127 - Chris Comer Interview Highlights

What else is there? Because I don't know about you I've hit those points where I'm at a crossroad and gone, okay. I'm really not enjoying what I do and not finding that satisfaction, you know, just that, that peace of mind and joy that I used to have. It's just not there. And so, you know, I've been at that place, um, you know, looking at life and just going, gosh, this is not fulfilling, but, um, you know, I'm making money.

And I promise you, it's going to bleed over into your relationships. It'll bleed over into your marriage and your relationship with your children as a, as a dad, your friendships at work, you know, when you're agitated or frustrated with where you're at, what you're doing. It carries over and negatively impacts the, the relationships around you.

Um, I remember being in jobs that it was just like, I didn't want to be there. Um, you know, at one point I was doing collections, you know, I was that lovely guy that would be on the other end of the dialer. And, you know, you'd get a call at dinner. It's like, Hey, You know, whether it's a sales or collections, I was doing collections with that one.

That, that was so challenging because I didn't see my wife. Um, I was working a job that just was not satisfying because I could relate with the people that, that weren't able to pay genuinely pay. I mean, there's, you know, some folks that it's like, they're skipping out, but you know, there's other people you run across that.

And they, they were in the same boat that I was in. I can really relate where it's like, okay, which bill do I pay? Do I put food on the table? Do I pay the utility bills? Do I pay the rent or do I pay the car payment? Like, what am I going to take care of and make sure that it's covered and it's going to cost me something else.

I wasn't going to just shirk that off. That wasn't something I wanted either. But, uh, you know, I needed to invest in myself to get to that place where then I could have a job that I liked more that was more fulfilling and, and doing something that was enjoyable. And sometimes it just it's like Chris talked about you're going along and you're looking and looking and looking, and then something pops up.

Like he talked about going from automotive restoration, going into, you know, doing coaching both on the marital and the financial and you know, how that came about and getting training and looking, and then finding a path and being. You know, goal oriented in, this is what I want. This is how I'm going to get they're following through on those tasks.

They were both in the mud and the mocking and really struggling with the situation because he's, he'd shared, she was working 70 hours a week and then taking care of the house and the family. And he's trying to get the business back open and get through all the red tape of. You know that the town that he had researched weighted in, I mean, they're both in the midst of it, smart thing is that they communicated.

She won't figure out that they're stress wrong. She could see that I was stressed and knew that something was up. She just didn't have anything to tie it back to. So she's on alert knowing that something's off. And then the second thing was, remember, I mean, secure at this point in time. And my fear was that if I shared with her that she would then respect me less.

And so the little bit of, of, you know, joy of, of happiness that we had in our relationship, because the other was, and the respect that she had for me at that point, I was afraid of losing it. 'cause that was my mindset. It was maybe the other shoe is going to drop. Things are going to get worse. You know, things are going great now, but when is it going to go south?

I understand, you know, here's my concern. I understand this is not an ideal place. This is my plan going forward. And oftentimes my wife would come back and say, well, we also have this other option over here. And it would remove stress and give us a path that I had even seen. So where I was afraid of losing stuff, I was actually gaining stuff by being open and honest with my wife.

You're unaware of. So the other thing that I really love that Chris talked about and. This ties back into, you know, how it was talking about, you know, money and the golden handcuffs is that marriage and finances are tied together. I don't know about you, but, and when the car broke down, when, you know, there were more bills that came in, you know, Christmas came around and we don't have money, but we're trying to figure it out.

You know, it's like you end up with a financial issue and a marital issue because you're stressed. Um, both of you, you know, are stressed out and you're trying to figure out how higher you're going to pay for the car repair or pay for the utilities or the food, or, you know, give your kids something nice for their birthday or Christmas, whatever the time of year it is.

It was just a marital issue when you know, okay. We have to pay this bill and this bill. Okay, great. They're paid, oh, there's this bit I forgot about. And then, you know, I'm feeling insecure about the fact that, Hey, I overlooked something great. Now, you know, you're berating yourself, you know, uh, You know, why am I such a fool?

So look at your finances and. You know, discuss them because just like, you know, what's important to my wife, as far as getting done around the house, you know, like the, to do list the honey list. Um, man, my list could be totally different than my wife's. And you know, in order of, of arrangement, I prioritize.

Um, it can be the same thing, you know, I may be looking at, Hey, we've got to have the utilities on in order to keep the house warm. Well, my wife could be looking at, you know, formula has gone up, groceries have gone up, we've got to make sure everybody's fed. And so understanding what's important to each other.

Does it mean it's smooth sailing? Absolutely. But when we're communicating, we're on the same page, we can fight another day. You know, we can have each other's back and in order to make it in a long run, you've gotta be there. You know, if, if my wife doesn't feel like I have her best interest at hand or the children's best interests at hand, guess what?

So, um, you know, again, just like I talked about. Open up to your wife. Um, you know, if, if it's been Rocky before start sharing, just like we've talked about with, you know, building friendships with other men, communities is sharing a little bit at a time and, um, you know, not just throwing it all out, not just puking on them.

Um, you know, this is what I'm working on. And then. See how things move from there. Uh, you know why it was just like you and I are individuals, you know, they're humans they're unique. And while they may be, you know, Common things about them, just like as men, there's common things about us. There's also unique giftings and traits and behaviors, mannerisms thoughts.

I mean, they're unique. Um, so treat them as such, uh, you know, so my friend hope this helps you out. And I look forward to speaking to you again, have a great day.