The Importance of Knowing Yourself Before Finding Your Why with David Ask

Mike Forrester: 00:00:01

Well, hello and welcome back, my friend.

Mike Forrester: 00:00:04

And this week I'm joined by David Ask.

Mike Forrester: 00:00:06

David has like done a transformation in his identity, figuring out who he

Mike Forrester: 00:00:11

is and then building from there, you know, like his, why his, what, you

Mike Forrester: 00:00:16

know, his purpose and, and direction.

Mike Forrester: 00:00:19

So we're going to jump into that.

Mike Forrester: 00:00:21

We're also going to look at thinking better, not just thinking

Mike Forrester: 00:00:25

bigger, which I'm like, David, we got to delve into this.

Mike Forrester: 00:00:29

So we're going to get into some awesome stuff.

Mike Forrester: 00:00:31

Dave's got just a, a different perspective.

Mike Forrester: 00:00:35

And I think this is one that we really need because so often We've gotten locked

Mike Forrester: 00:00:40

into like our mindset and those around us.

Mike Forrester: 00:00:43

And we just kind of get into this, this rut of thinking and looking

Mike Forrester: 00:00:48

to unlock some new thoughts, some new processes with David here.

Mike Forrester: 00:00:51

So David, how are you doing today, my friend?

David Ask: 00:00:54

Well, first of all, I'm really thrilled to be here.

David Ask: 00:00:56

I knew when you and I first started talking that we were

David Ask: 00:00:59

kind of kindred spirits.

David Ask: 00:01:00

And, um, I think we're going to have a lot of, a lot of fun, you

David Ask: 00:01:04

know, jumping into the deep end of the pool as it were here today.

David Ask: 00:01:07

So thanks for having me.

Mike Forrester: 00:01:08

Absolutely.

Mike Forrester: 00:01:08

Yeah.

Mike Forrester: 00:01:09

I think this is going to be a deep pool.

Mike Forrester: 00:01:12

Our conversation was like, all right, podcast.

Mike Forrester: 00:01:14

Oh yeah.

Mike Forrester: 00:01:14

We got to get back to the purpose and the focus.

Mike Forrester: 00:01:17

So, well, David, let's start off, man.

Mike Forrester: 00:01:20

What does life look like professionally for you today today?

David Ask: 00:01:23

Yeah.

David Ask: 00:01:24

So I'm kind of the consummate entrepreneur.

David Ask: 00:01:26

I'm it's kind of interesting.

David Ask: 00:01:28

I grew up in a family that, you know, people that, You know, my parents both

David Ask: 00:01:32

own businesses and so on, but, you know, there's a difference between being an

David Ask: 00:01:35

entrepreneur and then just creating a job for yourself and, you know, so I'm,

David Ask: 00:01:40

I didn't realize kind of my personality and, you know, who I am, you know, till

David Ask: 00:01:45

later in life, I was kind of acting in alignment with some of that, but

David Ask: 00:01:48

I just hadn't assigned meaning to it.

David Ask: 00:01:50

So to answer your question.

David Ask: 00:01:51

Professionally, I do a few different things.

David Ask: 00:01:53

So I kind of, my main book of business as it were, is, uh, I, uh, developed a

David Ask: 00:01:58

product about 10 years ago, an invention, uh, called the stat guard plus, and

David Ask: 00:02:03

it's a, a thermostat guard, you know, to keep people from tampering with a

David Ask: 00:02:07

thermostat, but it has a combination lock.

David Ask: 00:02:09

As opposed to a key.

David Ask: 00:02:11

Um, because of course, uh, you know, people have a hard time

David Ask: 00:02:15

keeping up with that tiny key.

David Ask: 00:02:16

So I, I was, uh, I worked for a large telecom chain for many years

David Ask: 00:02:20

and in facilities management.

David Ask: 00:02:22

And, um, you know, technically my brother in law is the one who thought of the

David Ask: 00:02:25

idea, he and I went into business together and then I ended up buying him out.

David Ask: 00:02:29

A few years after that.

David Ask: 00:02:30

And anyway, um, of course we use stat guards and, you know, hundreds and

David Ask: 00:02:35

hundreds of locations because people can't keep their hands off the thermostat.

David Ask: 00:02:39

So I invented a stat guard with a combo lock.

David Ask: 00:02:42

And right now we're in, um, over 3, 700 retail stores.

David Ask: 00:02:46

And with Home Depot and Lowe's and we just got into the true

David Ask: 00:02:48

value distribution chain.

David Ask: 00:02:50

So I'm kind of knocking on those doors.

David Ask: 00:02:53

And so I've got another product that I'm actually developing for the pro

David Ask: 00:02:57

channel, which is called the lockbox pro.

David Ask: 00:02:59

And you can use that to cover, you know, thermostat or whatever controls you want.

David Ask: 00:03:04

So that's kind of my, my mainstay.

David Ask: 00:03:06

I do some coaching.

David Ask: 00:03:07

I lead two mastermind groups within the iron sharpens iron mastermind.

David Ask: 00:03:12

And, um, Um, and then I also do music.

David Ask: 00:03:15

So I, I'm not sure if I mentioned that earlier, Mike, but I, I moved

David Ask: 00:03:19

to Nashville, you know, as a, when it was a vocal major at Belmont.

David Ask: 00:03:23

And so I've recorded three records and I still this, this year I've done.

David Ask: 00:03:29

I don't know, six or seven concerts and, um, get to sing, you know, I've

David Ask: 00:03:33

been able to sing backup for all the, you know, the Nashville stars

David Ask: 00:03:36

here, which has been really exciting.

David Ask: 00:03:38

And so I, I do a lot of, I do a lot of different things and it's,

David Ask: 00:03:42

it's interesting, you know, so.

David Ask: 00:03:45

So professionally, I feel like I'm kind of shifting gears a little bit more

David Ask: 00:03:48

here, even recently with regards to, um, you know, I'm writing a book called

David Ask: 00:03:52

the 'Guardians of Grit' and we'll get into that later, but I, I really am

David Ask: 00:03:56

passionate about, you know, helping people understand, you know, themselves, right.

David Ask: 00:04:03

You know, we, that's that, that self awareness piece is so important.

David Ask: 00:04:08

And again, we can get more into that, but I feel like my trajectory

David Ask: 00:04:12

is kind of morphing a little bit here just in this last six months.

Mike Forrester: 00:04:16

There is so many hats, and I love that because once

Mike Forrester: 00:04:22

you become like solid in who you are, you then gain the confidence to

Mike Forrester: 00:04:28

step out into other areas that are.

Mike Forrester: 00:04:32

of interest to you before, when you're not solid in, you know, who you are

Mike Forrester: 00:04:38

and, and what, what you can do, like that confidence is just lacking.

Mike Forrester: 00:04:43

And I mean, you're like not just in one small niche, but this is different,

Mike Forrester: 00:04:49

different sectors, different areas, different interests and, and, and hobbies.

Mike Forrester: 00:04:54

And so I love the fact that as, As you get that foundation, then you can build

Mike Forrester: 00:05:01

almost like this custom life, right?

Mike Forrester: 00:05:03

It's not a cookie cutter thing.

David Ask: 00:05:04

Yeah.

David Ask: 00:05:05

And I'm, you know, I'm, it's funny you say that.

David Ask: 00:05:06

I, I was literally talking to Lisa the other day, my wife, and you know, like,

David Ask: 00:05:10

I'm so grateful that I've got, you know, some income that is, you know, largely

David Ask: 00:05:15

passive at this point so that I have the liberty to kind of do some other things.

David Ask: 00:05:19

Like, you know, I am absolutely busy all the time because I feel

David Ask: 00:05:24

You know, very, very missional, very intrinsically motivated, you know,

David Ask: 00:05:29

to make, you know, the, I forget who said it, but you know, this idea

David Ask: 00:05:32

of the dent in the universe, right?

David Ask: 00:05:34

What is, what, what does the David Ask dent look like?

David Ask: 00:05:38

And when I get to, you know, get to see that, you know, it's.

David Ask: 00:05:42

I mean, that's that sense of fulfillment kind of draws you

David Ask: 00:05:45

further into that, that mission.

David Ask: 00:05:47

And um, so yeah.

Mike Forrester: 00:05:51

Yeah.

Mike Forrester: 00:05:51

And I think that's such a, almost like a, uh, commonly asked question

Mike Forrester: 00:05:56

is like, what's my purpose?

Mike Forrester: 00:05:57

Why am I here?

Mike Forrester: 00:05:58

Yeah.

Mike Forrester: 00:05:59

And you figured that out for yourself personally and now you're helping

Mike Forrester: 00:06:04

other people to do that as well.

David Ask: 00:06:06

And some people think that it's, I mean, it's a really hard thing

David Ask: 00:06:09

to understand and I've, I've realized that nope, it's actually quite practical.

David Ask: 00:06:13

And, um, you know, we think that, um, I'll jump into the deep end of the pool here

David Ask: 00:06:18

for just a second, but I, we think that, especially in our culture lately, right?

David Ask: 00:06:25

We think that we have to, um, generate something.

David Ask: 00:06:29

We think that we have to become.

David Ask: 00:06:32

You know, something or somebody, or at least not be a nobody to have worth

David Ask: 00:06:37

and to have found, you know, our niche.

David Ask: 00:06:39

I got to just, you know, white knuckle this thing until I bear down

David Ask: 00:06:43

on something and create something or do something or say something or

David Ask: 00:06:46

sing something or whatever that might be that other people would then.

David Ask: 00:06:51

You know, somehow say, Oh, you know, David, you've arrived, or now you're

David Ask: 00:06:55

finally worth something, you know, this, this external validation.

David Ask: 00:06:59

And it's again, not that we don't need that.

David Ask: 00:07:02

We just need it from the right people in our lives, you know, especially when we're

David Ask: 00:07:07

being raised, but you know, it's amazing how you can actually dial in on who you

David Ask: 00:07:12

are, you know, what lights you up, all the things that describe authenticity and

David Ask: 00:07:17

to start operating in that uniqueness.

David Ask: 00:07:18

I mean, very quickly, if you're asked.

David Ask: 00:07:20

The right questions.

David Ask: 00:07:22

And then you get the right, you know, support around you.

David Ask: 00:07:24

It's, it's absolutely fascinating.

Mike Forrester: 00:07:27

Yeah.

Mike Forrester: 00:07:27

I, for me, it goes back to understanding.

Mike Forrester: 00:07:31

It wasn't so much what I was doing, but who I was being.

Mike Forrester: 00:07:35

And I kept chasing that moving target of what I was doing to

Mike Forrester: 00:07:39

create that worth and validation.

Mike Forrester: 00:07:41

Yeah.

Mike Forrester: 00:07:42

When If I get the internal parts, right, man, what's on the outside

Mike Forrester: 00:07:47

just pours out of it rather than being like, it's almost like having

Mike Forrester: 00:07:51

a waterfall that goes backwards.

Mike Forrester: 00:07:53

It's it doesn't work.

Mike Forrester: 00:07:57

So, well, let's jump in on the personal side.

Mike Forrester: 00:08:01

You talked about some singing.

Mike Forrester: 00:08:03

Like, what is, what else does your life, um, comprise of David?

David Ask: 00:08:08

Yeah.

David Ask: 00:08:09

So I told you before we hit record, Lisa and I just celebrated our 25th

David Ask: 00:08:13

anniversary and, um, I definitely married up, you know, she's as a, as a, as a

David Ask: 00:08:20

kind of a creative and dreamer and doer and the guy that is, wears a lot of

David Ask: 00:08:24

hats, like you said, I, she's got to put up with a lot with me and so I'm, I'm.

David Ask: 00:08:30

Just eternally grateful for my wife.

David Ask: 00:08:32

She's just an amazing human being.

David Ask: 00:08:34

Uh, we have two children.

David Ask: 00:08:36

So my son is 19.

David Ask: 00:08:38

He's in his first year of college at, uh, Tennessee Technological

David Ask: 00:08:42

University, as they say, Tennessee Tech, in Cookville, Tennessee.

David Ask: 00:08:45

So he's about an hour and a half east of Nashville.

David Ask: 00:08:48

And my daughter is a junior.

David Ask: 00:08:50

No, well, now a senior in high school.

David Ask: 00:08:52

And, um, it's funny, Mike, she's my little musical buddy.

David Ask: 00:08:56

So, uh, Catherine is, or we call her Kate.

David Ask: 00:09:00

Um, she is actually like.

David Ask: 00:09:02

Like an accomplished musician.

David Ask: 00:09:04

So she, um, is, uh, first chair in the Vanderbilt, uh, children's orchestra.

David Ask: 00:09:10

She was first chair, all state first chair, mid state

David Ask: 00:09:12

first chair honors orchestra.

David Ask: 00:09:14

She's a, uh, a wonderful musician and plays piano, sings, and then

David Ask: 00:09:19

she's very creative artistically.

David Ask: 00:09:21

I think she got all of that from my mom.

David Ask: 00:09:23

It's pretty amazing.

David Ask: 00:09:24

And so what's fascinating is, is, uh, Kate and I have actually done,

David Ask: 00:09:28

you know, several concerts together.

David Ask: 00:09:31

And, you know, so as a, you know, a performer, um, you know, to be able

David Ask: 00:09:35

to stand on some really, and I'm talking, I'm actually staring at a

David Ask: 00:09:39

non disclosure agreement that I framed on my wall because they told me I

David Ask: 00:09:44

cannot admit publicly to performing there, um, in any way, shape, or form.

David Ask: 00:09:50

And truth of the matter is, is.

David Ask: 00:09:53

I'm kind of thrilled that I can't, and I'll, I'll get into that later.

David Ask: 00:09:56

If you would make a note and ask me why later, but to have those experiences

David Ask: 00:10:00

with my daughter, you know, is, yeah, it's just, it's just amazing.

David Ask: 00:10:03

So we've got two kids and 25 years of marriage live on the north

David Ask: 00:10:07

side of Nashville and, uh, Yeah.

David Ask: 00:10:10

Just, you know, a lot to be thankful for.

Mike Forrester: 00:10:13

Yeah, I can imagine, man.

Mike Forrester: 00:10:14

And it sounds, sounds fantastic.

Mike Forrester: 00:10:18

One question I want to ask, so in the whole thing of like the identity crisis

Mike Forrester: 00:10:24

and we'll jump, we can jump into that more, but just, just thinking as you're

Mike Forrester: 00:10:28

talking about having done concerts, you know, uh, performances with Kate.

Mike Forrester: 00:10:36

Would that have happened if you had remained in that position of having

Mike Forrester: 00:10:41

an identity crisis to step out with her in, in that, in that way,

David Ask: 00:10:47

you know, a prop.

David Ask: 00:10:48

I'll say it this way, probably.

David Ask: 00:10:51

And at the same time, I think that I would have been You know, sorely lacking

David Ask: 00:10:57

in, in the joy in that I would have had things, you know, that, that term

David Ask: 00:11:02

disorder, like you have a mental disorder and eating disorder or whatever it is.

David Ask: 00:11:05

Right.

David Ask: 00:11:06

I think I would have had things disordered, meaning, you know, I

David Ask: 00:11:10

would have placed the applause of others above, you know, the joy of.

David Ask: 00:11:18

I get choked up even saying it, but the joy of looking at my baby, right,

David Ask: 00:11:22

who is literally standing on a stage with me getting a standing ovation

David Ask: 00:11:27

from billionaires at the age of 15.

David Ask: 00:11:29

And she's, and she has no clue really what she's doing and I'm kind of glad.

David Ask: 00:11:33

Right.

David Ask: 00:11:34

She's just, she's hanging out with dad and dad is smiling at her.

David Ask: 00:11:37

And I'm like, Hey, why don't you play that song?

David Ask: 00:11:39

Well, she's just doing her deal and being loved by her father.

David Ask: 00:11:43

And in the past, you know, I would have stood on, you know, that's well, I did.

David Ask: 00:11:49

And especially in my, you know, late teens, twenties and early thirties, you

David Ask: 00:11:53

know, stood on the stages, you know, just.

David Ask: 00:11:58

Yeah, with a disordered ness, you know, wanting to be somebody, you

David Ask: 00:12:03

know, or at least not be a total failure, you know, that kind of thing.

David Ask: 00:12:07

And, and just in feeling the weight of that pressure, feeling the, you

David Ask: 00:12:11

know, the, like you, I mean, you've said that, you know, use the term

David Ask: 00:12:14

crisis, you know, it's like just to, to feeling that internal crisis.

David Ask: 00:12:17

Like I don't, I'm not in the driver's seat of my own life.

David Ask: 00:12:21

I'm handing the keys to everything and everybody around me.

David Ask: 00:12:24

And, yeah.

David Ask: 00:12:26

No wonder I feel fragmented and isolated and uncertain and angry and frustrated

David Ask: 00:12:32

and overwhelmed, you know, it's, it's handing the keys to everybody else.

Mike Forrester: 00:12:38

It's, it's a fleeting feeling like when you get

Mike Forrester: 00:12:44

to what you're talking about, like, Hey, I just did this performance.

Mike Forrester: 00:12:48

It it's there and then it's gone and you're looking for the next.

Mike Forrester: 00:12:55

Yeah, it's a fix.

Mike Forrester: 00:12:56

Yeah.

Mike Forrester: 00:12:57

Very much.

Mike Forrester: 00:12:57

So when you look back, like, where do you see that that stemmed from?

Mike Forrester: 00:13:03

What, what kind of created, um, you know, that the, the disorder like

Mike Forrester: 00:13:12

you've talked about for your identity, like where did that stem from?

David Ask: 00:13:16

Yeah.

David Ask: 00:13:17

Well, you know what I think is fascinating?

David Ask: 00:13:19

I think it's very common, you know, in the fact that, you know, we, we grow up

David Ask: 00:13:23

in a, a society where everyone is graded.

David Ask: 00:13:28

You know, we, we say that we don't have caste, a caste system

David Ask: 00:13:31

here, you know what I mean?

David Ask: 00:13:33

But at the same time, you know, who is it that gets the applause?

David Ask: 00:13:36

Who is it that gets the attention?

David Ask: 00:13:38

Who is it that gets the limelight?

David Ask: 00:13:39

Who is it that's, you know, gets the place of honor in any, in any room?

David Ask: 00:13:43

It's people who, who, Are accomplishing things publicly, you know, I

David Ask: 00:13:48

mean, it's, it's a, it's a, yeah.

David Ask: 00:13:51

And I, so I think that, you know, largely, you know, what something,

David Ask: 00:13:56

you know, is worth is what something is, you know, somebody is willing

David Ask: 00:13:59

to pay for it, you know, ultimately is, is kind of what we're told.

David Ask: 00:14:03

Well, as far as, you know, humanity goes, right.

David Ask: 00:14:06

That couldn't be further from the truth, you know, the, the, the worth of

David Ask: 00:14:10

the human soul, the worth of the, you know, the individual, you And, um, I,

David Ask: 00:14:16

what I think is wonderful is, is that, you know, we are, okay, I'll jump into

David Ask: 00:14:21

the deep end of the pool again here.

David Ask: 00:14:22

So the word, the word, the word authenticity, you know, where

David Ask: 00:14:26

do, where do we get that word?

David Ask: 00:14:27

It comes from the word author, right?

David Ask: 00:14:30

We didn't make us, I didn't choose my eye color or my taste buds.

David Ask: 00:14:35

I didn't choose the color of my skin.

David Ask: 00:14:36

I didn't choose my personality.

David Ask: 00:14:39

You know what I mean?

David Ask: 00:14:40

We, we think in the land of the free, the home of the brave.

David Ask: 00:14:43

You know, that we are the, you know, I did it on my own.

David Ask: 00:14:46

I chose everything and I bootstrapped this thing and I made

David Ask: 00:14:49

it and all this kind of stuff.

David Ask: 00:14:50

It's, it's absolutely complete nonsense.

David Ask: 00:14:53

And how do we know that's true?

David Ask: 00:14:55

Well, if you look at children from zero to, you know, I

David Ask: 00:14:59

don't know, seven, eight, nine.

David Ask: 00:15:01

They're not thinking about being authentic, right?

David Ask: 00:15:04

They're not thinking about generating an identity.

David Ask: 00:15:07

They're saying, Hey dad, smell this, you know, Hey dad, look at me.

David Ask: 00:15:11

Hey dad, watch me.

David Ask: 00:15:13

You know, they're, they're looking for the father's delight.

David Ask: 00:15:15

They're looking for, you know, the interactions and joy with.

David Ask: 00:15:21

People around them, their taste buds, they're just kind of rolling with if

David Ask: 00:15:24

they don't like something and I don't care if that's a baby, you know, at

David Ask: 00:15:27

three months old, if they don't like something, they're not eating it.

David Ask: 00:15:30

And that little baby is not thinking about the fact that I don't like carrots, right?

David Ask: 00:15:34

Or, or squash or whatever it is, right?

David Ask: 00:15:36

They're just doing their deal.

David Ask: 00:15:38

So in those, those early years, we are being authentic, but then when life

David Ask: 00:15:43

happens to us, right, you get hurt, you get, you know, bullied or damaged or, you

David Ask: 00:15:49

know, there's something, somebody says something, you get punched in the face,

David Ask: 00:15:53

you know, literally or metaphorically, well, then you start to question

David Ask: 00:15:56

everything, you know, am I good enough?

David Ask: 00:16:00

And, and then you start.

David Ask: 00:16:02

Internalizing that, that narrative is, well, of course I'm not because, you

David Ask: 00:16:07

know, X, Y, and Z told me that I wasn't or that, you know, I was, you know, the

David Ask: 00:16:12

last one to be chosen on the playground or they, I wasn't invited to that, that

David Ask: 00:16:15

birthday party or whatever that is, or, or, and of course there's horror stories

David Ask: 00:16:19

of parents abusing their children and it's, so what, what's, what's really

David Ask: 00:16:25

interesting is, is, Then we start this dance of looking outside of ourselves,

David Ask: 00:16:31

because we were never raised, right?

David Ask: 00:16:33

This idea of caused to rise.

David Ask: 00:16:37

We were never caused to rise.

David Ask: 00:16:40

What does that mean?

David Ask: 00:16:41

That means that the good king, right, and everybody needs to decide for

David Ask: 00:16:46

themselves who that is, but I believe, and I can't, you know, when I look at

David Ask: 00:16:50

my kids, I'm like, what sort of a being?

David Ask: 00:16:54

Would make a, a son and a daughter so magically wonderful.

David Ask: 00:16:59

You know, we just got back from Alaska last week and I went to Glacier

David Ask: 00:17:02

National Park a couple of years ago.

David Ask: 00:17:04

It's like, what sort of a, what sort of a creator would create this?

David Ask: 00:17:09

And I like, you know, CS Lewis says, ride the sunbeam to the sun.

David Ask: 00:17:13

So what I think is really wonderful is, you know, when I start looking at, you

David Ask: 00:17:18

know, my kids and so on, I, it helps me to understand myself as a dad, right?

David Ask: 00:17:22

It's a gift to be a father.

David Ask: 00:17:25

What we needed and what I try to do with my kids, right, is to cause them to rise.

David Ask: 00:17:30

Well, what does that mean?

David Ask: 00:17:31

That means what did the author put in you that's different from

David Ask: 00:17:36

everybody around you, right?

David Ask: 00:17:37

You've got a fingerprint that's different, a retina scan that's different.

David Ask: 00:17:41

You've got a A soul print, as it were, that's different.

David Ask: 00:17:45

So, so what are the things that make Kate and Parker and me and you authentic?

David Ask: 00:17:51

Well, you start identifying, right?

David Ask: 00:17:53

The word identity.

David Ask: 00:17:55

You start identifying authorship.

David Ask: 00:17:58

Right.

David Ask: 00:17:59

Well, the parts of authenticity are what?

David Ask: 00:18:01

Well, again, you talked to psychologists, and they, they would say, you know,

David Ask: 00:18:07

it's, it's your values, like, what do you value the hierarchy of values?

David Ask: 00:18:11

Right.

David Ask: 00:18:11

Because if you ask me, what are my top five values out of the, 80

David Ask: 00:18:14

in the possible English language.

David Ask: 00:18:16

They're going to be different than yours.

David Ask: 00:18:17

If you put those in a hierarchy, you know, what are, what are your virtues?

David Ask: 00:18:21

A virtue and a value are different.

David Ask: 00:18:23

Virtue is outward focused, right?

David Ask: 00:18:25

What type of an impact do you want to have?

David Ask: 00:18:27

What are your convictions?

David Ask: 00:18:29

Well, guess what, what are the conviction?

David Ask: 00:18:31

That's what's right and wrong.

David Ask: 00:18:33

You know, so you've got values, virtues, convictions, strengths, and then Mike,

David Ask: 00:18:39

I like to say this, you know, what is it that gives you goose bumps or what is it

David Ask: 00:18:42

that gives your goose bumps, goose bumps, you know, what is it that lights you up?

David Ask: 00:18:47

What is it that puts that lump in your throat?

David Ask: 00:18:48

And so my, my point is, this is, we were meant right to have the good

David Ask: 00:18:55

father, the good mother identify, help identify and galvanize by saying to

David Ask: 00:19:01

our, to our Children or my parents to me, right, you know, Mike, I see

David Ask: 00:19:07

this in you and man, it's good, right.

David Ask: 00:19:11

To validate, to galvanize that stuff so that when you get punched in the face,

David Ask: 00:19:16

right, when you get into grade school or whatever else, heck at church youth

David Ask: 00:19:21

group, for that matter, and somebody is being mean, you know, you, you have a,

David Ask: 00:19:25

a, a constitution, you have a bedrock in order to navigate those things.

David Ask: 00:19:29

You, you then can look very clearly and say.

David Ask: 00:19:33

What they did or said was bad and it was not true because I know what is,

David Ask: 00:19:39

um, so largely, you know, I'll kind of wind back to your question here is, you

David Ask: 00:19:45

know, the shift for me started kind of in my, my, uh, my late thirties really.

David Ask: 00:19:52

And then, um, really took on a new form about six years

David Ask: 00:19:57

ago when I met a guy named Dr.

David Ask: 00:19:58

Andy Garrett and he's in my, my, um, Mastermind group, but he's a clinical

David Ask: 00:20:03

psychologist and a dear friend, but he's the one who really, you know, just helped

David Ask: 00:20:08

me put a language to this stuff, you know, and, and, um, it's, yeah, it's amazing how

David Ask: 00:20:14

quick you can understand, identify, right?

David Ask: 00:20:16

Identity, who you are.

David Ask: 00:20:19

And by the way, I love to say this, who you are is.

David Ask: 00:20:23

Enough.

David Ask: 00:20:24

In fact, it's more than enough.

David Ask: 00:20:26

In fact, it's fantastic.

David Ask: 00:20:29

You don't have to start white knuckling life and generating and

David Ask: 00:20:34

scrambling to become someone else.

David Ask: 00:20:37

Who you were when you were born is not only enough, it's fantastic.

David Ask: 00:20:43

And when you just start identifying those things that You know, that make

David Ask: 00:20:46

you, you and operating in that space, guess what you start to feel authentic.

David Ask: 00:20:50

You start to feel natural.

David Ask: 00:20:52

And, um, the opposite to that, of course, is they have this whole white

David Ask: 00:20:56

knuckle, anxiety, depression experience

Mike Forrester: 00:21:01

that I can,

David Ask: 00:21:01

that was a lot, by the way,

Mike Forrester: 00:21:03

no, I'm just like sitting here going, yep, I can totally appreciate

Mike Forrester: 00:21:05

where you're coming, coming from with the anxiety and depression aspect of that.

Mike Forrester: 00:21:09

Cause yeah, road, road, that train for a long time, I think.

Mike Forrester: 00:21:14

Almost like, um, knowing who you are and, and like you talked about value

Mike Forrester: 00:21:19

virtue is almost like the image I get is, is like a permanent tattoo, right?

Mike Forrester: 00:21:27

No matter what I'm going through, I get skinned up, um,

Mike Forrester: 00:21:30

bruised, my tattoo is there.

Mike Forrester: 00:21:32

Whereas when I was.

Mike Forrester: 00:21:35

Looking for others to validate me and find that temporary fix, like

Mike Forrester: 00:21:40

we talked about earlier, David.

Mike Forrester: 00:21:41

Yeah.

Mike Forrester: 00:21:42

I think it's almost like one of those temporary tattoos.

Mike Forrester: 00:21:44

Right.

Mike Forrester: 00:21:44

And those can get worn off.

Mike Forrester: 00:21:45

And then I'm wondering, like, wait a minute, what, what part

Mike Forrester: 00:21:48

of the picture am I missing?

David Ask: 00:21:50

Yeah.

Mike Forrester: 00:21:50

And having that foundation.

Mike Forrester: 00:21:53

Um,

David Ask: 00:21:54

well, and here's the neat thing is, is when we were made, yeah.

David Ask: 00:21:59

With love.

David Ask: 00:22:00

We were made in love.

David Ask: 00:22:01

We were made to love.

David Ask: 00:22:03

We were made to be loved.

David Ask: 00:22:05

So what does that mean really?

David Ask: 00:22:06

And I'll be honest.

David Ask: 00:22:07

I think it's kind of practical, but if someone doesn't know who

David Ask: 00:22:13

they are, you know, and they're putting on this big mask, right?

David Ask: 00:22:18

And you can tell like they walk into the room and there's all this weird nervous

David Ask: 00:22:22

energy and We're much bling and they're just like hiding the real person, right?

David Ask: 00:22:27

They're trying really hard.

David Ask: 00:22:29

It's really hard to love somebody like that.

David Ask: 00:22:32

Why?

David Ask: 00:22:33

Who are you loving?

David Ask: 00:22:35

You know what I mean?

David Ask: 00:22:35

I can tell them, Hey dude, nice shirt, you know, or I like your shoes or some

David Ask: 00:22:39

external, you know, display that they want me to, to behold or something like that.

David Ask: 00:22:45

But what would it look like, you know, if.

David Ask: 00:22:48

Someone walks into the room who is, you know, what Dr.

David Ask: 00:22:52

Andy calls an authentic exemplar, right?

David Ask: 00:22:55

There are certain people that when they walk into the room, the room gets wiser,

David Ask: 00:22:58

safer, stronger, you know, more calm.

David Ask: 00:23:02

It's like their very presence alone is just like you feel like you can exhale.

David Ask: 00:23:06

Well, how do you love somebody like that?

David Ask: 00:23:09

Well, you see their character, their values on display.

David Ask: 00:23:13

So when they say something that's meaningful or, you know, whatever that

David Ask: 00:23:17

is, even our teenagers, by the way, like the other day, Parker came, I was

David Ask: 00:23:20

sitting out on the deck and he came outside and, you know, I was kind of

David Ask: 00:23:24

worried about some stuff and kind of, you know, carrying around the weight of the

David Ask: 00:23:26

day and some things I'm working on and, and, um, he, Kind of asked me questions

David Ask: 00:23:32

and poured into me as a 19 year old.

David Ask: 00:23:34

And the next day, how did I love him?

David Ask: 00:23:36

Well, I said, Parker, I want to say it, by the way, last night, you know, it's

David Ask: 00:23:41

kind of interesting, you know, we're, we're becoming less father and son.

David Ask: 00:23:45

Not that that will ever stop, but becoming more friends as men.

David Ask: 00:23:49

And I said, it was so wonderful to have you ask me great

David Ask: 00:23:52

questions and listen so intently.

David Ask: 00:23:56

And, and I want you to know that I see that and it's good.

David Ask: 00:24:00

Yeah.

David Ask: 00:24:01

Well, what, what did I really do right there?

David Ask: 00:24:02

I loved him the real him.

David Ask: 00:24:06

It's not like, Hey dude, nice shoes.

David Ask: 00:24:08

Right?

David Ask: 00:24:08

It's it's, I saw him step out to really love his dad, you know, in a very bold

David Ask: 00:24:15

way, in a very wise way, like he's 19, but he's, he's, he's testing those waters.

David Ask: 00:24:19

Do I have what it takes to even speak into dad's life, you know,

David Ask: 00:24:22

and, and stand on my own two feet.

David Ask: 00:24:24

And I love the fact that he had the courage to.

David Ask: 00:24:26

You know, just to go there with me.

David Ask: 00:24:28

And so to love him in that moment is to validate courage is to validate character.

David Ask: 00:24:33

It's to validate and shine a spotlight on values.

David Ask: 00:24:36

We can do that with everybody.

David Ask: 00:24:39

And that's, I think that's what really loving somebody looks like.

David Ask: 00:24:43

It's you're, you're seeing the truest essence of who they are

David Ask: 00:24:46

and you're saying something

Mike Forrester: 00:24:48

so true.

Mike Forrester: 00:24:50

Let me jump into something else that we had talked about is the difference of

Mike Forrester: 00:24:57

knowing who you are instead of, you know, like why you're doing something,

Mike Forrester: 00:25:02

what's the importance of that?

Mike Forrester: 00:25:04

What is their disorder in figuring out why first without knowing the who?

Mike Forrester: 00:25:11

I mean, is that kind of, uh, have, have, uh, I could catch 22 if I go that route.

David Ask: 00:25:17

Yeah.

David Ask: 00:25:18

You know, it's interesting.

David Ask: 00:25:19

I think so.

David Ask: 00:25:19

I, in the past.

David Ask: 00:25:21

You know, I think that I overlooked the whole who concept, like, you

David Ask: 00:25:26

know, I kind of made these blanket statements around everything from what

David Ask: 00:25:30

I believed, you know, as a Christian, what I believed as a, you know,

David Ask: 00:25:33

masculinity and kind of men in general.

David Ask: 00:25:35

I just said, well, that's who you are.

David Ask: 00:25:37

Now you got to find your why.

David Ask: 00:25:38

Well, I think that we, we blow past the who, and, you know, this

David Ask: 00:25:43

really granular who way too quickly.

David Ask: 00:25:46

So for instance, I'll paint a picture this way.

David Ask: 00:25:48

So what if you grew up in the typical American family where, you know, your

David Ask: 00:25:54

dad was a good dude, whatever, he worked hard and, um, you know, you

David Ask: 00:25:59

knew he cared for you and, you know, this and that, but, You know, it was,

David Ask: 00:26:03

it was, there was a lot of vagary around, you know, some things, right?

David Ask: 00:26:07

You didn't necessarily go real deep and talk about this, this type of

David Ask: 00:26:10

stuff, whether it was purpose or career calling or, you know, things like that.

David Ask: 00:26:15

And then you start listening to, you know, TV and media and

David Ask: 00:26:20

Joe Rogan and, you know, all the podcasts and all this kind of stuff.

David Ask: 00:26:23

What happens is, is, is largely, you know, I'll just speak for men here is, You know,

David Ask: 00:26:28

you start to compare yourself to other people and, you know, there's the, there's

David Ask: 00:26:33

a weight that you start carrying around.

David Ask: 00:26:35

Like, am I, you know, as good as them?

David Ask: 00:26:37

Or am I as wise as them?

David Ask: 00:26:39

Do people really want to hear what I have to say?

David Ask: 00:26:40

You just, you know, you start questioning all this nonsense.

David Ask: 00:26:45

Then you start listening to people that say, well, you know, in order to be

David Ask: 00:26:48

successful in life, you have to have a why your why has to outweigh, you know,

David Ask: 00:26:55

the obstacles and stuff in front of you.

David Ask: 00:26:58

Honestly, there's some truth there.

David Ask: 00:27:00

But here's the funny thing.

David Ask: 00:27:02

If you don't understand.

David Ask: 00:27:04

You know who you are again?

David Ask: 00:27:06

What are your particular hierarchy of values?

David Ask: 00:27:09

Right?

David Ask: 00:27:10

What are, what, what is it that what's the color of your own soul?

David Ask: 00:27:14

What is it that gives you goosebumps?

David Ask: 00:27:15

What is it that makes you cry?

David Ask: 00:27:16

What are you willing to, you know, die for?

David Ask: 00:27:19

What are you willing to live for?

David Ask: 00:27:20

What do you, what, what breaks your heart?

David Ask: 00:27:22

You know, all that stuff.

David Ask: 00:27:23

These are, these are, these are questions that if they're asked in the right

David Ask: 00:27:26

way, you can identify rather quickly.

David Ask: 00:27:28

Well, guess what?

David Ask: 00:27:29

Your why might be somebody else's why it might be a cause, right?

David Ask: 00:27:34

It might be some political, you know, cause that, you know, you get really

David Ask: 00:27:40

fired up about because at least it feels good to be angry and not insecure.

David Ask: 00:27:43

And you just beat some drum because it's, I'm going to listen to CNN or Fox

David Ask: 00:27:48

news or whatever, and get really fired up about something because I don't know

David Ask: 00:27:51

who I am and I feel really insecure.

David Ask: 00:27:53

So I'm going to go get really angry about something over here because that's

David Ask: 00:27:56

more palatable than the uncertainty of.

David Ask: 00:27:59

You know, why the heck do I even get up in the morning?

David Ask: 00:28:02

So your your why needs to be your why it might be somebody else's right?

David Ask: 00:28:08

It might be your dad's it might be your uncle's it might be your pastor's

David Ask: 00:28:12

it might be Joe rogan's it might be somebody else's You know paradigm

David Ask: 00:28:16

that they think they're painting this picture in life of what is valuable And

David Ask: 00:28:21

then you come to find out years later.

David Ask: 00:28:23

You're like I don't find that valuable at all and I, no wonder every time I

David Ask: 00:28:28

go to this particular thing or start talking about this kind of stuff,

David Ask: 00:28:31

I start feeling anxious or depleted or, you know, whatever that is.

David Ask: 00:28:35

So understanding, you know, who you are then on a granular level will

David Ask: 00:28:41

naturally then, you know, help you understand, you know, your why.

David Ask: 00:28:47

Let me, let me drive this point home even a bit further.

David Ask: 00:28:51

Um, so how do you know?

David Ask: 00:28:57

Dr.

David Ask: 00:28:57

Andy says, follow the clues.

David Ask: 00:28:58

How do you know if you have, uh, you know, understood and, you know, who

David Ask: 00:29:03

you are on a, on a really basic level?

David Ask: 00:29:06

Well, I'm going to actually back into it this way.

David Ask: 00:29:09

When you, when you, uh, don't understand it, you're going to feel, you know,

David Ask: 00:29:15

some shame, increased anxiety, probably a lack of purpose and meaning, right?

David Ask: 00:29:21

You're going to feel stuck, frustrated, you know, irritable, angry.

David Ask: 00:29:25

You're going to, you're going to probably feel apathetic toward things.

David Ask: 00:29:28

You know, you're going to avoid certain people in certain situations,

David Ask: 00:29:33

you know, that make you feel.

David Ask: 00:29:34

Um, you know, like imposter syndrome or things like that, um, you're

David Ask: 00:29:40

going to have increased isolation and even boredom for that matter.

David Ask: 00:29:43

When you don't know who you are, you know, the clues are really powerful.

David Ask: 00:29:47

Well, how do you know you found it?

David Ask: 00:29:49

Well, you're going to start feeling genuine.

David Ask: 00:29:52

Right?

David Ask: 00:29:53

Natural, courageous, compassionate, resilient, free, you know, your,

David Ask: 00:29:58

your clarity of your purpose, you know, what you're going to say yes

David Ask: 00:30:01

and no to, uh, in advance, um, of a, an obstacle or an opportunity

David Ask: 00:30:08

is going to be front and center.

David Ask: 00:30:09

You're going to be, you know, cause you've predetermined those things.

David Ask: 00:30:12

You're your best self is going to start to emerge.

David Ask: 00:30:15

You're going to have confidence, a high sense of self worth and so on.

David Ask: 00:30:19

And.

David Ask: 00:30:21

So again, those clues are going to say, you know, help you say, do I

David Ask: 00:30:26

need to tap the brakes right now and start answering some really great

David Ask: 00:30:29

questions and maybe surround myself with some people who could help me?

David Ask: 00:30:33

And then your why will become your why.

David Ask: 00:30:37

Otherwise, okay, this is a, this is a twist on it.

David Ask: 00:30:43

Your why, by the way, if you, if you had to write down a why, if

David Ask: 00:30:45

somebody put a gun to your head and you've got to write down a why this

David Ask: 00:30:47

afternoon, you might actually write down the right thing, but guess what?

David Ask: 00:30:53

It's not going to mean as much because you've not assigned

David Ask: 00:30:56

meaning to it based on who you are.

David Ask: 00:31:00

So, so this idea of, uh, here's the, here's the real progression.

David Ask: 00:31:05

It's who.

David Ask: 00:31:06

You are.

David Ask: 00:31:08

Well, then, you know, what, what does that look like?

David Ask: 00:31:10

What do you want to do with it?

David Ask: 00:31:12

Then why, right?

David Ask: 00:31:13

What motivates you to, to accomplish said goal?

David Ask: 00:31:17

You know, it's, it's, and then the beautiful thing is, is when

David Ask: 00:31:20

you, again, you start to see your dent in the universe, you start

David Ask: 00:31:23

operating out of that natural space.

David Ask: 00:31:26

You stop comparing yourself to everybody around you.

David Ask: 00:31:28

In fact, you're not just not comparing yourself.

David Ask: 00:31:31

You're getting underneath other people to lift them up into

David Ask: 00:31:33

their natural wiring, right?

David Ask: 00:31:36

Especially your own family for that matter.

David Ask: 00:31:38

And mother, anybody you meet, I love encouraging people and

David Ask: 00:31:42

it's self reinforcing, right?

David Ask: 00:31:45

God made you in a phenomenal way, right?

David Ask: 00:31:49

He authored something in you that is precious and good and kind and

David Ask: 00:31:54

courageous and noble and creative.

David Ask: 00:31:56

And, and, That would have impact and when you start operating, you know, inside

David Ask: 00:32:01

of that guy, well, then you feel natural and normal and it's self reinforcing.

David Ask: 00:32:06

It just, you want to be more of that person.

David Ask: 00:32:08

And, um, so, yeah,

Mike Forrester: 00:32:12

and going back to like the experiences I went through,

Mike Forrester: 00:32:17

David, I was very much a chameleon.

Mike Forrester: 00:32:20

So, whomever was the strongest personality, that was who

Mike Forrester: 00:32:25

I would gravitate towards.

Mike Forrester: 00:32:27

I would adopt or, you know, mirror what is important to them.

Mike Forrester: 00:32:33

And in that process, I lost completely any identity that was true to me.

David Ask: 00:32:38

Yeah.

Mike Forrester: 00:32:41

And, and the, the thing when I look back was, it was almost

Mike Forrester: 00:32:46

like the, the quote there, not quote, but the image, the saying of, you

Mike Forrester: 00:32:52

know, make sure you're leaning your ladder against the right building.

Mike Forrester: 00:32:56

David, it wasn't that it was against the right building.

Mike Forrester: 00:33:00

I moved that thing on a constant basis.

Mike Forrester: 00:33:03

The wind would blow what I was.

Mike Forrester: 00:33:07

You know, doing and why I was doing it changed to fit like that, that

Mike Forrester: 00:33:13

missing block of worth, you know, like you talked about of, you know,

Mike Forrester: 00:33:17

not being a nobody or, you know, not, you know, having a value or worth.

Mike Forrester: 00:33:23

It changed so that I could get that attaboy that fix until

Mike Forrester: 00:33:28

the next one that I could get.

Mike Forrester: 00:33:29

And it wasn't until, you know, like we've talked about that internal work,

Mike Forrester: 00:33:34

figuring out who I am, that then there was consistency that I could actually

Mike Forrester: 00:33:40

continue to, to pursue something instead of, um, Just running willy nilly.

David Ask: 00:33:46

Yeah.

David Ask: 00:33:47

Um,

Mike Forrester: 00:33:47

so

David Ask: 00:33:48

here's, here's what I think is fascinating about that.

David Ask: 00:33:50

What you just said, you know, leaning your ladder or whatever, or, or being

David Ask: 00:33:54

a chameleon, truth of the matter is, is that's what kind of should happen, you

David Ask: 00:33:59

know, when you're with your dad, right?

David Ask: 00:34:02

It's like when you're being raised, you know, it's, it's like the, this idea that,

David Ask: 00:34:06

you know, your most, most sons I would hope would say, man, my dad is my hero.

David Ask: 00:34:12

Right.

David Ask: 00:34:12

He knows me the best and he loves me the most.

David Ask: 00:34:16

He knows every weakness, all of my inconsistencies, and he loves me the most.

David Ask: 00:34:22

And I mean, that's, that, that's the ideal story there.

David Ask: 00:34:25

Right.

David Ask: 00:34:25

Right.

David Ask: 00:34:26

Well, so, so here's, what's fascinating though, that, you know, psychologists, you

David Ask: 00:34:30

know, use that term self actualization, you know, and we, we experienced that with

David Ask: 00:34:35

teenagers when they're probably what, 13, 14, and up until they're 25 or something.

David Ask: 00:34:40

And, but it's what happens there.

David Ask: 00:34:43

It's, they're literally ripping away from us, you know, their

David Ask: 00:34:47

parents to become their own person.

David Ask: 00:34:50

And, and they're, they're having to decide for themselves.

David Ask: 00:34:53

What is it that I find valuable?

David Ask: 00:34:55

What are the, what are the big rocks that I'm choosing to stand

David Ask: 00:34:59

on to base my existence on?

David Ask: 00:35:02

Well, For a lot of people that is not it's there's no rock.

David Ask: 00:35:06

In fact, there's barely sand It's just a complete convoluted mix of bullcrap

David Ask: 00:35:12

and you know with no love, right?

David Ask: 00:35:15

It's you act this way.

David Ask: 00:35:16

I will show you some sense of kindness and and The, the picture, the picture of love

David Ask: 00:35:24

for me, because we are so human and so clumsy, the way we do everything is, I go

David Ask: 00:35:30

back to, you know, Les Miserables, right?

David Ask: 00:35:32

When, you know, when he steals all the silver and he, you know, the police, he

David Ask: 00:35:37

beats up the priest, steals his silver, you know, the, the cop, cops bring him

David Ask: 00:35:42

back and say, we found a guy that stole your silver, and what does the priest say?

David Ask: 00:35:49

He says, no, I gave it to him, right?

David Ask: 00:35:53

In fact, he forgot some of it.

David Ask: 00:35:57

And, and, you know, so, so for me, what is our deepest, what is our deepest need?

David Ask: 00:36:05

Our deepest need is to be, this is Tim Keller.

David Ask: 00:36:07

He says to be fully known and fully loved.

David Ask: 00:36:12

What is our deepest fear?

David Ask: 00:36:15

It's to be fully known and rejected.

David Ask: 00:36:19

So here's, here's what I think is, is marvelous.

David Ask: 00:36:21

This idea of authenticity, you know, it's not just, I'm going to

David Ask: 00:36:26

love the good things about you.

David Ask: 00:36:28

It's, it's, I'm going to love everything about you.

David Ask: 00:36:32

And, and Lisa and I have tried so, you know, hard.

David Ask: 00:36:38

To, to not only validate the, the character strengths

David Ask: 00:36:41

in our children, right?

David Ask: 00:36:43

The, give them the attaboys and tell them, Hey man, I love

David Ask: 00:36:45

the way you showed up there.

David Ask: 00:36:46

And I love that you're doing hard things.

David Ask: 00:36:47

And, you know, we'll talk about grit and resilience here in a second, but it's,

David Ask: 00:36:52

but we also, when, when they drop the ball, you know, and act like a couple of.

David Ask: 00:36:58

Turkeys, you know, it's, we, we address that, right.

David Ask: 00:37:01

Say, Hey, that was, that was a bit less than, wasn't it?

David Ask: 00:37:05

But we give them a hug and I just say, I love you.

David Ask: 00:37:08

And, and it's, that's the kind of, uh, the, the bedrock that's

David Ask: 00:37:14

underneath authenticity, right?

David Ask: 00:37:18

Love.

David Ask: 00:37:19

I mean, we, we think that, you know, they're like, we use words

David Ask: 00:37:22

like authenticity and identity.

David Ask: 00:37:24

That's the bedrock of life.

David Ask: 00:37:25

Nope.

David Ask: 00:37:26

There's something eternal and truer, right?

David Ask: 00:37:30

It's not just true.

David Ask: 00:37:31

It's the truest thing that undergirds our ability to look in the mirror and

David Ask: 00:37:36

to identify not only the strengths, but my blind spots and weaknesses and to,

David Ask: 00:37:41

you know, operate even in those spaces.

David Ask: 00:37:43

Cause I've got a bunch of them still, right?

David Ask: 00:37:44

I'm just turned 50 last month and I'm, I've got all kinds of gaps.

David Ask: 00:37:48

And, um, But I, I really, I really believe that, you know, like the book

David Ask: 00:37:53

that I'm writing, The Guardians of Grit, it's, you know, whether you're a parent,

David Ask: 00:37:56

whether you're a coach, mentor, pastor, you know, whatever that looks like, you

David Ask: 00:38:00

know, to, to, uh, to guard grit, right?

David Ask: 00:38:07

What is grit?

David Ask: 00:38:07

Well, it's just simply doing something difficult over a long

David Ask: 00:38:10

period of time, because what's on the other side of the hill, as it

David Ask: 00:38:13

were, is worth fighting for, right?

David Ask: 00:38:14

You're, you're doing hard things to build something or accomplish something.

David Ask: 00:38:19

But, you know, what, what is ultimately grit?

David Ask: 00:38:22

You know, as a guardian, it's psychological safety.

David Ask: 00:38:27

It's telling my kids, I love you with an everlasting love.

David Ask: 00:38:33

You can't lose.

David Ask: 00:38:35

You can never lose my smile for you.

David Ask: 00:38:39

If, if, if you go down, I go down.

David Ask: 00:38:43

You know, whatever you're into, I'm into.

David Ask: 00:38:45

Let's do this.

David Ask: 00:38:46

It's, it's that, it's that, uh, you know, that never ending clear tap

David Ask: 00:38:52

of water that is just flooding their souls and psyches with, you know, like

David Ask: 00:38:58

I've got you and, um, I think it's the best gift you can give anybody.