of others and yeah, why the job is security, who cares walk the dog around the property. So you I've always been in that mindset you need to shift gears, you need to be ambidextrous, you need to accommodate people you're working with and it's, it's interesting over the years, people I've met that just won't do that. They just won't do it. I've, I've had the good fortune to get my friend some good jobs. And, uh, one of them, crazy enough, he was gonna be the personal assistant for the owner of the Dodgers back in the day. And the owner of the Dodgers said, hey, here's, I, here's the things I need. You're kinda like my personal right hand man. And I guess the next day he said, hey, can you be at the house by like 9 o'clock? And, and he came in and he goes, hey, do you mind whipping, whipping me up a couple eggs while we're, before we go to a meeting? And the guy goes, I don't cook. And he left the job and it was, and he goes, Bruce, I'm not a cook. I go, I'm not a cook either, but I could do, I could put two fried eggs on a pan. And, uh, and, uh, so it's interesting how many people are not open to just expand their horizons and say, I am not a cook, but I'll learn, so.

Yeah.

I always encourage people to do more, give more and, and, you know, give, give, give, give, give freely and, and they'll come back on you tenfold, but people don't, not everyone's up to that.

So how did you get into that place or how do you, how do you like when, when you're coaching me, let's, let's say I'm working for you, Bruce, how do you get me to that place where it's like, Hey, yeah, okay, I get this. And I changed my limited perspective of, Hey, I can't cook eggs. I don't cook eggs to, you know, walking the dog and cooking eggs and serving people?

Some people get it and some don't. I've had this conversation, you know, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, serve, uh, uh, a servant leadership mentality. And some people like either they're set in their ways or they'll say, yeah, yeah, yeah. But then they push back on it when they're actually in the situation. I can't change, sometimes you just can't people change people's mindset, but I've had also great people that, yeah, they'll do whatever it takes. They'll call me and say, Hey, they got me, you know, I'm walking the dog and I'm taking out the mail and whatever. It's, it's all in a day's work, how I look at it, you know?

Yeah.

But uh, sometimes you can't switch people's mindset. They don't have a growth mindset, you know?

So what do you mean by growth mindset? What's, what's that?

Um, Oh, I think just what it means that like, listen, some people are limited in what they believe, right? They, they've been raised a certain way, their, their job description a certain way and have that growth mentality of, let me grow with like, expand my horizons besides the job, the box that I'm in. That's, think that's one of the things that was key for me at Quest when I started helping to build relationships, I was not qualified to work in this nutrition space. I met them at the gym, helped them build some relationships, got some product in people's hands. But once I started visiting the office and I remember a year into the relationship, they were like, hey, we're thinking about building like a studio over in this corner. I'm not a construction worker, but over the holidays, we shut down from a couple days before Christmas till after like a 15 day stretch, I came in on the holiday and built out the studio, got the blue carpet, painted the walls, got furniture from Ikea, and when they came back from vacation, they didn't, I wasn't around, I was traveling and they came in and they said, Oh, Bruce must have been here over the holidays. They didn't say who did this. They said Bruce must have come in. And my point is, I just did whatever it took. Now, I could have easily said, Hey, we want to build this studio. I don't know. You better find someone to do it. I said, let me figure out how to get that done. I asked them a couple questions, they left and I just did it. But I did that all the time. It wasn't my job, but I made it my job to get it done for them. And that's where I brought, I brought value with no expectations and I learned to have a growth mindset. Like I learned to grow. Okay, here's what needs to get done. Take on the responsibility. A lot of people won't do that. I, I, uh, I, I had a challenge. Someone, we had a, uh, a marketing guy who would only do marketing. He wouldn't do events with me. He wouldn't go places. He wouldn't, he just said, that's not my job. And he was limited. He ended up not staying with us, but because he was limited in what he wanted to do and he limited his belief system, you know?

Yeah. Oftentimes I think that limitation of what we identify as like that identity prison of what we're willing to also involve ourselves in, limits our opportunity for growth. Like, you didn't start out going, Hey, I'm going to, I'm going to be like the chief communication officer at Quest or, you know, uh, an advisor to, you know, Legendary Foods. I mean, you're, you're talking, I started out in high school, went to the Marines, went into the police force, and you're observing both with your eyes, but also with your ears, what are people saying, how can I serve them?

Yeah. Exactly.

And it's not a place of, of weakness, right? People here serve and it's like, Oh no, I'm, I'm not waving the palm leaf on somebody else, but it's like, you're building those relationships and it's a different way of investing. And it also builds you up, yes?

Yes. A hundred percent. I always tell people this. I was, I was not the most qualified person to do any of those jobs, but I just dove in and brought value or I saw there was a place to bring value. And that's where I proved my worth, but a lot of people self doubt or I'm not qualified. I wasn't, I wasn't qualified to work in a nutrition company, but I was qualified to bring them value and ask nothing in return. And that, that, that came back tenfold.

You and I, like previous to the interview had talked about, like, self doubt being something that's kind of, you know, been something you've, you've worked through, um, that it's been something that's held you back. Like, what, what's an example of like that as you've gone through and how have you done that inner work to move beyond it?

Um, I'm, many examples. Even when I did the executive protection, I had some opportunities. I would get a call from like the chairman of the music company and say, Hey, I need you to go, um, go visit this client. They're having a problem. And I'd fly somewhere and meet them and deal with the situation. And I still had doubt. So I would take care of a problem, right? Someone had a stalker, or when Napster, remember Napster when it came to be? Remember?

Yes.

Download, uh, uh, Sean, um, the last name will come to me, he owns part of Facebook now, but I flew up and spent two days with him. And after two days he said, uh, oh, Sean Parker. He said, uh, I think I'm good I don't, I don't think, I think we're okay and I said, okay, no problem and I left. I, my self doubt caused me not to follow up with those people, which could have been come a lifetime customer of mine, right? I just did the detail and thought, well, if they want me back, they'll call me because I doubted. I didn't, I wasn't a good followup person follow through where if I was more shrewd in business, I would have followed up with an assistant and say, Hey, I was up there, I spent two days with him. I just want to stay relevant. What else do you need? And I probably could have picked up millions of dollars worth of customers and clients, but I just, the self doubt caused me to be like, okay, the gig's over, go on, go on your way. And I shouldn't, I should have been more prudent in the business aspect of things.

So how do you, from like that kind of situation to now taking action, you know, you talked about building the studio for, for Quest nutrition. How have you continued to move through that self doubt to kind of almost like, uh, gain like a self confidence or a self action?

Yeah, I think, I think for some people, for me anyway, self doubt comes from what people are going to think of me. And I started, it's actually someone said something kind of crazy to me recently. Um, they, they were, I don't know, why are you doing all that? Seems like it's whatever, right? They're telling, they were, they were kind of not really in my game. And, and I, so I text back and said, Hey, what you think about me is really none of my business. Um, and I, but I, but I had not, but I would, if I did something in the past, I'd be, Oh, what does he think? What does she think? And really all my friends that are all wealthy are like, who cares what they think? They're thinking from the sidelines, why they're doing nothing and you're doubting yourself and you're causing this, to you, for you to be paralyzed over what other people think. Even with public speaking, I'm always so, I am, I'm so worried about what people are going to think, how they're going to judge me. And at the end of the day, does it really matter? Even if I fumble. At least I'm doing, I think I'm doing more than 99 percent of the other people are, are, they talk about it, you know, so that's one thing I've had to overcome and it's, and it's still a struggle by the way, it's still a struggle. I was at an event just recently. I was on a panel and this is the weirdest thing in the world. There was someone in the audience who I used to do business with and they, they, the company removed them and I felt like, oh, I had nothing to do with it, but I was also like, oh, oh, that person's in the audience and I felt funny. Instead of just saying, who cares? And I was, I, you know, I found myself once again, Oh, what are they going to think about what my speech is like? So I think everyone's at some point, you just got to say, you know, Hey, I'm doing what I do. And, uh, but of course, self doubt. I mean, I think I've been in some situations where I even not imposter syndrome, but that's not me because I'm older and I've done so many things, but I'm sometimes in places I've been to in the White House, in the Oval Office as a guest with an artist, about four years in a row. We used to go to the White House when Clinton was in the office, and then when Bush was in office, and there were times where I'd be like I don't really belong here. Like I'm still that middle class kid from New Jersey. I wonder if they're going to figure it out? You know, kind of like, so that's the different kind of self doubt, right? Like, do I really belong here?

So how, how are you working going forward to like, see yourself not as that middle class kid back from Jersey, but instead, Hey, this is the Bruce that I am today. And these are the things that I have achieved and the opportunities before you, how do you make that transition and continue to grow?

I think it's continual positive reinforcement and the ability to know that you're doing good things for the world or for people. That's why I look at it too. I think I do good things for people. It's not, it's not all selfish. It's not all self serving. It's not about, I mean, yeah, is money great? And I say this because I've been around enough wealthy people that, all money does is facilitate things in life. It, it, it helps move things, right? I've been around literally people worth three and 400 million who have killed themselves, drug overdoses or suicides. During COVID, one of my clients, literally one of my, he was an old client. He, he jumped out of a 50 story building during COVID and he was worth 400, 500 million. So I always say money clearly does not make that all, all, all, you know, rainbow and sunshine. Um, so what was my point to that is, um, so yeah, I think continual positive reinforcement, no one, I think it, for me, it's knowing I'm doing good things. I'm not just doing, I'm not, it's not a money grab for me. It's like, Hey, if I could help you, if I could help you avoid landmines, if I could help a young entrepreneur create opportunities and right? Why not, right?

So you're, it's almost like you're investing in a wider perspective rather than just somebody saying, Hey, I'm going to do this to make the money, you're going, Yes, the money will come.

Yeah.

I'm investing in the relationships. I'm investing in me and you're, you know, investing in the growth because, you know, cumulatively it's going to get you to that, that place of success, right?

Right.

It's not just one road leads to, to success. It's there's different parts. It's almost like going to the gym, I guess, Bruce, right?

Yeah.

We've, we've all seen the guys that, you know, work the upper body and they have chicken legs, right?

Right.

But you're talking about, I'm going to work my legs. I'm going to work my upper body. I'm going to work cardio. And all of that is going to build the lifestyle, the life that you want.

Right. Yup.

Is that in, line with that?

Yeah. A hundred percent. Yep.

Okay.

I agree with everything you're saying. Yeah.

Um, now you'd also shared like, Hey, my, uh, lack of knowledge of money caused me problems, but you're like, as an advisor and investor, you know, now with, um, Legendary, you've not let like that limitation holds you back. You grew through that. How do you identify, you know, like, Hey, this, this thing is limiting me in, in my ability to grow. How do you pull that out? I mean, are you waiting for like, Hey, the bottom dropped out of life, or are you able to pick up, you know, road signs along the way that, uh, you know, kind of like those warning sites, dangerous curve ahead kind of deal.

Are you talking about for the financial aspect?

Um, I guess for financial, but also like beyond that. So let's say, you know, you see me having a blind spot. How would you coach me to be able to see that blind spot in my life? Maybe it's, you know, lack of humility or it's a lack of understanding in finances or relationships. How can we be more aware in our journey to pick those up before they cause us to go over the cliff?

Yeah, that's a good question. I do know, I mean, it's interesting, the higher you go up in a company, I call it, uh, intellectual arrogance. A lot of leaders, um, either it's their way or the highway or they don't want to hear what you have to say. And uh, you know, I wish I had I wish I had advisors back when I had my financial problems because I was doing well In the bodyguard business. Extremely well, financially. Lots of money in the bank. But I think, did I tell you this? You know, my payroll was due one one week and my bookkeeper said oh your payrolls, Let's say 60 or 70 thousand dollars, but you have 30 in the bank. And it's like how's that possible? We're making all this money. She's yeah, but you have all these receivables that are still out. You need to collect it. So I ended up having to cash out my, which was a small pension, because I only left, I had like 10 years vested, but it was still vested. Cashed that out, but looking back if I had all these relationships I have now I could have called anyone Hey, how do I get a credit line? Hey, can I borrow money? What do I do? I, I must know 10 people now I could call and probably get a million dollars overnight just based on reputation, right? But now, but then I was like, I was embarrassed because I'm like wait, I'm living in this big house. I'm doing really well, but who am I gonna call for money? They're gonna think I'm, they're gonna think I'm an idiot. And so I was paralyzed so that, that that really screwed me up and, and it's, it was a valuable lesson So I say this don't be arrogant. Don't be cocky. Like if you need help, speak up. I now ask for ask for help Hey, I, I'm not sure how to do this. I'm not sure how to raise money. I've helped friends recently, I wasn't in the money raising business. I'm not in the M&A business. I'm not in, but I now know people. Oh, you want to start a business? Hey, here's two of my friends. They could probably help you raise some capital. If the business makes sense. But 15 years ago, I'd be like, I don't know, go to Bank of America and ask for a loan. I don't know how, take out a, take out a, you know, I don't know how it works. So, and I really didn't, I truly had no idea how it worked. So, and it's funny at the time, my wife was in banking. This is funny. She was in banking and yet she didn't have the knowledge. She was a banker. You know, money in, money out. Maybe there were CD's and investments then, but even her, she didn't know about bigger picture on how to borrow like a million dollars or that, that just wasn't traditional banking, right? That's when you gotta go outside to equity firms, so.

But I think along with the relationships, being able to put ourselves in a place where we're willing to ask instead of just taking that ignorant path. That will, ignorance and not asking gets us into dangerous place.

Yeah, you gotta, gotta feel, ask, it's okay to ask for help. It's okay. And I think what I'm finding, even with me, I was, you know, with this whole speaking thing and podcast was like, I don't know. People are all, if, if you've got good relationships, it goes back to that relationship capital where I feel I've made more deposits than withdrawals with my time. I, it's okay when I ask for help, they're like, Oh, absolutely. My God, look at everything you've done for me. Of course, I'm going to try and help you. It's not a, and you know, there's people I, I think I may have talked about already that like, Hey, there's people that are always asking, I'm always trying to deposit. So that when I, if I do need something, I'm, I'm going to feel okay asking because it's been a good relationship. As opposed I've been taking from you, you know? Um, so ask, I tell people ask, ask, if I don't know, just ask, are you surprised how many people want to help just to, even if they're just proud of the knowledge they have, you know, you know what I mean?

Absolutely. And it's so funny. Cause it's like, there's other people that are gifted in areas that I'm not.

Right.

You know, that, that that's their, the thing that lights them up and if we would just ask, it's like, they're happy to do what they do well. Where I'm ignorant or I suck at it.

Yeah, exactly.

So, um, how did you like transition? You talked about, hey, you were helping out, uh, the guys at Quest Nutrition. Um, how did that all come about in, you know, transitioning from, uh, security into, into working as a chief communication officer. And I mean, like, it wasn't what, like you went through, I'm a broadcast journalist or anything like that, but yet you're doing the communications. How did that evolve?

It evolved, it went back to when I, you know, I was just bringing value, anything they needed. And after, you know, I got it, got the product in the hands of a lot of people. I was just getting product from them and get it in celebrities hands. I was doing the security on a set of Extra at the time and Jessica Simpson was a client and I kept bringing value. And, and, and at some point, nine months into it, they said, Hey, we're going to put you on the payroll. And, uh, I said, no, no, I'm, I'm good. And they said, no, no, we're going to put you on a payroll. You could, you could donate it to charity, but we're going to put you on the payroll. And I think once I got that money, which goes back to like a work ethic thing from my father. That once I started getting, you know, it was a small stipend, but I was like, oh wow, now I really got to prove myself. So I just dove in and, and it's interesting. I don't know, it's almost a blur on how it happened or why it happened, but I was, you know, pretty fulfilled. I'm doing the security work and doing a limousine business, but it almost became a little bit of my why. Because people were writing us saying, gosh, I lost 25 pounds over the last three, four months eating Quest bars as a go to snack, as opposed to the crap I was eating and, and it was really became fulfilling to hear back from people. And also it was like a, it was like a blank slate because the guys didn't, they didn't know what they didn't know. One, one, the founder was in charge of R&D, one was in accounting and, and, and production. The other one was sales and marketing. And I, I just said, Hey, where do we have holes? And they said, we don't really know. Just go out and find them. So I got us involved with bodybuilding events and CrossFit events, and I, we, we hired three PR firms over the course of the time I was there, and I hired them all, interviewed them, and of course, you know, the partners were involved, but I just, anywhere that needed to be done, and I just started to learn how to talk to people, like, I was, like, goes back to, I wasn't qualified to hire a PR firm, but I knew how to talk to them, and I knew what, I knew what the deliverable should be, and I just did that, and then, It was interesting, there was a dynamic at Quest. A lot of people didn't want to travel. Like the salespeople would just as soon not go anywhere. And to me, if GNC had an event or Vitamin Shop had a big event, they had charities or golf tournaments. I'd be like, I'll go. And they'd send me. For years on end I would be the only face, I'd be the face of Quest. So that's what they got to know. That's where a lot of people actually think I was one of the founders because I was out and about I'd say on average 40 weekends a year out of 52. I was on a plane and it got to the point where I just anywhere there was an opportunity, I got us involved. Award shows, anywhere I could, if it wasn't from the protection clients, it was just new opportunities I created. And, um, so that's kind of where it evolved to become who I was in the company because of all the things I did. I, I had the good fortune, I don't know if you remember Tony Hsieh, who started Zappos. And I went visited them in, in Vegas and I met him and we talked about, and I, so I came back and practiced the Delivering Happiness, and our office was decked out, like, we call it the Wow Factory because I just wanted people to know we were there to bring value and and blow people away, basically. So I kind of carved my own way. It was, it was a, it was a great, it was a good thing. It was a good thing that the timing, that the trust they had in me and uh And I, and I think because of what I did and my work ethic, it just, I hate to say it, but no one could keep up on what I did. Like I would have young, young kids come in, to keep in mind, I didn't meet the founder's of Quest until I was in my forties. You'd have people come to, you know, work in at 21, 22, 23. So Bruce, I saw you at some event last weekend. I want to, I want to go with you. Sure. Absolutely. Hey, this weekend I'm going to be going to San Diego. And then you get the, Oh, my boyfriend's got plans. Oh, my girlfriend's got plans. Oh, I got a wedding. I said, well, I'm giving you the opportunity. But, no, no one would take me up on it and the rare occasion someone did, they wouldn't show up on Monday and Tuesday for work. And when I'd see them on Tuesday or Wednesday, I say what happened? I was exhausted. I go, and? Like I just I mean, there's times you do events and you'd be done at eight o'clock on a Sunday night. Just get up and go back to work. And so it's not in everybody's DNA. But I give this as an example, if anyone out there could be an intern at Quest Nutrition, do it all over again, and nine years later be part of the executive team that sold for a billion dollars cash, and you could have, you know, some, some, some, a little, a little equity in that, would you do it? Most people, yeah, I mean, it would be life changing, right? But the problem is, along that journey, the self doubt, Oh, this is not really going to be anything. Oh, my boyfriend, my girlfriend, my, and I used to even tell young kids, I said, don't get me wrong, I get it, you're in love, you're 24 years old, I get it, right? But think about, think about this, dive into this and work, bust your butt 30, 35 years old. Like, make a mark in this world, where that, when you are 35, you'll be in a different economic status. Well, yeah, but yeah, this yeah, but I'm saying is the advice is free it's just a matter of, but yet I did it. I just I dug in it cost me. Yeah, it wasn't for everybody. I had a relationship I mean, I was fortunate. I had a pretty good relationship with a woman, but even that after a while it got taxing and she'd travel with me, but after a while it got taxing, so, but. Is there a give and take? For sure. I don't, I don't know about that balance of work life. What do they say work life personal whatever, but I'm, not sure. I mean, that's probably one of my addictions is, is working. Thank God it's not something else, but yeah.

Yeah, I think it's like, we're, we're all learning as we go along what fits best for our life. And I, it's one that I'm sure as you continue on, things are going to continue to morph and transform and evolve. And the more you learn and hear.

Right.

Just like for any of us, right? You, you're given opportunities, just as we're given opportunities. What choice do you make in the midst of those? Bruce, I want to say thank you so much for joining me and sharing your insights, your journey, um, the value of relationships and the importance of asking, you know, questions, being able to ask for help. Man, that I wish I had heard from you way back when, because I would have had a different path and a lot less bumps, but that's what makes our journey, right? Our, our story.

I think the relationships carry us a long way.

Yes, absolutely. Well, Bruce, my friend, how can men connect with you outside of this podcast? What's the best way to reach you?

Um, I guess a couple ways. Instagram people message me on Instagram. It's BruceECardenas, and then I have my own website, brucecardenas.com. Yeah.

Gotcha.

Anyone ever has any Questions or, I like, I, I just like connecting with people, you know.

I was gonna say, man, your, your, like photos going back to where, you know, like you were running security back in the eighties.

Oh yeah, yeah.

And nineties. I'm like. No way. I remember this person, you know, like looking at Bruce Willis. It's like, hello?

Yeah. Yeah. The throwback photos. I'm known for, too.

Yeah, they're, they're phenomenal. So if you want to see stuff from that timeframe as well, definitely another reason to check out Bruce, so. Bruce, thank you so much, my friend. I appreciate you joining me, sharing everything and, uh, look forward to seeing where things continue to grow for you, buddy.

Thank you very much.