From Hoping for a Better Life to Actively Creating It with Brian McAlister

Mike Forster: 00:00:02

This is the Living Fearless Today podcast, a show that helps men like you and me who are struggling to get unstuck and overcome fear, to live confidently and courageously.

Mike Forster: 00:00:12

I'm your host and transformation coach, Mike Forster, helping you create the change you want.

Mike Forster: 00:00:18

Now join me as I interview men who've conquered their challenges and soared to success as they spill their secrets on how they live.

Mike Forster: 00:00:25

Fearless today.

Mike Forster: 00:00:43

Well, hello and welcome back, my friend.

Mike Forster: 00:00:45

Man.

Mike Forster: 00:00:45

Today I'm joined by Brian McAllister.

Mike Forster: 00:00:48

And Brian has just an amazing story of transformation, showing us that where we're at is not where we're stuck.

Mike Forster: 00:00:58

That's not what we're relegated to.

Mike Forster: 00:01:01

Instead, you're going to hear from Brian's story that he went from addiction to transformation, helping other people to find the freedom that he's experiencing in his own life.

Mike Forster: 00:01:10

So that is available to each of us.

Mike Forster: 00:01:13

And I hope from Brian's story today that you're going to see that, hey, yeah, that path is there for you as well.

Mike Forster: 00:01:18

And it's a matter of plugging in, taking that step and not giving up.

Mike Forster: 00:01:23

Brian's got resiliency in his story, finding self worth, his identity, and obviously his purpose.

Mike Forster: 00:01:31

Right.

Mike Forster: 00:01:31

Because he's investing in other people at this point now that he has found that healthy path and the practice for himself.

Mike Forster: 00:01:39

So, Brian, how are you doing today, my friend?

Brian McAllister: 00:01:41

I'm doing excellent.

Brian McAllister: 00:01:43

Excellent.

Brian McAllister: 00:01:43

Thanks for having me on, Mike.

Mike Forster: 00:01:45

Absolutely.

Mike Forster: 00:01:46

It's a pleasure.

Mike Forster: 00:01:47

And just from our conversation that we've had before, and you and I see a lot of the similarities and love giving to encourage others that it's like you're not stuck and that there is more out there.

Mike Forster: 00:02:02

It's a matter of putting in the work and that continuing that work, right?

Brian McAllister: 00:02:07

Absolutely.

Mike Forster: 00:02:08

So I appreciate it, my friend.

Mike Forster: 00:02:11

Let's jump in and start on what does life look like for you today on the professional side of things?

Brian McAllister: 00:02:17

Professionally, I'm the CEO of.

Brian McAllister: 00:02:20

Of a software company that develops mental health software for people with trauma, anxiety, PTSD and substance use disorder.

Brian McAllister: 00:02:33

I'm the founder and CEO of the full recovery wellness center, which was.

Brian McAllister: 00:02:39

I closed it maybe, maybe six months ago.

Brian McAllister: 00:02:42

It was open for about 15 years, and it was a licensed treatment facility in New Jersey.

Brian McAllister: 00:02:50

And they really dealt mostly with first responders.

Brian McAllister: 00:02:54

There's a lot of first responders, you know, they get injured on the job, they get exposed to medication and things like that, and they wind up with the same problems as everybody else does.

Brian McAllister: 00:03:03

And then prior to that, I was the leader of one of the top people in a fortune, not 100 Fortune Ten company that I ran, 110 stores for, one of the biggest retailers in the country.

Brian McAllister: 00:03:18

I started as a unloading trucks for them, and I wound up in that position after a relatively short period of time.

Brian McAllister: 00:03:27

And, like, right now, my professional life is good.

Brian McAllister: 00:03:29

I have choices.

Brian McAllister: 00:03:30

You know, I'm not dealing with financial scarcity.

Brian McAllister: 00:03:33

I'm not dealing with personal challenges with my family, with my spouse.

Brian McAllister: 00:03:39

And I'm in a good place.

Brian McAllister: 00:03:41

I'm in a good place.

Brian McAllister: 00:03:42

And my whole goal is to.

Brian McAllister: 00:03:44

To give back and show people how I pulled it off, how a guy like me was.

Brian McAllister: 00:03:48

If I can do it, anybody can do it.

Brian McAllister: 00:03:50

Just takes time, effort, plan, action, and the work.

Brian McAllister: 00:03:54

You said in the beginning, a lot of hard work.

Mike Forster: 00:03:57

Yeah, it's that hard work and like, a cumulative amount of hard work.

Mike Forster: 00:04:02

I mean, at this point, Brian, I'm like, we're still, you know, in process and still making end roads.

Mike Forster: 00:04:12

You know, it's almost like things unfold as more and more work.

Mike Forster: 00:04:17

You know, that that is put into it.

Mike Forster: 00:04:19

New things surface that I couldn't see before.

Mike Forster: 00:04:23

And so it's like those layers are always there to be worked on.

Mike Forster: 00:04:27

But, man, the benefits from the work, dude, it's just unbelievable.

Mike Forster: 00:04:32

And I can't imagine going back.

Mike Forster: 00:04:34

And I'm sure that's the same for you, Brian.

Brian McAllister: 00:04:36

No.

Brian McAllister: 00:04:36

And what's lucky is I have.

Brian McAllister: 00:04:38

I look at it like I have two lives for the price of one.

Brian McAllister: 00:04:41

I know that whole dark side of myself.

Brian McAllister: 00:04:44

I know the whole struggle, the feeling less than the limited vision of the future.

Brian McAllister: 00:04:50

And I know this side.

Brian McAllister: 00:04:53

I feel that's a blessing.

Brian McAllister: 00:04:55

Now, all that hard living I did, I could put to good use.

Mike Forster: 00:04:59

Exactly.

Mike Forster: 00:05:00

All the knocks that we got on the way to where we are now.

Brian McAllister: 00:05:04

Exactly.

Mike Forster: 00:05:06

Well, let's jump over to the personal side.

Mike Forster: 00:05:09

What does life look like personally?

Brian McAllister: 00:05:11

Personally, I'm married to the same woman for 47 years.

Brian McAllister: 00:05:16

You know, like, she's the love of my life.

Brian McAllister: 00:05:19

We got married, we were teenagers, and, you know, we took off.

Brian McAllister: 00:05:23

I told her when I married her, I was going to take her on the adventure of a lifetime.

Brian McAllister: 00:05:27

I guarantee I filled that bill.

Brian McAllister: 00:05:29

You know, we, we lived all over the country.

Brian McAllister: 00:05:32

We jumped out of Harley and took off.

Brian McAllister: 00:05:34

You know, we lived that type of lifestyle, lived in a tent of camped out and all that.

Brian McAllister: 00:05:38

And, you know, she's the love of my life and I'm blessed.

Brian McAllister: 00:05:41

I have a son who lives in Manhattan.

Brian McAllister: 00:05:44

He's runs his own business.

Brian McAllister: 00:05:46

You know, he's doing very well for himself.

Brian McAllister: 00:05:49

My personal life is.

Brian McAllister: 00:05:51

I do still belong to a twelve step program, which is something that keeps me grounded and allows me to contribute beyond business, contributing beyond the things I do for a living.

Brian McAllister: 00:06:04

And it involves really just giving back in.

Brian McAllister: 00:06:07

Because if I.

Brian McAllister: 00:06:08

If somebody wasn't there when I crawled into the twelve step rooms way back when, I wouldn't be sitting here.

Brian McAllister: 00:06:14

So I owe.

Brian McAllister: 00:06:15

I owe a debt I could never repay.

Mike Forster: 00:06:18

Yeah.

Mike Forster: 00:06:19

I think it's keeping that perspective and not losing sight of, like, our origins kind of keeps us humble, but also gives us, like, that resiliency and perspective.

Mike Forster: 00:06:31

Right.

Mike Forster: 00:06:31

To continue on without, you know, sliding back into old habits, old beliefs, and getting back into those ruts that were comfortable at one time.

Brian McAllister: 00:06:44

And they're there.

Brian McAllister: 00:06:45

You know, I've been away from drugs and alcohol for 33 years.

Brian McAllister: 00:06:50

I'm sober, August 2.

Brian McAllister: 00:06:52

If I don't get high and I don't die, I'll have 34 years.

Brian McAllister: 00:06:56

And, you know, life happens.

Brian McAllister: 00:06:59

I mean, I've lost all types of people.

Brian McAllister: 00:07:01

My dad's got severe dementia.

Brian McAllister: 00:07:03

He's 91 years old.

Brian McAllister: 00:07:05

You know, so, like, all these things happen.

Brian McAllister: 00:07:07

But the thing is, because I got better, I'm able to deal with them.

Brian McAllister: 00:07:11

You know, I'm able to deal with life on life's terms.

Brian McAllister: 00:07:14

And that's really the gift, you know?

Brian McAllister: 00:07:16

And everybody can get this gift.

Brian McAllister: 00:07:17

It's out there.

Mike Forster: 00:07:20

Yeah.

Mike Forster: 00:07:21

And I.

Mike Forster: 00:07:21

That is such, like, a powerful perspective, Brian.

Mike Forster: 00:07:25

Like, I look at things that are going on right now and have for, like, the last five years with, you know, parents and.

Mike Forster: 00:07:32

And family and just like you're talking about dementia with your dad, right?

Mike Forster: 00:07:36

Man, Brian, before I would have run for the hills, I would have medicated.

Mike Forster: 00:07:41

I would have avoided or just tried to act ignorant of the whole situation to cope with it.

Mike Forster: 00:07:49

Whereas now it's like, I can walk through it, I can address it and help being part of the solution to the situation instead of almost adding, like, napalm to the.

Brian McAllister: 00:08:02

Yeah, yeah.

Brian McAllister: 00:08:02

Like a tornado going through everybody's life.

Brian McAllister: 00:08:05

You know what I mean?

Brian McAllister: 00:08:06

Bouncing off the bumpers of life.

Brian McAllister: 00:08:07

That's kind of what I did for many years.

Brian McAllister: 00:08:10

And, you know, it is really true.

Brian McAllister: 00:08:12

I'm sure you heard that acronym for fear.

Brian McAllister: 00:08:15

You know, false evidence appears real.

Brian McAllister: 00:08:18

You know, I like the one that says, face everything and recover.

Brian McAllister: 00:08:21

You know?

Brian McAllister: 00:08:21

So you stand up, you man up, you do the right thing, you take the right action.

Brian McAllister: 00:08:26

And when you do, that's all you can do.

Brian McAllister: 00:08:29

You know, you can't.

Brian McAllister: 00:08:30

You know, I can't change lives or everybody around me, but I can change how I react to all these situations, you know, and I'd rather be part of the solution than part of the problem.

Mike Forster: 00:08:42

Yeah, 100%.

Mike Forster: 00:08:44

And I think it was almost like you're talking about not being able to change people around you, Brian.

Mike Forster: 00:08:49

I think that was, like, an excuse or a way out, was trying to change the people around me and making my changes contingent upon their changes.

Mike Forster: 00:08:59

Like, when my wife does this, then I'll do that.

Mike Forster: 00:09:04

And no surprise, that stuff never happened, so I never changed.

Mike Forster: 00:09:10

It wasn't until I took that responsibility that then things began to change for me.

Mike Forster: 00:09:15

It was.

Mike Forster: 00:09:15

Is that something like you've experienced and seen as well?

Brian McAllister: 00:09:18

And, you know, like, if I had, you know, if I have enough money, you know, if I have enough, you know, success, if I have whatever.

Brian McAllister: 00:09:26

Whatever I was looking for in the future, you know, people are always hoping life will get better, but most people aren't living the life they're hoping for.

Brian McAllister: 00:09:32

You know what I mean?

Brian McAllister: 00:09:33

You got to take action.

Brian McAllister: 00:09:35

Intelligent, daily, constructive action.

Brian McAllister: 00:09:38

Like, for me, you know, I realized once I put the plug in the jug and stopped doing drugs and all these other things that my life was a mess.

Brian McAllister: 00:09:46

I had spent two decades literally tearing it up.

Brian McAllister: 00:09:50

And, you know, I decided then that, you know, I'm an adult.

Brian McAllister: 00:09:53

I can have.

Brian McAllister: 00:09:54

I used to blame my family.

Brian McAllister: 00:09:55

There's a lot of alcoholism and a lot of different things in my.

Brian McAllister: 00:09:58

In my past that, you know, I could use as excuses as to why I had not been successful up to that point.

Brian McAllister: 00:10:06

I didn't have an education.

Brian McAllister: 00:10:07

I didn't go to college, you know, and I just had to throw that stuff away.

Brian McAllister: 00:10:11

I realized I'm a man.

Brian McAllister: 00:10:13

I'm an adult.

Brian McAllister: 00:10:14

I can choose how I want to respond to life.

Brian McAllister: 00:10:17

I can choose what I want to do and take daily action.

Brian McAllister: 00:10:20

It's just daily steps to get to where I want to be consistent.

Brian McAllister: 00:10:25

But, you know, I also had to ask myself better questions.

Brian McAllister: 00:10:28

Instead of, like, why is this happening to me?

Brian McAllister: 00:10:30

How come I never get a break?

Brian McAllister: 00:10:31

All those weak minded questions I used to live on and justify.

Brian McAllister: 00:10:36

Today, I ask myself better questions, like, instead of someday I'll fall in love, someday I'll have more money.

Brian McAllister: 00:10:42

So that today is someday.

Brian McAllister: 00:10:44

What am I waiting for?

Brian McAllister: 00:10:46

This isn't a dress rehearsal.

Brian McAllister: 00:10:48

This is the one life I get.

Brian McAllister: 00:10:50

So I had to make some decisions and take responsibility.

Brian McAllister: 00:10:53

From that grew an incredible life.

Brian McAllister: 00:10:56

And the thing is, it didn't happen overnight.

Brian McAllister: 00:10:58

It happened over an extended period of time, making adjustments along the way.

Brian McAllister: 00:11:04

And it's really been exciting.

Brian McAllister: 00:11:06

One thing I did have, though, I did have the ability to take action.

Brian McAllister: 00:11:11

A lot of people get stuck in the fear.

Brian McAllister: 00:11:13

Like, a lot of times, procrastination is really masking fear.

Brian McAllister: 00:11:16

They're not moving forward because deep down, somewhere hidden in their psyche, they're afraid that they're not going to be able to pull it off.

Brian McAllister: 00:11:24

So I started looking at things like.

Brian McAllister: 00:11:26

Like the scientist looks at an experiment.

Brian McAllister: 00:11:29

I'm just getting a result.

Brian McAllister: 00:11:30

Either I'm getting the result I want, or I'm getting another result.

Brian McAllister: 00:11:33

But if I learn something, how can I look at it like I was a failure?

Brian McAllister: 00:11:37

And if I looked at things that I wasn't a failure, it encouraged me to take more action.

Brian McAllister: 00:11:42

So, like, just little, little things like that, the way I looked at life really made a major, major difference.

Mike Forster: 00:11:49

Do you think, like, we all have the ability to take action, or most like the permission take action, but we're just making a.

Mike Forster: 00:11:57

The wrong choice, or the repeated choice that we've made in the past that still gives us the same unhealthy or undesired results?

Brian McAllister: 00:12:06

Doctor Justin I do, and I'll go with this.

Brian McAllister: 00:12:10

I'm a recovering alcoholic and drug addict.

Brian McAllister: 00:12:12

So that was my mo.

Brian McAllister: 00:12:14

When things went good, I ran to that.

Brian McAllister: 00:12:16

When things were bad, I ran to that.

Brian McAllister: 00:12:18

That was my excuse.

Brian McAllister: 00:12:19

And I used that as an excuse why I had not been able to really have a quality life up to that point.

Brian McAllister: 00:12:26

And for me, the same skill set that I used to keep myself down, the same skill set that I used to drive myself into the gutter when repurposed, is what pushed me up to the mountaintop.

Brian McAllister: 00:12:39

And I'll give you an example.

Brian McAllister: 00:12:41

When I wanted drugs, I knew what commitment was.

Brian McAllister: 00:12:44

I risked my health, my life, my family, my money, my freedom, anything, and I was going to get what I wanted.

Brian McAllister: 00:12:50

That is really a commitment that most people cannot muster.

Brian McAllister: 00:12:55

So I took that skill set and I combined it with the moral and ethical standards needed to stay alcohol and drug free.

Brian McAllister: 00:13:04

And I made a decision.

Brian McAllister: 00:13:05

I wrote out what my dreams were, what my goals were, what I wanted to have to do, to own, to be in life.

Brian McAllister: 00:13:13

And then, rather than every time I said, how am I going to do this?

Brian McAllister: 00:13:17

I have no education, I would get depressed.

Brian McAllister: 00:13:20

So instead, I gave myself reasons why I was going to do it.

Brian McAllister: 00:13:23

Because I owed it to my family for the crappy life I had given him.

Brian McAllister: 00:13:27

Because I didn't want to drop dead, not fulfill my purpose.

Brian McAllister: 00:13:30

I just made a long list of stuff and the reasons why gave me the stamina to keep pushing forward when things got tough.

Brian McAllister: 00:13:38

Was, I'm going to tell everybody they will get tough, but it's certainly worth it.

Mike Forster: 00:13:43

Yeah.

Mike Forster: 00:13:44

Now, when you've come from a place of low self worth, the doubt, everything negative that your perspective and view is.

Mike Forster: 00:13:57

In that same vein, how do you step into dreaming?

Mike Forster: 00:14:01

If somebody came up to you and said, brian, this is where my life is at, you know, I don't know how I'm going to change?

Mike Forster: 00:14:09

You talked about having that dream, that vision to kind of carry you through the challenge and the struggle that you faced and keep you on track.

Mike Forster: 00:14:19

How do you help somebody to be able to dream when they haven't dreamt in a while?

Mike Forster: 00:14:25

And those dreams have been just kind of cast aside by the experiences and the addiction, the life that.

Mike Forster: 00:14:33

That has been lived, so to speak.

Brian McAllister: 00:14:36

Well, you know, first thing is you have to make a decision and not a promise, not a meandering.

Brian McAllister: 00:14:42

Oh, yeah, I'd like to.

Brian McAllister: 00:14:43

It's got to be decision.

Brian McAllister: 00:14:44

And, you know, the root word of decision is a latin word, and it means to cut away.

Brian McAllister: 00:14:51

I had to cut away from my past 100% half measures get you nothing.

Brian McAllister: 00:14:56

You know, I had to be all in.

Brian McAllister: 00:14:57

Like I said, if I needed to copy and I needed something like that, I was all in.

Brian McAllister: 00:15:02

You know, I took that same deal, and I decided and I made my dreams and my goal big enough to be inspiring.

Brian McAllister: 00:15:09

You know what I mean?

Brian McAllister: 00:15:10

Like, I know there was steps along the way that had to take place, but, you know, getting a job, making minimum wage certainly wasn't going to get my juices flowing.

Brian McAllister: 00:15:20

I'll speak myself again.

Brian McAllister: 00:15:21

I'm an addict.

Brian McAllister: 00:15:21

I like more.

Brian McAllister: 00:15:22

I'm addicted to more, you know, so how can I use it?

Brian McAllister: 00:15:25

So I made some really huge, huge goals, you know, and then I got my.

Brian McAllister: 00:15:30

I got that behind me.

Brian McAllister: 00:15:31

And, you know, I started writing things out, like, really simple stuff.

Brian McAllister: 00:15:34

A lot of people have heard this.

Brian McAllister: 00:15:36

You know, I.

Brian McAllister: 00:15:37

I'll tell you nothing.

Brian McAllister: 00:15:38

As an addict, alcoholic, I thought I was an atheist.

Brian McAllister: 00:15:41

You know, I had a lot of bad experiences as a child with.

Brian McAllister: 00:15:44

With organized religion.

Brian McAllister: 00:15:46

So, you know, I realized that, you know, there's a spiritual component to this world we're living in.

Brian McAllister: 00:15:51

And I had.

Brian McAllister: 00:15:52

I had to figure out something that works for me.

Brian McAllister: 00:15:55

So when I wrote out my affirmations of what I was going to do to change every day, I put them on my fingertips.

Brian McAllister: 00:16:01

I said, I use the word God.

Brian McAllister: 00:16:03

That's just what I use.

Brian McAllister: 00:16:04

Because I needed to get into the flow.

Brian McAllister: 00:16:06

I needed all the help I could get.

Brian McAllister: 00:16:08

I said, God wants me sober.

Brian McAllister: 00:16:10

God wants me happy.

Brian McAllister: 00:16:12

God wants me abundantly wealthy.

Brian McAllister: 00:16:14

God wants me spiritually fit, and God wants me to help others.

Brian McAllister: 00:16:17

Then I go, boom.

Brian McAllister: 00:16:18

And that was my anchor.

Brian McAllister: 00:16:20

And I just got into it over and over.

Brian McAllister: 00:16:22

You know, I figure I convinced myself that ruining my life was.

Brian McAllister: 00:16:26

Was a party.

Brian McAllister: 00:16:26

I called it partying, you know?

Brian McAllister: 00:16:28

And if I could convince myself of that, I figured I had to rewrite the software in my head.

Brian McAllister: 00:16:33

So I started that simple.

Brian McAllister: 00:16:35

And that's where.

Brian McAllister: 00:16:37

That's where I began.

Brian McAllister: 00:16:38

I got.

Brian McAllister: 00:16:38

I got a job working for minimum wage, unloading trucks and a dock of a retailer, you know, when I first got sober.

Brian McAllister: 00:16:45

And it's funny, I was there doing this, and, like, I was raised with a limited view of self.

Brian McAllister: 00:16:50

Like, you know, if you can get a good, good job and hang on to it, you know, you know, maybe a union job or something, you know, don't ever leave, you know, that's it.

Brian McAllister: 00:16:57

And I'm thinking, like, you know, I want more than that.

Brian McAllister: 00:17:00

And.

Brian McAllister: 00:17:01

And that's what I did.

Brian McAllister: 00:17:02

So I looked around on that dock, and I seen guys telling me what hours I was gonna work, how much money I was gonna make, how my family was gonna live.

Brian McAllister: 00:17:09

I'm thinking I should have these guys in my back pocket.

Brian McAllister: 00:17:12

They're really not that brightest, you know?

Brian McAllister: 00:17:14

So I started looking at it like that, and.

Brian McAllister: 00:17:17

And I started taking action on a daily basis to see how I can improve my life and the life of my family.

Mike Forster: 00:17:24

You took personal action.

Mike Forster: 00:17:26

You didn't wait to receive something from somebody else.

Mike Forster: 00:17:29

You figured out what you wanted and then started taking action and took, like, personal accountability and responsibility for things.

Brian McAllister: 00:17:36

Right, exactly.

Brian McAllister: 00:17:38

Most people try to undermine somebody in authority or their boss or this.

Brian McAllister: 00:17:42

I did just the opposite, you know, I went to the guy who was the lead man on the dock, you know, and I said, I'm probably sober six months, you know.

Brian McAllister: 00:17:49

I said, you seem to know what's going on here.

Brian McAllister: 00:17:52

You know, I mean, I said, how do you get ahead in this company?

Brian McAllister: 00:17:54

And he told me, I said, I'll make you a deal.

Brian McAllister: 00:17:57

I said, you.

Brian McAllister: 00:17:58

You teach me what you know.

Brian McAllister: 00:18:00

I said, and I delegate as much of this work to me as you can, and I do the same thing with your boss.

Brian McAllister: 00:18:06

And what happened was, he started getting promoted as I made him look good, and then he would pull me up behind him, and he would get promoted, and he pulled me a bind, and I made a deal with him.

Brian McAllister: 00:18:16

And then he hit the point where he was no longer comfortable, which happens to a lot of us all.

Brian McAllister: 00:18:21

Of a sudden, things are going good.

Brian McAllister: 00:18:22

We still start self sabotaging.

Brian McAllister: 00:18:24

I'm capable of that, too.

Brian McAllister: 00:18:26

Like, I've never been as successful for it, and I'm doing subconsciously.

Brian McAllister: 00:18:29

I start making decisions that turn people and situations against me.

Brian McAllister: 00:18:34

I'm not really comfortable with all that success.

Brian McAllister: 00:18:36

So this man did that, and I went right past, you know, like I said, I wind up having an incredible career with this company, which changed my life.

Brian McAllister: 00:18:44

The further up I went, the more people I was exposed to who can mentor me and show me things I didn't know, people who think and act differently than I, people who were already achieving the results I was trying to get is the easiest way to get there.

Mike Forster: 00:19:00

So what was different?

Mike Forster: 00:19:01

When you look at the gentleman that was your supervisor in the beginning, what's the difference between his journey and how he was acting versus, you know, like, your journey and how you were acting and thinking?

Mike Forster: 00:19:15

What was different between the two of you that caused him to, you know, self sabotage and remove himself from the ladder or the way he was climbing it?

Mike Forster: 00:19:24

And you kept going again, like, you.

Brian McAllister: 00:19:27

Know, we all have experiences we can draw.

Brian McAllister: 00:19:29

And mine was, I'm.

Brian McAllister: 00:19:30

I'm an addict, I'm an alcoholic.

Brian McAllister: 00:19:32

So it's really a disease of, you know, too much is never enough.

Brian McAllister: 00:19:36

You know, I.

Brian McAllister: 00:19:37

It's a disease of more.

Brian McAllister: 00:19:39

So I used that God given trait to move me forward.

Brian McAllister: 00:19:43

He hit a point where it was enough.

Brian McAllister: 00:19:45

You know, he's working good hours.

Brian McAllister: 00:19:47

He was making decent money.

Brian McAllister: 00:19:49

He didn't want to go too high, where he.

Brian McAllister: 00:19:51

His responsibilities weren't comfortable for him.

Brian McAllister: 00:19:54

For me, I.

Brian McAllister: 00:19:55

Like I told you, I real.

Brian McAllister: 00:19:56

I looked at it like I couldn't fail.

Brian McAllister: 00:19:58

I could just get a result.

Brian McAllister: 00:19:59

So as I kept going up the ladder, I started meeting people.

Brian McAllister: 00:20:03

I mean, that were, like, spectacularly successful billionaires who owned these companies and stuff.

Brian McAllister: 00:20:09

And it's funny because when I, you know, when I left that company, you know, I opened a couple of my own businesses, and I became an entrepreneur because I'd done very well, built a beautiful home, all the things, you know, that, you know, I lived in a tent with my wife on time for about six months.

Brian McAllister: 00:20:24

I have wandered into the Salvation army when I was younger and had a hot dog, you know what I mean?

Brian McAllister: 00:20:30

So, like, I have all these experiences, and, you know, when I got to the point where my life was looking great and my.

Brian McAllister: 00:20:39

My sister passed away from a drug overdose, and, you know, when that happened, you know, it really made me step back and look at my life like I got sober, I changed.

Brian McAllister: 00:20:49

I changed everything.

Brian McAllister: 00:20:51

An old man told me when I got.

Brian McAllister: 00:20:52

So, Brian, you gotta change one thing.

Brian McAllister: 00:20:54

I said, what's that?

Brian McAllister: 00:20:55

He said, everything.

Brian McAllister: 00:20:56

He goes, whatever you thinking, you should probably do just the opposite.

Brian McAllister: 00:20:59

You're pretty screwed up, you know what I mean?

Brian McAllister: 00:21:01

So I did that, and it made me reflect on a lot of things.

Brian McAllister: 00:21:05

s tanking, right after, like,: 2005

Brian McAllister: 00:21:13

And I didn't drink it away, I didn't drug it away, I didn't gamble it away.

Brian McAllister: 00:21:16

I just lost.

Brian McAllister: 00:21:16

It was the economy tank, so I didn't have control over that.

Brian McAllister: 00:21:20

But I did have control of how I reacted that.

Brian McAllister: 00:21:22

So I took all the experiences, my sister passing, all the heartache in the economy, all the things I saw, and I started laughing at one, watching the tv, watching my stocks go like this, you know, I started laughing.

Brian McAllister: 00:21:35

Whoever thought I'd have stock, you know, whoever thought, I know I'd all lend me all this money, you know, me, to buy all these houses and stuff.

Brian McAllister: 00:21:43

So I decided, you know, what if it was me instead of my sister who passed away that day, and what would I regret taking into eternity that I didn't do?

Brian McAllister: 00:21:54

And I came up with write a book, you know, I came up with telling somebody else how I pulled this off, how a guy like me, you know, went from.

Brian McAllister: 00:22:03

From a biker drug addict to, you know, a corporate, you know, success.

Brian McAllister: 00:22:10

And.

Brian McAllister: 00:22:10

And then I.

Brian McAllister: 00:22:11

Of course, the first thing that popped my head is I can't write a book.

Brian McAllister: 00:22:14

You know, I barely get out of high school.

Brian McAllister: 00:22:15

You, you know, like, who are you to do that?

Brian McAllister: 00:22:18

Then I realized, you know, who am I not to do that?

Brian McAllister: 00:22:22

Other people have done it.

Brian McAllister: 00:22:23

If other people have accomplished this, why can't I?

Brian McAllister: 00:22:26

And I told you that action thing.

Brian McAllister: 00:22:27

So that day, I took an action.

Brian McAllister: 00:22:29

I took a pad and a paper, and I wrote one line on that pen and paper.

Brian McAllister: 00:22:33

From that came my best selling book, full recovery.

Brian McAllister: 00:22:38

And, you know, it's amazing how that works.

Brian McAllister: 00:22:40

And, you know, the more people told me, I, you know, you'll let you.

Brian McAllister: 00:22:44

It's like when I got sober, you'll be drinking in a week.

Brian McAllister: 00:22:46

Like, my friends would tell me, like, wrong guy.

Brian McAllister: 00:22:48

I stayed sober out of spite, you know, I hate to be told I can't do something, you know?

Brian McAllister: 00:22:53

So the more they told me I wouldn't do good with the book, the more I pushed it.

Brian McAllister: 00:22:57

From there came our halfway house, and there came a treatment center, licensed facility.

Brian McAllister: 00:23:02

I had a medical facility.

Brian McAllister: 00:23:04

All the doctors are working for me.

Brian McAllister: 00:23:05

It's crazy how life works.

Brian McAllister: 00:23:07

But the difference with me and the guy who stopped going up the ladder on.

Brian McAllister: 00:23:11

On the shipping dock for that company was, I see where life is going.

Brian McAllister: 00:23:17

I ask the right questions.

Brian McAllister: 00:23:18

Is this something that I'm really interested in?

Brian McAllister: 00:23:21

Is this something that motivates me?

Brian McAllister: 00:23:22

Is this something that makes me want to get out of bed in the morning?

Brian McAllister: 00:23:25

And if I come up with the right answers, that I start taking action.

Brian McAllister: 00:23:29

And from there now we have a software company doing mental health software.

Brian McAllister: 00:23:34

So, like, who the hell knows where life's going to take you?

Brian McAllister: 00:23:37

Don't be afraid.

Brian McAllister: 00:23:37

Don't limit yourself.

Mike Forster: 00:23:39

So when those thoughts, I mean, Bill, we've all had them where it's like writing the book, you looked at it and said, I can't do it because of.

Mike Forster: 00:23:51

We've all had those for different things that have come up, opportunities, a challenge that we're facing, and it's like we disqualify ourselves right out of the gates.

Mike Forster: 00:24:04

What are you doing to strengthen yourself, to have that occur less?

Mike Forster: 00:24:09

Because you've talked about being intentional about how you see it and taking action.

Mike Forster: 00:24:13

Does that stuff in and of itself kind of set you up for success in not having those, you know, thoughts and beliefs pop up, or is there something else that you do as well?

Brian McAllister: 00:24:27

The world's libraries are just full of mentors who have more than had success, you know, always leaves clues on what they did, how they did it, and, you know, I need inspiration.

Brian McAllister: 00:24:38

You know, I can do it as much as I can myself, but the idea is I need to pump good stuff in my head, because naturally I go there.

Brian McAllister: 00:24:48

I was raised with limitation.

Brian McAllister: 00:24:49

It's very deep in my subconscious.

Brian McAllister: 00:24:52

I'm not good enough, smart enough, talented enough.

Brian McAllister: 00:24:55

I'm an alcoholic, I'm an addict.

Brian McAllister: 00:24:56

You don't have the education.

Brian McAllister: 00:24:57

I can go on and on and on and on.

Brian McAllister: 00:24:59

Before you know it, I'm circling the draindez.

Brian McAllister: 00:25:01

I'm going down, you know what I mean?

Brian McAllister: 00:25:03

And I got to interrupt that thinking pattern.

Brian McAllister: 00:25:06

That's why I put those little affirmations on my fingertips, just to interrupt that, you know, I'm sober, I'm happy, I'm wealthy, you know, I mean, all these good things.

Brian McAllister: 00:25:15

I want to help other people, and most of us have average intelligence, you know, like, it's just what we do with that.

Brian McAllister: 00:25:21

It's how we react to life's challenges, not that we can't do it.

Brian McAllister: 00:25:27

I found, too, that people will always help you, not always some people are rotten.

Brian McAllister: 00:25:31

They want to see you stay down.

Brian McAllister: 00:25:33

You know, that's the people I avoid.

Brian McAllister: 00:25:34

I jealously guard what I allowed in my head.

Brian McAllister: 00:25:37

I jealously guard who I associate with, you know, I want to be around people.

Brian McAllister: 00:25:42

If I'm the smartest guy in the room, I better get another room.

Brian McAllister: 00:25:45

I want people to tell me, tell me what you know.

Brian McAllister: 00:25:48

How did you do it?

Brian McAllister: 00:25:48

And most people want to ask sincerely, well, help you.

Brian McAllister: 00:25:52

You look what you're doing.

Brian McAllister: 00:25:53

Like, like, you know, same thing out there, you know, like, I want to see somebody else have all the joy and abundance that I've been able to manage in my life.

Mike Forster: 00:26:01

Yeah.

Mike Forster: 00:26:02

And I think passing along that belief that it's available and possible for somebody else is.

Mike Forster: 00:26:07

Is like the biggest first step, right?

Brian McAllister: 00:26:09

Yes.

Mike Forster: 00:26:09

In, in what we're doing.

Mike Forster: 00:26:11

Because once that belief is there, and we can see that from.

Mike Forster: 00:26:15

From your journey, is you got the belief, you held onto it, you took action, and that creates the momentum to continue building.

Mike Forster: 00:26:24

The confidence, the energy, the belief doesn't mean it's going to be perfect.

Mike Forster: 00:26:30

I think of the whole thing of progress, not perfection.

Mike Forster: 00:26:34

We're not searching for perfection.

Mike Forster: 00:26:36

We're just looking for improvement along the way.

Mike Forster: 00:26:40

This is an ongoing journey, and the weight of trying to be perfect isn't there.

Mike Forster: 00:26:46

It's removed because none of us are perfect.

Mike Forster: 00:26:49

So we're all equally qualified for the journey.

Brian McAllister: 00:26:53

And, you know, like, that rides me to have rolling Stone song.

Brian McAllister: 00:26:55

They'll never make a saying to me, you know what I mean?

Brian McAllister: 00:26:58

That's the way it goes.

Brian McAllister: 00:26:59

You know, like, be yourself.

Brian McAllister: 00:27:01

Everybody else is taking.

Brian McAllister: 00:27:02

And what I mean by that is, you know, we all have gifts and talents and abilities that are natural to us, things that make us feel good about being us.

Brian McAllister: 00:27:13

And that's where you should go.

Brian McAllister: 00:27:14

Like, I worked with a guy, when I say work with him, he was a client of mine, and he was, you know, he came from a very wealthy background, and I mean, extraordinary trust fund baby, super wealth.

Brian McAllister: 00:27:27

And his father was a self made man, so to speak, who was in the financial arena.

Brian McAllister: 00:27:34

And to the father, everything, anything that didn't really stick with the financial realm.

Brian McAllister: 00:27:40

Like, you weren't a Wall street guy.

Brian McAllister: 00:27:41

If you weren't a banker, you were a failure.

Brian McAllister: 00:27:43

You had to make lots of money.

Brian McAllister: 00:27:44

So this gentleman, his background or his gifts, what made him feel good?

Brian McAllister: 00:27:54

He liked sports, he liked writing, he liked creativity, things like this.

Brian McAllister: 00:28:00

And his father belittled him till the point where he was always going to be a loser if he went after that.

Brian McAllister: 00:28:06

And he wanted to become a heroin addict at like, 23.

Brian McAllister: 00:28:10

And he was 52 when I met him.

Brian McAllister: 00:28:13

I said, you're the longest living heroin attic in America, next to Keith Riddance.

Brian McAllister: 00:28:17

You got this thing sold out.

Brian McAllister: 00:28:19

But we went through the deal, and I asked him, what would you do for free?

Brian McAllister: 00:28:24

What do you like to do?

Brian McAllister: 00:28:26

Most of us never asked those questions.

Brian McAllister: 00:28:29

He talked about sports, and he said, well, what you do if you knew you couldn't fail?

Brian McAllister: 00:28:34

He says, well, I'd like to be shortstop on the Yankees.

Brian McAllister: 00:28:36

I said, well, you're 52, you're a heroin addict, and you probably couldn't play ball when you're a kid, but that gives you a clue.

Brian McAllister: 00:28:43

You like sports.

Brian McAllister: 00:28:44

You like talking about sports.

Brian McAllister: 00:28:45

How can we use that?

Brian McAllister: 00:28:47

You know what I asked him?

Brian McAllister: 00:28:49

He said, well, you know, I said, well, why but sports?

Brian McAllister: 00:28:52

You could coach a little league team.

Brian McAllister: 00:28:54

You could be a sports writer.

Brian McAllister: 00:28:56

You could, you know, go.

Brian McAllister: 00:28:58

You could sell sports memorabilia, something that you enjoy doing that makes you feel good about being you.

Brian McAllister: 00:29:04

I read a thing about Kenny Rogers, you know, that musician, years ago, and somebody asked him, you know, your family must have been an interviewer, really surprised at your success.

Brian McAllister: 00:29:12

And he says, no.

Brian McAllister: 00:29:13

He goes, well, what do you mean?

Brian McAllister: 00:29:14

He goes, well, when I was a kid, talking about what I wanted to be when I grow up, my mother asked me, what do you want to do?

Brian McAllister: 00:29:20

You know what I mean?

Brian McAllister: 00:29:21

I said, I don't know.

Brian McAllister: 00:29:21

She goes, what do you enjoy doing?

Brian McAllister: 00:29:23

Because, well, I enjoy playing guitar and singing.

Brian McAllister: 00:29:25

She says, well, that's what you should do for a living.

Brian McAllister: 00:29:28

You'll never have to work a day in your life.

Brian McAllister: 00:29:30

I was thinking, boy, how much wisdom is that instead of being told to do something that isn't in you?

Brian McAllister: 00:29:36

We all have gifts, like the software I developed, for example, that all, it's all about asking the right questions.

Brian McAllister: 00:29:42

Everybody's answers are different, but it gets you to the core of who you are.

Brian McAllister: 00:29:46

You know what I mean?

Brian McAllister: 00:29:47

And what you want to do.

Brian McAllister: 00:29:48

Socrates said it right.

Brian McAllister: 00:29:50

Man, know thyself, and you'll know the universe and the gods, you know, but you'll know what makes you feel good, and that's really the key.

Brian McAllister: 00:29:58

And unfortunately, most of us are going through life pretending to be something we're really not.

Mike Forster: 00:30:03

How do you build that success around him?

Mike Forster: 00:30:05

Are you putting him in a community where it, like, helps him to keep that vision in front of him and encourage him?

Mike Forster: 00:30:12

Because sometimes the family and friends that we have around us aren't healthy themselves and their guidance and advice can put us on the wrong path.

Mike Forster: 00:30:26

How are you setting that guy up for, like, success with the sports?

Brian McAllister: 00:30:29

Well, that's, that's really what my books and, and what the software is all about doing.

Brian McAllister: 00:30:33

And it's something that we give people permission to be themselves.

Brian McAllister: 00:30:39

We give them permission to explore beyond the present limited status, and that's really what it's all about.

Brian McAllister: 00:30:47

And I'll share some personal experience.

Brian McAllister: 00:30:49

Like, I'm from a long line of irish Catholic alcoholics.

Brian McAllister: 00:30:52

You know, birds, flies, fish, swim.

Brian McAllister: 00:30:54

We drank.

Brian McAllister: 00:30:55

You know, that's what we did.

Brian McAllister: 00:30:56

You know, I never thought anything about it.

Brian McAllister: 00:30:58

It's just kind of the way things were and, you know, like, I was given a lot of advice by a lot of people, and it was all limitation advice.

Brian McAllister: 00:31:07

Like I said earlier, like, you know, with the type of work I was going to do, the type of job I could have, the type of life I could live, you know, and even the way I acted and reacted to life, you know, and I realized now that a lot of it was bad advice, and I accepted it along the way because, you know, it was given by people who loved me.

Brian McAllister: 00:31:26

And the thing is, it wasn't good advice.

Brian McAllister: 00:31:27

And I had to have the courage, and I mean that to break out.

Brian McAllister: 00:31:31

When I got sober, my, my dad and me were just a drink, you know, I mean, he was not real thrilled.

Brian McAllister: 00:31:38

You know, he was kind of ashamed that I went and, you know, I had to go into a detox and all this other stuff.

Brian McAllister: 00:31:43

And he's like shaking his head at me, you know.

Brian McAllister: 00:31:45

It's funny, though, the way things work.

Brian McAllister: 00:31:47

I went on my own.

Brian McAllister: 00:31:49

I went my own way and I did my own thing and had all these incredible experiences.

Brian McAllister: 00:31:53

And when he was 66, the age I am right now, he called me one day and he says he was dying.

Brian McAllister: 00:31:59

He was drinking himself to death.

Brian McAllister: 00:32:01

And I was like, then I was probably in my forties.

Brian McAllister: 00:32:04

And he said, you seem relatively happy.

Brian McAllister: 00:32:07

What are you doing?

Brian McAllister: 00:32:08

And I told him what I was doing.

Brian McAllister: 00:32:09

He's 91 now.

Brian McAllister: 00:32:11

He's got a problem with dementia.

Brian McAllister: 00:32:13

But until he was in his late eighties, he got another 25 years of life because he did the same thing I did and he got the same result.

Brian McAllister: 00:32:21

I'll give you another example.

Brian McAllister: 00:32:23

I had a guy I worked with, he was arrested and he was put in the psych ward, and he had all kinds of issues.

Brian McAllister: 00:32:30

And when he got out, we got him sober.

Brian McAllister: 00:32:33

And I see him, he's reading like a book a day.

Brian McAllister: 00:32:36

I've never seen anybody read like this.

Brian McAllister: 00:32:38

I said to him, I said, what's your story.

Brian McAllister: 00:32:40

You seem pretty bright.

Brian McAllister: 00:32:41

He says, I should be bright.

Brian McAllister: 00:32:43

I've got a master's from the London school of economics.

Brian McAllister: 00:32:46

I'm like, really?

Brian McAllister: 00:32:47

What are you doing?

Brian McAllister: 00:32:48

You know, what are you doing in the psych ward?

Brian McAllister: 00:32:50

We started talking.

Brian McAllister: 00:32:51

So, you know, he started telling me, I said, what would you do if you could succeed?

Brian McAllister: 00:32:56

What do you want from life?

Brian McAllister: 00:32:57

He says, well, I want a spouse, somebody of a real, a real loving relationship.

Brian McAllister: 00:33:03

I said, that's great.

Brian McAllister: 00:33:04

What's your track record?

Brian McAllister: 00:33:05

He's already been, he's like 30.

Brian McAllister: 00:33:07

He's been divorced twice.

Brian McAllister: 00:33:08

I said, well, you know, who do you talk to about that?

Brian McAllister: 00:33:11

He said, my mother.

Brian McAllister: 00:33:12

My mother loves me and she always has my best interest at heart.

Brian McAllister: 00:33:15

I said, what's her deal?

Brian McAllister: 00:33:17

She divorced four times.

Brian McAllister: 00:33:18

I said, okay, so, you know, this is who you're getting advice from, like your dopey friend, your mother, whatever.

Brian McAllister: 00:33:23

So then I said, what about, what about work?

Brian McAllister: 00:33:26

You know, I know you're like this financial whiz.

Brian McAllister: 00:33:28

You're working on Wall street and all this stuff.

Brian McAllister: 00:33:29

You know, you're in the nut house.

Brian McAllister: 00:33:31

He says, he says.

Brian McAllister: 00:33:33

I said, what do you like about your job?

Brian McAllister: 00:33:34

He says, nothing.

Brian McAllister: 00:33:35

I hate it.

Brian McAllister: 00:33:36

I said, well, what are you doing?

Brian McAllister: 00:33:38

He goes, well, you know, I was brought up that you have to be on Wall street to make all this money.

Brian McAllister: 00:33:43

I said, well, who do you talk to about that?

Brian McAllister: 00:33:45

Guess who?

Brian McAllister: 00:33:46

My mother.

Brian McAllister: 00:33:47

You know what I mean?

Brian McAllister: 00:33:48

My mother loves me and she wants my best.

Brian McAllister: 00:33:50

So finally I said, again, well, what's your mother's history?

Brian McAllister: 00:33:53

What does she do?

Brian McAllister: 00:33:54

She's a landscaper.

Brian McAllister: 00:33:56

I was like, okay.

Brian McAllister: 00:33:58

I said, I see a little pattern going here.

Brian McAllister: 00:34:00

Like you're asking advice from somebody who's not getting the results you want.

Brian McAllister: 00:34:05

I said, your mother, if you want to be a landscaper and be divorced four times, keep talking to her.

Brian McAllister: 00:34:10

But if you want to talk, doesn't mean you don't have to.

Brian McAllister: 00:34:12

You're still lovers.

Brian McAllister: 00:34:12

You're still your mother.

Brian McAllister: 00:34:13

But you might want to find somebody else to emulate who's already achieving the result and save a lot of steps.

Brian McAllister: 00:34:19

I can choose what actions I'm going to take.

Brian McAllister: 00:34:22

Doesn't mean I have to cut loose my family, doesn't mean I have to, you know, disavow all my friends.

Brian McAllister: 00:34:27

It just means if they're not getting the results I want, why am I asking?

Brian McAllister: 00:34:32

It's like trying to get sober for me, but a guy who's still drinking, you know me, it wouldn't have worked out.

Brian McAllister: 00:34:36

Well, it'd be buying me a beer.

Mike Forster: 00:34:38

Yeah.

Mike Forster: 00:34:38

The people that we take advice from, it's like we really need to be intentional and cognizant of where they're at and use that as the track record for if we can listen to the advice.

Mike Forster: 00:34:55

But taking action on their advice is a completely different thing.

Mike Forster: 00:34:59

Like you were talking about the mom being divorced.

Mike Forster: 00:35:02

Know, four times, there's something missing there or, you know, a hurt that is just causing that same pattern to repeat.

Mike Forster: 00:35:13

And it can be the same thing, like with finances or, you know, health habits, whatever the case may be.

Mike Forster: 00:35:21

Career, you know, like you said, look for somebody that is in the place you want to be and take advice from the right people.

Brian McAllister: 00:35:32

Exactly.

Mike Forster: 00:35:33

I had to learn that lesson the hard way as well, Brian.

Brian McAllister: 00:35:36

Yeah, we all have, you know, but the thing is, you know, do what they did and you'll get what they got, you know, is the old saying, and that's the deal.

Brian McAllister: 00:35:44

Like, you're not, if you don't like what they're getting, you know, why.

Brian McAllister: 00:35:47

Why are you taking their advice?

Brian McAllister: 00:35:49

Doesn't mean, like I said, you don't have a relationship, you don't love them, but, you know, it's not fitting into what you're trying to accomplish, you know?

Brian McAllister: 00:35:58

So I still do that with the.

Mike Forster: 00:36:01

Software that you've designed, Brian, like, how it's helping people to change and get the results and stay on that path.

Mike Forster: 00:36:11

How does the software work alongside of me, and how do I put in my goals or kind of give it the.

Mike Forster: 00:36:22

The target that I'm going for?

Brian McAllister: 00:36:24

It's pretty incredible stuff.

Brian McAllister: 00:36:26

It's.

Brian McAllister: 00:36:27

It's video driven, so, you know, and it's completely searchable.

Brian McAllister: 00:36:31

It's got goal setting workshops.

Brian McAllister: 00:36:34

It's got all types of content, you know, on life, on finances, on love, on relationships, on.

Brian McAllister: 00:36:41

You name it, on sobriety, on recovery, on, you know, depression.

Brian McAllister: 00:36:46

You name it.

Brian McAllister: 00:36:46

It's.

Brian McAllister: 00:36:46

It's really.

Brian McAllister: 00:36:47

There's nothing like it.

Brian McAllister: 00:36:48

And I'm pretty proud of it, as you can tell.

Brian McAllister: 00:36:51

And the deal is, it asks the right questions, ask better questions, you'll get better answers, you know, so the.

Brian McAllister: 00:36:58

Everybody's answers are going to be different.

Brian McAllister: 00:36:59

And the idea is, like, if you read a lot of self help books, you know, you put it down, you liked, it was good.

Brian McAllister: 00:37:04

Now, everything that you do in this every day is.

Brian McAllister: 00:37:09

It's actionable, you know, I mean, it's not.

Brian McAllister: 00:37:11

It's not just giving you the answers.

Brian McAllister: 00:37:13

It's making you come up with what fits for your needs.

Brian McAllister: 00:37:16

And it's actionable.

Brian McAllister: 00:37:17

It gives you the next step.

Brian McAllister: 00:37:19

You know, for me, for example, you know, when I, when I came out of treatment, I was unemployable.

Brian McAllister: 00:37:24

I really was.

Brian McAllister: 00:37:25

I was, I didn't work for a long time.

Brian McAllister: 00:37:26

I was banged up.

Brian McAllister: 00:37:27

I couldn't think.

Brian McAllister: 00:37:29

I couldn't read.

Brian McAllister: 00:37:30

How's that?

Brian McAllister: 00:37:31

I was so banged up that the words would just move around the paper.

Brian McAllister: 00:37:36

So, you know, I wound up, I wound up getting a job at displaced.

Brian McAllister: 00:37:42

I looked at it like a drug addict.

Brian McAllister: 00:37:44

I wouldn't leave till I got what I wanted.

Brian McAllister: 00:37:46

I kept going down there, you know, I wrote a resume, something so silly for like, a little minimum wage job, unloading trucks, and they almost fell over.

Brian McAllister: 00:37:54

Like, nobody's ever had a resume or something like this before.

Brian McAllister: 00:37:57

But I wanted to separate myself from, from the pack.

Brian McAllister: 00:38:01

I wanted to stand out.

Brian McAllister: 00:38:03

I wanted to be able to show that I had initiative, you know?

Brian McAllister: 00:38:08

So, like, simple things like that, you know, and we give you all these ways of getting, figuring out what you want, what you're good at, what's been holding you back.

Brian McAllister: 00:38:21

We give you the whys, and then we give you steps you could take to move it forward.

Brian McAllister: 00:38:25

It's almost like question answer, question answer, and then it all goes into your full recovery action plan.

Brian McAllister: 00:38:32

So you have, step by step, you'll have a full year's worth of action steps to move you towards whatever your goals are.

Brian McAllister: 00:38:39

Our goal is you should have at least one life altering project by the time you're done going through this process.

Brian McAllister: 00:38:46

And you could do it over and over again.

Brian McAllister: 00:38:47

Like, look at me.

Brian McAllister: 00:38:48

I went from, from a retail, you know, business to, you know, to writing books.

Brian McAllister: 00:38:55

I had a real estate investment company that I ran for years.

Brian McAllister: 00:38:58

I started a construction.

Brian McAllister: 00:39:00

I was a licensed builder, you know, all these things.

Brian McAllister: 00:39:02

But it's like when I get bored, like, all sudden, I reach my goal, you know, like, rather than stick with it forever, I just met, set a bigger goal, you know, and I, and I start getting excited because I know I'm going to learn something new.

Brian McAllister: 00:39:15

Like, I know nothing about software yet.

Brian McAllister: 00:39:17

I own a software company, you know, so it's kind of interesting the way life works.

Brian McAllister: 00:39:22

And we all have that in us, every one of us.

Brian McAllister: 00:39:25

And, you know, it's just having the courage to just take that step.

Brian McAllister: 00:39:30

You know, they say bail forward fast.

Brian McAllister: 00:39:32

If you fail, who cares?

Brian McAllister: 00:39:33

Just keep moving ahead.

Brian McAllister: 00:39:36

Yeah.

Mike Forster: 00:39:36

Yeah.

Mike Forster: 00:39:37

It's, it's not about, like we talked about earlier, being perfect.

Mike Forster: 00:39:40

It's about continuing to challenge and move forward and keep at it being consistent.

Mike Forster: 00:39:46

It's, I think we give too much credit to it being like a big event when it's the small micro decisions and actions that we take on a daily basis that really kind of create that compound effect in the life that in our life that we're looking for.

Brian McAllister: 00:40:04

Sure.

Brian McAllister: 00:40:05

If you improve 1% a day, at the end of the year, how many thousands of percent would you improve?

Brian McAllister: 00:40:10

You know, anything, it's not even improving.

Brian McAllister: 00:40:13

If it's not fun.

Brian McAllister: 00:40:15

If life isn't fun, you're not doing it right.

Brian McAllister: 00:40:18

You know, you're really not.

Brian McAllister: 00:40:20

It should be a game you can win and enjoy.

Brian McAllister: 00:40:23

And, you know, I have so much to be blessed and thankful for and grateful for.

Brian McAllister: 00:40:30

I can't even put it into words.

Brian McAllister: 00:40:32

You know, I spent, you know, I totaled my harley one time, and I took the helicopter ride in and, you know, I had plates and screws and pins.

Brian McAllister: 00:40:42

I broke my back.

Brian McAllister: 00:40:42

It took me years to get off of crutches.

Brian McAllister: 00:40:44

I had to learn how to walk.

Brian McAllister: 00:40:46

Traumatic brain injury.

Brian McAllister: 00:40:47

The whole night, you name it, I broke a evil Knievel type accident.

Brian McAllister: 00:40:51

And, uh, the first thing I did was get out of my hospital bed, throw my crutches over the railing, hop down the stairs, and walk a mile to the bar, 110 degree phoenix e, to get a drink.

Brian McAllister: 00:41:04

You know, it wasn't the, it wasn't the alcohol or drugs that did it.

Brian McAllister: 00:41:08

It was just a bad break that could have happened to anybody, you know?

Brian McAllister: 00:41:11

So, like, I had to make sure that I changed.

Brian McAllister: 00:41:13

Like, the guy told me one thing, everything.

Brian McAllister: 00:41:15

The way I looked at life had to change.

Brian McAllister: 00:41:18

And the first thing was finding people who got the results I wanted and asking them how they did it and people who weren't in that wheelhouse.

Brian McAllister: 00:41:27

I had a friendly, no, no problem.

Brian McAllister: 00:41:30

Just.

Brian McAllister: 00:41:31

But I can't go there.

Brian McAllister: 00:41:32

I have limited time at 24 hours in a day.

Brian McAllister: 00:41:35

And how I use that time to a great extent will affect the type of life I'm going to live.

Mike Forster: 00:41:41

Yeah.

Mike Forster: 00:41:42

And I think in that story, you've shown how much strength and power and resiliency we have just in who we are.

Mike Forster: 00:41:49

I mean, if you're, like, sitting there, hey, I'm broken up, but yet I'm.

Mike Forster: 00:41:52

I'm able to go to the bar to get something I want.

Mike Forster: 00:41:55

It's the power of what you're after, right?

Mike Forster: 00:41:59

That goal, because it could be anything else that moves you to do that as well.

Mike Forster: 00:42:05

It's just in that situation, was the alcohol pulling you there?

Mike Forster: 00:42:10

So you talked about books like being mentors, libraries, being full of mentors.

Mike Forster: 00:42:18

When you look back.

Mike Forster: 00:42:19

Who are two or three of those mentors that wrote out their thoughts in books that helped you the most along the way.

Brian McAllister: 00:42:32

I read a lot of biographies like Henry Ford.

Brian McAllister: 00:42:36

Uh, it was, was pretty interesting.

Brian McAllister: 00:42:39

And Henry Ford had once, one situation where he was expanding his company, and he failed a bunch of times.

Brian McAllister: 00:42:44

You know that, right?

Brian McAllister: 00:42:45

He didn't just start out banging out the assembly line.

Brian McAllister: 00:42:48

He actually went under a few times trying to get this thing going.

Brian McAllister: 00:42:51

So, like, instead of looking at the failure, he, he rewrote it and went back to the drawing board.

Brian McAllister: 00:42:55

So I'll try something else.

Brian McAllister: 00:42:57

That's really the key to it.

Brian McAllister: 00:42:59

He had a deal where, you know, he was going to expand his plan for the first time, so he didn't know where to get people.

Brian McAllister: 00:43:04

This was a new industry.

Brian McAllister: 00:43:05

Nobody ever did it.

Brian McAllister: 00:43:06

So he, he asked his managers, give, send me up 100 people from the floor who are the best workers we have.

Brian McAllister: 00:43:13

So he made the offer to, you know, if you want to take some classes at night, we're not going to pay you, but if my things, we're going to put you in management.

Brian McAllister: 00:43:22

You'll be able to make more money, a better hour with the whole deal.

Brian McAllister: 00:43:25

I'll give you 24 hours to make your mind up.

Brian McAllister: 00:43:28

So you figured they let them go home and talk to their, their spouses.

Brian McAllister: 00:43:31

The next day, he was shocked.

Brian McAllister: 00:43:33

Only a handful of guys took it.

Brian McAllister: 00:43:35

Everybody else didn't take it.

Brian McAllister: 00:43:37

They were afraid to move forward.

Brian McAllister: 00:43:39

They had a decent job the third day, you know, so the 24 hours were up.

Brian McAllister: 00:43:43

The third day, half of them came back, says, well, I rethought it, and I, maybe I'll take that job.

Brian McAllister: 00:43:50

And none of them would he take.

Brian McAllister: 00:43:51

He says, I found people that when given all the right information, they can't make commitments, you know, and they're afraid to move forward.

Brian McAllister: 00:44:00

When the going gets tough, they'll be the first to run, go back to the assembly line.

Brian McAllister: 00:44:05

Success leaves clues, you know, I, you know, of course, you know, think and grow rich, and some of the classics like that from Napoleon Hill are really good to read.

Brian McAllister: 00:44:14

My book, full recovery, you know, and same deal.

Brian McAllister: 00:44:18

It's that type of, that type of a book.

Brian McAllister: 00:44:20

And I, uh, I believe, I believe that everybody with this average intelligence and the ability to take action and follows the step by step stuff that I lay out, there's no way you can improve your life.

Brian McAllister: 00:44:37

You can get what you want, you know, another thing is a lot of people, they say they want something and they really don't want it at all.

Brian McAllister: 00:44:45

Like, you know, like you say, like, well, I wanted to be in business for myself.

Brian McAllister: 00:44:48

You gotta ask yourself the question.

Brian McAllister: 00:44:49

Why do I think I'm gonna get prestige?

Brian McAllister: 00:44:54

Do I wanna, you know, I think I can get more money.

Brian McAllister: 00:44:56

You know what?

Brian McAllister: 00:44:57

Why do you want it?

Brian McAllister: 00:44:58

I wanna have children.

Brian McAllister: 00:44:59

Well, why do you want kids?

Brian McAllister: 00:45:00

Want love?

Brian McAllister: 00:45:00

Do you wanna give it?

Brian McAllister: 00:45:01

Do your friends have kids?

Brian McAllister: 00:45:02

Do you wanna continue on your legacy, your bloodline?

Brian McAllister: 00:45:06

Why?

Brian McAllister: 00:45:07

Because a lot of times we say we want something, but we really don't want it at all.

Brian McAllister: 00:45:11

Somebody else told us, like the guy in the finance, that's what we should have, you know?

Brian McAllister: 00:45:16

So the part of the process is getting down to it.

Brian McAllister: 00:45:19

What do you want?

Brian McAllister: 00:45:20

Why you want it?

Brian McAllister: 00:45:21

How are you going to lay out your game playing to get it, and then just start taking daily small steps towards achieving your goal?

Brian McAllister: 00:45:28

Eventually, they'll get there.

Brian McAllister: 00:45:30

I know it.

Brian McAllister: 00:45:30

I do it all the time.

Mike Forster: 00:45:32

Yeah.

Mike Forster: 00:45:33

I love the fact, Brian, that there's that common thread again, of commitment, you know, that you've talked about, man.

Mike Forster: 00:45:40

It was a commitment that I.

Mike Forster: 00:45:42

I made, and I stuck with it and got the change that I was looking for, especially over the long haul, you know, seeing where things have gone from where they were to where they are now.

Mike Forster: 00:45:55

Well, Brian, how can guys reach out to you and connect outside of this podcast?

Brian McAllister: 00:45:59

Bryan, you can reach out to me at either VRs for virtual recovery system.

Brian McAllister: 00:46:07

That's our thing up.

Brian McAllister: 00:46:08

Freedom three six five.com.

Brian McAllister: 00:46:12

we started a little nonprofit.

Brian McAllister: 00:46:14

It's the same type of stuff that we talked about.

Brian McAllister: 00:46:17

Plus it's got some post traumatic stress stuff with a lot of our veterans are struggling.

Brian McAllister: 00:46:21

And you could download it for free if you got a couple of bucks, throw it in there, because it allows us to keep giving it away.

Brian McAllister: 00:46:26

It's a nonprofit and it's tax deductible.

Brian McAllister: 00:46:29

But you go to mymentalhealth.org and you can reach me there.

Brian McAllister: 00:46:33

And if not, you could also go to.

Brian McAllister: 00:46:38

I'll give you.

Brian McAllister: 00:46:39

How's this?

Brian McAllister: 00:46:39

I'll give you my email.

Brian McAllister: 00:46:41

Put it out there.

Brian McAllister: 00:46:42

Email me.

Brian McAllister: 00:46:43

My.

Brian McAllister: 00:46:43

My email is B.

Brian McAllister: 00:46:46

McAllister.

Brian McAllister: 00:46:47

Mcal is t E r at full F U l L.

Brian McAllister: 00:46:52

Then the hyphen recovery.com.

Brian McAllister: 00:46:55

b.

Brian McAllister: 00:46:56

McAllister at full recovery.com.

Brian McAllister: 00:46:59

and, you know, give me some time.

Brian McAllister: 00:47:01

I promise I will get back to you.

Brian McAllister: 00:47:03

And I wish everybody out there, you know, I wish you success, whatever that vision of success is, whether it's just being a better father, whether it's just being a better parent, whether it's being the head of IBM, whatever that thing is for you.

Brian McAllister: 00:47:18

Go for it.

Brian McAllister: 00:47:19

Like I said, this is not a dress rehearsal.

Brian McAllister: 00:47:21

This is it.

Brian McAllister: 00:47:22

This is your life.

Mike Forster: 00:47:25

Brian, I so appreciate, thank you for sharing your story and just that, you know, it's about the commitment and keeping that daily, you know, investment there, taking the action.

Mike Forster: 00:47:38

And Brian, I really appreciate you providing your email address.

Mike Forster: 00:47:42

I'll put that in the show notes.

Mike Forster: 00:47:43

That's huge.

Mike Forster: 00:47:43

So thank you again, my friend.

Mike Forster: 00:47:45

I appreciate it.

Brian McAllister: 00:47:46

Thank you.

Mike Forster: 00:47:52

Thanks so much, my friend, for joining me on another episode.

Mike Forster: 00:47:55

If you found the information within the show helpful, please leave a review on the platform you're listening to helps raise the show's visibility so other men can join us in breaking free.

Mike Forster: 00:48:04

See you on the next episode.

Mike Forster: 00:48:06

And remember to continue putting yourself out there.

Mike Forster: 00:48:08

Have a great one.