Episode 320

The Disastrous Impact Of Emotional Spending in Personal Finance with MIlad Rahnama

Published on: 30th July, 2024

Getting served custody papers can be the moment a divorced dad finally decides to change. Two years ago, my guest Milad Rahnama was in the worst shape of his life. He was going through a divorce, fighting depression, and having anxiety attacks every day. He was $150,000 in debt, and friends had stopped answering his calls. He was drinking, smoking, and leaning on other addictions. Milad owns all of it and says his habits put him there. Then his ex-wife filed for full custody of their kids. Instead of reacting in anger, he booked a quiet weekend alone in a chalet to think. He watched other divorced friends shrug off seeing their kids twice a week. His heart told him to fight. His first lawyer said he had no chance, so he dropped her. With seven days to respond, he found a new lawyer who met him on a snowy Sunday. Milad won 50 percent custody, and he credits God for that turn.

Milad rebuilt his life by removing things first. He quit drinking, quit cigarettes, and walked away from his other addictions. His first goal was getting his energy back. As he cleaned up his habits, his anxiety and depression began to lift. He tells Mike Forrester that life is a mirror, and the outside starts to match the work you do inside. Some old friends pushed back and said he wasn't fun anymore. Milad held his ground and found new friends through church and the self development community. He has one rule for advice. Look at a man's life first, and only follow him if you want to end up there. He paid a fitness coach $5,000, and at 41 he's in the best shape of his life.

The money turnaround began with pen and paper. Milad works as a wealth advisor, and his own debt still taught him something new. Budgets fail, he says, because money is emotional. He reviews his transaction history to find patterns like restaurants, clothes, or electronics. Then he builds a system around that spending instead of cutting out everything he loves. He also warns about credit card habits that make debt feel normal. Mike admits he and his wife once spent back and forth to justify each other's purchases. Mike teaches men to quit trying to fix themselves by themselves, and Milad's turnaround came through coaches, mentors, and new friends. Today he lives in a home with a pool near his ex-wife, and they share dinners with the kids. Divorced, separated, or barely holding on, a dad can still decide his kids are worth fighting for. Milad started with one quiet weekend and an honest look in the mirror.

What You'll Learn In This Episode:

  • Recognize how small habits like weekend drinking, smoking, and junk food add up until your life blows up.
  • Understand why getting your energy back comes first when depression, anxiety, and debt hit at the same time.
  • Use Milad's rule for advice: look at a man's life before you follow what he tells you.
  • See how Milad fought for 50/50 custody when his first lawyer told him he had no chance.
  • Spot your emotional spending by reviewing your transaction history, then build a system you and your wife or partner can both follow.
  • Learn why credit card habits keep you stuck, and how investing in yourself pays off at home and at work.

The key moments in this episode are:

00:03:48 - how divorce, debt, and anxiety hit all at once

00:06:40 - how small bad habits add up until life blows up

00:10:32 - what to do when you're served custody papers

00:12:22 - fighting for your kids when the odds are against you

00:17:20 - why you should only take advice from men living the life you want

00:20:55 - why getting your energy back comes first

00:22:37 - what happens with old friends when you stop drinking

00:28:11 - how to start paying down debt after divorce

00:29:05 - why budgets fail when spending is emotional

00:34:16 - how to spot your emotional spending

00:38:05 - why credit card habits keep you trapped in debt

00:41:33 - the best investments you can make in yourself

Connect with Milad Rahnama

Website

https://www.raremovement.ca/

Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/alpha_fitnessdad/

Connect with Mike Forrester

Podcast Website

https://LivingFearlessTodayPodcast.com

Coaching Website

https://www.hicoachmike.com/

LinkedIn

https://www.linkedin.com/in/hicoachmike/

Youtube

https://www.youtube.com/@hicoachmike

Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/hicoachmike

Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/hicoachmike

Transcript
[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

[:

Next Episode All Episodes Previous Episode

Listen for free

Show artwork for Living Fearless Today

About the Podcast

Living Fearless Today
Helping men break generational cycles, heal the father wound, and become a better husband and dad.
You swore you'd be a different kind of father than the one who raised you. Then one day you caught his words and tone coming out of your mouth. You felt the same distance creep in at home, and wondered how much of him you're still carrying despite the promise you made to yourself.

Living Fearless Today is a podcast for men who are done repeating the patterns they grew up with. Host Mike Forrester has stood where you're standing. Every week he brings honest conversations and practical tools for the parts of a man's life that rarely get said out loud: the father wound you never named, the anger that shows up with the people you love most, the marriage that's gone quiet, and the man you still want to become.

The show helps you understand the past that shaped you. Then you take an honest look at where you stand today as a husband, a father, and a man. From there you start building the future you actually want, one choice at a time, instead of drifting into the one you were handed and currently living out.

Episodes cover identity, anger, shame, marriage and fatherhood, relationships, self-worth, courage, emotional intelligence, legacy and purpose, and the brotherhood that the vast majority of men are missing. If you've looked for how to break generational cycles, face a father wound, handle anger as a dad, or become a better husband and father, start here.

The cycle can end with you. Press play and take the first step toward becoming the man you needed when you were young.

About your host

Profile picture for Mike Forrester

Mike Forrester

Mike Forrester is a men's transformation coach, founder of the Living Fearless coaching programs, and host of the Living Fearless Today podcast. His insights, methods and stories of overcoming childhood trauma, dyslexia and loss of loved ones have been featured on various podcasts, including Hanging Onto Hope, Extreme Health, Own Your Life Own Your Career and Think Unbroken.