Episode 341

From Hoping for a Better Life to Actively Creating It with Brian McAlister

Published on: 17th September, 2024

Brian McAlister discusses how to create a better life by facing self-doubt and pursuing passions with an understanding of the power of intentional action. He recounts personal stories of transformation such as conquering addiction and dispelling limiting beliefs, many from family members. Brian revealed the importance of self discovery, surrounding yourself with positive people and setting goals to stay motivated.

Brian's transformation, from struggling with addiction to finding empowerment and his commitment to seeking guidance from mentors, came together because he took action rather than waiting on the sidelines or for fear to subside. It's not about being perfect in your execution or planning, but instead setting out on a course and correcting along the way as you make progress towards your goals and dreams.


In this episode, you will be able to:

  • Discover how to transform your life from addiction to recovery and find hope for a better tomorrow.
  • Explore the benefits of surrounding yourself with positive people and taking advice from those who are living the life you desire.
  • Uncover the importance of resilience in personal transformation and how it can lead to lasting change and growth.
  • Learn effective strategies for setting and achieving life goals, empowering you to reach your full potential.
  • Harness the power of commitment and action to overcome adversity and thrive in the face of challenges.


The key moments in this episode are:

00:14:33 - Making a Decision and Taking Action

00:18:29 - Dealing with Success and Self-Sabotage

00:25:07 - Overcoming Self-Doubt and Seeking Mentorship

00:31:22 - Surrounding Yourself with Positive Influences

00:38:02 - The Power of Asking the Right Questions

00:42:01 - Overcoming Adversity and Finding Gratitude

00:44:04 - Learning from Mentors and Biographies


Connect with Brian McAlister

Websites

https://www.vrsfreedom365.com/

https://www.mymentalhealth.org/


LInkedIn

https://www.linkedin.com/in/david-nordel-85265246/


Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/dnordel1


Email

bmcalister@full-recovery.com

 

Connect with Mike Forrester

Podcast Website

https://LivingFearlessTodayPodcast.com

 

Coaching Website

https://www.hicoachmike.com/

 

LinkedIn

https://www.linkedin.com/in/hicoachmike/

 

Youtube

https://www.youtube.com/@hicoachmike

 

Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/hicoachmike

 

Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/hicoachmike

Transcript
Mike Forrester:

Well, hello and welcome back, my friend.

Mike Forrester:

Man, today I'm joined by Brian McAlister and Brian has just an amazing story of

Mike Forrester:

transformation showing us that where we're at is not where we're stuck.

Mike Forrester:

That's not what we're relegated to.

Mike Forrester:

Instead, you're going to hear from Brian's story that he went from

Mike Forrester:

addiction to transformation, helping other people to find the freedom that

Mike Forrester:

he's experiencing in his own life.

Mike Forrester:

So that is available to each of us.

Mike Forrester:

And I hope from Brian's story today that you're going to see that.

Mike Forrester:

Hey, yeah, that path is there for you as well, and it's a matter of plugging

Mike Forrester:

in, taking that step and not giving up.

Mike Forrester:

Brian's got resiliency in a story, finding self worth, his identity and,

Mike Forrester:

and obviously his purpose, right?

Mike Forrester:

Because he's investing in other people at this point now that he has found that

Mike Forrester:

healthy path and the practice for himself.

Mike Forrester:

So Brian, how are you doing today?

Mike Forrester:

My friend?

Brian McAlister:

I'm doing excellent.

Brian McAlister:

Excellent.

Brian McAlister:

Thanks for having me on Mike.

Mike Forrester:

Absolutely.

Mike Forrester:

It's a pleasure.

Mike Forrester:

And I'm just from our, our conversation that we've had before.

Mike Forrester:

And you and I see a lot of the similarities and, and love giving

Mike Forrester:

to encourage others that it's like, you know, You're not stuck

Mike Forrester:

and that there is more out there.

Mike Forrester:

It's a matter of putting in the work and that, you know, continuing that work.

Mike Forrester:

Right.

Mike Forrester:

So I appreciate it, my friend.

Mike Forrester:

Let's, let's jump in and start on like, what does life look like for you today

Mike Forrester:

on the professional side of things?

Brian McAlister:

Uh, professionally, I'm the CEO of, uh, uh, of a, uh,

Brian McAlister:

Software company that develops mental health software for people with trauma,

Brian McAlister:

anxiety, PTSD, and substance use disorder.

Brian McAlister:

I'm the founder and CEO of the Full Recovery Wellness Center, which was, uh, I

Brian McAlister:

closed it maybe, Maybe six months ago, it was open for about 15 years and it was a

Brian McAlister:

licensed treatment facility in New Jersey.

Brian McAlister:

And they really dealt mostly with, uh, first responders.

Brian McAlister:

There's a lot of first responders, you know, they get injured on the job, they

Brian McAlister:

get exposed to medication and things like that, and they wind up with the

Brian McAlister:

same problems as everybody else does.

Brian McAlister:

Um, and then, uh, prior to that, I was the, uh, leader of, of, of, uh,

Brian McAlister:

One of the top people in a fortune, not 100 fortune 10 company that,

Brian McAlister:

uh, I ran 110 stores for one of the biggest retailers in the country.

Brian McAlister:

I started as a, uh, unloading trucks for them.

Brian McAlister:

And I wound up in that position after a relatively short period of time.

Brian McAlister:

And like right now, my professional life is good.

Brian McAlister:

I have choices, you know, I'm, I'm not dealing with financial scarcity.

Brian McAlister:

I'm not dealing with, uh, personal challenges with my family, with my spouse.

Brian McAlister:

And, um, I'm, I'm, I'm in a good place.

Brian McAlister:

I'm in a good place.

Brian McAlister:

And my whole goal is to, uh, To give back and show people how, how I pulled

Brian McAlister:

it off, how a guy like me was, if I can do it, anybody can do it just takes

Brian McAlister:

time, effort, plan, action, and the work, you said it in the beginning.

Brian McAlister:

A lot of hard work.

Mike Forrester:

Yeah.

Mike Forrester:

It's that hard work and like a cumulative amount of hard work.

Mike Forrester:

I mean, I, at this point, Brian, I'm like, , we're, we're still, you know, in process.

Mike Forrester:

Yep.

Mike Forrester:

And, uh, still making end roads, you know.

Mike Forrester:

It's almost like things unfold as more and more work, you

Mike Forrester:

know, that that is put into it.

Mike Forrester:

New things surface that I couldn't see before.

Mike Forrester:

Um, and so it's like those layers are always there to be worked on.

Mike Forrester:

But man, the benefits from the work, um, do this.

Mike Forrester:

It's just unbelievable.

Mike Forrester:

And I can't imagine going back and I'm sure that's the same for you, Brian.

Brian McAlister:

No, you know, and what's lucky is I have, I look at it like I

Brian McAlister:

have two lives for the price of one.

Brian McAlister:

I know that whole dark side of myself.

Brian McAlister:

I know the whole struggle, the, the feeling less than the, you know,

Brian McAlister:

the limited vision of the future.

Brian McAlister:

And I know this side, you know, so I, I know I feel that's a blessing.

Brian McAlister:

So now we'll add hard living.

Brian McAlister:

I did, I could put to good use.

Mike Forrester:

Yeah.

Mike Forrester:

exactly.

Mike Forrester:

All the, all the knocks that we got on the way, uh, to where we are now,

Mike Forrester:

. Brian McAlister: Exactly.

Mike Forrester:

Well, let's jump over to the personal side.

Mike Forrester:

What does life look like personally?

Brian McAlister:

Um, personally, I'm, I'm married to the same woman

Brian McAlister:

for 47 years, you know, like, uh, she's the love of my life.

Brian McAlister:

Uh, we got married.

Brian McAlister:

Teenagers and, uh, you know, we took off.

Brian McAlister:

I told her when I married her, I was going to take her on

Brian McAlister:

the adventure of a lifetime.

Brian McAlister:

I guarantee I filled that bill.

Brian McAlister:

You know, we, uh, we lived all over the country.

Brian McAlister:

We jumped out of Harley and took off.

Brian McAlister:

You know, we lived that type of lifestyle, lived in a tent.

Brian McAlister:

Camped out and all that.

Brian McAlister:

And, you know, she's the love of my life and I'm, I'm blessed.

Brian McAlister:

I have a son who, uh, lives in Manhattan.

Brian McAlister:

He's, uh, runs his own business.

Brian McAlister:

You know, he's doing very well for himself.

Brian McAlister:

Uh, my personal life is I, I do still belong to a 12 step program, which is,

Brian McAlister:

uh, something that keeps me grounded and allows me to, to, uh, contribute

Brian McAlister:

beyond business, contributing beyond, uh, the things I do for a living.

Brian McAlister:

And it involves really just giving back.

Brian McAlister:

If somebody wasn't there when I crawled into the 12 step rooms way

Brian McAlister:

back when I wouldn't be sitting here.

Brian McAlister:

So I, I owe, I owe a debt.

Brian McAlister:

I can never repay.

Mike Forrester:

Yeah, I think it's keeping that perspective and not losing

Mike Forrester:

sight of like our origins kind of keeps us humble, but also gives us like that,

Mike Forrester:

resiliency and perspective, right.

Mike Forrester:

To continue on without, um, you know, sliding back into.

Mike Forrester:

Old habits, old beliefs, and, uh, getting back into those ruts that,

Mike Forrester:

that were comfortable at one time.

Brian McAlister:

And they're there.

Brian McAlister:

You know, I've been, I've been, uh, away from drugs and alcohol for 33 years.

Brian McAlister:

I'm sober.

Brian McAlister:

August 2nd, if I don't get high and I don't die, I'll have 34 years

Brian McAlister:

and, uh, you know, life happens.

Brian McAlister:

I mean, I've lost all types of people.

Brian McAlister:

My dad's got severe dementia.

Brian McAlister:

He's 91 years old.

Brian McAlister:

You know, so like all these things happen, but the thing is, because I got better,

Brian McAlister:

I'm able to deal with them, you know, I'm able to deal with life on life's

Brian McAlister:

terms and that's really the gift, you know, and everybody can get this gift.

Brian McAlister:

It's out there.

Mike Forrester:

Yeah.

Mike Forrester:

And that is such like a powerful perspective, Brian, like.

Mike Forrester:

I look at things that are going on right now and have for like the last five years

Mike Forrester:

with, you know, parents and, and family.

Mike Forrester:

And just like you're talking about dementia with your dad, right?

Mike Forrester:

Man, Brian, before I would have run for the hills.

Mike Forrester:

I would have medicated.

Mike Forrester:

I would have.

Mike Forrester:

Avoided or just tried to act ignorant of the whole situation to cope with it.

Mike Forrester:

Whereas now it's like I can walk through it.

Mike Forrester:

I can address it and help being part of the solution to the situation

Mike Forrester:

instead of Almost adding like napalm.

Brian McAlister:

Yeah.

Brian McAlister:

Yeah.

Brian McAlister:

Like it's where NATO going through everybody's life, you know what I mean?

Brian McAlister:

Bouncing off the bumpers of life.

Brian McAlister:

That's kind of what I did for many years.

Brian McAlister:

And, uh, you know, it, it, it is really true.

Brian McAlister:

I'm sure you heard that acronym for fear, you know, false evidence appears real.

Brian McAlister:

You know, I like the one that says face everything and recover, you know, so

Brian McAlister:

you stand up, you man up, you do the right thing, you take the right action.

Brian McAlister:

And when you do, that's all you can do.

Brian McAlister:

Yeah.

Brian McAlister:

You know, you can't, you know, I, I can't change life or everybody

Brian McAlister:

around me, but I can't change how I react to all these situations, you

Brian McAlister:

know, and I'd rather be part of the solution than part of the problem.

Mike Forrester:

A hundred percent.

Mike Forrester:

And I think it was almost like you're talking about not being

Mike Forrester:

able to change people around you.

Mike Forrester:

And I think that was like an excuse or a way out was trying

Mike Forrester:

to change the people around me.

Mike Forrester:

And making my changes contingent upon their changes.

Mike Forrester:

Like when my wife does this, then I'll do that.

Mike Forrester:

No surprise that stuff never happened.

Mike Forrester:

So I never changed.

Mike Forrester:

And it wasn't until I took that responsibility that then

Mike Forrester:

things began to change for me.

Mike Forrester:

It was, is that something like you've experienced and seen as well?

Brian McAlister:

And you know, like if I, you know, if I have enough money, you

Brian McAlister:

know, if I have enough, you know, uh, success, if I have whatever, whatever

Brian McAlister:

I was looking for in the future, you know, people are always hoping life

Brian McAlister:

will get better, but most people aren't living the life they're hoping for.

Brian McAlister:

You know what I mean?

Brian McAlister:

You've got to take action, intelligent, daily, constructive action.

Brian McAlister:

Like for me, you know, I realized once I put the plug in the jug and

Brian McAlister:

stopped doing drugs and all these other things that my life was a mess.

Brian McAlister:

I had spent two decades, uh, literally tearing it up.

Brian McAlister:

And, you know, I decided then that, you know, I'm an adult.

Brian McAlister:

I can have, I used to blame my family.

Brian McAlister:

There was a lot of alcoholism and a lot of different things in my, in my

Brian McAlister:

past that, uh, you know, I, I could use as excuses as to why I had not

Brian McAlister:

been successful up to that point.

Brian McAlister:

I didn't have an education.

Brian McAlister:

I didn't go to college, you know, and I, I just had to throw that stuff away.

Brian McAlister:

I realized I'm a man, I'm an adult.

Brian McAlister:

I can choose how I want to respond to life.

Brian McAlister:

I can choose what I want to do and take daily action.

Brian McAlister:

It's just daily steps.

Brian McAlister:

To get to where I want to be consistent, but, you know, I also had to ask myself

Brian McAlister:

better questions, you know, like, instead of like, why is this happening to me?

Brian McAlister:

How come I never get a break?

Brian McAlister:

All those weak minded questions.

Brian McAlister:

I used to live on and, and, and justify, you know, today

Brian McAlister:

I ask myself better questions.

Brian McAlister:

Like instead of someday I'll fall in love, someday I'll have more money.

Brian McAlister:

So today is someday.

Brian McAlister:

You know, what am I waiting for?

Brian McAlister:

Yeah, this, this isn't a dress rehearsal.

Brian McAlister:

This is the one life I get.

Brian McAlister:

So I had to make some decisions and take responsibility from that, uh,

Brian McAlister:

grew an incredible life and, and the thing is, it didn't happen overnight.

Brian McAlister:

It happened over an extended period of time, uh, making

Brian McAlister:

adjustments along the way.

Brian McAlister:

And, uh, it's really been, been exciting.

Brian McAlister:

One thing I did have though, I did have the ability to take action.

Brian McAlister:

A lot of people get stuck in the fear.

Brian McAlister:

Like a lot of times procrastination is really masking fear.

Brian McAlister:

You know, they're not moving forward because deep down somewhere hidden

Brian McAlister:

in their psyche, they're, they're afraid that they're not going to

Brian McAlister:

be able to pull it off, you know?

Brian McAlister:

So I started looking at things like, uh, Like the scientist looks at an

Brian McAlister:

experiment, I'm just getting a result.

Brian McAlister:

Either I'm getting the result I want, or I'm getting another result.

Brian McAlister:

But if I learn something, how can I look at it?

Brian McAlister:

Like I was a failure.

Brian McAlister:

And if I looked at things that I wasn't a failure, it

Brian McAlister:

encouraged me to take more action.

Brian McAlister:

So like just little, little things like that, the way I looked at life

Brian McAlister:

really made a major, major difference.

Mike Forrester:

Do you think like we all have the ability to take action or

Mike Forrester:

most like the permission to take action, but we're just making the wrong choice

Mike Forrester:

or the repeated choice that we've made in the past that still gives us the

Mike Forrester:

same unhealthy or undesired results.

Brian McAlister:

I, I do, you know, and I'll, I'll, I'll go with this.

Brian McAlister:

Like I'm, I'm a recovering alcoholic and drug addict, you know, so that, that was

Brian McAlister:

my MO when things were good, I ran to that when things were bad, I ran to that.

Brian McAlister:

That was my excuse.

Brian McAlister:

And I used that as an excuse why I had not been able to really have a quality

Brian McAlister:

life, you know, up to that point.

Brian McAlister:

And, you know, for me.

Brian McAlister:

The same skillset that I used to keep myself down, the same skillset that I

Brian McAlister:

used to drive myself into the gutter when repurposed is what pushed me up to the

Brian McAlister:

mountaintop and I'll give you an example.

Brian McAlister:

When I wanted drugs, I knew what commitment was.

Brian McAlister:

I risked my health, my life, my family, my money, my freedom, anything, and

Brian McAlister:

I was going to get what I wanted.

Brian McAlister:

That is really, uh, a commitment that most people cannot muster, you know?

Brian McAlister:

So I took that skillset and I combined it with the moral and ethical standards

Brian McAlister:

needed to stay alcohol and drug free.

Brian McAlister:

And I made a decision.

Brian McAlister:

I wrote out what my dreams were, what my goals were, what, what I wanted to have

Brian McAlister:

to do, to own, to be in life, you know, and, and then rather than this, Every

Brian McAlister:

time I said, how am I gonna do this?

Brian McAlister:

I have no education, I would get depressed.

Brian McAlister:

So instead, I gave myself reasons why I was gonna do it.

Brian McAlister:

'cause I owed it to my, my family for the crappy life I had given them.

Brian McAlister:

Because I didn't wanna drop dead, not fulfill my purpose.

Brian McAlister:

I just made a long list of stuff and the reasons why gave me the stamina

Brian McAlister:

to keep pushing forward when, when things got tough, because I'm gonna

Brian McAlister:

tell everybody, they will get tough.

Brian McAlister:

But it's certainly worth it.

Mike Forrester:

Yeah.

Mike Forrester:

Now, when you've come from a place of, you know, like low self worth,

Mike Forrester:

the doubt, everything like negative.

Mike Forrester:

That your perspective and view is, is in that same vein, how do

Mike Forrester:

you step into dreaming, right?

Mike Forrester:

If somebody came up to you and said, Brian, this is where my

Mike Forrester:

life is at, you know, I don't know how I'm going to change.

Mike Forrester:

You talked about, you know, having, having that dream, that vision to kind of carry

Mike Forrester:

you through the challenge and the struggle that you faced and keep you on track.

Mike Forrester:

How do you help somebody to be able to dream when.

Mike Forrester:

They haven't dreamt in a while and those dreams have been just kind of cast aside

Mike Forrester:

by the experiences and the, the addiction, the life that has been lived, so to speak.

Brian McAlister:

Well, you know, first thing is you have to make a decision

Brian McAlister:

and not a promise, not a meandering.

Brian McAlister:

Oh yeah, I'd like to, it's gotta be decision.

Brian McAlister:

And, you know, the root word.

Brian McAlister:

Of, uh, decision is a Latin word and it means to cut away.

Brian McAlister:

I had a cut away from my past.

Brian McAlister:

100 percent half measures get you nothing.

Brian McAlister:

You know, I had to be all in, like I said, if I needed to cop and I needed

Brian McAlister:

something like that, I was all in, you know, I took that same deal and, and

Brian McAlister:

I, I decided, and I made my, my dreams and my goal big enough to be inspiring.

Brian McAlister:

You know what I mean?

Brian McAlister:

Like, I know there was steps along the way that had to, to take place,

Brian McAlister:

but I, you know, getting a job, making minimum wage certainly wasn't

Brian McAlister:

going to get my, my juices flowing.

Brian McAlister:

I'll speak for myself again.

Brian McAlister:

I'm an addict.

Brian McAlister:

I like more.

Brian McAlister:

I'm addicted to more, you know?

Brian McAlister:

So how can I use it?

Brian McAlister:

So I made some really huge, huge goals, you know?

Brian McAlister:

And then, um, I got my, I got that behind me and, you know, I started writing

Brian McAlister:

things out like really simple stuff.

Brian McAlister:

A You know, I, I'll tell you nothing as, as an, as an addict alcoholic.

Brian McAlister:

I thought I was an atheist, you know, I had a lot of bad experiences as, as

Brian McAlister:

a child with, with organized religion.

Brian McAlister:

So, you know, I realized that, you know, there's a spiritual component

Brian McAlister:

to this world we're living in.

Brian McAlister:

And I, I had to, I had to figure out something that works for me.

Brian McAlister:

So when I wrote out my, my affirmations and what I, what I

Brian McAlister:

was going to do to change every day, I put them on my fingertips.

Brian McAlister:

I used the word God.

Brian McAlister:

That's just what I used because I needed to get into the flow.

Brian McAlister:

I needed all the help I could get.

Brian McAlister:

I said, God wants me sober.

Brian McAlister:

God wants me happy.

Brian McAlister:

God wants me abundantly wealthy.

Brian McAlister:

God wants me spiritually fit and God wants me to help others.

Brian McAlister:

Then I go boom.

Brian McAlister:

And that was my, that was my anchor.

Brian McAlister:

And I just got into it over and over, you know, I figure I convinced myself

Brian McAlister:

that ruining my life was, was a party.

Brian McAlister:

I called it partying, you know, and, uh, if I can convince myself of that, I

Brian McAlister:

figured I had to rewrite this software in my head, so I started that simple.

Brian McAlister:

And, uh, that's where, that's where I began.

Brian McAlister:

I got, I got a job working for minimum wage.

Brian McAlister:

Unloading trucks on the dock of a retailer, you know, when I first got

Brian McAlister:

sober, and it's funny, I was there doing this and like, I was raised with a, a

Brian McAlister:

limited view of self, like, you know, if you can get a good, a good job and

Brian McAlister:

hang on to it, you know, you know, maybe a union job or something, you know,

Brian McAlister:

don't ever leave, you know, that's it.

Brian McAlister:

I'm thinking like.

Brian McAlister:

You know, I want more than that.

Brian McAlister:

And, uh, and that's what I did.

Brian McAlister:

So I looked around on that dock and I seen guys telling me what hours I was going

Brian McAlister:

to work, how much money I was going to make, how my family was going to live.

Brian McAlister:

I'm thinking I should have these guys in my back pocket.

Brian McAlister:

They're really not that bright, you know?

Brian McAlister:

So I started looking at it like that.

Brian McAlister:

And, uh, and I started taking action on a daily basis to see how I can improve

Brian McAlister:

my life and the life of my family.

Mike Forrester:

You took personal action.

Mike Forrester:

You didn't wait to receive something from somebody else, you figured out what you

Mike Forrester:

wanted and then started taking action and took like personal accountability

Mike Forrester:

and responsibility for things, right?

Brian McAlister:

Exactly.

Brian McAlister:

Most people try to undermine somebody in authority or their boss or this, I did

Brian McAlister:

just the opposite, you know, I, I went to the guy who was the lead man on the

Brian McAlister:

dock, you know, and I said, I'm probably sober six months, you know, I said,

Brian McAlister:

you seem to know what's going on here.

Brian McAlister:

You know what I mean?

Brian McAlister:

I said, how do you get ahead in this company?

Brian McAlister:

And he, he told me, I said, well, I'll make you a deal.

Brian McAlister:

I said, you, you teach me what you know.

Brian McAlister:

I said, and I delegate as much of this work to me as you can.

Brian McAlister:

And then do the same thing with your boss.

Brian McAlister:

And what happened was he started getting promoted as I made him look good.

Brian McAlister:

And then he would pull me up behind him.

Brian McAlister:

And he would get promoted and he pulled me up behind him.

Brian McAlister:

I made a deal with him.

Brian McAlister:

And then he hit the point where he was no longer comfortable,

Brian McAlister:

which happens to a lot of us.

Brian McAlister:

All of a sudden things are going good.

Brian McAlister:

We still start self sabotaging.

Brian McAlister:

I'm capable of that too.

Brian McAlister:

Like I've never been this successful for it.

Brian McAlister:

And I'm doing subconsciously.

Brian McAlister:

I start making decisions that turn people and situations against me.

Brian McAlister:

I'm not really comfortable with all that success.

Brian McAlister:

So this man did that and I went right past him.

Brian McAlister:

You know, I mean, like I said, and I wound up having an incredible career

Brian McAlister:

with this company, which changed my life.

Brian McAlister:

The further up I went, the more people I was exposed to, who can mentor me

Brian McAlister:

and show me things I didn't know.

Brian McAlister:

People who think and act differently than I, people who were already

Brian McAlister:

achieving the results I was trying to get is the easiest way to get there.

Mike Forrester:

So what was different when you look at the, the gentleman that

Mike Forrester:

was your supervisor in the beginning, what's the difference between his journey

Mike Forrester:

and how he was acting versus, you know, like your journey and how you were

Mike Forrester:

acting and thinking, what was different between the two of you that caused you?

Mike Forrester:

Him to, you know, self sabotage and remove himself from the ladder

Mike Forrester:

or the way he was climbing it.

Mike Forrester:

And you kept going

Brian McAlister:

Again, like, you know, we all have experiences we

Brian McAlister:

can draw mine was I'm an addict.

Brian McAlister:

I'm an alcoholic So it's really a disease of you know, too much is never enough.

Brian McAlister:

You know, I It's a disease of more so I use that God given

Brian McAlister:

trait to, to move me forward.

Brian McAlister:

He hit a point where it was enough.

Brian McAlister:

You know, he's working good hours.

Brian McAlister:

He was making decent money.

Brian McAlister:

He didn't want to go too high where he, his responsibilities

Brian McAlister:

were uncomfortable for him.

Brian McAlister:

For me, I, like I told you, I really, I looked at it like I couldn't fail.

Brian McAlister:

I could just get a result.

Brian McAlister:

So as I kept going up the ladder, I started meeting people.

Brian McAlister:

I mean, That were like spectacularly successful billionaires, you know,

Brian McAlister:

who own these companies and stuff.

Brian McAlister:

And it's funny because when I, you know, when I left that company, you

Brian McAlister:

know, I, I opened a couple of my own businesses and I became an entrepreneur

Brian McAlister:

because I'd done very well built a beautiful home, all the things.

Brian McAlister:

You know that, you know, I lived in a tent with my wife one time for about

Brian McAlister:

six months, I have wandered into the Salvation Army when I was younger and

Brian McAlister:

had a hot dog, you know what I mean?

Brian McAlister:

So like I have all these experiences um, and You know, when, when I, I,

Brian McAlister:

I got to the point where my life was looking great and my, my sister

Brian McAlister:

passed away from a drug overdose.

Brian McAlister:

And you know, when that happened, you know, it really made me

Brian McAlister:

step back and look at my life.

Brian McAlister:

Like I got sober, I changed, I changed everything.

Brian McAlister:

An old man told me when I got sober, Brian, you got to change one thing.

Brian McAlister:

I said, what's that?

Brian McAlister:

He said, everything.

Brian McAlister:

He goes, whatever you're thinking, you should probably do just the opposite.

Brian McAlister:

You're pretty screwed up.

Brian McAlister:

You know what I mean?

Brian McAlister:

So I did that, you know, and it made me reflect on a lot of things.

Brian McAlister:

And that's when, uh, the economy was tanking right after like 2005, 2006.

Brian McAlister:

And you know, like everybody else, I lost a lot of my money

Brian McAlister:

and I didn't drink it away.

Brian McAlister:

I didn't drug it away.

Brian McAlister:

I didn't gamble it away.

Brian McAlister:

I just lost it.

Brian McAlister:

It was the economy tank.

Brian McAlister:

So I didn't have control over that, but I did have control of how I react.

Brian McAlister:

So I took all the experiences, my sister passing.

Brian McAlister:

Uh, all the, the, the heartache in the economy, all the things I saw,

Brian McAlister:

and I started laughing at one and watching the TV, watching my stocks

Brian McAlister:

go like this, you know what I mean?

Brian McAlister:

Down.

Brian McAlister:

I started laughing, whoever thought I'd have stock, you know what I mean?

Brian McAlister:

Who, who, whoever thought I'd, I'd all, lend me all this

Brian McAlister:

money, you know what I mean?

Brian McAlister:

To buy all these houses and stuff.

Brian McAlister:

So, uh, I decided, you know, what if it was me instead of my

Brian McAlister:

sister who passed away that day?

Brian McAlister:

And what, what, what would I regret taking into eternity that I didn't do?

Brian McAlister:

And I came up with write a book, you know, I came up with telling somebody else how

Brian McAlister:

I pulled this off, how a guy like me, you know, went from, from a biker drug

Brian McAlister:

addict to, you know, uh, a corporate.

Brian McAlister:

You know, success and, uh, and then I, of course, the first thing that popped

Brian McAlister:

in my head is I can't write a book.

Brian McAlister:

You know, I barely get out of high school, you know, like

Brian McAlister:

who, who are you to do that?

Brian McAlister:

Then I realized, you know, who am I not to do that?

Brian McAlister:

Other people have done it.

Brian McAlister:

If other people have accomplished this, why can't I?

Brian McAlister:

And I told you that action thing.

Brian McAlister:

So that day I took an action.

Brian McAlister:

I took a pad and a paper, and I wrote one line on that pad and paper.

Brian McAlister:

From that, Came, uh, my best selling book, Full Recovery, and, you

Brian McAlister:

know, it's amazing how that works.

Brian McAlister:

And, you know, the more people told me, I, you know, you'll let, you

Brian McAlister:

know, it's like when I got sober, you'll be drinking in a week.

Brian McAlister:

Like my friends would tell me like, wrong guy.

Brian McAlister:

I stayed sober out of spite.

Brian McAlister:

You know, I hate to be told.

Brian McAlister:

I can't do something, you know, so the more they told me I wouldn't do good

Brian McAlister:

with the book, the more I pushed it.

Brian McAlister:

From there came a halfway house and there came a treatment

Brian McAlister:

center, licensed facility.

Brian McAlister:

I had a medical facility and all the doctors are working for me.

Brian McAlister:

It's crazy how life works, but the difference with me and the guy who

Brian McAlister:

stopped going up the ladder on, on the shipping dock for that company

Brian McAlister:

was I, I see where life is going.

Brian McAlister:

Yeah.

Brian McAlister:

I asked the right questions.

Brian McAlister:

Is this something that's that I'm really interested in?

Brian McAlister:

Is this something that motivates me?

Brian McAlister:

Is this something that makes me want to get out of bed in the morning?

Brian McAlister:

And if I come up with the right answers then I start taking action.

Brian McAlister:

And from there, now we have a software company doing mental health software,

Brian McAlister:

you know, so like who the hell knows where life's going to take you.

Brian McAlister:

Don't be afraid.

Brian McAlister:

Don't limit yourself.

Mike Forrester:

So when those thoughts, I mean, Bill, we've all had them where

Mike Forrester:

it's like, I, you know, writing the book.

Mike Forrester:

You looked at it and said, I can't do it because of we've all had

Mike Forrester:

those for different things that have come up opportunities, you

Mike Forrester:

know, a challenge that we're facing.

Mike Forrester:

And it's like, We disqualify ourselves, you know, right out of the gates.

Mike Forrester:

Yep.

Mike Forrester:

What are you doing to strengthen yourself to have that occur less?

Mike Forrester:

Cause you've talked about being intentional about how

Mike Forrester:

you see it and taking action.

Mike Forrester:

Does that stuff in and of itself kind of set you up for success in, um,

Mike Forrester:

not having those, you know, thoughts and beliefs pop up or is there

Mike Forrester:

something else that you do as well?

Brian McAlister:

The world's libraries are just full of mentors

Brian McAlister:

who are more than had success.

Brian McAlister:

You know, always leaves clues on what they did, how they did it.

Brian McAlister:

And, you know, I, I need inspiration.

Brian McAlister:

You know, I, I can do it as much as I can myself, but the idea is I need to pump

Brian McAlister:

good stuff in my head because naturally I go there, I was raised with limitation.

Brian McAlister:

It's very deep in my subconscious, you know, I'm not good enough,

Brian McAlister:

smart enough, talented enough.

Brian McAlister:

You know, I'm an alcoholic, I'm an addict.

Brian McAlister:

You don't have the education.

Brian McAlister:

I can go on and on and on and on.

Brian McAlister:

Before you know it, I'm circling the drain.

Brian McAlister:

I'm going down, you know what I mean?

Brian McAlister:

And I, I got to interrupt that thinking pattern.

Brian McAlister:

That's why I put those little affirmations on my fingertips just

Brian McAlister:

to interrupt that, you know, I'm sober, I'm happy, I'm wealthy.

Brian McAlister:

I'm, you know, I mean, all these good things.

Brian McAlister:

I want to help other people.

Brian McAlister:

And most of us have average intelligence, you know, like it's just what we do

Brian McAlister:

with that, it's how we react to life's challenges, not, uh, that we can't do it.

Brian McAlister:

I found too, that people will always help you, not always, some people are

Brian McAlister:

rotten, they want to see you stay down, you know, that's the people I avoid,

Brian McAlister:

I jealously guard what I allow in my head, I jealously guard who I associate

Brian McAlister:

with, you know, I want to be around people, if I'm the smartest guy in

Brian McAlister:

the room, I better get another room.

Brian McAlister:

I want people to tell me, tell me what, you know, how did you do it?

Brian McAlister:

And most people when asked sincerely, will, help you.

Brian McAlister:

You look what you're doing, Mike, you know, same thing out there, you

Brian McAlister:

know, like I want to see somebody else have all the joy and abundance that

Brian McAlister:

I've been able to manage in my life.

Mike Forrester:

Yeah, I think passing along that belief that it's available

Mike Forrester:

and possible for somebody else is, is like the biggest first step, right?

Mike Forrester:

Yes.

Mike Forrester:

And in what we're doing, because once that belief is there and we can see

Mike Forrester:

that from, from your journey is you got the belief you held onto it, you took

Mike Forrester:

action and that creates the momentum, uh, to do To continue building the

Mike Forrester:

confidence, the energy, the belief, um, doesn't mean it's going to be perfect,

Mike Forrester:

you know, I think of like the whole thing of progress, not perfection.

Mike Forrester:

We're not, we're not searching for perfection.

Mike Forrester:

We're just looking for improvement along the way.

Mike Forrester:

This is an ongoing journey and the weight of trying to be perfect isn't there.

Mike Forrester:

It's removed because none of us are perfect.

Mike Forrester:

So we're all equally qualified for the journey.

Brian McAlister:

And, you know, like advising me to have Rolling

Brian McAlister:

Stones song, they'll never make a saying to me, you know what I mean?

Brian McAlister:

That's the way it goes, you know, like be yourself.

Brian McAlister:

Everybody else is taken.

Brian McAlister:

And what I mean by that is, you know, we all have gifts and talents and

Brian McAlister:

abilities that are natural to us.

Brian McAlister:

Things, things that make us feel good about being us.

Brian McAlister:

And that's where you should go like I, I worked with a guy,

Brian McAlister:

uh, when I say work with him, he was a client of mine and he was.

Brian McAlister:

You know, he, he came from a very wealthy background and yeah, I mean, extraordinary

Brian McAlister:

trust fund, big super wealth.

Brian McAlister:

And his father was a self made man, so to speak, who was in the financial arena.

Brian McAlister:

And to the father, everything, anything that didn't really stick

Brian McAlister:

with the financial realm, like you were in a wall street guy, if you

Brian McAlister:

weren't a banker, you were a failure, you had to make lots of money.

Brian McAlister:

So this gentleman, his, his background or his, His, his gifts would,

Brian McAlister:

would, would make him feel good.

Brian McAlister:

He liked sports, he liked writing, he liked, you know,

Brian McAlister:

creativity, things like this.

Brian McAlister:

And his father belittled him to the point where he was always going to

Brian McAlister:

be a loser if he went after that.

Brian McAlister:

And he wound up becoming a heroin addict at like 23.

Brian McAlister:

And he was 52 when I met him, I said, you're the longest living heroin addict

Brian McAlister:

in America next to Keith Richards.

Brian McAlister:

You know, you, you got this thing.

Brian McAlister:

So no, you know, but we, we went through the deal and I asked him

Brian McAlister:

like, what would you do for free?

Brian McAlister:

Like, what do you like to do?

Brian McAlister:

Like most of us never asked those questions and you know, he

Brian McAlister:

talked about sports and racing.

Brian McAlister:

Well, I'd like what you do if you knew you couldn't fail.

Brian McAlister:

You know, he says, well, I like to be shortstop on the Yankees.

Brian McAlister:

I said, well, you're 52 year, a heroin addict, and you probably

Brian McAlister:

couldn't play ball when you're a kid, but that gives you a clue.

Brian McAlister:

You like, you like sports.

Brian McAlister:

You like talking about sports.

Brian McAlister:

How can we use that?

Brian McAlister:

You know, what would he, I asked him, he said, well, you know, I

Brian McAlister:

said, well, why sports, uh, you could coach a little league team.

Brian McAlister:

You could be a sports writer.

Brian McAlister:

You could, you know, the, you know, You could sell sports memorabilia,

Brian McAlister:

something that you enjoy doing that makes you feel good about being you.

Brian McAlister:

I read a thing about Kenny Rogers, you know, the musician years ago.

Brian McAlister:

And somebody asked him, you know, your family must've been an interviewer

Brian McAlister:

really surprised at your success.

Brian McAlister:

And he says, no, he goes, well, what do you mean?

Brian McAlister:

He goes, well, when I was a kid talking about what I wanted to

Brian McAlister:

be, when I grow up, my, my mother asked me, what do you want to do?

Brian McAlister:

You know what I mean?

Brian McAlister:

I said, I don't know.

Brian McAlister:

She goes, what do you enjoy doing?

Brian McAlister:

Well, I enjoy playing guitar and singing.

Brian McAlister:

She says, well, that's what you should do for a living.

Brian McAlister:

You'll never have to work a day in your life.

Brian McAlister:

And I was thinking, boy, how, how much wisdom is that instead of being told

Brian McAlister:

to do something that isn't in you.

Brian McAlister:

We all have gifts, like the software I developed, for example, that all, it's

Brian McAlister:

all about asking the right questions.

Brian McAlister:

Everybody's answers are different, but it gets you to the core of who you are.

Brian McAlister:

You know what I mean?

Brian McAlister:

And what you want to do, Socrates said it, right?

Brian McAlister:

You know, man know thyself and you'll know the universe and the gods, you know,

Brian McAlister:

but he'll know what makes you feel good.

Brian McAlister:

And that's really the key.

Brian McAlister:

And unfortunately, most of us are going through life pretending to

Brian McAlister:

be something we're really not.

Mike Forrester:

How do you build that?

Mike Forrester:

Success around him.

Mike Forrester:

Are you putting him in a community where it like helps him to keep that vision

Mike Forrester:

in front of him and encourage him?

Mike Forrester:

Because sometimes the family and friends that we have around us aren't healthy

Mike Forrester:

themselves and their guidance and advice.

Mike Forrester:

Can put us on the wrong path.

Mike Forrester:

How are you setting that guy up for like success with the sports?

Brian McAlister:

Well, that's, that's really what my books and, and what

Brian McAlister:

the software is all about doing.

Brian McAlister:

And it's something that it get, we give people permission.

Brian McAlister:

To be themselves, we give them permission to, to, uh, explore beyond

Brian McAlister:

their, their present limited status.

Brian McAlister:

And that's really what it's all about.

Brian McAlister:

And I'll, I'll share some personal experience.

Brian McAlister:

Like I'm from a long line of Irish Catholic alcoholics, you know,

Brian McAlister:

birds, flies, fish, swim, we drank, you know, that's what we did.

Brian McAlister:

You know, I never thought anything about it.

Brian McAlister:

It just kind of the way things were.

Brian McAlister:

And, you know, like, I was given a lot of advice by a lot of people

Brian McAlister:

and it was all limitation advice.

Brian McAlister:

Like I said earlier, like, you know, with the type of work I was going to

Brian McAlister:

do, the type of job I could have, the type of life I could live, you know,

Brian McAlister:

and even the way I acted and reacted to life, you know, and I realize now

Brian McAlister:

that a lot of it was bad advice and I accepted it along the way because, you

Brian McAlister:

know, it was given by people who love me.

Brian McAlister:

And the thing is, it wasn't good advice and I had to have the courage

Brian McAlister:

and I mean that to break out when I got sober, my, my dad and me, we

Brian McAlister:

used to drink, you know what I mean?

Brian McAlister:

And he, he, uh, he was not real thrilled, you know, he was kind of ashamed that I

Brian McAlister:

went and, you know, I had to go into a detox and all this other stuff and he's

Brian McAlister:

like shaking his head at me, you know?

Brian McAlister:

It's funny though, the way things work, I went on my own, I went my

Brian McAlister:

own way and I did my own thing and had all these incredible experiences.

Brian McAlister:

And when he was 66, the age I am right now, he called me one

Brian McAlister:

day and he says he was dying, he was drinking himself to death.

Brian McAlister:

And I was like, then I was probably in my forties and he said,

Brian McAlister:

uh, you seem relatively happy.

Brian McAlister:

What are you doing?

Brian McAlister:

And I told him what I was doing.

Brian McAlister:

He's 91 now.

Brian McAlister:

He is, he's got a problem with dementia, but until he was in his late

Brian McAlister:

eighties, he got another 25 years of life because he did the same thing

Brian McAlister:

I did and he got the same result.

Brian McAlister:

I'll give you another example.

Brian McAlister:

I had a guy I worked with, he was, he was arrested and he was put

Brian McAlister:

in the psych ward and he, uh, he had all kinds of kinds of issues.

Brian McAlister:

And when he got out, you know, he, we got him sober and I see him,

Brian McAlister:

he's reading like a book a day.

Brian McAlister:

I've never seen anybody read like this.

Brian McAlister:

I said to him, I said, what's your story?

Brian McAlister:

Like, you seem, seem pretty bright.

Brian McAlister:

He says, I should be bright.

Brian McAlister:

I've got a.

Brian McAlister:

A master's from the London School of Economics.

Brian McAlister:

I'm like, really?

Brian McAlister:

Well, what are you doing?

Brian McAlister:

You know, what are you doing in the psych ward?

Brian McAlister:

We started talking.

Brian McAlister:

So, uh, you know, he started telling me, I said, well, what

Brian McAlister:

would you do if you could succeed?

Brian McAlister:

What do you want from life?

Brian McAlister:

He says, well, I want, uh, uh, a spouse.

Brian McAlister:

Somebody of a real, a real loving relationship.

Brian McAlister:

I said, that's great.

Brian McAlister:

What's your track record?

Brian McAlister:

He's already been, he's like 30, he's been divorced twice.

Brian McAlister:

I said, well, you know, who do you talk to about that?

Brian McAlister:

He said, my mother, my mother loves me.

Brian McAlister:

She always has my best interest at heart.

Brian McAlister:

I said, what's her deal?

Brian McAlister:

She's divorced four times.

Brian McAlister:

I said, okay.

Brian McAlister:

So, you know, this is where you're getting advice from like your dopey

Brian McAlister:

friend, your mother, whatever.

Brian McAlister:

So then I said, well, what about, what about work?

Brian McAlister:

You know, I know you're like this financial whiz, you're working on

Brian McAlister:

wall street and all this stuff.

Brian McAlister:

You know, you're in the nut house.

Brian McAlister:

He says, uh, he says, I said, what do you like about your job?

Brian McAlister:

He says, nothing.

Brian McAlister:

I hate it.

Brian McAlister:

I said, well, what are you doing?

Brian McAlister:

He goes, well, you know, I was brought up that you have to be on

Brian McAlister:

wall street to make all this money.

Brian McAlister:

I said, well, who do you talk to about that?

Brian McAlister:

Guess who?

Brian McAlister:

My mother, you know what I mean?

Brian McAlister:

My mother loves me and she wants my best.

Brian McAlister:

And so finally I said, again, well, what's, what's your mother's history?

Brian McAlister:

What does she do?

Brian McAlister:

She's a landscaper.

Brian McAlister:

It's like, okay.

Brian McAlister:

I said, I see a little pattern going here.

Brian McAlister:

Like you're asking advice from somebody who's not getting the results.

Brian McAlister:

You want, I said, your mother, you know, if you want to be a landscaper and be

Brian McAlister:

divorced four times, keep talking to her, but if you want to talk, doesn't mean

Brian McAlister:

you don't have to, you still love her.

Brian McAlister:

She's still your mother, but you might want to find somebody else to

Brian McAlister:

emulate who's already achieved in the result and save a lot of steps.

Brian McAlister:

I can choose.

Brian McAlister:

What actions I'm going to take doesn't mean I have to cut loose.

Brian McAlister:

My family doesn't mean I have to, you know, disavow all my friends.

Brian McAlister:

It just means if they're not getting the results I want, why am I asking?

Brian McAlister:

It's like trying to get sober for me, but a guy who's still

Brian McAlister:

drinking, you know what I mean?

Brian McAlister:

It wouldn't have worked out.

Brian McAlister:

Well, I'd be buying me a beer

Mike Forrester:

yeah.

Mike Forrester:

The people that we take advice from, it's like, Um, we really need to be

Mike Forrester:

intentional and cognizant of where they're at and, uh, use that as the track

Mike Forrester:

record for, you know, if we can listen to the advice, but taking action on their

Mike Forrester:

advice is a completely different thing.

Mike Forrester:

Like you were talking about the mom being divorced, you know, four times,

Mike Forrester:

there's something missing there or, you know, a hurt that, uh, is just causing.

Mike Forrester:

Same pattern to repeat.

Mike Forrester:

And uh, it can be the same thing like with finances or, you know, health

Mike Forrester:

habits, whatever the case may be.

Mike Forrester:

Career.

Mike Forrester:

Yep.

Mike Forrester:

Um, you know, like you said, look for somebody that, uh, is, is in

Mike Forrester:

the place you want to be and take advice from the right people.

Brian McAlister:

Exactly.

Brian McAlister:

And

Mike Forrester:

I had to learn that lesson the hard way as well, Brian.

Brian McAlister:

Yeah.

Brian McAlister:

We all have, you know, but the thing is, you know, do what they

Brian McAlister:

did and you'll get what they got.

Brian McAlister:

You know, as the old saying, and that's the deal, like, you're not, if you don't

Brian McAlister:

like what they're getting, you know, why, why are you taking their advice?

Brian McAlister:

Doesn't mean, like I said, you don't have a relationship, you don't love them,

Brian McAlister:

but you know, it's not fitting into what you're trying to accomplish, you know?

Brian McAlister:

So I still do that.

Mike Forrester:

With the software that you've designed, Brian, um, like how it's

Mike Forrester:

helping people to, you know, change and get the results and stay on that path.

Mike Forrester:

How does the software, um, work alongside of me and, and how do I, you know, put

Mike Forrester:

in my goals or, you know, kind of give it the, the target that I'm going for.

Brian McAlister:

It's pretty incredible stuff.

Brian McAlister:

It's a, it's video driven.

Brian McAlister:

So, you know, and it's completely searchable.

Brian McAlister:

It's got goal setting workshops.

Brian McAlister:

It's got all types of, uh, content, you know, on life, on finances, on

Brian McAlister:

love, on relationships, on you name it, on sobriety, on recovery, on, you

Brian McAlister:

know, uh, depression, you, you name it.

Brian McAlister:

It's, it's really, there's nothing like it.

Brian McAlister:

And I'm pretty proud of it, as you can tell.

Brian McAlister:

And the deal is it asks the right questions.

Brian McAlister:

Ask better questions, you'll get better answers, you know, so the, everybody's

Brian McAlister:

answers are going to be different and the idea is like, if you read a lot

Brian McAlister:

of self help books, you know, you put it down, you liked it, it was good.

Brian McAlister:

Now, everything that you do in this every day is, it's

Brian McAlister:

actionable, you know what I mean?

Brian McAlister:

It's not, it's not just giving you the answers, it's making you come up with what

Brian McAlister:

fits for your needs and it's actionable.

Brian McAlister:

It gives you the next step, you know, for me, for example, you know, when I, when I

Brian McAlister:

came out of treatment, I was unemployable.

Brian McAlister:

I really was, I was.

Brian McAlister:

I didn't work for a long time.

Brian McAlister:

I was banged up.

Brian McAlister:

I couldn't think.

Brian McAlister:

I couldn't read.

Brian McAlister:

I was so banged up that the words would just move around the paper.

Brian McAlister:

So, you know, I, I wound up, uh, I wound up getting a job at this place because I,

Brian McAlister:

I used to look at it like a drug addict.

Brian McAlister:

I wouldn't leave till I got what I wanted.

Brian McAlister:

I kept going down there.

Brian McAlister:

You know, I wrote a resume, something so silly for like a little

Brian McAlister:

minimum wage job on loading trucks.

Brian McAlister:

And they almost fell over like nobody's ever handed a resume

Brian McAlister:

or something like this before.

Brian McAlister:

But I wanted to separate myself from, from the pack.

Brian McAlister:

I wanted to stand out.

Brian McAlister:

I wanted to, uh, able to show that I had initiative, you know, so like

Brian McAlister:

simple things like that, you know, and, and we give you all these,

Brian McAlister:

all these ways of getting, figuring out what you want, what you're good

Brian McAlister:

at, what's been holding you back.

Brian McAlister:

We give you the whys, and then we give you steps you could take to move it forward.

Brian McAlister:

It's almost Question, answer, question, answer.

Brian McAlister:

And then it all goes into your, your full recovery action plan.

Brian McAlister:

So you have step by step, you'll have a full year's worth of action steps to

Brian McAlister:

move you towards whatever your goals are.

Brian McAlister:

Our goal is you should have at least one life altering project by the time

Brian McAlister:

you're done going through this process.

Brian McAlister:

And you can do it over and over again.

Brian McAlister:

Like, look at me.

Brian McAlister:

I went from, from a retail You know, business to, you know, to writing books.

Brian McAlister:

I had a real estate investment company that I ran for years.

Brian McAlister:

I started a construction.

Brian McAlister:

I was a licensed builder, you know, all these things boost.

Brian McAlister:

Like when I get bored, like all of a sudden I reached my goal, you know,

Brian McAlister:

like rather than it stick with it forever, I just met set a bigger goal.

Brian McAlister:

You know, and I, and I started getting excited because I know I'm going to

Brian McAlister:

learn something new, like I know nothing about software yet I own a software

Brian McAlister:

company, you know, so it's, it's kind of interesting the way life works and

Brian McAlister:

we all have that in us, every one of us.

Brian McAlister:

And, you know, it's just having the courage.

Brian McAlister:

To, to just take that step.

Brian McAlister:

You know, they, they say fail forward fast.

Brian McAlister:

If you fail, who cares?

Brian McAlister:

Just keep moving ahead.

Mike Forrester:

Yeah.

Mike Forrester:

Yeah.

Mike Forrester:

It's, it's not about, like we talked about earlier, being perfect.

Mike Forrester:

It's about continuing to challenge and, and move forward and Yeah.

Mike Forrester:

Keep at it being consistent.

Mike Forrester:

It's, I, I think we give too much credit to it being like a

Mike Forrester:

big event when it's the small.

Mike Forrester:

Micro decisions and actions that we take on a daily basis that

Mike Forrester:

really kind of create that compound effect in the life that in, in

Mike Forrester:

our life that we're looking for.

Brian McAlister:

Sure.

Brian McAlister:

If you improve 1 percent a day at the end of the year, how many thousands

Brian McAlister:

of percent would you improve?

Brian McAlister:

You know, and the thing is not even improving, you know, if it's

Brian McAlister:

not fun, if you, if life isn't fun, you're not doing it right.

Brian McAlister:

You know, you really not, it should be a game.

Brian McAlister:

You can win and enjoy.

Brian McAlister:

And, and it, you know, I have so much to be blessed and

Brian McAlister:

thankful for and grateful for.

Brian McAlister:

I can't even put it into words, you know, I spent, you know, I, I totaled

Brian McAlister:

my Harley one time and it took the helicopter ride in and you know, I,

Brian McAlister:

I, I had plates and screws and pins.

Brian McAlister:

I broke my back.

Brian McAlister:

It took me years to get off of crutches.

Brian McAlister:

I had to learn how to walk, traumatic brain injury, the

Brian McAlister:

whole night, you name it.

Brian McAlister:

I broke it.

Brian McAlister:

Evil can evil type accident.

Brian McAlister:

And, uh, the first thing I did was.

Brian McAlister:

Get out of my hospital bed, throw my crutches over the railing, hop down the,

Brian McAlister:

uh, the stairs and walk a mile to the bar in 110 degree Phoenix heat to get a drink.

Brian McAlister:

You know, it wasn't the, it wasn't the alcohol or drug that did it.

Brian McAlister:

It was just a bad break that could happen to anybody, you know?

Brian McAlister:

So like I had to make sure that I changed, like the guy told me one thing.

Brian McAlister:

Everything, the way I looked at life had to change.

Brian McAlister:

And the first thing was finding people who got the results I wanted

Brian McAlister:

and asking them how they did it.

Brian McAlister:

And people who weren't in that wheelhouse, I had a friendly, no, no

Brian McAlister:

problem, just, but I can't go there.

Brian McAlister:

I have limited time at 24 hours in a day and how I use that time

Brian McAlister:

to a great extent will affect the type of life I'm going to live.

Mike Forrester:

Yeah.

Mike Forrester:

And I think in that story, you've shown how much strength and power and

Mike Forrester:

resiliency we have just in who we are.

Mike Forrester:

I mean, if you're like sitting there, Hey, I'm broken up, but yet I'm, I'm able to

Mike Forrester:

go to the bar to get something I want.

Mike Forrester:

It's the power of what you're talking After right, that goal,

Mike Forrester:

because it could be anything else that moves you to do that as well.

Mike Forrester:

It's just in that situation was the alcohol, um, you know, pulling you there.

Mike Forrester:

Yeah.

Mike Forrester:

So you talked about books, like being mentors, libraries being full of mentors.

Mike Forrester:

When you look back, who are like, You know, two or three of those mentors,

Mike Forrester:

you know, that, that wrote out, um, you know, their thoughts in, in books

Mike Forrester:

that helped you the most along the way.

Brian McAlister:

You know, I read a lot of biographies like, like Henry

Brian McAlister:

Ford, uh, was, was pretty interesting.

Brian McAlister:

And Henry Ford had one, one situation where he was expanding

Brian McAlister:

his company and he failed.

Brian McAlister:

A bunch of times, you know that, right?

Brian McAlister:

He didn't just start out banging out the assembly line.

Brian McAlister:

He actually went under a few times trying to get this thing going.

Brian McAlister:

So like, instead of looking at the failure, he rewrote it and

Brian McAlister:

went back to the drawing board.

Brian McAlister:

So I'll try something else.

Brian McAlister:

That's really the key to it.

Brian McAlister:

He had a deal where it, you know, he was going to expand

Brian McAlister:

his plan for the first time.

Brian McAlister:

So he didn't know where to get people.

Brian McAlister:

This was a new industry.

Brian McAlister:

Nobody ever did it.

Brian McAlister:

So he, he asked his, uh, you The managers give, send me up a hundred people from the

Brian McAlister:

floor who are the best workers we have.

Brian McAlister:

So he made the offer to, to, you know, uh, if you want to take some

Brian McAlister:

classes at night, we're not going to pay you, but if you want to take,

Brian McAlister:

we're going to put you in management.

Brian McAlister:

You'll be able to make more money, a better hour.

Brian McAlister:

He went through the whole deal.

Brian McAlister:

I'll give you 24 hours to make your mind up.

Brian McAlister:

So he figured he'd let them go home and talk to their, to their spouses.

Brian McAlister:

The next day he was shocked.

Brian McAlister:

Only a handful of guys took it.

Brian McAlister:

Everybody else didn't take it.

Brian McAlister:

They were afraid to move forward.

Brian McAlister:

They had a decent job.

Brian McAlister:

The third day, you know, so the 24 hours were up the third day, half of them

Brian McAlister:

came back, says, well, I rethought it and, uh, I, I, maybe I'll take that job.

Brian McAlister:

And none of them would he take, he says, I found people that when given all

Brian McAlister:

the right information, they can't make commitments, you know, and that, and

Brian McAlister:

they, they're afraid to move forward.

Brian McAlister:

When the going gets tough, they'll be the first to run,

Brian McAlister:

go back to the assembly line.

Brian McAlister:

Success leaves clues, you know, uh, you know, of course, you know, think and

Brian McAlister:

grow rich and some of the classics like that from Napoleon Hill are really good.

Brian McAlister:

You read my book, full recovery, you know, and same deal.

Brian McAlister:

It's that type of, that type of a book.

Brian McAlister:

And I, uh, I believe, I believe that everybody with, with

Brian McAlister:

this average intelligence and the ability to take action.

Brian McAlister:

And follows the step by step stuff that I, I lay out.

Brian McAlister:

There's no way you can't improve your life.

Brian McAlister:

You can get what you want.

Brian McAlister:

You know, another thing is a lot of people, they say they want something

Brian McAlister:

and they really don't want it at all.

Brian McAlister:

Like, you know, like you say, like, well, I wanted to be in business for myself.

Brian McAlister:

You got to ask yourself the question, why?

Brian McAlister:

So it's, do I think I'm going to get prestige?

Brian McAlister:

Do, do I want to, you know, I think I can get more money.

Brian McAlister:

You know, what, what, why do you want it?

Brian McAlister:

I want to have children.

Brian McAlister:

Well, why do you want kids?

Brian McAlister:

You want love?

Brian McAlister:

Do you want to give it to your friends?

Brian McAlister:

Have kids.

Brian McAlister:

Do you want to continue on your legacy, your, your bloodline?

Brian McAlister:

Why?

Brian McAlister:

Because a lot of times we say we want something, but we

Brian McAlister:

really don't want it at all.

Brian McAlister:

Somebody else told us like the guy in the finance, that's what we should have.

Brian McAlister:

You know?

Brian McAlister:

So the part of the process is getting down to it.

Brian McAlister:

Yeah.

Brian McAlister:

What do you want?

Brian McAlister:

Why do you want it?

Brian McAlister:

How are you going to lay out your game playing to get it?

Brian McAlister:

And then just start taking daily small steps towards achieving your goal.

Brian McAlister:

Eventually they'll get there.

Brian McAlister:

I know it.

Brian McAlister:

I do it all the time.

Mike Forrester:

Yeah.

Mike Forrester:

I love the fact, Brian, that there's that common thread again of a commitment,

Mike Forrester:

you know, that you've talked about, man, it was a commitment that I.

Mike Forrester:

I made and I stuck with it and got the change that I was looking for, um,

Mike Forrester:

especially over the long haul, um, you know, seeing where things have gone

Mike Forrester:

from where they were to where they are now, Brian, how can guys reach out to

Mike Forrester:

you and connect outside of his podcast?

Brian McAlister:

Um, you can reach out to me at either.

Brian McAlister:

VRS for virtual recovery system.

Brian McAlister:

That's our thing.

Brian McAlister:

Uh, freedom three 65.

Brian McAlister:

com

Brian McAlister:

we started a little nonprofit, it's the same type of stuff that we talked about.

Brian McAlister:

Plus it's got some post traumatic stress stuff was a lot of our

Brian McAlister:

veterans are struggling and you could download it for free.

Brian McAlister:

If you got a couple of bucks, throw it in there because it

Brian McAlister:

allows us to keep giving it away.

Brian McAlister:

It's a nonprofit and it's tax deductible, but you go to my mental health.

Brian McAlister:

org and you can reach me there.

Brian McAlister:

And if not, you could also go to, uh, mentalhealth.

Brian McAlister:

org.

Brian McAlister:

I'll give you my email, put it out there.

Brian McAlister:

Email me.

Brian McAlister:

My, my email is, uh, B McAlister, M C A L I S T E R at full F U L L.

Brian McAlister:

Then the hyphen.

Brian McAlister:

Recovery.

Brian McAlister:

com, bMcAlister at full dash recovery.

Brian McAlister:

com.

Brian McAlister:

And you know, give me some time.

Brian McAlister:

I promise I will get back to you and I wish everybody out there, you know,

Brian McAlister:

I wish you success, whatever that vision of success is, whether it's just

Brian McAlister:

being a better father, whether it's just being a better parent, whether

Brian McAlister:

it's being ahead of IBM, whatever that thing is for you, go for it.

Brian McAlister:

Like I said, this is not a dress rehearsal.

Brian McAlister:

This is it.

Brian McAlister:

This is your life.

Mike Forrester:

Brian, I so appreciate it.

Mike Forrester:

Thank you for sharing your story and just that, you know, it's about the

Mike Forrester:

commitment and keeping that daily, you know, investment there, taking the

Mike Forrester:

action and Brian, I really appreciate you providing your email address.

Mike Forrester:

I'll put that in the show notes.

Mike Forrester:

That's huge.

Mike Forrester:

So thank you again, my friend.

Mike Forrester:

I appreciate it.

Brian McAlister:

Thank you.

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About the Podcast

Living Fearless Today
Helping men live fully alive, boldly and courageously
Do you feel overwhelmed when making decisions? Struggle to take action in your personal life or career? Think you're alone in these situations? You're not! In fact, you're in good company. 
 
I'm Mike Forrester, host of the Living Fearless Today podcast. Join me as I interview other men who triumphed over their own adversities, learn how they did it and where they are today. So that whatever you're facing, know others fought the same battle and have conquered those challenges. They are now encouraging you and me to live our life boldly and courageously alongside them.
 
Let's disprove the lie that we're the only one who's going through this situation, that no one knows what it's like. You're not alone in the struggle you're working through. As men, we have more in common in our journey than you might want to believe.
 
Join me here each Tuesday for the interview and then again on Friday as I spotlight the lessons learned. How we can apply them to become the confident and courageous man we're wanting to be - for ourselves, our wife and our children.
 
Be sure to give a follow to the Living Fearless Today podcast on your favorite platform. I look forward to being with you during the next episode.

About your host

Profile picture for Mike Forrester

Mike Forrester

Mike Forrester is a men's transformation coach, founder of the Living Fearless coaching programs, and host of the Living Fearless Today podcast. His insights, methods and stories of overcoming childhood trauma, dyslexia and loss of loved ones have been featured on various podcasts, including Hanging Onto Hope, Extreme Health, Own Your Life Own Your Career and Think Unbroken.