Overcoming Limiting Beliefs and Fears : Discovering Your Authentic Self with Lee Zuniss

Mike Forrester: [: 00:00:00

Lee Zuniss: Mike, I'm doing pretty well. Um, thanks. Thanks for asking. And, and thank you so much for, for having me on, on your show.

Mike Forrester: Absolutely, bro. I mean, you've, the stuff you've gone through and how you've handled it and where you're at now, this. Is something that was super encouraging me for, for our conversation when we were at the conference. And so I wanted to make sure that, you know, um, to be able to give this to other men to be able to listen and find that encouragement, that hope to be able to take on what they're facing as well.

ss: That is my hope as well, [: 00:02:00

Mike Forrester: Yeah, I get it. Well, let's jump in, um, and, and what does life look like for you today on the professional side of life?

, um, which is incorporating [: 00:03:00

Mike Forrester: And that's like 180 degrees from where you were at one point. So it's like [00:05:00] the, the lie that we often believe of, Hey, this is who I am. You get what you get. It's all trash.

Lee Zuniss: Yeah.

Mike Forrester: Um, and I just wanted to kind of jump back when you were talking about, you know, like the micro dosing.

Lee Zuniss: Yeah.

Mike Forrester: So it, in essence is removing like blocks, right? As if we almost have blinders on and it, it allows for things that would be resistant to necessarily being seen and gives us clarity on to other, other stuff that we may not have a full insight to, right? So stuff that's been hidden kind of brings to the surface and other stuff that it's just like la la la. You know, I don't want to hear it. You can then, you know, like, get past that kind of stuff. Correct?

ings that are living with in [: 00:06:00

Mike Forrester: Gotcha.

Lee Zuniss: Yes.

Mike Forrester: No, that's that's a great.

Lee Zuniss: Yeah.

Mike Forrester: Way to, to go about things, man. You know, how much do we keep hidden? So.

Lee Zuniss: Yes.

Mike Forrester: So on the personal side of life, what does that look like for you today?

ot by chance because it was, [: 00:07:00

Mike Forrester: Mm-hmm.

perty, um, bordering a state [: 00:08:00

Mike Forrester: And, and the 1 thing that's so funny to me is it's like you're in Colorado with the iguana that's behind you on the wall, you know, the painting. Man, I keep thinking it's like, I'm going to be talking to you. You're down in Costa Rica, like, you know, your compound has banana trees, everything else. You're not far from Lenny Kravitz, right? It's like.

Lee Zuniss: Yeah.

Mike Forrester: And I go, no, he's in Colorado.

Lee Zuniss: Yes.

rent, uh, flow or, you know, [: 00:10:00

Lee Zuniss: Yes.

Mike Forrester: But I still keep thinking you're in Costa Rica man, seeing that iguana, I'm like, I'm coming, Lee. I'm going down there. Yep. Pet the iguana. Well, let's, let's go ahead and jump into some of the stuff you faced from your childhood.

Lee Zuniss: Yes.

Mike Forrester: So stuttering was a big thing. And I think that was from like age six until like mid thirties was something that it was like you were working to overcome.

Lee Zuniss: Right. I've been trying, I've been trying to figure out exactly when, because it was over, this was a long, long process. Um.

Mike Forrester: Yeah.

Lee Zuniss: But I did overcome it. Uh, but yeah, probably around age 30 or so, or yeah, something like that.

, somebody telling me, [: 00:11:00

Lee Zuniss: Yeah.

stuttering and the type one [: 00:12:00

Lee Zuniss: Um, the first word, the first thing and word that's coming to mind is shame. Um, at a very young age, I just did everything I possibly could to not speak. I would dread being in class. I would never, ever volunteer, like raise my hand, um, to speak. I was terrified. I was terrified to be called on. I'd like try and like, you know, hide, hide my, you know, hide underneath my hand, you know, everything I possibly could, which is it's exhausting. It's absolutely exhausting. Um, and so it also gave me, so there's there was shame involved with that. There was an [00:13:00] association of not being smart, um, and, and then fast forward to when I was 13 and I was diagnosed with diabetes. Again, there was, even though it's, you know, it's just my pancreas just stopped working. Um, I didn't do any, I didn't do anything to, for, to, to, to influence that happening. But again, there was, there was shame involved and I, and I would hide, I would hide it. You know, so when I would go to school, I would do everything I possibly could to, to hide it. Go to the bathroom to check, prick my finger to check my blood sugar. And so again, I had this other thing now, now that I needed to hide, um, and feel shameful about, but I will tell you that those two things, and I've, and I've gotten some major clarity on this in the last [00:14:00] few years for sure. Is that they helped me, they both helped me be with my sense of, of awareness and my sense of self, my sense of self awareness and I'll explain how. With the stuttering, back then I remember going to a speech mythologist, mythologist and she would, um, give me exercises and they would be mostly about intentional breath work. So always to take a deep breath before I spoke because it was very grounding. So I practiced, I had lots of time to practice. I would practice and I, so I would always take a breath before I spoke. [00:15:00] So I had this practice of connecting with my breath. So mindfulness from, from, from a very young, from a very young age. It's funny. I actually just saw myself. Like, I feel it. It still lives in me a little bit. I'm like, I just saw like, a little bit of a stutter and it comes up when I get nervous, I'm just bringing that. I'm just being, you know, I'm just, I'm just, just thinking out loud right now.

Mike Forrester: Yeah.

, um, [: 00:16:00

Mike Forrester: Yeah. The things that we go through and grow from.

Lee Zuniss: Go through and grow from.

Mike Forrester: Um, we often, what's that?

Lee Zuniss: No, I was just repeating. I was just, yeah no, that go through and, go through and grow from, I don't know if I've ever actually heard that before.

Mike Forrester: Well, I mean, it's like you, you went through that experience, right? There's, there's no way to avoid the fact that it's like, I'm pricking my, my finger eight times a day.

Lee Zuniss: Yeah.

ester: You know, we're hyper [: 00:18:00

Lee Zuniss: That wasn't happening when we were, we're about the same age. And no, that, that was not, unless you lived, you lived in, like, an, like, like an ashram somewhere or an intentional community where that was really present, no. Not in my life, for sure.

it just depends on what was [: 00:20:00

Lee Zuniss: Sure. Sure. Um, it was actually get, I have to say this, this phrase was sort of given to me by a friend, um, because she noticed that I, I, I wasn't necessarily trying or intentionally doing this, but it was the phrases and it's actually it's how can this get even better? So, so it's a, what it really is, it's a practice of, [00:21:00] um, not necessarily, you know, being grateful, but it's beyond being grateful as far as, um, it's the intention of connecting. I'm looking up right now. Like, like, like, into the, like, into the universe, like, it's, it's the intention of when I'm saying how can this get better? I'm speaking to the universe and I'm calling upon the universe to assist me to assist me, to support me. And so, even though I may feel grateful and satisfied of where I'm at, at a particular time, especially if I'm not feeling grounded or grateful, it's just a practice of how can this get [00:22:00] even, the even part is is in relation to assuming that things are good, you know, things and things are actually pretty, pretty damn good. But how can it get even better? So, really opening up. So the possibilities are endless and then opening up like, I don't know why this is coming to me, but just, let's just say you're at, we're at, we're on a hike and we're having this beautiful hike in the mountains. And all of a sudden, you know, and you and I look at each other and we're like, this is amazing. Like, so gorgeous. Like, our blood's pumping. We're getting exercise. And then, like, how can this get any even better? And a bald eagle just flies by or a moose comes by. Stuff like, it's that's uh, one example, but that can be applied to many different areas in life.

Mike Forrester: Right. Yeah. [: 00:23:00

Lee Zuniss: Honestly, the way it was, the way it was created by my friend was that she was observe. I think we were just, we were, we were feeling so grateful that, but we still wanted to, it was almost an experiment to see how, how good this can get. [00:24:00]

Mike Forrester: Gotcha. Okay.

Lee Zuniss: So yeah, honestly, it's less about, it's less about looking through life through like the lens of, of being victimized. Um, it's less about it. I mean, the truth, it was less about that, the, where that phrase came from.

Mike Forrester: Gotcha. Okay. So it's a way of enhancing and increasing your gratitude for what you're experiencing, right?

Lee Zuniss: Yes.

Mike Forrester: While it's a great hike. Oh, my gosh, there was the bald eagle. There was a bear. Fortunately, the bear didn't come after us, but oh, my gosh, we've got to see a bear, you know? I don't want to be a track star, you know?

Lee Zuniss: Yeah.

Mike Forrester: So let's, let's let the bear be on the other side of the river. But it's super cool.

Lee Zuniss: Yes.

No, I get you. Well, and so [: 00:25:00

Lee Zuniss: Yeah. It kept me in a very status quo, like safe, safe, quote unquote, safe place. Um, there were, there were times where I would test, test myself to see what my, what I was capable of, but honestly, there was so [00:26:00] much anxiety that it almost, I'm thinking of a particular time where, so a guy who had a stutter and, um, and I guess the, the type one diabetes has had less to do with this, but I've always had this curiosity and passion about acting, for acting. So in my, mostly in my twenties and early thirties, and this is very interesting with acting because I was memorizing the lines, I never stuttered.

Mike Forrester: Really?

Lee Zuniss: Yes. So it was, it was all about.

Mike Forrester: So was it the line memorization that was kind of different in rather than thinking the response up.

Lee Zuniss: Yes. So there wasn't anything, I didn't have to think.

Mike Forrester: Huh.

Zuniss: All I had to do was [: 00:27:00

Mike Forrester: Right.

w, just remembering my lines [: 00:28:00

Mike Forrester: Yeah, but the other option is what? Continue on that same path.

Lee Zuniss: Well.

Mike Forrester: You know, I mean, you took a harder route.

And I will say, my ex wife, [: 00:31:00

Mike Forrester: So it's, it's almost like, uh, sounds like you learned grace and love for yourself. And like that was the stepping into, um, you know, your mindfulness and how to, how to grow from there instead of, you know, so often we'll hear people say, who I am is who I am. This, these challenges or these struggles that I've gone through, they define me and they limit me for life.

Lee Zuniss: No.

Mike Forrester: Which nothing can be further from the truth. It's that belief that, Hey, I'm going to be held at this level.

Lee Zuniss: Yes.

rtable? No way in the world. [: 00:33:00

Lee Zuniss: Yeah.

Mike Forrester: Um, as you've done that hard work and you stepped into those uncomfortable places, how have you seen, you know, those things fade away and be replaced with what you have now? Like, what opportunities have opened up because you did say, no, I'm not going to stay where I'm at. I'm not going to continue to believe this. I'm I'm going to choose to see myself differently. What have you seen open up for you from that?

rom taking those steps, even [: 00:34:00

Mike Forrester: So how did you go about creating relationships around you to be able to make that kind of a call? Because when you're in that place, it's, it's not like the easiest thing to do. There's still those, those doubts, those, you know, beliefs that it's like, uh, I don't want to bother whomever you're going to call. Eh, I can, you know, you'll be like, buck up, you know, you can get through this without making that call. How did you build the relationships around you to be able to make those calls to say, hey. I just need an ear to, to have somebody know that I'm in this place?

Lee Zuniss: Well, [: 00:38:00

Mike Forrester: Yeah, that makes sense. I'm, I'm curious because for me, this was something I didn't realize in the midst of it, Lee, but if I was facing a challenge, right, just like we've talked about, you know, you going, Hey, I, I'm [00:42:00] stuttering. I want to get up on stage, but, you know, here's X, Y, and Z that, um, are reasons why I shouldn't, right? They're, they're fears that I have. I don't know about you, Lee, but I built those fears up from what would have been like a, a lean to at a camp or a tent into like, you know, the Empire State Building, they became larger than life, which became the wall that kept me to play small.

Lee Zuniss: Yes.

Mike Forrester: Um, and as I did stuff, I found out they weren't. It was just like, you know, we'll see in the cartoons, you know, a light against a mouse, but the mouse looks gigantic.

Lee Zuniss: Right. Yes. Uh-huh.

Mike Forrester: Um, did you, okay, so did you find that things that you thought about those fears that you had were larger than life, but when you took action, they were actually manageable and much less than you anticipated. Was that something you found as well?

Lee Zuniss: Quite [: 00:43:00

Mike Forrester: Yeah. And, and once we let those go by the wayside, it's almost like you, uh, you know, have nitrous oxide or you got rid of a lot of stuff. You're not driving a moving van, now you're in a, a Maserati or something, you know? It, it changes the way you get to play on stuff.

fidence, clarity, love. Yeah.[: 00:47:00

Mike Forrester: Yeah. And there's peace about it.

Lee Zuniss: Peace.

Mike Forrester: You don't have that uneasiness, that, that feeling of anxiety, like you had gone through before. Um, dude, Lee, there is so much to unpack around all of this because of the change that's gone on, um, and yeah, and you know, if it's, it's one of those that, uh, you know, you're still stuck with beliefs that, Hey, I can't change, dude. I feel like you, you're almost like, you know, the, the poster man, right? Where it's like, no, you don't have to be where you were. The things that limited you, are only limiting as long as you accept them and buy into them. And you're the one that gets to vote on this. So.

Lee Zuniss: Yes. No, I, we, when you, and when we say we are the one that gets the vote on it, it's, it's our self, our, our, our, our, that inner leader, that's who gets to vote on it. Yeah.

Mike Forrester: [: 00:48:00

Lee Zuniss: Yes.

Mike Forrester: A hundred percent, man. Well, Lee, how can men get in touch with you outside of the podcast here today?

nyone that wants to feel and [: 00:49:00

Mike Forrester: Well, Lee, man, I appreciate that. It is super generous of you to put that offer out there and, you know, it's oftentimes that first step that is the hardest to make. So thank you for, for putting that offer out there to like, see, Hey, what can, what can Lee help to provide insight into of what I'm experiencing and bringing about change. Dude, thank you again, Lee, for, for sharing like the experiences you've gone through, how we can transition. And, uh, again, like we talked about, we're the ones that get to make that decision. So thank you, my friend. I appreciate it.

Lee Zuniss: Oh, my God. It is my honor and my pleasure to be, yeah. Listen, we could have got, I could go on for hours talking to you.

Mike Forrester: I know that's where I was like, Lee, we have just scratched the surface, man.

Lee Zuniss: Yes.

Mike Forrester: [: 00:50:00

Lee Zuniss: Thank you, Mike. I appreciate you very much.

Mike Forrester: Likewise, buddy.