The Hidden Power Of Small Actions For Big Life Changes with Peter John Mather

Mike Forrester: 00:00:01

Well, hello and welcome back, my friend.

Mike Forrester: 00:00:03

And this week I'm joined by Peter John Mather.

Mike Forrester: 00:00:06

And, uh, you know, if you've watched anything on skydiving, uh,

Mike Forrester: 00:00:10

you may have seen Peter, he has toured with Europe on their team.

Mike Forrester: 00:00:16

Dude is jumping out of airplanes and.

Mike Forrester: 00:00:19

He is just making like huge waves in life, big transition.

Mike Forrester: 00:00:24

And so my first thought when I was talking with Peter was like, dude, why

Mike Forrester: 00:00:28

are you jumping out of an airplane?

Mike Forrester: 00:00:29

Perfectly good airplane with a piece of fabric, Peter.

Mike Forrester: 00:00:33

And you know, part of part of our journey may not make sense to other people.

Mike Forrester: 00:00:40

This was part of Peter's journey and his transformation.

Mike Forrester: 00:00:44

And so.

Mike Forrester: 00:00:46

If you have something that's helping you in your process, just like

Mike Forrester: 00:00:50

you're going to see with Peter, um, understand one where you're at

Mike Forrester: 00:00:54

now is not where you have to stay.

Mike Forrester: 00:00:57

There's a choice.

Mike Forrester: 00:00:58

There's other options, just like you're going to see with Peter.

Mike Forrester: 00:01:01

And so we've had a great conversation leading up to this really excited

Mike Forrester: 00:01:05

to jump in with Peter and, uh.

Mike Forrester: 00:01:07

Have him share his story and his insights and just walk away

Mike Forrester: 00:01:11

with a ton of encouragement.

Mike Forrester: 00:01:12

So Peter, how are you doing today, my friend?

Mike Forrester: 00:01:14

Peter John Mather: I am absolutely outstanding today.

Mike Forrester: 00:01:16

Thank you very much, Mike.

Mike Forrester: 00:01:17

Beautiful intro, by the way.

Mike Forrester: 00:01:19

I really appreciate the beautiful intro that you just give me.

Mike Forrester: 00:01:22

Hey, my pleasure, man.

Mike Forrester: 00:01:23

And, and you and I have been laughing for quite a while here.

Mike Forrester: 00:01:27

So it has been awesome just to connect and go, Hey man, it is about encouraging

Mike Forrester: 00:01:33

one another, enjoying life and seeing like, Even the similarities that

Mike Forrester: 00:01:39

we've gone through, you know, we both talked about dyslexia, the kind of

Mike Forrester: 00:01:42

challenges that we had raising up, but it's like, there's also differences.

Mike Forrester: 00:01:46

Like we, we can have a similar process, but it doesn't mean we're in the exact

Mike Forrester: 00:01:52

same place, but we can take encouragement and insights from one another and.

Mike Forrester: 00:01:59

Have that catapult almost.

Mike Forrester: 00:02:00

It's almost like nitrous oxide, man.

Mike Forrester: 00:02:02

Just, you know, getting even further along.

Mike Forrester: 00:02:04

Right.

Mike Forrester: 00:02:06

Peter John Mather: It sure is.

Mike Forrester: 00:02:06

And, and I mean, I'm so glad you touched on that actually, because

Mike Forrester: 00:02:09

it's energy, it's energy that kind of, it's, and even through going

Mike Forrester: 00:02:13

through a computer screen like we are right now, we can feel the energy.

Mike Forrester: 00:02:17

And as soon as I sat on the call, the energy that I just

Mike Forrester: 00:02:20

felt from you and you must have felt from me by the sounds of it.

Mike Forrester: 00:02:24

Um, it's been beautiful.

Mike Forrester: 00:02:25

So yes, uh, I love it that we can excel and talk about some things that

Mike Forrester: 00:02:31

we've still got in common, some things that we've not had in common, but we

Mike Forrester: 00:02:34

can relate to through a different, Perspective and a different set of eyes.

Mike Forrester: 00:02:39

So, and that's what I love about talking about my story and also getting to

Mike Forrester: 00:02:43

meet people like yourself and other many, many different people across

Mike Forrester: 00:02:47

the world, especially from Skydiving and you're correct, you know, um, my.

Mike Forrester: 00:02:52

Skydiving career has been 16 years, um, in the making.

Mike Forrester: 00:02:56

Um, I actually have a skydiving business.

Mike Forrester: 00:02:59

Um, and my business is, business is plural S, 14 of them right now.

Mike Forrester: 00:03:04

Um, uh, doing extremely well, continuing to grow and has again, hard times, you

Mike Forrester: 00:03:10

know, but through hard times become strong people and strong people have good times.

Mike Forrester: 00:03:15

You know, so that's, that's where the kind of scouting has took me,

Mike Forrester: 00:03:20

uh, in so many aspects and, and it's given me a beautiful life.

Mike Forrester: 00:03:23

My personal life right now is, is, is absolutely outstanding.

Mike Forrester: 00:03:28

And I promised you I'd wouldn't just use one word, so I'm not going to

Mike Forrester: 00:03:31

shoot this word, use the word amazing.

Mike Forrester: 00:03:33

Um, so, you know, um.

Mike Forrester: 00:03:37

And, uh, you know, so proud to have just got married to a beautiful girl called

Mike Forrester: 00:03:41

Ash, you know, uh, and we just got married in July, uh, in beautiful Fiji.

Mike Forrester: 00:03:48

And that's why I'm wearing a t shirt that says, uh, I'm on Fiji time.

Mike Forrester: 00:03:51

Um, so that was, uh, that's something that's amazing.

Mike Forrester: 00:03:55

We, my life right now of playing golf, enjoying life, business, um, becoming,

Mike Forrester: 00:04:02

you know, looking after myself, uh, creating a family now, starting to create

Mike Forrester: 00:04:06

a family is, is growing and yeah, life at this minute can not get any better.

Mike Forrester: 00:04:14

And then in five minutes time, it's just got five minutes better, you know,

Mike Forrester: 00:04:19

and it's what I loved what you said, Mike was, you know, it's, we don't

Mike Forrester: 00:04:24

have to stay in the same place we're at right now, there is a different side

Mike Forrester: 00:04:30

to everything and it's just a choice.

Mike Forrester: 00:04:32

You know, it just is a choice.

Mike Forrester: 00:04:35

And I think the, the challenging thing in the moment when

Mike Forrester: 00:04:40

it's not going, you know, absolutely amazing is seeing that there's something

Mike Forrester: 00:04:45

beyond like those mental walls or the chains that are holding us in place,

Mike Forrester: 00:04:51

the beliefs that we have of what's possible or, you know, what we deserve.

Mike Forrester: 00:04:58

And I look back.

Mike Forrester: 00:05:00

At your path, Peter, and I'm like, dude, I would not have sat there and predicted

Mike Forrester: 00:05:05

like you're at this place at this point.

Mike Forrester: 00:05:09

Um, you know, I, I just look at it and I'm like,

Mike Forrester: 00:05:16

there's, there's no way to predict what's going to come out.

Mike Forrester: 00:05:20

But what is it that.

Mike Forrester: 00:05:22

You know, like you're doing that,

Mike Forrester: 00:05:27

man, you just, you continue to see the best of what is yet to come when you're

Mike Forrester: 00:05:34

facing that challenge, Peter, like when you're in the midst of, um, you

Mike Forrester: 00:05:39

know, the struggle that like would have overcome you before, but now you're just

Mike Forrester: 00:05:44

like, Hey, this, this too will pass, you know, this is part of the journey.

Mike Forrester: 00:05:48

This is part of the blessing.

Mike Forrester: 00:05:50

How are you seeing that differently to handle it and get to a different

Mike Forrester: 00:05:54

point down the road than what would have occurred before?

Mike Forrester: 00:05:57

Peter John Mather: I think, um, what, by the way, thank you so much.

Mike Forrester: 00:06:00

It was a great question.

Mike Forrester: 00:06:01

Beautiful question.

Mike Forrester: 00:06:02

Well put.

Mike Forrester: 00:06:03

Um, the

Mike Forrester: 00:06:07

nice way of putting this is that it's very easy to see.

Mike Forrester: 00:06:13

Now, the things that actually are not inside my fence, and I use this

Mike Forrester: 00:06:19

terminology and I use this analogy is what's inside my fence and what's

Mike Forrester: 00:06:24

outside my fence, and what I mean by that is that if it's inside my fence,

Mike Forrester: 00:06:28

it's inside of my control, it's inside my internal control, and if it's outside

Mike Forrester: 00:06:33

my fence, which is normally everything that's on the outside world externally,

Mike Forrester: 00:06:38

then it doesn't really matter to me.

Mike Forrester: 00:06:39

It's not that it doesn't bother me, but I kind of just see a new concept of it.

Mike Forrester: 00:06:44

That there is a learning in everything that we do.

Mike Forrester: 00:06:46

There is a lesson in everything that we do.

Mike Forrester: 00:06:48

And even though everybody will say, Oh, well, you know, I'm

Mike Forrester: 00:06:52

having a really bad time right now.

Mike Forrester: 00:06:55

Yes.

Mike Forrester: 00:06:55

At that minute, at that moment, at that second, you are having, Uh,

Mike Forrester: 00:07:00

not so great time, but in 60, 70, 70, 90 seconds time, you could be

Mike Forrester: 00:07:06

having the best time of your life.

Mike Forrester: 00:07:07

It's just what you focus on will create your feeling of where you

Mike Forrester: 00:07:13

go for the rest of the day, the week, the month, or even the years.

Mike Forrester: 00:07:17

And that was the thing for me is that I used to.

Mike Forrester: 00:07:20

Always say the drama always followed me everywhere I went.

Mike Forrester: 00:07:26

And now I realized that drama never followed me everywhere.

Mike Forrester: 00:07:28

I went, I created drama.

Mike Forrester: 00:07:30

But.

Mike Forrester: 00:07:31

You mean by that?

Mike Forrester: 00:07:32

What's it like?

Mike Forrester: 00:07:33

What do you mean by that?

Mike Forrester: 00:07:34

So many of us, so many of us think that like, Hey, life is just what it is.

Mike Forrester: 00:07:38

Like, And,

Mike Forrester: 00:07:40

Peter John Mather: and, and it's, again, you know, I say

Mike Forrester: 00:07:42

that with that whole kind of

Mike Forrester: 00:07:46

implementation of drama following me is the same concept as everything

Mike Forrester: 00:07:51

always bad happens to me, you know, or why does this let's use this one?

Mike Forrester: 00:07:57

This is always a great one.

Mike Forrester: 00:07:58

Why does this happen to me all the time?

Mike Forrester: 00:08:01

Right.

Mike Forrester: 00:08:02

Let's be honest guys and girls and human beings are the like,

Mike Forrester: 00:08:07

we're, if we're truthful with everything, we've all said that.

Mike Forrester: 00:08:10

Why does it always happen to me?

Mike Forrester: 00:08:13

So it always happens to us because that's what we're focusing on.

Mike Forrester: 00:08:16

Because we're focusing on that, that, that problem.

Mike Forrester: 00:08:19

We're focusing on the negative of it.

Mike Forrester: 00:08:21

We're focusing on the actual issue of it consistently.

Mike Forrester: 00:08:25

And that's what I meant by drama always followed me.

Mike Forrester: 00:08:28

I focused on drama.

Mike Forrester: 00:08:30

So drama followed me, right?

Mike Forrester: 00:08:32

Because of that reason.

Mike Forrester: 00:08:33

And, you know, for people that don't know, if they don't know what the word

Mike Forrester: 00:08:37

drama is, Cause I am a British guy.

Mike Forrester: 00:08:40

It means problems.

Mike Forrester: 00:08:41

It means, um, gossip.

Mike Forrester: 00:08:44

It means people saying bad things about people or, you know, it doesn't

Mike Forrester: 00:08:48

matter what it is or something going wrong or in, you know, it, it doesn't

Mike Forrester: 00:08:53

matter what, um, it was, it was because it was always focused on that aspect.

Mike Forrester: 00:08:58

And it was like, why does this always happen to me?

Mike Forrester: 00:09:02

You know, and it was a very simple shift when I, when I found out how to shift it.

Mike Forrester: 00:09:11

So the question I ask now, even when things don't go right in

Mike Forrester: 00:09:14

business or things don't go right in, uh, personal life, um, because,

Mike Forrester: 00:09:20

hey, Life is a rollercoaster, man.

Mike Forrester: 00:09:23

It's beautiful.

Mike Forrester: 00:09:24

That's what I love about life.

Mike Forrester: 00:09:25

And that's what everybody should love about life is that we don't know what

Mike Forrester: 00:09:30

we're going to wake up to in the morning.

Mike Forrester: 00:09:32

And if things aren't going great, then, Hey, where is the good in it?

Mike Forrester: 00:09:36

Where, where is the good in that person doing that thing?

Mike Forrester: 00:09:39

Or where is the good in that someone pipping the horn at you and.

Mike Forrester: 00:09:43

You know, giving you a gesture, you're like, where is the good in that actually?

Mike Forrester: 00:09:47

Okay.

Mike Forrester: 00:09:48

Uh, maybe he's made me slow down a bit, or where is the good in everything?

Mike Forrester: 00:09:51

And I always try to see the good in it, you know, and someone would say to

Mike Forrester: 00:09:58

me, and even maybe yourself would say, how can you see the good in everything?

Mike Forrester: 00:10:03

You know, but if you don't look for it, then you will never find it.

Mike Forrester: 00:10:09

Would you say that what we're looking for, we'll find like,

Mike Forrester: 00:10:13

as if I'm looking at the negative and saying, you know, drama always follows

Mike Forrester: 00:10:18

me that I'm gonna find that drama.

Mike Forrester: 00:10:21

And if I'm looking, looking for the positive, I'll find the positive.

Mike Forrester: 00:10:26

Peter John Mather: Let's do this then.

Mike Forrester: 00:10:27

Let's do it.

Mike Forrester: 00:10:27

Let's do a little thing, everybody.

Mike Forrester: 00:10:29

Right.

Mike Forrester: 00:10:29

Let's do this little thing that I got taught.

Mike Forrester: 00:10:31

Look around the room.

Mike Forrester: 00:10:33

Right.

Mike Forrester: 00:10:34

Look around the room right now.

Mike Forrester: 00:10:35

I looked for the color green.

Mike Forrester: 00:10:38

Look for the color green, look for the color green, look for the color green.

Mike Forrester: 00:10:41

Right?

Mike Forrester: 00:10:43

How many people, how many, how many things can you see that's green?

Mike Forrester: 00:10:48

In my room, two things, because they're behind me, the plants.

Mike Forrester: 00:10:55

Peter John Mather: Yeah, but before I mentioned that, you weren't

Mike Forrester: 00:10:58

focused on it, so you didn't see it.

Mike Forrester: 00:11:02

So you were so focused right now on me and you, that when even I mentioned it

Mike Forrester: 00:11:07

and I looked around my room briefly, I seen a lot more greens than ever before.

Mike Forrester: 00:11:12

So it's one of them things that when we focus on something,

Mike Forrester: 00:11:16

focus equals feeling, right?

Mike Forrester: 00:11:18

You may, some people may have heard this from different mentors and

Mike Forrester: 00:11:22

this and that out in the world, but focus definitely equals feeling.

Mike Forrester: 00:11:26

If we focus on the drama, we focus on the negative and we focus on the heavy

Mike Forrester: 00:11:31

things in life, then they will come to us because that's all we're focused on.

Mike Forrester: 00:11:35

And if we focus on the light things in life, like being joyful, being

Mike Forrester: 00:11:38

grateful for being here, then.

Mike Forrester: 00:11:41

That's what we will receive.

Mike Forrester: 00:11:42

And I strongly believe, and we can go down a science route and maybe some

Mike Forrester: 00:11:47

of the science, um, boffins out there that may not agree with this, but

Mike Forrester: 00:11:52

we are just made of atoms of energy.

Mike Forrester: 00:11:55

That is it.

Mike Forrester: 00:11:57

We are, this is an avatar.

Mike Forrester: 00:11:59

This is what we live in.

Mike Forrester: 00:12:00

This is my belief.

Mike Forrester: 00:12:01

This is my understanding of it and the higher energy that we put out,

Mike Forrester: 00:12:05

the more beautiful, graceful gratitude that we put out into the world, then

Mike Forrester: 00:12:11

we get to meet people like you and you get to meet people like me and I get

Mike Forrester: 00:12:16

to meet people who I'm a beautiful.

Mike Forrester: 00:12:19

And I get to meet the beautiful, numerous amounts of people that I've met in

Mike Forrester: 00:12:22

the last four years of turning my life around because I didn't see the whole

Mike Forrester: 00:12:28

kind of negative, bad energy in it.

Mike Forrester: 00:12:30

I kind of, and that's the one thing that I would suggest to anybody

Mike Forrester: 00:12:36

just to try, just do, just do it.

Mike Forrester: 00:12:38

Just start looking at the good in everything.

Mike Forrester: 00:12:40

Like, you know, we could go down the routes of, oh yeah, but what

Mike Forrester: 00:12:43

about if somebody robs my house?

Mike Forrester: 00:12:44

Well, where's the good in it?

Mike Forrester: 00:12:46

Okay, well, the good is that you now got CTV cameras on your house,

Mike Forrester: 00:12:51

so there's the good in it, right?

Mike Forrester: 00:12:55

Or, or the other thing is, the good in it is that you've got insurance

Mike Forrester: 00:12:58

for your house and at least you've used it for once because no one ever

Mike Forrester: 00:13:01

reuses their house insurance anyway.

Mike Forrester: 00:13:05

Yeah, very true.

Mike Forrester: 00:13:07

Well, and let's, let's give some context because like who you are now and where

Mike Forrester: 00:13:16

you choose to see things and be and exist.

Mike Forrester: 00:13:21

Very different than where they were before.

Mike Forrester: 00:13:24

Oh yeah.

Mike Forrester: 00:13:24

Like you and I had talked about, Hey, you know, we've got dyslexia,

Mike Forrester: 00:13:29

you know, you found out if at five years old, Hey, I've got dyslexia.

Mike Forrester: 00:13:34

That's got a certain stigma and shame.

Mike Forrester: 00:13:35

That's going to come along with it because you're different than the rest

Mike Forrester: 00:13:39

of, you know, your, your classmates or, or even those just in school in general.

Mike Forrester: 00:13:44

Right.

Mike Forrester: 00:13:44

Yeah.

Mike Forrester: 00:13:45

Um, and then, There were some other things that, you know, as you got

Mike Forrester: 00:13:50

older, that it was like you're making choices, decisions, and, and putting

Mike Forrester: 00:13:56

yourself on a different path, so to speak, you know, as far as like the

Mike Forrester: 00:13:59

drugs and, and stuff, walk us through kind of some of the challenges that you

Mike Forrester: 00:14:05

faced to really give that appreciation for where you are now, because it's.

Mike Forrester: 00:14:10

You know, again, we're not stuck with where we are or who

Mike Forrester: 00:14:14

we are, despite where we're at.

Mike Forrester: 00:14:16

There's somebody that's gone before us, and I think that really helps us

Mike Forrester: 00:14:20

to, you know, see like where you've come from and where you are, Peter.

Mike Forrester: 00:14:24

Peter John Mather: Thank you very much for that.

Mike Forrester: 00:14:25

Um.

Mike Forrester: 00:14:26

I've always had a drive inside of me, a burning desire to be better,

Mike Forrester: 00:14:32

but just not known how to be better.

Mike Forrester: 00:14:34

And, you know, I've always known that there's this burning, and I believe my

Mike Forrester: 00:14:39

belief is that everybody has this inside of them that is like burning inside.

Mike Forrester: 00:14:43

And I'm going to call it the soul that says there is definitely

Mike Forrester: 00:14:47

something better out there for you.

Mike Forrester: 00:14:49

And, you know, I'm, I'm glad that you touched on.

Mike Forrester: 00:14:52

The dyslexia, because I was diagnosed at the age of five.

Mike Forrester: 00:14:56

Um, and, uh, for me, schooling was really bad.

Mike Forrester: 00:15:00

Like it was really hard because it was early nineties.

Mike Forrester: 00:15:04

Well, actually late eighties, early nineties, you know, they didn't

Mike Forrester: 00:15:07

really know a lot about dyslexia back in them days, especially in the UK.

Mike Forrester: 00:15:11

Uh, and they kind of put you in a corner and they kind of treated you very

Mike Forrester: 00:15:15

differently, like extremely differently.

Mike Forrester: 00:15:17

So immediately we had a stigma that.

Mike Forrester: 00:15:19

We, we can't read and write properly.

Mike Forrester: 00:15:21

Um, that was a stigma that was given to us.

Mike Forrester: 00:15:24

And in some aspects, um, you kind of use that as a story that we tell ourselves.

Mike Forrester: 00:15:30

And that's what I used for a very long time, a story that was given to me.

Mike Forrester: 00:15:35

And then at the age of what was I 18 year old, I applied for a bar job, um, in.

Mike Forrester: 00:15:45

In a small little town, and it was a professional bartending job.

Mike Forrester: 00:15:49

So what I mean by that is that I had to learn how to, uh, chuck

Mike Forrester: 00:15:53

bottles around like Tom Cruise from cocktail, you know, flow bartending.

Mike Forrester: 00:15:57

It's called flow bartending.

Mike Forrester: 00:15:59

Um, and all that type of kind of acting, but also in the

Mike Forrester: 00:16:02

mix of that, I had to learn.

Mike Forrester: 00:16:03

You had to learn 265 cocktails.

Mike Forrester: 00:16:07

Off by heart with no book.

Mike Forrester: 00:16:08

So you had to know every single one of them.

Mike Forrester: 00:16:10

So you ordered a sex on the beach, you know exactly what was in it.

Mike Forrester: 00:16:13

All the measurements, all the different liqueurs.

Mike Forrester: 00:16:15

You ordered a woo woo, you knew exactly what was in that.

Mike Forrester: 00:16:18

I mean, that's an easy one, but if you ordered like a, um, say, uh, a voodoo or

Mike Forrester: 00:16:25

something like that, and I'm just naming some of the old cocktails that were

Mike Forrester: 00:16:28

there right now, we needed to, you know, you needed to know them off by heart.

Mike Forrester: 00:16:32

Part of this process was that you had to write every single one of them down.

Mike Forrester: 00:16:39

In a test and then they were signed off and that was part of the deal.

Mike Forrester: 00:16:43

So I remember going to this bar, um, in a small town called Wigan.

Mike Forrester: 00:16:51

And I walk in the, uh, for the job interview and the job interview

Mike Forrester: 00:16:56

was for a company called Maloney's.

Mike Forrester: 00:16:58

They, they don't exist no more, um, in the UK.

Mike Forrester: 00:17:01

Uh, and the bar was based on the bar Cheers, right?

Mike Forrester: 00:17:05

So, you know, the square bar.

Mike Forrester: 00:17:06

Um, so they were building this new bar in Wigan, which was.

Mike Forrester: 00:17:10

Never been done before, and they were never, like, this whole kind of

Mike Forrester: 00:17:13

concept was brand new for the time.

Mike Forrester: 00:17:15

And I walk in there and you know, when you walk into a room and there's like,

Mike Forrester: 00:17:19

like seven or eight other people around and you're all in this interview thing,

Mike Forrester: 00:17:23

and they did this group interview, which I was like, okay, well, I didn't expect that

Mike Forrester: 00:17:29

like, you know, and you know, when you get that feeling of like your heart going.

Mike Forrester: 00:17:36

And they're telling you this, these stories about like, you

Mike Forrester: 00:17:39

have to learn 265 cocktails.

Mike Forrester: 00:17:41

You've got to do this test.

Mike Forrester: 00:17:42

You've got to do this.

Mike Forrester: 00:17:43

And I'm thinking,

Mike Forrester: 00:17:46

right, okay, now I'm dyslexic.

Mike Forrester: 00:17:50

Okay.

Mike Forrester: 00:17:51

So I'm like, and you know, when you kind of get that really dry throat inside,

Mike Forrester: 00:17:56

you know, you're not feeling of when you kind of get a little bit worked up

Mike Forrester: 00:18:00

and you really kind of like notifying.

Mike Forrester: 00:18:02

So I was like, said these words to myself was like, I'm going

Mike Forrester: 00:18:06

to Why do I want this job?

Mike Forrester: 00:18:09

And I'm like, because it's going to make me grow even into

Mike Forrester: 00:18:13

a bigger, better human being.

Mike Forrester: 00:18:15

And I, I'm going to, I'm going to be awesome at this job.

Mike Forrester: 00:18:17

I know I'm going to be amazing.

Mike Forrester: 00:18:18

And I want to chuck bottles around and I've been practicing for this.

Mike Forrester: 00:18:21

And, and I'm like, cool.

Mike Forrester: 00:18:22

Right.

Mike Forrester: 00:18:23

So how do I do this?

Mike Forrester: 00:18:24

And this is a conversation I was having in my head with myself.

Mike Forrester: 00:18:26

And, and I was like, cool, you stand up and I'd never done this in my life ever.

Mike Forrester: 00:18:30

And this was the one thing that, really started my acceleration

Mike Forrester: 00:18:36

in me knowing that I am, I can do better than where I'm sat and where

Mike Forrester: 00:18:42

I am, let's use the word chained.

Mike Forrester: 00:18:44

If you're somebody feels like the chained or the stop, or they, they can't move

Mike Forrester: 00:18:50

forward or the, you know, and they feel claustrophobic in, in, in a certain way.

Mike Forrester: 00:18:55

I stood up and I was like, I'm Peter and I'm dyslexic.

Mike Forrester: 00:19:03

And I was like, In my head I went, why do I follow that?

Mike Forrester: 00:19:09

Then I was like, well, I'm into this and I've done this and I've done this

Mike Forrester: 00:19:13

and then I just kind of reeled off.

Mike Forrester: 00:19:14

And.

Mike Forrester: 00:19:16

I kind of just got it straight out there and realized at that moment that

Mike Forrester: 00:19:20

there is something else that, that's outside of, of being in our comfort zone.

Mike Forrester: 00:19:24

And I'm going to use the word comfort zone because a lot of people that fear

Mike Forrester: 00:19:28

that they can't get out of, you know, drugs and alcohol or, um, depression

Mike Forrester: 00:19:34

or anxiety, or just stuck in a job or stuck in a bad relationship or

Mike Forrester: 00:19:38

whatever it is, they feel stuck.

Mike Forrester: 00:19:40

So, you know, just getting up and sometimes just going and saying for

Mike Forrester: 00:19:46

me at that time was I'm dyslexic then kind of like, give me that catapult.

Mike Forrester: 00:19:51

And, um, I went and got, we went and I got to the second part of the interview,

Mike Forrester: 00:19:56

the second part of the interview was crazy, which I passed that as well.

Mike Forrester: 00:20:00

So I was like, cool.

Mike Forrester: 00:20:02

Got this in the bag.

Mike Forrester: 00:20:03

And then I got a letter saying, sorry, you have not been successful.

Mike Forrester: 00:20:08

And I was like, Right.

Mike Forrester: 00:20:11

Okay.

Mike Forrester: 00:20:12

Well, then the tears started coming down my face because I was like 18 year old

Mike Forrester: 00:20:17

and I didn't really know how to deal with rejection that much at that age.

Mike Forrester: 00:20:21

Um, cause I hadn't really been through that much of it at that point.

Mike Forrester: 00:20:24

I'd been, Tied with this brush, but I hadn't been through real rejection.

Mike Forrester: 00:20:29

And that was the first real time that I'd ever been really rejected in my

Mike Forrester: 00:20:33

life of something I really wanted.

Mike Forrester: 00:20:36

And then there was something inside of me that said, nah, nah, I'm not having this.

Mike Forrester: 00:20:40

Nah.

Mike Forrester: 00:20:41

So I rung the guy up who took the interview and I said, Hey, you know,

Mike Forrester: 00:20:44

it's Peter Mather and he said, hello.

Mike Forrester: 00:20:46

I said, um, I got a real quick question for you.

Mike Forrester: 00:20:48

Why did I not get the job?

Mike Forrester: 00:20:50

I want to know why I didn't get the job.

Mike Forrester: 00:20:51

You didn't tell me in the letter.

Mike Forrester: 00:20:53

And he said, it's because you're dyslexic and we don't think

Mike Forrester: 00:20:55

you can read or write properly.

Mike Forrester: 00:20:56

And we don't think you can get the job.

Mike Forrester: 00:20:59

Done.

Mike Forrester: 00:21:00

And I was like, cool.

Mike Forrester: 00:21:01

So I then started crying even more.

Mike Forrester: 00:21:03

And I was like, I don't agree with you entirely.

Mike Forrester: 00:21:06

And there was a few choice words probably came out of my mouth at that point,

Mike Forrester: 00:21:09

because I was 18 year old and I was upset.

Mike Forrester: 00:21:11

And when you were upset, things just come out.

Mike Forrester: 00:21:14

And he said, well, you know, maybe in the future, but we

Mike Forrester: 00:21:17

don't think you're right for it.

Mike Forrester: 00:21:18

So after I calmed down, I rung it back and I said this.

Mike Forrester: 00:21:23

And this is where I knew I wasn't stuck.

Mike Forrester: 00:21:25

And I think this is where, again, I'm going to reinforce this and say it again,

Mike Forrester: 00:21:28

is that, you know, the path we believe we're on for, for, for a certain amount

Mike Forrester: 00:21:35

of time, it's not always the path we need to stay on or choose to stay on, in fact.

Mike Forrester: 00:21:41

Right.

Mike Forrester: 00:21:41

We always have the opportunity to change the train tracks and pick a

Mike Forrester: 00:21:47

better path, create a better path.

Mike Forrester: 00:21:49

We are the creator of what our life, that's it.

Mike Forrester: 00:21:52

There is only us that creates this.

Mike Forrester: 00:21:55

And what I rung him back and I said, Hey, Paul, his name was Paul.

Mike Forrester: 00:21:59

I said, Hey, Paul.

Mike Forrester: 00:21:59

He said, Hey, Peter.

Mike Forrester: 00:22:00

I said, how about this?

Mike Forrester: 00:22:01

I come and work for you for one month for free of charge.

Mike Forrester: 00:22:05

And I do all the stuff that is needed.

Mike Forrester: 00:22:09

I'll do all the barbacking stuff and I'll learn all them cocktails and

Mike Forrester: 00:22:13

you teach me how to be a bartender.

Mike Forrester: 00:22:16

And after one month, if I've not passed you a little test that you

Mike Forrester: 00:22:19

don't believe I'm going to pass, then I'll just leave and that'll be it.

Mike Forrester: 00:22:24

But I'll do that for free of charge.

Mike Forrester: 00:22:25

I'll work for one month free of charge.

Mike Forrester: 00:22:27

And he was like, well, I was like, yep, I'll do it for free.

Mike Forrester: 00:22:31

And that was the drive to get to the next level of that, you know, um, and he

Mike Forrester: 00:22:37

gave me the job and he actually said to me, no, we can't let you do it for free.

Mike Forrester: 00:22:40

And I was like, nope.

Mike Forrester: 00:22:41

And I didn't take any money off him for a month.

Mike Forrester: 00:22:43

What I didn't know is once I passed it in three weeks, um, believe

Mike Forrester: 00:22:47

it or not, I became one of the, um, best bartenders for the time.

Mike Forrester: 00:22:51

And until I found drugs, by the way, and we'll go into that in a minute.

Mike Forrester: 00:22:55

Um, The, you know, they kept the money that I had behind in the first month

Mike Forrester: 00:23:01

pay that I got, I got two months pay because it was a bonus for passing.

Mike Forrester: 00:23:05

So, and it was just the, the whole kind of question I'll ask anybody out there right

Mike Forrester: 00:23:11

now is, is there anything that still.

Mike Forrester: 00:23:14

You really want to do, but you're self doubting yourself because of

Mike Forrester: 00:23:19

the fact that you don't believe that that is a better choice.

Mike Forrester: 00:23:27

And for me, that choice at that time was a great choice, but then it fell

Mike Forrester: 00:23:32

into the drugs and then I became a.

Mike Forrester: 00:23:34

18 and a half year old after being in that industry for quite some time.

Mike Forrester: 00:23:40

Because I started in the bar industry when I was 15, I became a substance

Mike Forrester: 00:23:43

abuse addict and I became a cocaine addict at 18 year old, well, 18 and

Mike Forrester: 00:23:47

a half year old, nearly 19 year old.

Mike Forrester: 00:23:49

I'd worked for that company for just over a year and a half when,

Mike Forrester: 00:23:52

um, there or thereabouts a year and I was really getting into the

Mike Forrester: 00:23:56

substances and then that snowballed and I went on and off, on and off.

Mike Forrester: 00:24:00

Trying to get off it.

Mike Forrester: 00:24:01

And, um, and then in the end I went through, um, I got into skydiving, believe

Mike Forrester: 00:24:07

it or not, as well to stop the drugs.

Mike Forrester: 00:24:10

And I really did.

Mike Forrester: 00:24:11

And, you know, I, I got into skydiving to stop the drugs and right at the

Mike Forrester: 00:24:15

beginning, it, it really worked because it was another focus, What

Mike Forrester: 00:24:20

you focus on you will achieve.

Mike Forrester: 00:24:23

So I focused on that job.

Mike Forrester: 00:24:25

I achieved that job.

Mike Forrester: 00:24:26

I ended up in the drug world.

Mike Forrester: 00:24:28

I focused on skydiving.

Mike Forrester: 00:24:29

I became a A world renowned skydiver representing Great Britain four

Mike Forrester: 00:24:35

times, you know, and I focused on that massively and it became part of my life.

Mike Forrester: 00:24:41

And then also in between that, I was struggling with the drugs again because

Mike Forrester: 00:24:45

I didn't know how to open up about my feelings about what was going on

Mike Forrester: 00:24:49

in my life and my, um, Self esteem problems, huge self esteem problems.

Mike Forrester: 00:24:55

And I was doing all these things because I had huge self

Mike Forrester: 00:24:58

esteem problems about who I was.

Mike Forrester: 00:25:01

And then the drugs kind of took over.

Mike Forrester: 00:25:03

I let the drugs take over, not, not the drugs taking over me.

Mike Forrester: 00:25:07

Um, I had a heart attack at 21 from a cocaine overdose.

Mike Forrester: 00:25:13

They brought me back to life.

Mike Forrester: 00:25:15

You would have thought that would have changed the way it was.

Mike Forrester: 00:25:17

And it did for a little bit.

Mike Forrester: 00:25:18

I got into skydiving and then.

Mike Forrester: 00:25:21

At the age of 36, uh, I attempted suicide twice, um, by trying

Mike Forrester: 00:25:28

to drive a car off a cliff.

Mike Forrester: 00:25:32

And at that point then, that's when I knew deep down in my soul

Mike Forrester: 00:25:38

that there was a time to change.

Mike Forrester: 00:25:43

And that was not for one minute am I suggesting anybody needs to go to that

Mike Forrester: 00:25:48

amount of pain that I went through.

Mike Forrester: 00:25:50

But I know there is people out there.

Mike Forrester: 00:25:54

That are going through that pain right now, right now.

Mike Forrester: 00:25:58

I know there's people out there that are going through that pain right now.

Mike Forrester: 00:26:01

And all I can say to anybody that's listening to this you

Mike Forrester: 00:26:04

know, talking about it to people that you maybe don't even know.

Mike Forrester: 00:26:09

Or maybe you really do know is the first step to get in any sort of help

Mike Forrester: 00:26:15

to change, because it's our choice.

Mike Forrester: 00:26:18

It's all our choice.

Mike Forrester: 00:26:20

It's no one else's choice.

Mike Forrester: 00:26:22

It's inside our fence.

Mike Forrester: 00:26:23

It's not outside of our fence.

Mike Forrester: 00:26:26

It's always inside of our fence.

Mike Forrester: 00:26:28

Now,

Mike Forrester: 00:26:31

the other thing that.

Mike Forrester: 00:26:33

I think is so powerful that we, we talked about earlier is, you know, it's

Mike Forrester: 00:26:39

inside of our control to ask for help.

Mike Forrester: 00:26:44

And sometimes we're in that position kind of like from a different

Mike Forrester: 00:26:49

perspective, Peter, but it's like, I think back to, you know, when you were

Mike Forrester: 00:26:55

at one of those points of, you And it was a phone call that came through.

Mike Forrester: 00:27:03

We can be on the other side, just like that, you know, when you receive that call

Mike Forrester: 00:27:09

and think something so small may not have that power, but the opposite is the truth.

Mike Forrester: 00:27:18

We don't know what our so called small actions, what

Mike Forrester: 00:27:23

impact they're going to have.

Mike Forrester: 00:27:26

Do you mind kind of taking us back to

Mike Forrester: 00:27:29

Peter John Mather: Not at all.

Mike Forrester: 00:27:30

Not at all.

Mike Forrester: 00:27:30

So I'll take you back to,

Mike Forrester: 00:27:33

let's go all the way back.

Mike Forrester: 00:27:35

Let's go all the way back to that moment.

Mike Forrester: 00:27:37

November, 2020, I drove to Portugal and, uh, I made a commitment when I,

Mike Forrester: 00:27:45

I drove to Portugal to go and see, at the time, my girlfriend, um, and she

Mike Forrester: 00:27:51

had left me from the UK because I was heavily involved with taking drugs.

Mike Forrester: 00:27:57

Um, and I drove over there and I got over there and I was like, now

Mike Forrester: 00:28:02

I'm, I'm doing this and I'm clean.

Mike Forrester: 00:28:04

I'm, I'm, I'm clean.

Mike Forrester: 00:28:06

And I'd listened to the book, have you heard of the book called 'The Secret'?

Mike Forrester: 00:28:10

Yes.

Mike Forrester: 00:28:10

Peter John Mather: Okay.

Mike Forrester: 00:28:11

So I listened to the book with secret on the way over and on the

Mike Forrester: 00:28:14

way over there, I had this whole kind of like, woof, different emotions

Mike Forrester: 00:28:18

coming through and I was like, right.

Mike Forrester: 00:28:19

Okay.

Mike Forrester: 00:28:20

And there was a day that.

Mike Forrester: 00:28:22

We had, we had decided that we were going to try again.

Mike Forrester: 00:28:25

So I was kind of on this high kind of level of vibration of, wow,

Mike Forrester: 00:28:30

yeah, you know, this is great.

Mike Forrester: 00:28:32

And then I turn up one day and I hand her a set of flowers and I could

Mike Forrester: 00:28:37

feel the energy shift inside of her.

Mike Forrester: 00:28:39

And she was like, I want to talk.

Mike Forrester: 00:28:41

And I was like, cool.

Mike Forrester: 00:28:43

So we walked down to the beach and as I was walking down to the

Mike Forrester: 00:28:46

beach, I could smell the sea air.

Mike Forrester: 00:28:50

Coming up and I could hear the seagulls just flying by

Mike Forrester: 00:28:56

and all the birds flying by.

Mike Forrester: 00:28:57

And then I could hear the waves crashing against the, um, the rocks.

Mike Forrester: 00:29:04

And then I could feel the fresh air just breezing straight across my face.

Mike Forrester: 00:29:10

And at this moment I was like, wow, this is insane.

Mike Forrester: 00:29:14

I like heightened my senses.

Mike Forrester: 00:29:16

And then we walked down to the beach and we.

Mike Forrester: 00:29:20

I put my feet on the sand and I could just feel the warm sand through my feet.

Mike Forrester: 00:29:26

And I was like, wow, this is kind of really insane.

Mike Forrester: 00:29:31

This is the, the book.

Mike Forrester: 00:29:32

The secret is like, it is insane.

Mike Forrester: 00:29:35

Like this is wow.

Mike Forrester: 00:29:37

And I was like, yes, life's going to be awesome.

Mike Forrester: 00:29:40

And I was on a high.

Mike Forrester: 00:29:41

I was like, I just, I've been clean at that point for two weeks or a

Mike Forrester: 00:29:45

week and a half, something like that.

Mike Forrester: 00:29:47

I felt great.

Mike Forrester: 00:29:49

I was getting my girl back, you know, I was like, yes, this

Mike Forrester: 00:29:53

is what I'm feeling inside.

Mike Forrester: 00:29:55

I'm like, yeah.

Mike Forrester: 00:29:56

And she sits down and she tells me immediately that she doesn't

Mike Forrester: 00:29:59

want to be with me no more and she can't put up with it.

Mike Forrester: 00:30:01

And

Mike Forrester: 00:30:04

it was like my whole kind of life came crashing around me.

Mike Forrester: 00:30:09

Uh, it was COVID.

Mike Forrester: 00:30:11

Uh, I just bought a new business, the skydiving business.

Mike Forrester: 00:30:16

Got into business with some people and we didn't know where,

Mike Forrester: 00:30:20

when we were going to reopen.

Mike Forrester: 00:30:21

We'd just gone into lockdown again in the UK.

Mike Forrester: 00:30:24

So no one knew what was going on.

Mike Forrester: 00:30:25

And my whole life from being on such a pumped high, no, came crashing

Mike Forrester: 00:30:32

down in such a quick way that.

Mike Forrester: 00:30:36

It just felt like someone had ripped my heart out and stamped on it and I was

Mike Forrester: 00:30:41

like, wow, I don't even know what to do.

Mike Forrester: 00:30:44

And you know, the moments where everybody always asks, are you okay?

Mike Forrester: 00:30:48

You know, in that moment and tears were rolling down my face and the pain was just

Mike Forrester: 00:30:55

Um, burglar born, you know, you'd have probably been through that Mike right?

Mike Forrester: 00:30:59

Where, you know, the pain is just so unbearable that you

Mike Forrester: 00:31:04

just don't even know what to do.

Mike Forrester: 00:31:08

And I, uh, we walk back to the car and she said bye and I sat in the

Mike Forrester: 00:31:15

car and it just started to cry.

Mike Forrester: 00:31:17

I was like, you know, the secret, what a lot of rubbish that is.

Mike Forrester: 00:31:22

Cause like I was doing all these affirmations for the last week driving,

Mike Forrester: 00:31:27

saying that she was going to be with me.

Mike Forrester: 00:31:28

And I was like, well, that didn't come true.

Mike Forrester: 00:31:30

Did it, you know?

Mike Forrester: 00:31:31

And then I was like, well, that's a lot of palaver.

Mike Forrester: 00:31:35

And I just started creating all these stories that were

Mike Forrester: 00:31:37

just coming out of my mouth.

Mike Forrester: 00:31:38

And then I just said, you know what, what is the point of living?

Mike Forrester: 00:31:43

What is the point?

Mike Forrester: 00:31:44

I said, You know, no one wants me, not even her.

Mike Forrester: 00:31:48

I don't even want myself.

Mike Forrester: 00:31:49

I've just come clean for no reason.

Mike Forrester: 00:31:52

What is it all about?

Mike Forrester: 00:31:53

You know, and I visualized at that point, I sat there for a good five

Mike Forrester: 00:31:59

or six minutes and I visualized myself driving off a cliff because

Mike Forrester: 00:32:04

I thought, well, you know what?

Mike Forrester: 00:32:06

If I jump off the cliff, I could survive, but if I go off at like 30 or 40 mile

Mike Forrester: 00:32:10

an hour, then the car is pretty much with the windscreen going to at least

Mike Forrester: 00:32:15

kind of do some serious damage that then I don't have a chance to survive.

Mike Forrester: 00:32:19

And I visualized all of this and talked through all of it and

Mike Forrester: 00:32:24

then said, right, here we go.

Mike Forrester: 00:32:26

So I drove the car.

Mike Forrester: 00:32:28

And I found a place to go and I was driving up on the grass and I got the

Mike Forrester: 00:32:33

car and I was probably around about 300 yards maybe from the edge of

Mike Forrester: 00:32:38

the cliff and I could see the actual kind of cliff coming up very slow.

Mike Forrester: 00:32:44

Sorry, very, very fast, the edge and, you know, when your heart starts to pump

Mike Forrester: 00:32:49

a lot more and you kind of get in your kind of moments of something's trying

Mike Forrester: 00:32:53

to stop you and I was fighting it and, and all of a sudden the phone rang, the

Mike Forrester: 00:32:57

phone rang in the car and I had a decision to make at that point where On the car,

Mike Forrester: 00:33:03

it flashed up on the dash, like kind of the side where, you know, you have your,

Mike Forrester: 00:33:07

um, um, satellite navigational system sat nav and it goes red or green, right?

Mike Forrester: 00:33:13

You have a choice.

Mike Forrester: 00:33:15

And I had a choice whether to pick a red button and decline it

Mike Forrester: 00:33:18

or a green button and answer it.

Mike Forrester: 00:33:21

And for some reason I pushed the green button and it was my

Mike Forrester: 00:33:25

business partner and all he said to me is, are you okay, big man?

Mike Forrester: 00:33:28

That was all he said.

Mike Forrester: 00:33:29

And I broke down and started crying and believe it or not, he was the guy

Mike Forrester: 00:33:35

that I would have never expected to be there for me at that time because he

Mike Forrester: 00:33:40

was very, it was a, he was, he was a gentleman that was not in touch with

Mike Forrester: 00:33:45

his, I'm going to call it feminine energy or, um, Like emotional state.

Mike Forrester: 00:33:52

So when I was crying during the phone, all he could say to me was, well, it's okay,

Mike Forrester: 00:33:58

like, you know, don't worry about it.

Mike Forrester: 00:33:59

There's plenty more ladies out there.

Mike Forrester: 00:34:01

And, and he was trying to make me laugh.

Mike Forrester: 00:34:03

And then he said, you know, um, you own a skydiving center, so you're

Mike Forrester: 00:34:08

going to be all right, buddy.

Mike Forrester: 00:34:09

There's going to be loads of women.

Mike Forrester: 00:34:10

And I was like, I know at that moment, I don't even think

Mike Forrester: 00:34:15

he knew what he was saying.

Mike Forrester: 00:34:18

I had a choice at that moment.

Mike Forrester: 00:34:21

Whether to end it or change it.

Mike Forrester: 00:34:25

And by picking the green button, I asked the question to so many people.

Mike Forrester: 00:34:31

How many times have we just thought, you know what, I'll ring that person.

Mike Forrester: 00:34:35

Oh no, you know what?

Mike Forrester: 00:34:37

Nah, I'll not ring him.

Mike Forrester: 00:34:40

You know, uh, you know what, I'll do that tomorrow or I'll start that tomorrow.

Mike Forrester: 00:34:45

And ever since that day, the realization of that one phone call saved my life.

Mike Forrester: 00:34:51

Now, maybe it was a gift from God.

Mike Forrester: 00:34:53

Maybe it was a gift from the universe.

Mike Forrester: 00:34:55

Maybe it was just him being and picking up the phone to see how actually I was.

Mike Forrester: 00:35:01

Because we hadn't spoke for like two or three weeks, you know?

Mike Forrester: 00:35:06

So I put the question out there to everybody.

Mike Forrester: 00:35:11

Who is it that you haven't picked the phone up to and called?

Mike Forrester: 00:35:14

Who is it?

Mike Forrester: 00:35:15

That you have kept putting off.

Mike Forrester: 00:35:18

What is it that you kept putting off each day?

Mike Forrester: 00:35:21

What is it that you keep saying, I'll start it tomorrow?

Mike Forrester: 00:35:24

Because tomorrow never comes.

Mike Forrester: 00:35:25

And actually for me, tomorrow did actually come.

Mike Forrester: 00:35:29

Because he did ring me and I did pick up that phone and I did say hello.

Mike Forrester: 00:35:34

Well, I didn't really say hello.

Mike Forrester: 00:35:35

I just cried and he said, how are you doing?

Mike Forrester: 00:35:39

You know, and ask yourself this question, everybody.

Mike Forrester: 00:35:43

And I asked this to you, Mike, as well.

Mike Forrester: 00:35:47

What is it that you're putting off in your life and why?

Mike Forrester: 00:35:51

And just write it down.

Mike Forrester: 00:35:53

Take the moment to write it down about what is it that you're putting off in

Mike Forrester: 00:35:57

your life right now, that you deep down in your soul know that you must change.

Mike Forrester: 00:36:04

And you really want to change and then write the reason why you're

Mike Forrester: 00:36:09

putting it off, because you'll find the reason is not even that big.

Mike Forrester: 00:36:15

It is something so simple that you'll be like, is that it?

Mike Forrester: 00:36:21

Is that actually it?

Mike Forrester: 00:36:23

Is that all it is?

Mike Forrester: 00:36:24

Because actually when we find the reason why we do things in life, that's what

Mike Forrester: 00:36:29

gives us drive because it's never a how, it's never a do, it's always a why.

Mike Forrester: 00:36:35

Find the why, you'll find the path.

Mike Forrester: 00:36:40

Yeah, the amazing thing from that as well is when we look at

Mike Forrester: 00:36:43

those things that are holding us back that we're, you know, maybe unaware of

Mike Forrester: 00:36:48

consciously is that there is somebody usually that we know if we're willing

Mike Forrester: 00:36:55

to reach out and ask for help, it's like, Nothing to them, whereas for us,

Mike Forrester: 00:37:01

we've made it into this mountain and, uh, you know, it's, it's unscalable

Mike Forrester: 00:37:07

almost, but there's somebody that it's like, would love to help us with it.

Mike Forrester: 00:37:11

We just, as guys have to get to that point of, Hey, Peter, I need help with this.

Mike Forrester: 00:37:16

Do you, are you, are you up for it?

Mike Forrester: 00:37:18

Does this sound like something you'd be interested in?

Mike Forrester: 00:37:21

And nine times out of 10 guys are going to like be, Hey, yeah, you

Mike Forrester: 00:37:25

know, I may not be able to get to it now, but let's schedule something.

Mike Forrester: 00:37:28

Let's get it done.

Mike Forrester: 00:37:29

Peter John Mather: Just a call.

Mike Forrester: 00:37:29

Um, exactly.

Mike Forrester: 00:37:31

Peter John Mather: And it, and it's just one of them things where people,

Mike Forrester: 00:37:35

um, you know, guys, especially, I'm going to talk about men for a second.

Mike Forrester: 00:37:39

And I, I saw a whole women are listening out there, by the way.

Mike Forrester: 00:37:42

Um, But men are, men are less likely to ask for help than females.

Mike Forrester: 00:37:48

And that's actual fact.

Mike Forrester: 00:37:49

That's actually fact.

Mike Forrester: 00:37:51

But actually it's men that need help more than women.

Mike Forrester: 00:37:53

Because there is way more men in need.

Mike Forrester: 00:37:56

Because men actually just kind of go, Hey Mike, um, I got this problem.

Mike Forrester: 00:38:03

And you go, okay, how do we fix it?

Mike Forrester: 00:38:05

And actually that's not what we want to hear.

Mike Forrester: 00:38:08

Um, we don't want that.

Mike Forrester: 00:38:10

You know, we want to go, Hey Mike, I got this problem with such and such a thing.

Mike Forrester: 00:38:16

And I'd really like your opinion or your belief or just really like your

Mike Forrester: 00:38:22

help on this, please, because I'm not in a great place right now and

Mike Forrester: 00:38:25

I'm not having a great day or not.

Mike Forrester: 00:38:27

In fact, I'm not having a great month and just understanding that it's

Mike Forrester: 00:38:31

okay to say them words as a male.

Mike Forrester: 00:38:35

Especially, again, I'm sorry out there, ladies, but I'm just

Mike Forrester: 00:38:38

talking to the men out there.

Mike Forrester: 00:38:40

It's so important to just ask that.

Mike Forrester: 00:38:43

So if anybody is out there that, you know, wants to, and I'll put this out there

Mike Forrester: 00:38:48

as well to everybody that's listening.

Mike Forrester: 00:38:50

If anybody just wants to drop me a message on Instagram.

Mike Forrester: 00:38:54

Peter John Mather, 1984, um, you know, find me on Facebook, Peter Mather, Peter

Mike Forrester: 00:38:59

John Mather again, um, you know, you'll see a picture of me and my beautiful, uh,

Mike Forrester: 00:39:05

wife, Ash, um, as Simpsons characters, um, and then just drop me a message

Mike Forrester: 00:39:11

and I'm more than happy to talk to you anyway, just to see how you are.

Mike Forrester: 00:39:15

Send a message and I, I'm not going to talk for my book, I believe

Mike Forrester: 00:39:19

that maybe Maybe okay for it

Mike Forrester: 00:39:22

a hundred percent.

Mike Forrester: 00:39:23

Yeah, they can reach out to Peter to talk to

Mike Forrester: 00:39:26

Peter John Mather: me.

Mike Forrester: 00:39:27

No.

Mike Forrester: 00:39:28

Yes

Mike Forrester: 00:39:29

No, yes, that's a hundred percent and Peter I'll have

Mike Forrester: 00:39:34

the links to your socials in the show notes So, you know if somebody's like

Mike Forrester: 00:39:39

yes, I want to connect with Peter.

Mike Forrester: 00:39:42

They'll be able to to do that as well there

Mike Forrester: 00:39:45

Peter John Mather: And I want to share one more thing with you, Mike, if

Mike Forrester: 00:39:47

you don't mind as well to finish on a real kind of, I mean, you've more

Mike Forrester: 00:39:50

than likely got more questions and I hope for you guys and girls that I can

Mike Forrester: 00:39:55

come back on the show in the future.

Mike Forrester: 00:39:56

Definitely love to, um, is when I ask this question and I'm going to ask

Mike Forrester: 00:40:03

this question to you and please reply to it, you know, and this is what I

Mike Forrester: 00:40:08

always make an agreement to myself is when I ask, how are you today?

Mike Forrester: 00:40:13

So, Mike, how are you today?

Mike Forrester: 00:40:15

Doing great, man.

Mike Forrester: 00:40:16

Peter John Mather: Cool.

Mike Forrester: 00:40:18

I really am prepared to listen to the worst.

Mike Forrester: 00:40:22

I'm really prepared.

Mike Forrester: 00:40:24

And when I asked the question, it's a meaningful question

Mike Forrester: 00:40:27

about how are you today means, please tell me whatever it is.

Mike Forrester: 00:40:31

Cause I ain't going to brush it off.

Mike Forrester: 00:40:33

You know, I ain't going to brush it off.

Mike Forrester: 00:40:35

So there's, if there's one thing I can give anybody out there that wants

Mike Forrester: 00:40:38

to help people, because me speaking to you right now is helping me.

Mike Forrester: 00:40:42

And, uh, and you speaking to me is helping you, right.

Mike Forrester: 00:40:47

And vice versa for the rest of the world is when you ask someone

Mike Forrester: 00:40:50

earlier, really be prepared to sit down and see really earlier,

Mike Forrester: 00:40:55

you know?

Mike Forrester: 00:40:57

And it's being intentional.

Mike Forrester: 00:40:58

I think there's, there's a realization of who you can do that with.

Mike Forrester: 00:41:03

Um, because I made the mistake before, you know, before, when I was

Mike Forrester: 00:41:07

first beginning to do this of just.

Mike Forrester: 00:41:10

Telling anybody and everybody you're prepared, Peter, not everybody else.

Mike Forrester: 00:41:15

Peter John Mather: That's true.

Mike Forrester: 00:41:17

And so it was kind of like I did them a disservice at that

Mike Forrester: 00:41:22

time at that point, but it's like.

Mike Forrester: 00:41:24

Building that community, that circle of people around us who are asking

Mike Forrester: 00:41:30

us, you know, having like a Peter where it's like, Peter, dude, I am

Mike Forrester: 00:41:35

struggling and here's what's going on.

Mike Forrester: 00:41:38

Just like, you know, you broke down when you got that call, being able to be Real

Mike Forrester: 00:41:46

and honest about what's going on with somebody, I think is vital for us rather

Mike Forrester: 00:41:50

than just trying to medicate it, mask it, hide it, whatever we're going to do

Mike Forrester: 00:41:55

until it becomes this bomb that explodes and nobody, you know, is prepared for it.

Mike Forrester: 00:42:01

Um, I think just having, you know, men around us in particular, that it's

Mike Forrester: 00:42:07

like, Hey, I'm, I'm ready to be here.

Mike Forrester: 00:42:10

And conversely being ready to be there.

Mike Forrester: 00:42:13

Like if you called me, Peter, Hey Mike, this is what's going on.

Mike Forrester: 00:42:17

Being ready to, to, to be there and stand shoulder to shoulder.

Mike Forrester: 00:42:21

Um, yeah.

Mike Forrester: 00:42:22

You know, take stuff on.

Mike Forrester: 00:42:23

I think that's vital for us.

Mike Forrester: 00:42:24

And unfortunately, it's just like those, those small actions that we

Mike Forrester: 00:42:28

talked about earlier, we don't give it enough value for what actually it

Mike Forrester: 00:42:32

does hold as importance in our life.

Mike Forrester: 00:42:36

Peter John Mather: It always, it's huge for me.

Mike Forrester: 00:42:38

It's like I say, I mean, if it wasn't for that one phone

Mike Forrester: 00:42:41

call, um, I wouldn't be in it.

Mike Forrester: 00:42:43

The things that people think are the smallest things are normally

Mike Forrester: 00:42:46

the biggest things in the world, you know, uh, just for like, and there's

Mike Forrester: 00:42:51

a lot of things that are very small in life that we all create big things.

Mike Forrester: 00:42:56

So stomping my toe in the morning, it's not a big thing, but a lot of

Mike Forrester: 00:43:01

people make it a big thing, you know, or scratching our car on accident.

Mike Forrester: 00:43:07

It's not a real big thing, but people make it a big thing, you know, but

Mike Forrester: 00:43:12

the thing that picking up the phone that everybody thinks is not a

Mike Forrester: 00:43:16

big thing actually is a big thing.

Mike Forrester: 00:43:18

And

Mike Forrester: 00:43:21

it's, it's, it's one of those of like, think about you do

Mike Forrester: 00:43:24

stub your toe in the morning, Making that choice to let that determine

Mike Forrester: 00:43:30

how our day goes, man, we can.

Mike Forrester: 00:43:34

Make the choice of giving power to the wrong stuff and, you know, misaligning

Mike Forrester: 00:43:39

what we should focus on and what we should be doing, but it's a matter of

Mike Forrester: 00:43:44

choosing what does that have the power and then taking those kind of actions

Mike Forrester: 00:43:48

and, and like you talked about having that vision, that perspective, that

Mike Forrester: 00:43:53

attitude and demeanor, um, that does set things in a different way, rather

Mike Forrester: 00:43:58

than focusing on the drama that's going around that distracts and sends

Mike Forrester: 00:44:02

us on a, You know, a downward spiral.

Mike Forrester: 00:44:05

Mm-Hmm, . Well, let's, let's take this one, Peter.

Mike Forrester: 00:44:09

There is a ton more we want to talk about.

Mike Forrester: 00:44:11

I think we need to do that on another time.

Mike Forrester: 00:44:13

But let's finish this one out.

Mike Forrester: 00:44:15

How can guys connect with you outside of the podcast?

Mike Forrester: 00:44:17

Is, is Instagram the best?

Mike Forrester: 00:44:19

Like you Yeah.

Mike Forrester: 00:44:20

Instagram shared

Mike Forrester: 00:44:20

Peter John Mather: earlier, whichever it is.

Mike Forrester: 00:44:22

You know, think Instagram or Facebook, um, is Peter John Mather on Facebook.

Mike Forrester: 00:44:28

PeterJohnMather1984 on Instagram.

Mike Forrester: 00:44:32

Uh, yeah.

Mike Forrester: 00:44:33

There's, there's a two places that people can contact me on if they want

Mike Forrester: 00:44:36

to contact me and, you know, uh, add me.

Mike Forrester: 00:44:39

And then I do, um, once every two weeks, I probably do a daily, uh, kind of

Mike Forrester: 00:44:45

podcast thing, just as an inspiring thing.

Mike Forrester: 00:44:47

I may ask a question and I'm going to ask you this question at the end as well.

Mike Forrester: 00:44:52

Um, so yeah, that's how you can contact me.

Mike Forrester: 00:44:55

Getting contacts.

Mike Forrester: 00:44:56

If you really want to

Mike Forrester: 00:44:58

awesome.

Mike Forrester: 00:44:59

Well, Peter, I appreciate it.

Mike Forrester: 00:45:00

Thank you so much for, for joining and sharing the encouragement that, Hey,

Mike Forrester: 00:45:05

where we are today is not like final, that we do have the power between like, you

Mike Forrester: 00:45:12

talked about the green and the red button.

Mike Forrester: 00:45:14

We have power in our decisions and our choices and, uh, our perspective as well,

Mike Forrester: 00:45:20

man, that, that is so, so impactful.

Mike Forrester: 00:45:25

In our day to day, hour to hour, um, just being intentional there.

Mike Forrester: 00:45:29

So Peter, I totally appreciate you coming and sharing all that stuff and, uh, look

Mike Forrester: 00:45:34

forward to having you on again, my friend.

Mike Forrester: 00:45:36

Peter John Mather: Thank you, buddy.