Episode 393
Secrets for Getting Unstuck and Boosting Your Discipline with Dan Storey
Are you tired of feeling stuck in life, constantly battling self doubt and negative thoughts? In this episode, we hear from Dan Storey, who has overcome numerous challenges to elevate his personal development and take second in the Masters category in the Natural Olympia bodybuilding competition. Dan reveals surprising insights and strategies for overcoming imposter syndrome and developing resilience. He also talks about the power of showing kindness to yourself and the surprising impact self compassion has on your path to success.
Dan shares his journey from a "dadbod" to winning silver at the Natural Olympia, demonstrating the power of consistency and dedication. He shares about keeping our commitments to ourselves, showing up and making progress, even on the toughest days. Dan reveals the mental battles he faced along the way, including imposter syndrome and self doubt, and how he pushed through these obstacles to reach his goals. He ties it all together in sharing how his physical fitness correlates to his mental wellbeing.
In this episode, you will be able to:
- Tap into your inner confidence and overcome imposter syndrome with proven strategies.
- Discover the surprising benefits of maintaining a disciplined fitness routine for your mind and body.
- Master the art of transitioning careers with confidence and a fresh perspective.
- Experience personal transformation through the empowering journey of bodybuilding.
- Uncover effective strategies for staying motivated and boosting productivity in your daily life.
The key moments in this episode are:
00:07:00 - Removing Self Doubt
00:12:04 - Overcoming Excuses and Building Discipline
00:23:40 - Consistent Discipline Equals Success
00:27:19 - Handling Tough Days
00:31:42 - The Power of Self Compassion
00:42:49 - Letting Go of Ego and Embracing Change
00:46:12 - Setting Vision and Goals
00:50:15 - Overcoming Self-Doubt and Imposter Syndrome
Connect with Dan Storey
Website
https://www.instagram.com/danstorey
www.linkedin.com/in/danstorey14
Connect with Mike Forrester
Podcast Website
https://LivingFearlessTodayPodcast.com
Coaching Website
https://www.linkedin.com/in/hicoachmike/
Youtube
https://www.youtube.com/@hicoachmike
https://www.facebook.com/hicoachmike
https://www.instagram.com/hicoachmike
Transcript
Well, hello and welcome back, my friend, man, this week, Dan Storey is
Speaker:joining me and Dan just recently, um, was competing in the natural Olympia.
Speaker:So, I mean, he's working super hard, not just, you know, taking the shortcuts.
Speaker:There are no shortcuts, right?
Speaker:And he took silver.
Speaker:And I want for you to consider like the crowd he's going against the
Speaker:people he's going against to push through that and accomplish that
Speaker:it's a huge thing to achieve that.
Speaker:And Dan has worked endless hours and put in a huge amount of energy and effort.
Speaker:It's not like one of those that Dan's just like, Hey, I came
Speaker:by the body naturally, right?
Speaker:Dan is just like many men, myself included, coming with a dad bod, but
Speaker:he put in the effort and committed to himself and the plan of how
Speaker:to get out and achieve his goals.
Speaker:And this is just one of the goals, one of the challenges that he faced,
Speaker:you know, so we're going to jump into those really looking forward to it.
Speaker:Dan, how are you doing today, my friend?
Speaker:I'm doing good.
Speaker:Thanks, Mike.
Speaker:Yeah, um, the competition was a few weeks ago, so I've been, uh, enjoying
Speaker:myself coming a little bit off the other guy who was so intense there.
Speaker:That guy was a few weeks ago.
Speaker:Now it's slightly chilled out holiday mode down.
Speaker:Well, Dan, let's jump in.
Speaker:As far as today, what does life look like for you?
Speaker:Professionally?
Speaker:So right now, here's the interesting situation.
Speaker:I'm actually doing two things.
Speaker:Number one, I'm being unemployed, which is a very uncomfortable place.
Speaker:So I've just moved from Europe to New York, and I'm still here sitting, waiting
Speaker:for a social security number to come through so I can actually do some work.
Speaker:Um, thank you, US government.
Speaker:I know it's on the way.
Speaker:It's in the mail.
Speaker:Uh, so just keep your fingers crossed for me.
Speaker:The second thing is I'm, and we're going to talk about imposter syndrome as I'm
Speaker:growing my, my brand as a writer and an author and a coach and a speaker.
Speaker:And that's where the long term journey is.
Speaker:That's where the vision is and kind of where I've had the realization
Speaker:of where I want to spend my time.
Speaker:I used to be a sales trainer.
Speaker:I used to work in kind of corporate and send emails to people to go and do things.
Speaker:You know, when you get good at things, you do less of it.
Speaker:It's crazy.
Speaker:So I used to be a really good trainer and teacher of salespeople
Speaker:and got promoted and promoted.
Speaker:And then I just send emails to other people to go and do that.
Speaker:And I realized that that wasn't.
Speaker:Terribly fun or the space I wanted to be in.
Speaker:Um, and so right now I'm working really, really hard to write a second book, um,
Speaker:which is coming out early next year.
Speaker:I am, uh, building myself as a speaker and actively outreaching to organizations to.
Speaker:Have me speak and tell stories about mental toughness and first bits and
Speaker:pieces, um, and ultimately doing that through podcasting as well.
Speaker:So thanks for having me on the show and helping me fulfill my dreams.
Speaker:Absolutely.
Speaker:Well, when, when I looked at your story and we were kind of going back and forth
Speaker:and messaging, I was like, dude, Dan.
Speaker:I get where you're, you know, where you've come from and where you're headed
Speaker:to and in helping people elevate, figure out like, Hey, can I get somewhere else?
Speaker:What's holding me back?
Speaker:You know, the, the hurdles that we all face that are also, you know, all
Speaker:too common, but when we're not talking about it, we think it's just us.
Speaker:And so, you know, being on a similar.
Speaker:Passion and mission.
Speaker:I was like, dude, let's, let's have a conversation.
Speaker:So
Speaker:we've got to talk about everyone's feeling the same thing.
Speaker:And unless we say it, people think everything's perfect and shiny and
Speaker:it's not, it's absolutely a mess.
Speaker:And, uh, everyone does.
Speaker:We try and act all cool.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And it's, it's, uh, I think upstairs, the conversation is very similar
Speaker:as well, where it's like, you know, if, if people only knew who I really
Speaker:am and those fears just, man, they take root and, and, uh, paint.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:A reality, but it's fake.
Speaker:It's just smoke and mirrors dressed up in, you know, a negative manner
Speaker:versus where, you know, like you, you're, um, I think certified in NLP.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:Um, you know, it's like the positive words that we speak paint a. You
Speaker:know, a holistic or a healthy kind of image and path, whereas our thoughts,
Speaker:man, when we're working from self doubt and low self esteem and low
Speaker:self worth, dude, it gets dark.
Speaker:So, but nobody else sees those, do they?
Speaker:It's almost like watching TV in private.
Speaker:And it happens all the time.
Speaker:More more common than people would realize and to people who are more
Speaker:successful than we think we think they've got their stuff figured out
Speaker:they're just like us man nobody sees behind the behind the curtain dude
Speaker:so you you've made the move i get that's you know kind of the personal
Speaker:side anything else going on the personal side of life for you today
Speaker:so yeah so on the personal side it's it's weird when you take away a goal
Speaker:of competition what you get left with.
Speaker:And so there's a big space, uh, for not having a deadline or a date or some
Speaker:reason to wake up and weigh yourself and do all those kinds of things.
Speaker:Um, but the personal thing is, is really, it's my creative space and stepping into
Speaker:this identity that I've got for myself.
Speaker:So I'm actively writing as much as I can every single day and
Speaker:having conversations and talking about this principle of unstuck.
Speaker:So the next book is called unstuck.
Speaker:This year's book was personal transformation blueprint, which
Speaker:talks about the psychology of kind of changing things.
Speaker:But unstuck really looks at this first point, which is how do we
Speaker:get stuck in the first place?
Speaker:And, you know, my background, like you say, neuro linguistic programming, I
Speaker:have a master's degree in psychology, I have a licensed practitioner and
Speaker:mental toughness and all these things.
Speaker:I still doubt my credentials to talk about any of this psychology.
Speaker:We'll get over this idea that our psychology gets us stuck, but we
Speaker:also need to use our psychology to unstuck us, if that makes sense.
Speaker:And it's this kind of paradox and like playful space that I'm kind of
Speaker:really enjoying writing about, but also experiencing it on a day to day basis for
Speaker:myself, um, as I try and create or get unstuck from certain situations in life.
Speaker:And I've done it.
Speaker:I've done a couple of times as elements where I'm still trying to figure it out.
Speaker:And, uh, it's a journey, right?
Speaker:But I figure if, if we can unpack some of these elements as we go through
Speaker:them, and like you said beforehand, is we're always trying to figure
Speaker:ourselves out first and help others.
Speaker:Um, the clearer I can get on that, then the more I can help people
Speaker:and the better writer I'll become.
Speaker:And, and what you said there was so powerful, Dan, and that it's like, you're
Speaker:still working on, you know, getting unstuck and, and changing the thought
Speaker:process of like those kind of knee jerk.
Speaker:Uh, thought processes that come in, like, do you attack it differently or does it
Speaker:affect you like for a shorter period of time now that you've gone through kind
Speaker:of the reps over the years going, you know, from, um, being unsatisfied with
Speaker:your work to, to where you are now, you know, like having the silver medal from.
Speaker:Uh, the natural olympia
Speaker:says it's contextual, this is just remember that is some areas.
Speaker:I think we're really good and we can do things very comfortably and other areas.
Speaker:We're not so good.
Speaker:The areas where we get it typically the areas where we've had success in the past
Speaker:and like we, we have reference points.
Speaker:This is who I am.
Speaker:This is how I know I'm good.
Speaker:I'm good at these things, but this is not always the areas we want to stay in.
Speaker:And yet we feel comfortable there when we try and go to other areas.
Speaker:I don't feel as comfortable over there, but I know I need to go there
Speaker:because that's where the growth is.
Speaker:But it's terrifying.
Speaker:So for example, like I feel comfortable in gym, if I put too much weight on
Speaker:a machine, like I did the other day, say, Hey, can you help me with this?
Speaker:Like I did leg press don't do that, but I did it and I failed.
Speaker:Like I literally got squished under the legs, but I, you know, safely and
Speaker:I had to get off and I was humble and humility, you know, it was that kind
Speaker:of thing, but I just too much weight.
Speaker:And, you know, I got stuck even with somebody trying to help me, but I didn't,
Speaker:I didn't feel bad in that situation.
Speaker:I just laughed off, skipped to the next music, took the weights down a little bit.
Speaker:But then in a different space, so yesterday I was also doing some kind
Speaker:of outreach work as a speaker and I've got this really, this, this kind of
Speaker:powerful message around being unstuck and how people get stuck and how we
Speaker:can use mental toughness and resilience and discipline, all things I've had to
Speaker:use as a bodybuilder to get unstuck.
Speaker:And I look at conference, I'm like, I want to go and speak at this conference, I have
Speaker:a look at it and I'm like, immediately.
Speaker:The, the voice comes to see it, but Dan, why, why would they want to listen to you?
Speaker:What, what have you ever done?
Speaker:Why would, why would you be a good speaker?
Speaker:Don't message them like that.
Speaker:They probably want much better speakers than you.
Speaker:And like that voice is so loud.
Speaker:It's so clear.
Speaker:It doesn't hesitate.
Speaker:It doesn't pause.
Speaker:It doesn't have any ums.
Speaker:It doesn't have any filler words.
Speaker:And it knows the exact buttons to press.
Speaker:This is, this is the best thing about that voice.
Speaker:It knows the exact things to press on inside your head to
Speaker:get you to hold, hold back.
Speaker:And so you just have to do it.
Speaker:And this thing you have to act as if you almost have to say, right,
Speaker:okay, well, actually I do have these elements and these are, you know, you
Speaker:almost have this like debate, um, and remember why you're strong and why,
Speaker:you know, you may not be the best.
Speaker:And this is, you know, this is one of the things that I heard
Speaker:this year is there's no unique message, only a unique messenger.
Speaker:And so I say the same things as a lot of people, but I
Speaker:just say it in different ways.
Speaker:And sometimes that lands, so it's being confident in what we do bring to the
Speaker:table, not all the things that we don't.
Speaker:So when that voice pops up, you're in essence looking for, um, reasons
Speaker:or, or like cases like proof of, no, that's, that's not accurate
Speaker:and almost building like kind of acting like a lawyer, I guess, to
Speaker:build a case against that statement.
Speaker:Is that correct?
Speaker:And then you're, you're moving through it regardless.
Speaker:Correct.
Speaker:I had a conversation.
Speaker:There's two ways you can think about it.
Speaker:Number one, you have to have the process.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:Okay, you have to have to process the steps, other steps, like in the gym, if I
Speaker:go to the gym, whether I feel good, tired, energetic, I've got pre work, I've had
Speaker:a good night's sleep, bad night's sleep, food, whatever it is, like I have to go,
Speaker:I have to do the things, so I know because it's written down, like my coach, do
Speaker:these things, okay, I'll do these things, when it comes to the speaking business,
Speaker:I know what I need to do, okay, I have the step, but the voice still kicks in,
Speaker:and so here's the thing, I still need to do the things, I still need to do things.
Speaker:So that's, that's the question is, do I do the thing?
Speaker:I had a conversation with a friend and kind of colleague of mine the other day.
Speaker:And he's, he's a manager and he manages salespeople and he's doing this.
Speaker:And I want him to think this, I want him to want to do this thing.
Speaker:I'm like, do you need him to want to do it or do you just want him to do it?
Speaker:And he was like, well, I guess I just want him to do it.
Speaker:I'm like, cool.
Speaker:Let's just go with that then.
Speaker:And so, so I do stuff, whether I want to do it or not.
Speaker:It's not about one, it's not about motivation.
Speaker:It's disciplines showing up and doing those things.
Speaker:And sometimes it feels natural and you can be confident.
Speaker:Sometimes it feels terrible and you're tired and you doubt yourself.
Speaker:But you just do it and one thing that I learned, especially in, in the, uh,
Speaker:the lifting space, and this is, I think in every context is when people look
Speaker:at you as a bodybuilder, I think, oh, you must work out so well, every single
Speaker:time, like, you know, you know, training real hard and all of these things.
Speaker:And I think there's a rule of thirds applies is one third
Speaker:of my workouts are brilliant.
Speaker:I kind of love those workouts, you know, when you wake up,
Speaker:the coffees are all good.
Speaker:You've got some, like some nice treats that you can eat.
Speaker:This is typically not in diet phase, just so you know, uh, you've got
Speaker:some nice sugary food you can have before and so you're super energized.
Speaker:You go in, it's your favorite workout day, I love this work,
Speaker:I'm going to go and do it.
Speaker:So yeah, one third of your workouts are like that.
Speaker:One third are, well, they're okay.
Speaker:You know, they go in, you do the work, and you feel pretty good,
Speaker:and you get some stuff done.
Speaker:You don't hit your best weights and all those kind of things, but you do okay.
Speaker:And then one third are an absolute slog.
Speaker:One third of those workouts feel terrible.
Speaker:And even before you go to the gym, you know it's going to be a bad day.
Speaker:You know it's going to be a bad day at the work.
Speaker:And you know i just want to go and that's when the excuses kick in and oh what do
Speaker:you just have a rest today take it easy you don't need to do you did yesterday
Speaker:and do twice as much tomorrow and this is this is where it gets paid for it's
Speaker:like it sounds like such a good idea it's so logically smart and yet you can't let
Speaker:it win you just gotta say i'm gonna go.
Speaker:And so this is the difference.
Speaker:Motivation comes and goes.
Speaker:It's up and down, but discipline showing up and doing the work.
Speaker:And even if I do 70 percent or 80 percent like, even if it's that small of an output
Speaker:consistently over time, that wins always.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And I think the other thing is you're building trust and confidence in
Speaker:yourself by keeping your word, right?
Speaker:You're showing up for yourself.
Speaker:Um, even when you don't feel like it.
Speaker:So, um, it's not.
Speaker:It's not just a, um, you know, like we're talking about the workout, it's not just
Speaker:getting the reps, but it's also, um, being trustworthy to yourself and knowing that,
Speaker:hey, I can depend on what I say I'm going to do and I know it's going to get done.
Speaker:Um, I think that's something that's the biggest
Speaker:question mark I had.
Speaker:When I, when I first started bodybuilding.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:So I've always trained.
Speaker:I've always gone to the gym.
Speaker:And, uh, you know, we joked about this earlier.
Speaker:I used to be a, uh, an American football player.
Speaker:I played quarterback for a very long time.
Speaker:Uh, as a Brit, that's uncommon.
Speaker:And, uh, I'm not saying I was very good.
Speaker:I just said I play.
Speaker:Um, but I, I really enjoyed it.
Speaker:But I used the gym as like a training aid and, you know, just to, to support my
Speaker:output from a, Playing perspective, but when you come to bodybuilding, there's
Speaker:so many other areas and the biggest areas, the kitchen and diet, and, you
Speaker:know, I knew what to do and I used to, you know, study nutrition and teach
Speaker:it a little bit, so I knew what to do, but the question was, could I do it?
Speaker:Could I keep going at the intensity, put the focus in and, and really follow
Speaker:through and do everything I need to do for the period of time I need to do it.
Speaker:I had no idea, I hadn't tested myself to that point I had no idea.
Speaker:That was the biggest question mark over whether I would be able to be a
Speaker:bodybuilder was did I have the discipline?
Speaker:I knew I had the intensity, I knew I could kind of do some of the work and
Speaker:like really put it in when it counted.
Speaker:But could I do all those tiny little bits and pieces around it
Speaker:that, that made the difference?
Speaker:and now you've proven that you can do that.
Speaker:So it's one of those, if you have that in your tool belt,
Speaker:which you didn't have before.
Speaker:So, well, let's go back.
Speaker:Dan, you just talked about doing football and, um, dude, one of the
Speaker:things that happened for you was that you had some knee problems and do that.
Speaker:That is not something any of us want to happen or expect.
Speaker:It's almost like, Hey, um, I'm working in corporate and you get that layoff, right?
Speaker:It's not something you expect.
Speaker:It's not something you want, but it's occurred.
Speaker:It's a reality.
Speaker:A lot of times when, you know, the, the knee gives out or a body part gives out
Speaker:or we lose that job, a part of our, our identity kind of gets set off to the side.
Speaker:And it's like, well, now who am I?
Speaker:Is that something that you went through when your knee, um, you know, was having
Speaker:problems and then how did you, get back up and say, Hey, I'm, I'm moving on.
Speaker:I'm, I'm going on.
Speaker:This is, I'm Dan Storey, you know, and, uh, go on to your next challenge.
Speaker:So the knee injury happened this year, uh, the beginning of this year.
Speaker:And here was the plan.
Speaker:Here was the plan.
Speaker:Last year I competed at the top level in the UK.
Speaker:And this year, the plan was to go to the European Championships, and there was
Speaker:an event in May that I wanted to win, so I don't know if that's arrogance or
Speaker:confidence or just goal or whatever.
Speaker:Um, but you know, people say, oh, you've got a chance, you can do it.
Speaker:I, at the time, I was playing kind of five a side football in
Speaker:the evenings on Sundays, and I remember going into one game.
Speaker:It's a Sunday evening, all right, and so I'm going to play with the
Speaker:lads on a Sunday evening, and the ball's in the middle, and we both
Speaker:go to kick it at the same time.
Speaker:I'm playing on a Sunday evening.
Speaker:This other guy's playing in the World Cup final.
Speaker:Uh, and he just goes in an intensity that my leg was not expecting.
Speaker:My knee just went bonk and bent in a way that it shouldn't bend.
Speaker:So technical term is a medial collateral ligament strain.
Speaker:Uh, I got up and tried to hop around and tried to keep the ball
Speaker:again and fell over immediately.
Speaker:And I realized something wasn't going to let me play that rest of the evening.
Speaker:Did the whole thing, go home, Google things.
Speaker:Oh, it should be fine.
Speaker:Be okay in a week or two.
Speaker:It's like you say, I'm Dan's story.
Speaker:What's the worst that can happen?
Speaker:Um, and turns out it wasn't.
Speaker:Fine in a couple of weeks, I could walk, but I couldn't train legs.
Speaker:I couldn't do cardio.
Speaker:And this was three weeks before the competition that qualified
Speaker:me for the European championship.
Speaker:And so imagine that, imagine like you just before my, my coach, my
Speaker:brother told me, don't do that.
Speaker:Are you going to get injured?
Speaker:I'm like, no, I'll be fine.
Speaker:Um, and I wasn't, I was wrong.
Speaker:So.
Speaker:And I came second in that show, which meant I didn't go
Speaker:to the European championships.
Speaker:I didn't qualify and it wasn't, it wasn't too far away.
Speaker:It was close.
Speaker:And had I had that ability for that, those fast, those last three
Speaker:weeks to put in the intensity that I wanted to, I would have won.
Speaker:These are the questions that go in your head.
Speaker:What happens if you don't do this?
Speaker:What happens if you don't?
Speaker:Why didn't you?
Speaker:All these things come into my head.
Speaker:And I remember being very disappointed to come out of that show.
Speaker:And I had a, I had a couple of days of training in the Netherlands.
Speaker:So, you know, I go off and I do some freelance training and still
Speaker:work with sales people and help them figure out their stuff.
Speaker:And when you do these kinds of conferences and corporate trainings, you're in there
Speaker:and there's always snacks on the table.
Speaker:And my favorite snack in the world is the day at the Dutch
Speaker:tree, a straw waffles, like syrup.
Speaker:And I just.
Speaker:There was something in my head that wasn't happy and I just remember just
Speaker:eating a far too many of those things and normally after a show, you try and they
Speaker:call it reverse diet and be a little bit sensible, not put on too much weight.
Speaker:I was just like, forget all that stuff.
Speaker:I wasn't happy and I, I could, I could feel myself just.
Speaker:Binging and just doing things out of anger and frustration and just pure,
Speaker:you know, you don't like yourself.
Speaker:It was like that.
Speaker:It was, you know, you just dieted for ages and I'm just going to revenge myself.
Speaker:Um, and I was really taken back.
Speaker:It took me a lot longer for it to heal and for the pain to go
Speaker:away weeks and weeks and weeks.
Speaker:And I was like, this is supposed to be a one to two week thing.
Speaker:Like, why is it still hurting?
Speaker:You know, didn't go to doctors.
Speaker:Why would you do that?
Speaker:And I'm mad to deal with it, figure out yourself.
Speaker:I was like, you know what, this, this, just because he didn't, and oh, and
Speaker:the guy who won the tournament didn't even go to the European championships
Speaker:and I don't want to do that.
Speaker:I'm like, come on, like you just, all of these things just took my dream away.
Speaker:And I was like, what the heck is out there?
Speaker:And actually then at that time we moved to the U S and so I had that
Speaker:thrown up in the air and like, now do I compete and what do I do?
Speaker:And there was a competition in September, October.
Speaker:And it's kind of like a bank, I could almost get back into shape for
Speaker:that after all those straw waffles.
Speaker:And I said to myself, if I'm going to do it, you need to fix this knee
Speaker:because it's not going to work.
Speaker:You can't do it.
Speaker:You've got to fix the knee.
Speaker:that was one of the things I had to do.
Speaker:I had to actively tackle that as a, as a weakness and say, if you're going
Speaker:to carry on, like if you're going to do it, you've got to address that.
Speaker:You've got to look straight at it and say, that's messed up.
Speaker:I go and fix it, you know, and this, this is not just in life, right?
Speaker:It's like in the past when you're your money, you can't go
Speaker:and do all these other things.
Speaker:And this, I saw that you got to look at something and just call it what it is.
Speaker:So it's not too bad.
Speaker:It's not too bad.
Speaker:No, it's broken.
Speaker:Like go and fix it.
Speaker:Don't fix it before you, because otherwise he's going to hold
Speaker:yourself back in this area.
Speaker:So.
Speaker:Actually actively went after my knee and took that as like, how can we make this?
Speaker:And it's like bionic nail, like the terminator of knees.
Speaker:How can you do that?
Speaker:And actually this morning I went and did the exact same workout,
Speaker:which is one legged like lunges followed by BOSU single leg squats.
Speaker:Like, so you're wobbling all over the place.
Speaker:That's what I need.
Speaker:I need to control.
Speaker:So now my knee is incredible, like super strong.
Speaker:Um, and I played football, actually went to the same guys.
Speaker:Just a couple of weeks ago, I was saying guys, and the other
Speaker:guy was there only kicked me.
Speaker:I definitely stayed away from him a little bit, but it was the first time I saw him.
Speaker:Yeah, everything was working and it felt good.
Speaker:So, but it's that kind of idea.
Speaker:You, you could let it be.
Speaker:I could have easily have gone.
Speaker:It's not for me.
Speaker:And I could have quit and I could have given up and I could have used that
Speaker:as an excuse and moving to the U. S. as an excuse and moving this is using
Speaker:kids going to school as an excuse.
Speaker:There could have been so many excuses.
Speaker:Like so many don't want to keep making excuses
Speaker:on that makes me think of like how you got on this path where
Speaker:you were like, um, you know.
Speaker:Kind of got to the point of, um, Hey, I'm, I'm talking fitness, but I'm rocking a dad
Speaker:bod and kind of that disassociation, you know, they're not aligning and deciding,
Speaker:Hey, me, they're going to walk this and talk this, you know, or walk the talk,
Speaker:um, and actually follow through with it.
Speaker:what was it that.
Speaker:Gave you the focus, the commitment to say, no, I'm going to, to leave this dad
Speaker:bod behind and I'm gonna go after what I know I can be, but I'm not fulfilling.
Speaker:I'm gonna quit being average.
Speaker:So I think the, the, I'd say the bodybuilding is the first, uh,
Speaker:the second one is the career and there's probably other ones and.
Speaker:Things that I need to figure out as we move forwards, but the body is the
Speaker:easiest one to figure out and, and fix because it doesn't need anybody else.
Speaker:I mean, I have a coach, I have coaches and stuff.
Speaker:People help me for sure.
Speaker:But, you know, there's, there's no arguing with the food that you put into your body.
Speaker:There's no arguing with the weights you lift to the gym.
Speaker:Gravity is fairly consistent, you know, wherever you go.
Speaker:And so the weights might feel heavier on one day than the
Speaker:others, but it really does not.
Speaker:And so, you know, the, the work you do, it's, it's.
Speaker:It's all down to you, so I think there's an element if we're looking
Speaker:to change something that is easiest by tackling a goal that doesn't require
Speaker:anybody else, like, you know, we were talking, you're going to do your
Speaker:first, uh, sprint triathlon soon.
Speaker:That's going to be awesome, but the distance is not going to change.
Speaker:Was it like a five K five K, but I was like a. 800 meters swim,
Speaker:5k bike or 20k bike, 5k run.
Speaker:Something like that, right?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:It's like 500 meters.
Speaker:I know it's a 5k run.
Speaker:Gravity is going to be consistent.
Speaker:You might have a bit of wind on the bike or something just to,
Speaker:just to be a little bit annoying.
Speaker:Um, but the water doesn't get any wetter, you know, it's, it's that kind of thing.
Speaker:And so you just need to do the work that's going to get you around.
Speaker:It's like, it doesn't matter when it comes to career.
Speaker:And when it comes to things like that, there's a few more moving parts.
Speaker:So if we try and tackle that as the beginning one, then
Speaker:we can often get beaten.
Speaker:So I, like we talked about their discipline.
Speaker:I figured I have the ability to be disciplined and I have it all the time.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:I've had chocolate today.
Speaker:Remember, it's like off season.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:But I know that at some point I can say no chocolate or no this, and I can do that.
Speaker:Now I have to apply that same.
Speaker:Discipline and consistency in my work in the transition for work.
Speaker:Okay, so I have to consistently wake up every single day.
Speaker:I go to gym and I have to consistently write.
Speaker:If I don't write, if I don't write words on type, typewriter, how old am I?
Speaker:The typewriter, but you know, if I don't do that every single day, then what's
Speaker:going to happen if I'm building my business, if I don't do my prospecting,
Speaker:my sales calls, then I'm never going to get any clients and whether I feel like
Speaker:it or not, I have to do that volume and it's not going to make a difference today.
Speaker:It's the same in the gym, right?
Speaker:The workout that I do in the gym that day makes no difference.
Speaker:If I go and look in the mirror at the end of this thing, I'll send a photo to
Speaker:my coach and say, Hey, here's how I look today, which is the cringy, awful, awful
Speaker:things you have to do as a bodybuilder.
Speaker:It doesn't matter how good that workout was.
Speaker:It doesn't show up.
Speaker:So when i write words or when i make calls or when i do prospecting emails
Speaker:or something like that nothing happens i look like the same business like the
Speaker:same body all of those things at the end of the day it's not until a month
Speaker:two months three months that come like that's when the results show up so
Speaker:i can do like before after pictures.
Speaker:Yeah, I can see the big difference, but day to day, it doesn't look like anything.
Speaker:And this is where, like I said, motivation will fade immediately.
Speaker:If you say, Oh, I look the same as yesterday, it's like, that
Speaker:can be really demotivating.
Speaker:But if you do, and I call it a grandparent effect, like you
Speaker:should go and see your nan.
Speaker:Oh, you've grown the same size as I was yesterday.
Speaker:And it's like, that is, that is the kind of contrast we need to do.
Speaker:And the way, the best way to do that is having some form of metric.
Speaker:Having some form of number or output or indicator, leading indicator that you can
Speaker:control that tells you if you're on track.
Speaker:So in, in, you know, when I think about diet, I can control calories.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And I control how much protein I'm taking.
Speaker:When I'm writing, I can say, right, I'm gonna put this many words out.
Speaker:Whether they're good words or not, doesn't matter if take all of third, um.
Speaker:I don't stay three and a bit, you know, when it comes to
Speaker:sales, it's, this is my output.
Speaker:When I'm marketing, this is my, as long as I do those things, whether I
Speaker:feel like it or not, then I'm okay.
Speaker:Um, and that, and then you just focus on that and that is discipline.
Speaker:That is just making sure you're on track and following
Speaker:through whether you feel like.
Speaker:Yeah, and there's gonna be those days, you know, like you're talking,
Speaker:you talked about earlier, not, not wanting to go to the gym.
Speaker:There's going to be those days.
Speaker:Hey, I don't want to show up for myself.
Speaker:I don't want to show up at work.
Speaker:You know, if I'm a dad and I don't want to show up for my kids, I don't want
Speaker:to deal with the little gremlins, you know, my wife, oh my gosh, is she gonna,
Speaker:you know, nag me about something else?
Speaker:I don't want to show up that investment, whatever role or
Speaker:capacity it's in, you It's still an investment that moves that forward.
Speaker:Um, and I think we, we don't get enough credit and so we, we listened to the voice
Speaker:that says, Hey, you had chocolate, you know, yesterday, one more day won't hurt.
Speaker:Well, the problem is we get three weeks into it.
Speaker:It's like chocolate every day is going to have that impact.
Speaker:It's a negative investment, right?
Speaker:I talk about in my book this year, I talk about this concept of separation
Speaker:days and separation days of those days when they're really difficult and like
Speaker:you, uh, you wake up, there's no coffee.
Speaker:I have to have like a lot of coffee just to function.
Speaker:I think I just, I like it.
Speaker:But also, you know, there's just days where you feel tired and, you know,
Speaker:I'm just, I typically, for reference, I wake up at five o'clock in the
Speaker:morning, I'm in the gym at five 30, because when I get home, like daddy
Speaker:duty starts in the real world stuff.
Speaker:Um, so I have to do that.
Speaker:So sometimes it's hard to wake up in the morning.
Speaker:Um, sometimes you, you have no energy.
Speaker:Sometimes like stuff comes and punches you in the face.
Speaker:Sometimes you get an email or a letter in the mail or like your
Speaker:family member calls you and says, Oh, so and so is not very well.
Speaker:And you're like, Oh, it just knocks you off track.
Speaker:Um, and the separation day is this idea that on those days on those
Speaker:days when it's really difficult, you can do one of two things.
Speaker:You can either slide back or you just hold on as tight as you
Speaker:possibly can and take any forward momentum that you possibly can.
Speaker:And that is.
Speaker:Winning because you haven't, maybe I'm going forward.
Speaker:We haven't gone back.
Speaker:And in, in England, we have football games, right?
Speaker:Then when you win a football game in England, you get three points
Speaker:and you don't lose any points.
Speaker:But when you, there's two people here and they're level and those
Speaker:games are called six pointers.
Speaker:Like it's, it's not, it's still a three pointer, but it's like, because you go
Speaker:up three and this person stays there.
Speaker:It feels like a, a bigger difference.
Speaker:I said, this is what separation day is.
Speaker:It's, you may not move forward, but you haven't slidden backwards.
Speaker:And like you said, this, you have those effort days when you just
Speaker:feel like terrible and like, I'm on a diet and I'm like, you know, I'm
Speaker:just going to eat that in tight, like, and I know I can see it there.
Speaker:The fridge is just over there.
Speaker:And I know in the bottom of that thing, there's a bowl of chocolate.
Speaker:That if I had a really bad day, I just eat the whole thing like I can still do that
Speaker:I can still eat a whole thing of chocolate But I can't like that's that's just saying
Speaker:screw it and giving up on everything I don't mind like going off the rails a
Speaker:little bit, but that's what a separation day is Don't let yourself go that bad.
Speaker:Don't throw everything out.
Speaker:Don't throw the diet out.
Speaker:Don't throw the business out Don't throw everything because you have a bad day.
Speaker:Just hold on do what you can and then tomorrow be better
Speaker:So is there anything that you can do to almost stack the deck in your favor
Speaker:to, to kind of increase your, you know, engagement, your desire to actually
Speaker:like, Hey, I'm showing up in my best mental state and physical state rather
Speaker:than, Oh my gosh, I'm just drained Dan.
Speaker:I, I didn't sleep well yesterday, work sucked, you know, like the
Speaker:things that come against you.
Speaker:Is there a way to stack the deck in our favor?
Speaker:So I think there's a few things that I do.
Speaker:First one is vision boarding, which is really fluffy.
Speaker:And as a bodybuilder, it's like, come on, really like that whole fluffy thing.
Speaker:I'm like, yeah, but before I started, I created a vision board of what I
Speaker:wanted to look like as a, as a physique.
Speaker:And I went online and kind of type in bodybuilder.
Speaker:So these images, I'm like, okay.
Speaker:And so it's, it's remembering why you do it.
Speaker:And so I think there's the superficial element of why I want to do it, but
Speaker:then there's the kind of more profound or deeper level of the why below and
Speaker:for me, and we kind of talked about it as the pivot, the crossroads is, I know
Speaker:that I need to do this bodybuilding because it allows me to tell stories.
Speaker:That I have no context or like permission to tell.
Speaker:Otherwise, I was talking about fitness.
Speaker:There's a difference between talking about it because you've seen it in a
Speaker:book or something and having lived it.
Speaker:When I, when I podcast and I talk about mental toughness.
Speaker:So if you talk to me about mental toughness and imposter syndrome, I've
Speaker:got the psychology certificate somewhere that says, Oh, you know, some of this
Speaker:stuff, but when you talk about it from life experience, it sounds different.
Speaker:You know, it's like, I know what, like, it feels like to her.
Speaker:I know what it feels like to die yourself.
Speaker:I know what it feels like to have to sacrifice to say no.
Speaker:And you don't want to say no, all of those things.
Speaker:And, you know, to, to delay gratification.
Speaker:I know what it feels like.
Speaker:I know what it feels like when you fail.
Speaker:I know what it feels like when you get embarrassed and when you lose.
Speaker:I know all those things.
Speaker:And that allows me to be a lot more impactful in the teaching that I do.
Speaker:And if I hadn't had those experiences, then.
Speaker:What are you doing down?
Speaker:You just, you're just reciting other people's content.
Speaker:So that was one of the reasons why I started this is because I knew that it
Speaker:was as well as the physical challenge.
Speaker:It also allowed me to be a better teacher and kind of coach in the future.
Speaker:So that's, that's, it's remembering why you do it.
Speaker:Um, and then I think the other thing as well is just.
Speaker:Just be nicer to yourself.
Speaker:This is, this is something that's, that's really tough is my, you
Speaker:know, you've, you've had a glimpse of what my inner voice is like, and
Speaker:I've been pretty real, but it's, it's, uh, it's not a nice person.
Speaker:And I think the science says that we have all the thoughts we have, like 30 to 35,
Speaker:000 thoughts a day, about 80 percent of those are negative about 80, 80 percent
Speaker:of those negative and habitually negative.
Speaker:Like we think the same thing over and over again.
Speaker:It's like, Dan, you suck.
Speaker:You're a loser.
Speaker:You're all these things.
Speaker:you wouldn't speak to somebody else like that.
Speaker:I have a five year old daughter, she was five on the weekend and you know, it's
Speaker:how do you want, how would I talk to my daughter even if she done something
Speaker:naughty or that I didn't want her to do?
Speaker:I wouldn't say the things to her that I say in my own head to myself.
Speaker:And if we can kind of get into that mindset of like, Dan, why did you do that?
Speaker:Don't be such a nincompoop as opposed to real things we say, and I think the only
Speaker:thing that I think the thing that we kind of get hung up on is on timeline is that
Speaker:we should have things done faster this I don't know about you, but for a lot of
Speaker:people I speak to it, we should do things now and we need to fix this immediately
Speaker:and we've still got a long time to go like we were talking about this earlier
Speaker:is like we're we're in our prime and you know, I don't know about you, but I have
Speaker:my, my guys that I go for a drink with occasionally more sitting around drinking
Speaker:Diet Coke, and, um Because again, it's that point now we can't drink beer because
Speaker:we just end up at a hangover the next day.
Speaker:But we're, we all went to school together and we say, the older
Speaker:we get, the better we get.
Speaker:We have joints that hurt a little bit, but mentally we're smart and
Speaker:faculties wise and experience wise, we've got so much going for us
Speaker:and we're all leaning into life.
Speaker:It's like this idea, but I don't know how long it's going to take.
Speaker:The phrase that i use and this is a quote and seth godin is one of my favorite
Speaker:authors and i listen to any time i give him credit most motivational speakers will
Speaker:say this is a what would you dare to do if you knew you couldn't fail and that's
Speaker:nice and fluffy and stuff but it's not the real world it's not because we do fail and
Speaker:we should accept that it says what would you dare to do if you knew you would fail.
Speaker:But you would do it anyway, and this is, this is kind of how I'm approaching
Speaker:life now is what am I here to do?
Speaker:Like, what genuinely are you here to do?
Speaker:Whether it's scary or whether it's socially acceptable or any of those
Speaker:things, like, or whether you're family approved or any of those
Speaker:things, what do you want to do?
Speaker:And I didn't go and do it.
Speaker:So for me, writing, am I the best writer?
Speaker:No.
Speaker:Why far and away not?
Speaker:Do I have moments?
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:Am I getting better?
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:And do I edit hard?
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:Because sometimes my writing, like I said, all of thirds,
Speaker:sometimes it comes out as terrible.
Speaker:Then you go back and edit.
Speaker:But why do I do it?
Speaker:And I've got comfortable with this now because I need to tell the story.
Speaker:I need to do this to make sense of the world.
Speaker:Why do I do body part?
Speaker:Because it allows me to tell stories.
Speaker:It allows me to test my discipline.
Speaker:It allows me to be a role model.
Speaker:And all of these things it gives me my god should i do it 45 years old why am i
Speaker:kind of spending so much time dieting and getting covered in fake tan and all of
Speaker:these things my daughter this morning is like you gonna go and put the fake time
Speaker:i don't do it today i'm not gonna do it today it's okay but it's these kind of
Speaker:things it could be looked at as ridiculous and outside most of the people in the
Speaker:world don't understand but when you find.
Speaker:The people that do understand and this is what has this is what the
Speaker:bodybuilding thing has done for me This year's is connecting me with people
Speaker:who get this and that's your audience.
Speaker:That's your Your clan your tribe your people whatever it is The more people
Speaker:you can find like that who just get you and encourage you and whether it's crazy
Speaker:or whatever it is Find a few people that are going to be cheerleaders.
Speaker:And like that's the other thing.
Speaker:That's what keeps you going is You do it for them and for the
Speaker:camaraderie and the ongoing challenge.
Speaker:I have you back.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Having that community, those voices that can stand with you and back
Speaker:up that vision that you do have.
Speaker:I mean, there's enough people that are already betting against you.
Speaker:It's like you, you want as many as you can find and, and You know, be around
Speaker:that are going to back you and, and run with you and be like, Hey, I, I
Speaker:know it's been rough lately, but I know your dream is, is possible and
Speaker:you can get there that have your back
Speaker:when, when you talk about dreams as well.
Speaker:So there are some people that understand bodybuilding and there's
Speaker:some people that don't, and so I don't talk about bodybuilding.
Speaker:And so, you know, what are you doing?
Speaker:Like, what are you challenging yourself?
Speaker:You're like, I want to find out what I'm capable of.
Speaker:I want to test to see whether I've got discipline.
Speaker:I want to test, this could be, this could be anything, right?
Speaker:It could be bodybuilding.
Speaker:It could be anything.
Speaker:People understand that, that inherent need to test and find out
Speaker:our capabilities and how far we can push the limits of our existence.
Speaker:People get that.
Speaker:I just put it under the umbrella of bodybuilding.
Speaker:So if you, if you're talking to someone and you're talking about the
Speaker:thing that you really love and they understand it, then talk about the thing.
Speaker:And if they don't understand the thing, then talk to them about the
Speaker:why and the principles behind it.
Speaker:And because that was a long thing, like a lot of people would
Speaker:say, Oh, even my mum, bless her.
Speaker:She's like, Oh, aren't you losing a little bit too much weight?
Speaker:Mum, like I'm supposed to get down to, was it 5 percent something body fat?
Speaker:Is that healthy?
Speaker:It's not healthy, but I'm not going to stay there for the rest of my life.
Speaker:Like, so that conversation is exhausting.
Speaker:So just saying oh my god, it's cool, right?
Speaker:This is why i'm doing it challenge myself find out what i've got And then i'll
Speaker:just go back to being a dad in a minute.
Speaker:Um That's also part of the thing I think is otherwise you go if you're
Speaker:trying to convince people while you're doing your stuff It's just exhausting.
Speaker:Just do it
Speaker:Yeah, and the fact that it's not like hey, this is where I'm gonna be long time mom
Speaker:You know, it's like this is a blip just for this event and the tanks continue on
Speaker:They got they got our best interest.
Speaker:Yeah And, and it's one of those of, Hey, what they don't know, you
Speaker:know, they're making assumptions and understanding from their perspective,
Speaker:which can be totally different than ours.
Speaker:Um, you know, especially when it's like, Hey, we're setting ourselves
Speaker:up to grow, you know, to challenge ourselves and, and to really push
Speaker:ourselves, um, you know, if it's.
Speaker:If it's a large swing from what our family and friends have gone through,
Speaker:they're not going to grasp that.
Speaker:So you're going to, you're going to stand out.
Speaker:Um, and it's, there's a certain uncomfortability, I think, even for
Speaker:them, though, because then if they're truly engaged, they're looking at it
Speaker:like, oh, well, Dan just did this.
Speaker:Do I need to do this, you know, and those questions come up that
Speaker:aren't being asked in their life.
Speaker:So, um, just like you talked about, you know, showing ourselves grace, uh, when,
Speaker:when those tough thoughts come in or when we don't feel like we measure up,
Speaker:it's the same thing when somebody doesn't understand what we're really running for,
Speaker:um, you know, show them the grace and go, Hey, like you said, Hey, mom, I got it.
Speaker:It's okay.
Speaker:Here's another one George's backward steps.
Speaker:Um, and I'll say this at the beginning, I said, I'm unemployed, but I have a
Speaker:job waiting soon as I get my social security number and I'm going to go and
Speaker:be a personal trainer and the reason I say backwards steps is my first job
Speaker:out of university 25 years ago was was a personal trainer and I've been.
Speaker:Having this thought in my head, because I don't want to be unemployed because I need
Speaker:to earn money and have a family and I need to at least contribute to the household
Speaker:or something like that, you know, I have some savings because I don't spend
Speaker:much money except on protein, but that's quickly going down in New York, right?
Speaker:You don't live in New York on savings for very long.
Speaker:I spoke to a friend of mine the other day and I said, am I going backwards?
Speaker:Like, is this a bad thing?
Speaker:Should I, you know, personal trainer, should I go and
Speaker:get a job in sales training?
Speaker:Like, should I go and do that?
Speaker:Just go back to my comfort zone, right?
Speaker:Cause you know, I can stay there and I can earn some money and do all those things.
Speaker:And we had an interesting conversation.
Speaker:Why are you doing it?
Speaker:Like, what do you want?
Speaker:that was the question.
Speaker:It's like, what do I want?
Speaker:And I know what I want.
Speaker:I want to have a job where I can have the lifestyle and be the dad, do the pickup.
Speaker:What are flexibility i want to continue to be able to speak on have the option
Speaker:to go off and do things so have plans on this day and flexibility on this day
Speaker:i need that flexibility so i can do the other things that are important to me i
Speaker:need to network in america i need to make connections i do all these things i'm not
Speaker:going to do it sitting behind my laptop so it's actually really interesting is that.
Speaker:Sometimes we need to go back and, and take a step down to give us flexibility.
Speaker:And we don't always have that luxury, right?
Speaker:We don't have that luxury to do it financially, but
Speaker:it's better than quitting.
Speaker:Like it's, it's the thing.
Speaker:So, you know, some people quit a job and try and figure it out and then get
Speaker:struggling and then like, Oh no, panic.
Speaker:And so I think if you can kind of dial back is, and this
Speaker:is where sacrifice comes in.
Speaker:Sacrifice is, is not goats and virgins.
Speaker:It's like chess.
Speaker:It's strategic moves.
Speaker:So you gain resources elsewhere.
Speaker:And so, you know, can you reduce your resources, your burn, like if you're
Speaker:spending money, can you spend less to allow yourself to have things here that
Speaker:you can then invest into something, not just you saving money and hoarding
Speaker:it, but you can invest into building a business, building a lifestyle,
Speaker:whatever it is you want to do, take from this area, build into that area.
Speaker:And that's.
Speaker:That's what sacrifice is.
Speaker:Sacrifice is saying no to certain things.
Speaker:So you can say a big a yes in other areas of life,
Speaker:I've been in that spot as well, looking like, Hey, do I go back and do this, you
Speaker:know, or like when, um, You know, I've seen other guys that have lost their
Speaker:job, you know, been laid off and it's like, Oh my gosh, I'm starting over.
Speaker:And there's nothing further from the truth because where you are now, who you are,
Speaker:the knowledge, the skills, the wisdom that you have, you are not the same person
Speaker:that you were when you first started.
Speaker:And, uh, It's, it's a derailment, it's just switch into a different
Speaker:track and, uh, away you go, but you're, you know, you're, you're
Speaker:going to make some sacrifices.
Speaker:You may make some, some different decisions than what you plan, but,
Speaker:um, just like you, you talked about earlier, you know, it's like you.
Speaker:You keep doing the best you can hang on and, and look for the ways that you can
Speaker:win and not go backwards because it's like, you know, you're, you're always
Speaker:moving forward in one way or another.
Speaker:Ego is the biggest barrier, right?
Speaker:Is, you know, Oh, I used to be a big shot.
Speaker:I used to this.
Speaker:I used to so on, so on.
Speaker:We can only go forward, we can only go forward with humility and like just say
Speaker:I thought it was part of the plan or whatever it is, and you know, this ego
Speaker:is the biggest one in the gym, you see people trying to lift these big weights
Speaker:because what, I, I'm not the strongest guy in the gym, I lift a fraction of what
Speaker:some of these people lift, but I lift it well and with control and intensity
Speaker:that's different, it doesn't have to look, like ego is from the outside,
Speaker:it's not about living for the outside, it's about figuring out what you want
Speaker:to do on the inside and being satisfied with that, and that's probably the
Speaker:biggest, Biggest most important thing.
Speaker:So drop the ego.
Speaker:That'd be a good way to go for most.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And, and where we had gotten to with that was like the ego that like we're
Speaker:holding on to who we were in the past.
Speaker:Um, too often.
Speaker:And that's like a boat anchor, Dan, is it not?
Speaker:Like that keeps us in the past and doesn't.
Speaker:Let us realize our full potential.
Speaker:I mean, do you see it that way or, um, a different, different perspective on it?
Speaker:So I have this guy and most people have the family, but I have this guy, Arnold.
Speaker:Um, there's a picture.
Speaker:Uh, as a constant reminder, I do have the family here as well.
Speaker:I just, so I'm not completely, um, I'll keep remembering why you do it.
Speaker:But Arnold for me is this really interesting character.
Speaker:He's gone from bodybuilder to actor to politician, um, without
Speaker:seemingly resisting, right.
Speaker:At all.
Speaker:And it just feeling like the most natural transition.
Speaker:Yeah, of course I'm going to go into this and of course
Speaker:I'm going to be a politician.
Speaker:Of course, it's like the guy doesn't have any.
Speaker:It doesn't hold himself back.
Speaker:It's like that transition makes sense.
Speaker:And they add on and they kind of go into it.
Speaker:Whereas me, I'm like, Oh, I'm really good at that.
Speaker:So maybe I should stay here.
Speaker:And like, Oh, I can't be, I can't be a writer.
Speaker:I can't be this because I'm that it's like, no, just let go.
Speaker:Just let go.
Speaker:And I think we do, we get stuck in, and this is what I'm writing about
Speaker:in the book of this unstuck book is there's a person that we know
Speaker:that when we look in the mirror, we don't see the person that we are.
Speaker:We see the person that we were yesterday and all of those decisions
Speaker:that we made up until this point.
Speaker:Is the person we see in the mirror the gold that we have for self is something
Speaker:different is someone that we don't have experience of reference points we want
Speaker:to be that person but we don't have the certainty that we have this person in
Speaker:the mirror so this is where this kind of this weird situation is we see someone
Speaker:else in the mirror as a potential but we don't believe or don't have the
Speaker:reference points to become that person.
Speaker:And so our brain says, yeah, but you're good at this.
Speaker:You're good at this.
Speaker:Go over here and do this.
Speaker:This is the thing you are.
Speaker:This is the person you want to attach identity to the word identity.
Speaker:This is our identity.
Speaker:This is who we are.
Speaker:When I started bodybuilding, I didn't say that I was going to be Mr.
Speaker:Olympia.
Speaker:I didn't, I had no idea.
Speaker:And whether I will or not, second place is all right.
Speaker:It's still kind of going to, but I'm really happy with it.
Speaker:Um, next year we'll see, but all I wanted to do was do one competition
Speaker:and show that I could do it.
Speaker:And then a year later and a year later, I ended up with Mr.
Speaker:Olympia.
Speaker:So it was about three years, the whole journey to get from, Oh, my goodness.
Speaker:What do you look like to let's go and step on stage and Mr. Olympia.
Speaker:And to be honest, like the imposter syndrome, when I was on the side of the
Speaker:stage, just about to go on stage for Mr. Olympia, I did this and I looked to the
Speaker:people who are around me about to go on stage and I was like, I'm out of my depth.
Speaker:I'm struggling.
Speaker:I'm going to lose.
Speaker:I'm going to get destroyed.
Speaker:I'm embarrassed.
Speaker:In my head at that point, just about to step on stage.
Speaker:This is how crazy it is.
Speaker:And then you have a moment of clarity like, Oh no, I can do this.
Speaker:So even in those moments where you know, you're in the right place, it's just
Speaker:these things still kick in, but this is the thing, there's a three year journey
Speaker:and I didn't know where it was going to go, but I knew I needed to do something.
Speaker:I knew I needed to take steps and build habits and test
Speaker:myself and challenge myself.
Speaker:So don't aim so big, like have the idea, have the vision, have an idea
Speaker:about the direction, the vision for your life that you want to create.
Speaker:Have some goals like along the way in certain key moments.
Speaker:So, okay, well, how am I going to get to that one?
Speaker:How am I going to get to that one?
Speaker:And then the, so the really a thing is it's vision, big picture, know where
Speaker:your true North is, so as long as you're on the right track, it's good.
Speaker:Have some goals that act as stepping stone.
Speaker:So compete.
Speaker:When my so you're talking about running right is do the 5k do the 10k do the
Speaker:half marathon do the triathlon sprint triathlon full distance iron man i go to
Speaker:hawaii you don't know like it's you're on a path you don't know where it's going
Speaker:to go but just keep setting yourself and as long as you know why you're
Speaker:doing it like what's the ultimate path.
Speaker:So for you from the fitness goal, it's not, you're not trying to win the Ironman.
Speaker:Like, what are you trying to do is trying to be that best version of yourself,
Speaker:the healthiest, sustainable, functional, like person who's able to live life
Speaker:as we get older, that's the identity.
Speaker:So anything that's in that kind of path is good.
Speaker:Like, it doesn't matter where you're going.
Speaker:Um, and then just show up as that person consistently, not every day.
Speaker:Nobody expects you to do it every day.
Speaker:Um, but with consistency and, and that's, that's kind of what we need to do, right?
Speaker:I think it's just, and be comfortable, like, be comfortable with that path.
Speaker:And again, come back to sacrifice, because you're on that path, that doesn't
Speaker:mean you can have all the other paths.
Speaker:So just be happy with that.
Speaker:Um, you know, it's just, it's one of those, if you mentioning the
Speaker:iron man, I think it's so funny because I've told my wife, look, I
Speaker:just want to finish this sprint and we'll see where we go from there.
Speaker:Cause she's like, yeah, you're going to get addicted to it
Speaker:and you'll end up on Kona.
Speaker:You know, like you talked about with the Y I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa,
Speaker:slow the horses, let me reach this will assess and go from there, but
Speaker:that's my first goal is And we'll see where things go from there so
Speaker:and that's that's all the language we need is this is my first goal let's
Speaker:see where we go don't take it seriously who knows is not is not in your control
Speaker:is not in your control you just got to show up and and play the game and
Speaker:everything else figures itself out.
Speaker:Yeah, if you don't show up, you don't get there.
Speaker:And it's, it's kind of written out and it's almost like groundhog day
Speaker:today becomes tomorrow and ad nauseum.
Speaker:And then you look back with regret and going, why did I
Speaker:spend my time the way I did
Speaker:this?
Speaker:Let me just quickly talk to you about this as well.
Speaker:We've got a moment.
Speaker:This is a certificate of participation and I don't know how I feel
Speaker:about certificate participation.
Speaker:It reminds me of kids school dates, right?
Speaker:In sports days where everyone gets a medal.
Speaker:And I don't know if I like that.
Speaker:I do for kids go, I think it's in participation is important, but
Speaker:when we get to kind of grown up.
Speaker:Um, it, it, it means something different.
Speaker:But here's one thing that I saw and we talked about this part, participation in
Speaker:showing up piece in my first competition, and I'm a master's athlete, which
Speaker:means I'm over 40, which means there's a real life as well as bodybuilding.
Speaker:. Yeah.
Speaker:So I think there was about seven people on the list that was supposed to show up, and
Speaker:I think it was maybe four or five of us turned up and we were at the competition.
Speaker:I mean, two or three.
Speaker:Didn't make it.
Speaker:Why?
Speaker:Um, it's really hard to get in shape for a show and life happens and, you know,
Speaker:I remember, you know, talking about family members having health problems.
Speaker:My stepdad died a year and a half ago, just before one of shows of cancer.
Speaker:We'd had a massive battle and it was a brilliant, amazing way
Speaker:to see somebody live and, and.
Speaker:I learned so much during that phase, but again, that could have been an
Speaker:obstacle that says, okay, I'm not going to compete because you know, and
Speaker:everybody would have understood, right?
Speaker:So to get to a show, to get to an Ironman, to get to a triathlon, just
Speaker:to get there is impressive just to show up because do you know how much stuff
Speaker:you've got to overcome just to show up?
Speaker:It's hard.
Speaker:It's hard.
Speaker:And so anybody who's listening is even, even if you just show up like
Speaker:day to day, that's half of the battle because most people will get beaten.
Speaker:And it's not, as we've said the entire time through here, it's not the
Speaker:external situations, they're consistent.
Speaker:We've all got to face those, but it says internal things.
Speaker:There's that little voice that says, yeah, but you're not very good.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:But you know, why are you doing this?
Speaker:Like, you're never going to win.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:So why would you bother all of those tiny little things?
Speaker:And as I said earlier, it's the things that are your buttons, like the ones that
Speaker:only Mike Forrester needs to listen to.
Speaker:It's like that, that thing is going to say, Hey, you remember
Speaker:that thing that you did?
Speaker:Nobody knows about.
Speaker:Yeah, they're going to find out or something along those lines.
Speaker:I don't know what it is, but it's just mean and cheeky.
Speaker:Um, but follow the path, follow the plan, show up, do it.
Speaker:And you'll still be, you'll be ahead of most people and
Speaker:you'll thank yourself for it.
Speaker:Dan, that's super powerful, dude.
Speaker:I, I appreciate you coming on, sharing like the more than just behind the
Speaker:scenes, but inside the head kind of perspective because it happens to all
Speaker:of us, but yet we aren't sharing it.
Speaker:So nobody knows.
Speaker:But helping us to, to see that self doubt that imposter syndrome, right?
Speaker:And to be kind to ourselves because that's something that isn't normal.
Speaker:Um, you know, most of us are nice to other people and cruel to ourselves
Speaker:and, uh, just showing up daily, right?
Speaker:Whether it's at 100%, 70%, 80 percent or just holding on for dear life.
Speaker:Here's like you said, we're still making progress.
Speaker:Um, we're still moving forward.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:So.
Speaker:Dan outside of the podcast man how can guys connect with you
Speaker:so check out my website danstorey.com um you'll find all of my kind of thoughts
Speaker:and i have a newsletter that i've started with me as well called pep talk um
Speaker:pp so purpose energy and productivity because i think those are the three
Speaker:things that we need to focus on is like are we moving in the right direction
Speaker:as we talked about what's our purpose why are we doing these things how do we
Speaker:have enough energy so that we can show up um and bring our best selves because
Speaker:you know we want to you Be able to live this life, not just kind of exist in it
Speaker:and in productivity because we need to be able to do stuff and still generate.
Speaker:So I think those are three things where I like to talk about this concept.
Speaker:So that's my pep talk newsletter.
Speaker:And then the other way is on Amazon.
Speaker:So as I mentioned, I'm writing the second book.
Speaker:The first book is on there already.
Speaker:The personal transformation blueprint.
Speaker:We talked a little bit about that imagery earlier.
Speaker:It's like we played in that small goldfish pond.
Speaker:It's time to get out of it.
Speaker:Um, and then, you know, like I said, next year, there'll be the,
Speaker:the next book, which is unstuck, which is the behavioral psychology.
Speaker:Our psychology is a little bit, you know, we talked about voices and
Speaker:stuff, but our psychology is genuinely wired to keep us stuck in the state
Speaker:of quo and stop things changing.
Speaker:And until we understand that, then it's really difficult to get unstuck.
Speaker:Um, so that's what we're going to be talking about in the next
Speaker:book next year, which is that the first step is often the hardest.
Speaker:So how do we help people have that first step?
Speaker:Yeah, especially when, like what she shared, 80 percent
Speaker:of our thoughts are negative.
Speaker:I mean, that is a very powerful step when you push through and make that.
Speaker:So Dan, thank you for joining me today, sharing your story, your insights and,
Speaker:and all the encouragement then there.
Speaker:I appreciate it.
Speaker:My friend.
Speaker:Thanks for having me, Mike.
Speaker:You got
Speaker:it.
