Elevating Your Life Through the Power of True Accountability with Robert J Hunt

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Well, hello and welcome back, my friend, and this week we're gonna jump into

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something where it's like, at one point in my life, and I know this is the case

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for other men, the a word that we're gonna talk with, uh, Robert J. Hunt here

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was considered almost like a swear word.

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It was just something you didn't wanna be associated with.

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You wanna shirk it off.

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You don't wanna step into it because of preconceived ideas.

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The truth is accountability.

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Yes, that a word is the one thing that can really bring about transformation in

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our life and the people around us because it's like, Hey, you're stepping up.

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You're holding yourself accountable.

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To make the changes and your word becomes good, people can now trust you and you

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most importantly can trust yourself.

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So we're gonna get into a lot here with Robert.

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Really excited.

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Robert's the author of the book, nobody Cares Until You Do.

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And man, that is so foundational, so core, because if we don't care who is

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going to, nobody's gonna care about your life and your actions and the

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decisions you're making as much as you do.

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So Robert, how are you doing today, my friend?

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I am awesome.

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Thank you so much for having me on the show today.

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Absolutely.

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Super grateful for you.

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Wanting to jump in, share the message and set kind of like our expectation

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and understanding of what accountability is, because it's gotten such a bad rap.

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It does.

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Um, you know, it, it's, it's one of those of like, keep it away with a 10 foot pole.

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You know?

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It, it just, there's a lot of.

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Preconceived ideas about what it is, but when it's actually

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used in a healthy manner.

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And, uh, dude, it just, it is such a game changer.

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There's the power in it that we just don't realize.

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So.

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It tends to be pretty punitive.

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And when people talk about it, I'm gonna hold you accountable like it's a threat.

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Um, but in reality, accountability is the freedom to live the life you really want.

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I watch this by running.

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I run CEO groups here in the DFW area, done it for 12 years, and I've watched

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those people who are truly accountable, they rock, they're doing it, they're

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living the life they want, they're running the company the way they wanna run it,

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and they're having amazing success.

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They're still going through hard times, but when things go wrong or

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they have problems, they own it.

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That's the definition of accountability is you own it.

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But so many times we're quick to play the victim role and we don't even,

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we don't even recognize it anymore.

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Nobody says I'd like to be a victim, but they be that way,

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that by the way, they do stuff.

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When something comes up that you're accountable for, you

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blame, you make excuses.

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You say you can't do anything about it, and you wait and hope.

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And we did all those things in our lives and in my business and we recognized

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that that was ruin in our lives.

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And it wasn't until we got to a place where we realized that, wait.

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Nobody cares until we care enough to do something about it, that

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we gain the power to change it.

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And that's what accountability is all about.

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It's the power and freedom that you have when you're truly accountable.

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Yeah, shirking like those responsibilities and that accountability and, and

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just what you say, I mean, that is like a slip slippery slope.

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And I don't think we really look at the true impact or how it.

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Impacts us personally or the things we're doing, um, until like you talked

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about, you know, until you care and you stop and you, you, you take action.

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That's right.

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And, um, dude, it's so powerful.

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Well, let's, let's start off, Robert.

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What does today look like for you on the professional side of life?

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My business is phenomenal.

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Uh, we are, have been enjoying actually creating a business.

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For the longest time it was a job.

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I barely paid myself.

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I was the hardest working, underpaid employee in the company.

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And, uh, I, I finally got to a place where I took ownership for

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what it would take to run a real business, to create a real company.

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You know, most of the small businesses in America have less than 10 employees.

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I. 80% of all the companies in America have less than 10 employees.

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And, and the reality is that we we're not really held to a,

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a, a standard of excellence.

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When we run our own stuff, we can get away with murder.

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And so I did for the longest time, I just made a buck.

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Uh, but it was never scalable.

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It was never consistent.

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It was always frustrating.

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But I, I've got to this place of living intentionally where I'm looking at my

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life and my business and say, well, what should a business look like?

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We know what a business should look like.

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If we're not gonna be accountable, we don't do those things and then

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we blame and make excuses and complain about it and say how bad

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business, how bad the economy is.

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All these excuses we love to throw out there, but it's really you

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not running a healthy business.

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So I've learned what it takes to run a healthy business, and I'm

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being accountable to that, and I'm being intentional with my life.

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So my business is awesome.

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That's, that's amazing man.

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I think it's interesting, like we can deflect responsibility and, and the

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ownership and, and who's at fault.

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Uh, so well,

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yeah.

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You know, it's not until like you're talking about, hey, yes, there is

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the economy, there are other factors.

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Sure.

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But what can I do within this situation?

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What actions do I have?

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And I think that power is almost.

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Like intimidating in some way.

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Um, it calls us to a certain level that I think many of us wanna shirk

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from, uh, especially when we're.

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Know, having a victim mindset, so

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nobody wants to shirk from it on purpose.

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Like, oh, I, I don't want to be respon.

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You would never say to someone, I don't wanna be responsible for my life.

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You would never say that, but, but you act like that and it's become so commonplace.

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We kind of praise each other for, for the victimization that we jump into.

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When you're sitting around with your buddies having a beer at

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the end of the day and you're talking how bad your boss is.

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Yeah.

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Your boss is a jerk.

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Or, um, how, how horrible your spouse is.

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Oh, she's horrible.

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Yeah.

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We all love to chime in and encourage each other to complain and.

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Our lives, but nobody goes, wait, wait, wait.

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Didn't you marry her?

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Didn't you take that job?

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Isn't that the job you took?

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Why are you complaining about that?

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Are you a slave there or could you leave?

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You know, we, we don't jump on each other 'cause we don't want

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to be having people do it to us.

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We're like, yeah, it's horrible.

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And it's become this society of, of whiners and babies.

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And yet we're at the richest point in the history of our nation with the most

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technology, health, and freedom in life.

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And all we do is complain.

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And it's because we don't own it.

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You have the power to make the life you really want if you want to,

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but it requires that you own it.

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That's what the power of accountability is.

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Yeah, absolutely.

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Well, on the personal side of things, what does life look like for you today, Robert?

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In my world, they're really not separated because, uh, I take me to work every day

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and I've learned just to be one person.

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And so a long time ago I thought I had to be a different person in

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order to be successful at work.

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And it built this kind of.

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Tension inside of me, where at work I was one guy and then I'd come home and I'd

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somehow bring that guy home sometimes.

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And my wife didn't like that guy or, um, I would, I would stay in that mode

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and I was disconnected from my family.

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And so I just learned I gotta be one person everywhere.

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And so I'm me at work, I'm me at home.

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It's the same guy.

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And so that, that allows me to have my personal life is

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just wound up into my work.

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If my wife calls me at work, Hey, what are you doing?

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How's it going?

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I'm not like, what do you work?

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I, I get to connect with her and, and enjoy her.

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Uh, and then the same thing is if I'm at home and I get a client call from

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a client at the end of the night, I give them, I pick up the phone.

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Sure.

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What's the, what's going on?

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You okay?

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And so for me it is, I'm living out my purpose in life.

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I'm enjoying every day.

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Every day is intentional of what I want.

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I don't always get the results I want, but I'm being intentional as to

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what I contribute to the day, and I prioritize what matters to me most.

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So that always gets done.

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And then the rest of the day I get done when I get done

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and, and I'm enjoying myself.

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So personally, I'm having a great time with my wife.

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My kids are all adults and, and it's almost an empty nest now.

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He's holding on with a claw if you get there as he finish up his

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last couple semesters of college.

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Uh, and I'm, I'm loved by the Lord and I have a great life.

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So personally, things are going great.

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That's fantastic, man.

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Well, let's kind of step back a bit, Robert, like, you're

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living an amazing life.

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You're being intentional.

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It wasn't always that way though.

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No.

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You at some point decided, Hey, I'm done and you know,

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I need to worry about things.

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I need to take care of things.

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Yeah.

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What was it, you know, what was like the straw that broke the camel's back that

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Yeah.

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Caused that shift, you know, both action wise and perspective wise

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to get you to make that change.

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It was 2019 at the beginning of the year, which we did every year we have

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our, uh, getaway retreat, uh, where we'd spend a couple days talking about what

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was last year, what was this year gonna be like, what do you wanna work on?

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And, and in the last day of that time together, we whiteboarded

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everything we wanted and we realized we weren't living the life we wanted.

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We really realized it was us.

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It was our fault, it was our problem.

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It was 'cause of what we were doing.

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So we resolved in December or January of that year, 2019, if for some

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reason the Lord doesn't fix our problems and drop a big giant bag

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of money in the backyard, that we're gonna sell our house and start over.

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'cause we owed $90,000 in debt, not including the house or the

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cars, and it was choking me.

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My wife really had no idea how much stress I was living under.

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But every day I'd get up and I'd think if I work my butt off all

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day, I'll never get out of debt.

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And it was haunting me.

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And so we agreed, okay, this is the year.

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If we just can't do this, we're gonna, we're gonna sell the house.

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So by September it's, it's all in the book we wrote, but by September we realized

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this ist gonna work, we gotta do it.

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And uh, we sold the house.

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We, uh, finally.

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Uh, got it closed by March of 2020.

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Took a little while to get it through the market, but we did.

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We sold it, and we had enough money to pay off everything we owed.

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We moved into this house that we live in today that we're renting,

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and we started over and we paid off everything, and it was so amazing,

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the peace that I had, I'd forgotten what it feels like to be in peace.

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It's like that frog in the water, that you slowly turn the temperature

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up and it cooks itself to death.

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I bit by bit got used to living in a life of stress and I didn't.

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I just didn't recognize it anymore.

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It was just normal.

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But when it was gone, it was huge, the difference.

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And now at that point, we took ownership for it and decided we're

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gonna look at all the areas of our life.

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How about our marriage?

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That's been under stress for the last few years.

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How about our faith?

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How about my health?

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I was fatter than I'd ever been in my life.

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And all these things were just, I wasn't happy with the life I was living, and

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we decided we're gonna own it all.

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Did you.

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Did you have to change like your, your mindset and perspective to

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be able to say that stuff and look at it that way, Robert?

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Or was that something that was already in place?

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I think I got to the place where I gave up, um, trying to postpone

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and kick it down the road.

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We talk about waiting and hoping as a strategy for when your life isn't what you

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want it to be, which is a victim mindset.

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And in September of 2019, I got vertigo for 16 days.

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And I was like, well, geez, what if I might have vertigo the rest of my life?

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How am I gonna work?

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How am I gonna ever get outta debt?

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And it, it panicked me and I thought, I'm screwed the rest of my life.

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I'm gonna have vertigo.

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It wouldn't go away.

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We went to doctors.

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Everything we tried, couldn't get rid of it.

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And then finally it just went away.

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Lord took it away.

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But it was a wake up call.

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And we always say that when where you are is worse than where

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you have to go, you'll change.

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And where we were sucked.

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I did not like anything.

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I. I was disappointed in myself.

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One of the things that accountability requires is vulnerability.

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And so we had to invite some people into our story to get this done,

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and it wasn't until I was willing to tell a couple very specific people,

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here's my thing, I owe $90,000 in debt, and my wife and I had talked

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about it, but you know, it's just us.

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We can bury it between us.

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We invited in a financial counselor who came and looked at

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our money and said, oh my gosh.

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Or is this really how you wanna live?

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And we told a couple other buddies that I really trust and said, I've

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screwed this up and I gotta own it, but it's gonna be a long journey and

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I want you to know what I'm doing.

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Nobody can hold anyone accountable, but you can create a world where

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you hold yourself accountable and that requires vulnerability.

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So I invited a couple of my dear friends and said, here's

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the journey I'm gonna take.

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You don't have to do anything other than pray for me and ask me how it's going.

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You're not babysitting me, you're not doing it for me.

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I. You don't have to push me to do anything.

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I just want you to know I'm declaring it to you that this is where I'm

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going so there's no turning back.

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And that kind of vulnerability created this peer pressure that we

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need sometimes to get things done.

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And uh, that's why people, when they go to AA meetings, they stand up and

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say, I'm Robert, I'm an alcoholic.

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'cause you're declaring it to people so you own it.

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It's that kind of, uh, audible action.

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So inviting people in was what helped us to get going and, and we were ready

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by then, we were ready for a change.

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Yeah.

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I, I think it's one of those of the crisis.

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It has to hit almost like a crisis point for many of us.

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Yeah.

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To where it's like, okay, I can't do this anymore.

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To really put you in a position to take that painful, what we perceive as painful.

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Yeah.

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Action and, and change direction.

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Sadly, when you have to hit the bottom to get that motivation.

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That's why in the book we put an assessment and we ask people to take

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a satisfaction assessment and score their personal and professional

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life and be super, super honest.

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How is your marriage compared to what you thought it would be when you got married?

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How is your faith?

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How's your health?

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How's your finances?

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Really, really honest, and if.

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Then when you score it honestly, you go, okay, well why is it that way?

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And what do you wanna do about it?

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It's at that moment that you get to decide, do I want a better life?

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Do I want a better marriage?

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Do I want a better company?

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And if the answer is yes, what are you willing to do about it?

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Yeah.

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I think the, the big one is how do I want my relationship

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with myself, because it's like.

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Too often we bury the stuff and we're not even honest with ourselves, and it's

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like, okay, you know, or we become numb.

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Like, you know, you had talked about like the stress level of what was going on.

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We've just become like, like the frog in that pot where things have been

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turned up and, and we've let things go on so long, it's just normal.

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But it's not what we want.

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Yeah, exactly.

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Yeah.

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Um, and

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if you, if you had to tell somebody, if you had to let someone into

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your world and really know your junk, they'd go, dude, really?

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Is that how you live?

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And you'd be embarrassed.

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So what do you do?

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You don't tell anyone.

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You hide it.

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It's like a secret addiction.

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And it's not all bad stuff.

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It's just dumb stuff.

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Ev the whole world owes money.

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People have a house, they have a mortgage.

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It's normal, right?

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We have cars, car payments.

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It's a pretty normal thing in society.

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I. But if you can't afford it, it's not a good thing.

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So if you invite somebody in and you say, here's my world,

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they'd go, oh my gosh, really?

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You live like this?

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But we don't want that.

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So we hide it, and then you keep that cancer and it just stays with

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you and it just breaks you apart.

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That's why you gotta be vulnerable.

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You gotta invite people into your journey.

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So we've, we've used the word vulnerable and vulnerability a

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couple times here, Robert, and that.

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Often has like the misnomer, kind of the perception of I've gotta become weak.

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Um, you know, really wimpy, I've gotta just lay things

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out in a way that's not manly.

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Um, what is vulnerability and how is it, you know.

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What's the true identity of it, not the, the misconception we have.

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Yeah.

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One of the ways you can help be feel better with asking for help and, and being

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vulnerable is change the phrase from, I need help to, I want help, because when

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I say I want help, I'm, I'm acknowledging that I'm this smart to invite you

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in because you're so good at doing this and, and I know you could do it.

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I'm gonna let you help me.

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And it really takes the power to me.

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I am making this choice.

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I'm not weak and, and, and so desperate for help.

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I am smart.

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I'm so smart.

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I'm gonna invite you into my problem because you're gonna help me do it better.

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And it, I think that's one of those things that is subtle.

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I. But when I say I want your help, I feel like I'm in charge and I'm doing

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this and you are, I'm, you are helping me.

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When I say I need your help, I feel weak and insecure.

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So vulnerability really is just being honest about

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what's going on in your world.

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I. For the benefit of getting better, I, I run a peer group, a monthly meeting

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for business owners and CEOs who are very successful people who don't need

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me to tell them, Jack, about how to run their business, but they do need to be

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in a group with other people where they can be honest and say, I'm burned out.

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I'm, I'm mad at my employees.

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I'm not sure I'm gonna make payroll this quarter.

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And we could be real, and we can get help.

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We can do something about it.

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But if you just wanna look cool and smart, and successful and perfect, then you never

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tell someone, you never invite anyone in.

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Nothing ever gets better.

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You just still own the problem, but it doesn't get any better.

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Yeah, it's almost like living a lie.

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The facade and the masquerade.

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Um, nobody knows but you, which is all the more intense because like if I'm

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inviting you into my life or you're around me, Robert, I have to worry about

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you seeing that my house of cars is, uh, not stable the way it should be.

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Right,

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right.

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Um.

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So we've talked about accountability.

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Is that the same as responsibility or are those two just kind of.

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Tied together kind of cousins in, in the whole way.

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Yeah.

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We use 'em interchangeably a lot of times when we're talking about stuff.

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But in my way of, of sharing this idea that is responsibility is how you respond.

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And accountability is where you take account for what you have and you

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do something proactively with it.

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So if you're an owner of a business, I, I talk about that a lot 'cause

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that's the world I live in.

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When you have problems with your employees, you take the

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blame, you're being responsible.

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But what accountable would be.

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To recognize that people are gonna make mistakes, so we have to

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have training to know that people get burned out and get tired.

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So we have to set timelines so we don't overwork our employees.

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It set margins so they don't get an overload.

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Knowing that the world constantly changes, we have to train them.

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So you are become accountable to what you want at the end by the

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proactive nature of what you do.

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Pouring into that situation, it's easy to say, yeah, I'm the blame.

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But it's harder to say, well, here's, I'm gonna create a journey that avoids

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the blame, that avoids the problem that where I have to take the blame.

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And so in my own life, when I looked at, okay, I'm, I'm debt.

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I owe $90,000.

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What's the responsible thing to do?

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Make payments till I die?

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That's responsible.

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You're not ignoring your responsibilities.

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What would be accountable is say, this is untenable.

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You must change something, and you must create an opportunity.

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And so you proactively make the changes to the things you want.

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You own it.

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You don't wait for it to get so bad, you have no choice but to then respond to it.

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It's just a proactive nature versus a responding nature.

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Mm-hmm.

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So.

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Ties back, it sounds like, to the intentional decisions and

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being intentional with your actions as far as accountability.

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Is that accurate?

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Yeah, proactively versus just responding.

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We talk about this in the book where Salem, who's my co-author and my friend

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who helped me write the book, he tells about a story when he was working in

Speaker: 00:19:29

a nuclear, uh, nuclear power plant.

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They were having this problem with a motor and the purchasing

Speaker: 00:19:34

guy bought a replacement motor, but it was gonna be 21 days out.

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And he goes, well, we lose $70,000 a day.

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Are you really gonna wait 21 days to get this part?

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And he had bought the part.

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He thought he was being responsible.

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That's my job.

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I'm the purchasing guy.

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I did it, but doing something is not doing the thing.

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Me making minimum payments on my credit card was doing something.

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What I needed to do was to figure out a way to get the whole thing gone.

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'cause if Vertigo came back, I wouldn't be able to work and I would be broke.

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And so I've gotta do something proactively.

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That's the difference.

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So if a guy is at that point, Robert, where he is like, I'm done.

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I'm, I'm just exhausted, I need something different.

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What would you say are like.

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What's the first step, obviously, but what's a couple of steps beyond that

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that puts them on the path to being accountable and actually changing

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their situation to get them on that path towards, Hey, this is the life

Speaker: 00:20:34

I do wanna live that we talked about.

Speaker: 00:20:37

Well, the first thing is just practice the art of not being a victim.

Speaker: 00:20:40

And one of the ways you do that is just by being aware of the times that you do.

Speaker: 00:20:44

So go to our website, take the satisfaction assessment.

Speaker: 00:20:48

Even if you never bought the book, you can take the assessment for free.

Speaker: 00:20:51

You don't have to give us your information.

Speaker: 00:20:53

Write out all these things in your personal, professional life and

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declare how satisfied you are or not.

Speaker: 00:20:59

And then when you look at the reasons why you're not, if the

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reason is you make excuse, you blame.

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You say you can't or you're gonna wait and hope it gets better.

Speaker: 00:21:08

You're playing the role of a victim.

Speaker: 00:21:10

So the first thing really is just to identify those trends that

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we've become used to for so long.

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We just gotta start by being aware, and then once you're aware, you

Speaker: 00:21:19

can invite people into the journey.

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That's where the vulnerability comes.

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And a little bit of peer pressure goes a long way to have us do

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what we know we should be doing.

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When you, you make a plan, just take one thing and just practice

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the awareness of not being a victim.

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Having someone to walk the journey with you and just make a plan.

Speaker: 00:21:38

We, we talk about in the book that you get to this place where your journey sucks

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so much that you just stop and go, look, nobody cares until I do and I don't wanna

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be here anymore, so I'm gonna change.

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And so the second half of the book.

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Talks about acknowledge the reality, embrace the suck, find

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a solution and make it happen.

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So we teach you to be aware of the role that you play as a

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victim and how to stop doing that.

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And then we have a teach you how to have a plan to move forward

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to the life you really want.

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We don't.

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Tell you how to live your life or what to do step by step.

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But we give you the tools that will help you own every area of your

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life that you're ready to tackle.

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And I wasn't ready to tackle every area of my life that first day we got outta debt.

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I still had quite a, a lot of bad habits that I need to address.

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That one thing of owning it.

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Truly owning it gave me so much power and, and hope and encouragement to go

Speaker: 00:22:30

look at the other areas of my life.

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So just take one area, maybe a simple one.

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Maybe it's just your finance.

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Well, maybe finances are hard.

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Maybe it's just your time, you know, or your company.

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Whatever you wanna do.

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Pick a category and just practice being aware that you're playing a victim.

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Stop it and make a plan to to own it and change it.

Speaker: 00:22:47

And when you learn those tools and how it works, you can apply

Speaker: 00:22:49

it to every area of your life.

Speaker: 00:22:53

So as part of like this activity, this assessment is part of it looking

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at, like you talked about, you know, being aware of the suck is part

Speaker: 00:23:04

of that being aware to say, Hey, yeah, I'm going to sell my house.

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Hey, this is gonna be the cost to get from where I'm at, that.

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You know, really stinks to where I want to get to and it's gonna

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take some time and effort and again be, you know, potentially rough.

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Is that something that's part of that as well?

Speaker: 00:23:22

Yeah, the process is acknowledge reality.

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I mean, really, really be honest with yourself.

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We talk about standing in a, in front of a 360 mirror naked,

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there's nothing to hide, baby.

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You know what you look like when you're in a 360 mirror.

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It's that kind of vulnerability to the truth of the moment that

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you're at that we want you to take.

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What are you really, really dealing with here?

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And then when you look at that and you say, okay, this is where I'm at.

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Embrace the idea that it's gonna be hard to get that done.

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That's embrace the suck.

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But once you've got your head past the pain and you're looking at, I'm in a

Speaker: 00:23:55

bad spot, it's gonna suck to change the solution usually just manifests itself.

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We didn't have a plan at the beginning of the year.

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Before 2019 to sell our house.

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'cause nobody sells their house to fix their bills.

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That's insane.

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Cut off your nose, spite your face.

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Right.

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I'm just gonna have to go pay rent somewhere else.

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What's a man?

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There was so much emotion attached to the idea of selling our house, that

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that was not on the radar at all.

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But when we got to a place where we realized I don't like my life, and

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we embraced that the change was gonna suck, that then became an option.

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That thing, which would be ridiculous before now became well maybe so.

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So when you get to the place where you say, I'm done, I'm changing

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it now, everything's an option.

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Things you would never consider before and you just gear up

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to go, okay, it's gonna suck.

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Let's look around.

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What are my choices?

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And I'm telling you, the solutions will appear.

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And if you're really struggling, invite, that's, that's vulnerability again.

Speaker: 00:24:51

Invite someone into your journey and let them know what you've got and

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they, and seek counsel from other people who you respect and let them

Speaker: 00:24:59

help you make the best decision.

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So we're talking about inviting other people to hold us accountable, like to

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share where we're at and what's going on.

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What are some characteristics or um, uh.

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You know, habits, like what are we looking for in somebody that's right

Speaker: 00:25:23

to be trusted, um, for that kind of.

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Activity.

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Yeah.

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Not to over, not to beat this phrase up a lot, but we've gotta stop using

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the phrase, hold me accountable.

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'cause nobody can hold me accountable.

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I can lie to you and tell you anything I want you to hear, and

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I'm not accountable at that moment.

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But if you're gonna truly invite someone in.

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To walk the journey with you.

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They've gotta be someone that you respect and and will listen to, but also they

Speaker: 00:25:50

have to be the kind of person that will stand up for a healthy version of you.

Speaker: 00:25:53

Usually the people that allowed you and cheered you on to ruin

Speaker: 00:25:57

your life will not be the ones to help you clean it up usually.

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Um, I, I, we had to, we had to share our journey with certain people that

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we knew would say, good for you.

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What do you want to do?

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Because they had a lot of people saying, that's insane.

Speaker: 00:26:12

You don't sell your house.

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You gotta figure out, go to Dave Ramsey's, you know, get on an

Speaker: 00:26:16

eight year plan to get outta debt.

Speaker: 00:26:19

Dude, if I got vertigo again next six month, I don't have eight years.

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I, I can't wait for this thing to come around.

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And, and I needed people who would buy into my future vision of being

Speaker: 00:26:29

the best version of myself and taking accountability for this.

Speaker: 00:26:32

But there's an awful lot of people who have guilt for their own journey

Speaker: 00:26:35

and they don't want you getting better 'cause it makes them look bad.

Speaker: 00:26:37

They don't, they don't have their own junk organized anyway, and

Speaker: 00:26:41

you're just a zealot, settle down little boy, and those are the people

Speaker: 00:26:44

that are gonna wanna hold you back.

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So, you know, find those people that will encourage you to be the

Speaker: 00:26:48

best version of yourself and, and bring those people around you.

Speaker: 00:26:52

And don't stop being friends to the other people, but just

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don't go to them for counsel.

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You need someone who's gonna help you be that best version of you.

Speaker: 00:27:00

I think one of the hardest lessons on that, Robert, that I learned was that

Speaker: 00:27:05

sometimes family, as much as you want to trust them, are not in the place

Speaker: 00:27:11

themselves to be trusted in that way.

Speaker: 00:27:13

Yeah.

Speaker: 00:27:14

Um, it's not that they're bad, it's just that's their belief and they're on path.

Speaker: 00:27:19

It's different than the one you're setting out on, like you talked about,

Speaker: 00:27:22

you know, Hey, this is super extreme, you know, it's like, what's the logic

Speaker: 00:27:26

in selling our house to pay our bills?

Speaker: 00:27:29

It's, it's a tall order and very radical for some people, and it's like, but if

Speaker: 00:27:37

you succeed and that becomes the way out, then it puts the, you know, the people

Speaker: 00:27:43

that are like going, well wait a minute.

Speaker: 00:27:45

Then they have to kind of look at and go, do I want to take

Speaker: 00:27:49

those kind of actions as well?

Speaker: 00:27:51

Yeah.

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So, um.

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And they're not ready.

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Most people are not.

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Yeah.

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We're really good at looking at everyone else's life and figuring

Speaker: 00:27:58

out how screwed up they are, but we don't like looking at our own junk.

Speaker: 00:28:01

Yeah, that's so true.

Speaker: 00:28:03

Yeah.

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I think there's, there's.

Speaker: 00:28:06

Patience and time that you need to take to really choose those, to walk

Speaker: 00:28:12

through the journey and the process with you, rather than just going,

Speaker: 00:28:15

you know, Hey, I've got three people.

Speaker: 00:28:17

Cool.

Speaker: 00:28:18

They may not be the right ones, and they, they may be the anchor

Speaker: 00:28:22

that pulls you in the wrong direction and kind of sabotage you.

Speaker: 00:28:25

Yeah, we actually paid some guy to come to our house and look at our money with us

Speaker: 00:28:28

and paid him $250 every time he showed up.

Speaker: 00:28:31

Here we are trying to get outta debt.

Speaker: 00:28:32

We're paying some guy two $50 to come sit at our house, but

Speaker: 00:28:35

we wanted real accountability.

Speaker: 00:28:37

We wanted someone who wouldn't.

Speaker: 00:28:39

Deal with the emotional side.

Speaker: 00:28:40

Well, you deserve cable.

Speaker: 00:28:42

Well, you deserve to be a member at that gym.

Speaker: 00:28:44

We wanted someone who said, tell me your goal.

Speaker: 00:28:45

I'll help you make sure you stay on your goal.

Speaker: 00:28:47

There was no emotion in his world attached to our decisions.

Speaker: 00:28:50

He would just say, that's a lot of money.

Speaker: 00:28:52

What else can you do?

Speaker: 00:28:53

And we needed someone who didn't, uh, keep us from being the person we wanted to be.

Speaker: 00:28:58

Yeah, as, as good as the intentions of, of family and friends can be.

Speaker: 00:29:03

Sometimes they're cautious of offending us with the answer and they'll couch

Speaker: 00:29:08

it, which doesn't give us like that nitrous, nitrous oxide to, uh, to make

Speaker: 00:29:13

the progress that we're looking for.

Speaker: 00:29:15

That's why we have a coach.

Speaker: 00:29:16

Right?

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You know?

Speaker: 00:29:18

Yeah.

Speaker: 00:29:18

A coach is not emotionally attached to your problems.

Speaker: 00:29:21

And when you meet with someone and they say something, you go, well, that's

Speaker: 00:29:24

opposite of what you told me last time.

Speaker: 00:29:25

Why are you saying that now?

Speaker: 00:29:27

We don't have any reason to pull punches.

Speaker: 00:29:29

We're not, we're not emotionally attached to your journey, but family is.

Speaker: 00:29:33

Yeah.

Speaker: 00:29:34

So you may, you and your wife made this radical decision.

Speaker: 00:29:39

You sold your house.

Speaker: 00:29:40

What were some of the things you expected to change, and then what

Speaker: 00:29:44

were some of the unexpected benefits now that you're able to look at in

Speaker: 00:29:47

hindsight from taking that action?

Speaker: 00:29:50

Well, we just wanted to get outta debt.

Speaker: 00:29:52

I mean, that was the heartbeat.

Speaker: 00:29:53

It, we, it, it just trying to live under debt was, was too burdensome.

Speaker: 00:29:58

Uh, so we wanted to fix that.

Speaker: 00:30:00

I had no idea how much of a weenie I'd become while I was suffering under debt.

Speaker: 00:30:05

I looked, I lived in fear.

Speaker: 00:30:07

If I lost a client, I, I could go bankrupt 'cause I, I don't have enough money.

Speaker: 00:30:12

So I became so fearful of everything and so much worry and anxiety.

Speaker: 00:30:16

I had no idea how much I had.

Speaker: 00:30:18

I lost that drive and confidence.

Speaker: 00:30:21

But when I got out of debt, I had total confidence I could call up

Speaker: 00:30:25

any CEO in the, in the area, go, Hey, I know you don't know me, but

Speaker: 00:30:28

I do this and you don't talk to me.

Speaker: 00:30:30

Okay, have a good day.

Speaker: 00:30:30

Move on.

Speaker: 00:30:31

It wasn't crushing my ego 'cause I felt so good about myself that I'd owned my.

Speaker: 00:30:36

My life and made the right change.

Speaker: 00:30:38

It was so much power and so much clarity.

Speaker: 00:30:41

You know, when you're overwhelmed, you don't have creativity.

Speaker: 00:30:45

Overwhelmed.

Speaker: 00:30:46

We can have another call in the, in the future and talk about overload and

Speaker: 00:30:49

the effects of overload in our lives.

Speaker: 00:30:50

But overload, ru ruins creativity.

Speaker: 00:30:53

You live in fear and panic, and if, if you hinge your identity on something you

Speaker: 00:30:58

can lose, you're gonna always work in fear and, and thinking you're gonna lose this.

Speaker: 00:31:02

You're gonna have fear and worry.

Speaker: 00:31:03

And so that's how I lived.

Speaker: 00:31:05

So my confidence, my boldness, my joy, uh, was just over, out, out the roof.

Speaker: 00:31:10

It was awesome.

Speaker: 00:31:13

It's, it's often you can see some of the benefits, but it's.

Speaker: 00:31:17

Like, I think the personal, um, internal changes that, you know, come as the

Speaker: 00:31:24

unexpected benefits where you're like, like you talked about, I'm not tied to

Speaker: 00:31:28

somebody's reaction to what I'm doing.

Speaker: 00:31:31

I now feel more confident and I. I don't know about you, Robert, but it's like

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I could always use more confidence, especially when I was playing that victim

Speaker: 00:31:40

role and looking for it and going like, okay, I have this insatiable appetite

Speaker: 00:31:45

that's never feeding, you know, or filling this bottomless pit where it's like, I.

Speaker: 00:31:50

Now what?

Speaker: 00:31:51

You know, I need to be validated.

Speaker: 00:31:53

I need to be approved.

Speaker: 00:31:54

And it's like when that, that stuff is gone, dude, you've talked about

Speaker: 00:31:57

just like this amazing freedom and also this elevation in how

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you see yourself and step out.

Speaker: 00:32:04

Mm-hmm.

Speaker: 00:32:05

Which.

Speaker: 00:32:05

I'm assuming then created more opportunities for you because you're

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not playing from like a weaker position.

Speaker: 00:32:12

Is that accurate?

Speaker: 00:32:13

Yeah, everything was an option.

Speaker: 00:32:15

You know, Kathy and I went to marriage counseling.

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Um, I realized that during Covid I drank an awful lot of bourbon and, and that

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with chips and snacks and not going to the gym, I just gained so much weight

Speaker: 00:32:25

and so I started looking at my health and realizing the bad habits I had picked up.

Speaker: 00:32:29

During that time, I looked at my friendships that were weak.

Speaker: 00:32:32

At best, I looked at my faith.

Speaker: 00:32:34

I looked at all the things that we were involved in and how we just were

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kind of going with whatever we got.

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We weren't actually creating a vision of what we wanted and going chasing it,

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but with the power and the confidence of the first thing done, it fueled

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the bill to go do something else.

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And then when I did that and I did that, I realized I can

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change everything We always say.

Speaker: 00:32:54

When you take accountability for everything in your life, you gain the

Speaker: 00:32:57

power to change anything in your life.

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Whether it's horribly awkward or incredibly difficult, it doesn't matter.

Speaker: 00:33:05

You can change 'em all and it's still gonna take time.

Speaker: 00:33:08

We equate in the story, these journeys, like climbing a mountain, it takes

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a long time to climb a mountain, a lot of prep, a lot of hard work.

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So all these things that we tackled in the last few years have been really hard work.

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But I tackled them.

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I'm owning it.

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I'm on a progress towards it.

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I'm still in that rental house.

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Five years later, I'm still here.

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'cause I'm not gonna buy a house.

Speaker: 00:33:29

I gotta rebuild my retirement.

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Someday I won't be able to work anymore and I don't have any

Speaker: 00:33:33

retirement money set up, not enough.

Speaker: 00:33:35

And so I've gotta start doing that.

Speaker: 00:33:36

So to throw money in a house doesn't make sense.

Speaker: 00:33:39

'cause we're living intentionally about what do I want my life to

Speaker: 00:33:41

look like and my life does not look like the kind of house I live in.

Speaker: 00:33:45

It looks like the wife I have who every night when I go to bed has, I

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have my arm around her and my life is good 'cause she's there and I have a,

Speaker: 00:33:53

I have calm and peace in my life and friendships and rich moments of enjoying

Speaker: 00:33:57

these these days without fear and worry.

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That's what I want.

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That's what I got.

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There's other stuff we're gonna work on, but we'll be doing that till we're dead.

Speaker: 00:34:05

Yeah.

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I think that's the difference is being willing to work on things to

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continue to improve and not expecting, Hey, I should have arrived by now.

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You know, I'm whatever age there's this false expectation that, you know, we

Speaker: 00:34:22

have and may have come from somebody else, but it's like, okay, how can I

Speaker: 00:34:26

continue to go, uh, the distance and, and continue to growing and developing myself?

Speaker: 00:34:32

Um.

Speaker: 00:34:33

As far as like you've talked about, hey, this is gonna be a long

Speaker: 00:34:37

journey, you know, it's, you're gonna have to go some distance.

Speaker: 00:34:40

How do you see guys be able to stay in like that charge mode to be stay engaged?

Speaker: 00:34:50

Is it the accountability or is it a mindset or what keeps you

Speaker: 00:34:54

going the distance, even when it's like, you know, you talked

Speaker: 00:34:58

about five years now in the house.

Speaker: 00:34:59

What keeps you going?

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Um.

Speaker: 00:35:02

The distance to finish things out.

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Yeah, it's vulnerability and we've talked about that a lot.

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I have a couple dear friends that know my life very personally besides my wife and

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I invite them into my journey every year.

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This is what I'm working on this year.

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This is what I'm due.

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And then we walk together.

Speaker: 00:35:17

I. Sometimes they're sharing the journey.

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Sometimes they've got their own thing they're working on,

Speaker: 00:35:21

but they'll check in with me.

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I think, uh, having friends who will ask you and care for you

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while you do that keeps it alive.

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But I put it in writing and I declare it.

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And so when I have my clients at the beginning of the year, we say,

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what are we gonna do for the year?

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And I share my goals too.

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And so, you know, one of the reasons l leaders don't write

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down their goals is 'cause they don't wanna be accountable to 'em.

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'cause you write it down, now you gotta do it right.

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So you just don't tell your employees anything.

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Just, you know, make up your mind as you go.

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I declare it to my clients, this is where we're going this year and

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you guys are with me, and here's what life's gonna look like.

Speaker: 00:35:54

The more you regularly expose what you want to other people who

Speaker: 00:35:59

can walk in the journey with you, the more fuel it keeps going.

Speaker: 00:36:03

'cause peer pressure's huge.

Speaker: 00:36:04

I. It's all the things that we did bad as kids were for peer pressure.

Speaker: 00:36:08

Well, it's a good peer pressure now.

Speaker: 00:36:10

Now it's the kind of peer pressure that cheers you on or, or brings a

Speaker: 00:36:13

resource when you need it the most.

Speaker: 00:36:15

So I think continually re-looking at your life and evaluating where you want

Speaker: 00:36:19

to be and where you're satisfied or not, and then making an intentional plan

Speaker: 00:36:22

each year and inviting people to know what you're working on has what has kept

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it alive and and flourishing for us.

Speaker: 00:36:29

Hmm.

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So you're looking at your goals, your objectives as you're going

Speaker: 00:36:35

along throughout the year.

Speaker: 00:36:37

Yeah.

Speaker: 00:36:38

Is there any, if I find out Robert's seven months down the road, Hey, I

Speaker: 00:36:44

thought I really wanted this, but that's gonna put me off target.

Speaker: 00:36:48

I actually need to do this.

Speaker: 00:36:50

Do we have the freedom to change things?

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Yeah.

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In, in.

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In process.

Speaker: 00:36:57

Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker: 00:36:58

It's your life.

Speaker: 00:36:59

You get to do whatever you wanna do.

Speaker: 00:37:00

What you don't wanna do is weasel out of it because it got hard.

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This is where you set goals and and timelines and you share with people.

Speaker: 00:37:09

And as it's getting really hard, you say it's getting really hard.

Speaker: 00:37:12

And let people encourage you as you walk that and you might find out that you

Speaker: 00:37:16

don't want to do anything about this.

Speaker: 00:37:18

After all, I wanna chase something else instead.

Speaker: 00:37:20

It's really not about getting to the top of the mountain, it's

Speaker: 00:37:22

about learning to climb the.

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'cause if I have a tool that teaches me how to deal with everything in my

Speaker: 00:37:27

life, there's nothing that's off limits.

Speaker: 00:37:30

And I could intentionally chase the life I want, whatever category I want.

Speaker: 00:37:35

But if I'm doing something to really be healthy and something

Speaker: 00:37:38

to really manage my finances and something to work in my marriage,

Speaker: 00:37:40

and I just go, you know, right now.

Speaker: 00:37:42

I'll be fat for a little while longer.

Speaker: 00:37:44

I'll just kinda let that one roll and I'll buy a bigger shirt.

Speaker: 00:37:47

But right now I'm working on doing this as long as you own it.

Speaker: 00:37:51

If you could tell someone, I've decided I'm gonna stay fat a little

Speaker: 00:37:54

longer, and I'm okay with it.

Speaker: 00:37:55

I don't like it, but I'm okay with it compared to where I'm going here, and you

Speaker: 00:38:00

own that and don't be a weasel about it.

Speaker: 00:38:02

Then, yeah, you could change your mind and adjust as you go.

Speaker: 00:38:05

You move your focus.

Speaker: 00:38:06

We do that in companies.

Speaker: 00:38:07

We say, here's our plan.

Speaker: 00:38:08

This is our strategy, what we wanna do, this is the plan.

Speaker: 00:38:10

We're gonna go to do that.

Speaker: 00:38:12

And then we might find out the economy's bad or, or market's not doing this,

Speaker: 00:38:15

so let's pivot and let's go do this.

Speaker: 00:38:17

That's very normal.

Speaker: 00:38:18

Why can't we do that in our own personal lives?

Speaker: 00:38:20

Yeah, the, uh, oftentimes we don't give ourselves that freedom to course correct.

Speaker: 00:38:26

It's, I'm stuck on the objective and, and I can't change it.

Speaker: 00:38:30

So I just wanted to, to touch base on that.

Speaker: 00:38:34

I, I do want to ask like, how often are you looking at your goals to

Speaker: 00:38:38

keep it fresh and top of mind?

Speaker: 00:38:41

And then how often are you checking in with, um.

Speaker: 00:38:45

The, the guys that you've asked to be on the journey with you and you know,

Speaker: 00:38:50

are there specific questions that you're having them ask you so that you know

Speaker: 00:38:55

they're not couching it and you are not, uh, avoiding it or lying to them?

Speaker: 00:39:00

There's a lot of questions there.

Speaker: 00:39:02

I, I look at, sorry, Robert, I look at it weekly.

Speaker: 00:39:05

Uh, I have something called the water line.

Speaker: 00:39:07

And, uh, when a boat sits in the water, anything that happens above

Speaker: 00:39:11

the waterline is no big deal.

Speaker: 00:39:12

Anything below is a big deal.

Speaker: 00:39:14

And so for my life and my business, I created a waterline where when

Speaker: 00:39:18

it comes to these decisions, Kathy and I have to make 'em together.

Speaker: 00:39:21

And we really have to spend time praying about these and make decisions based in

Speaker: 00:39:25

the light of our purpose and our goals.

Speaker: 00:39:27

Everything else, who cares?

Speaker: 00:39:28

Anyone can make that decision.

Speaker: 00:39:29

But weekly I look at my, my Waterline, which includes my core

Speaker: 00:39:32

values and my goals for the year.

Speaker: 00:39:34

And so I'm weekly.

Speaker: 00:39:36

What I wanna achieve and I, my calendar that calendar.

Speaker: 00:39:41

Quarterly, no.

Speaker: 00:39:42

Monthly I meet with the peer groups that I lead.

Speaker: 00:39:45

One of 'em is called the Trusted Advisor Group, and I share with

Speaker: 00:39:47

them my progress against my goals.

Speaker: 00:39:50

It's on a name placard that I sit at when we have our meetings.

Speaker: 00:39:53

Everyone has their own name placard with their goals on the name placard.

Speaker: 00:39:56

And we review, Hey, this month, how did you get chasing your goals?

Speaker: 00:40:00

And then we work on solving those issues if we're not getting it done.

Speaker: 00:40:03

And then quarterly, Kathy and I justify a vacation somewhere and

Speaker: 00:40:07

go and review our quarterly goals.

Speaker: 00:40:09

And so we quarterly take that sheet and we say, here's the number of sales

Speaker: 00:40:13

calls, here's the revenue we generate.

Speaker: 00:40:14

Here's these things.

Speaker: 00:40:15

Here's how much time we spent doing this.

Speaker: 00:40:17

Here's what our weight is.

Speaker: 00:40:18

Here's the fund we had as a married couple.

Speaker: 00:40:20

All the stuff we care about and wanna measure.

Speaker: 00:40:22

We do that quarterly and we get a little vacation out of it at the same time.

Speaker: 00:40:27

So you're celebrating as well in the midst of it.

Speaker: 00:40:30

It's not just Chase, chase, chase.

Speaker: 00:40:32

You're acknowledging and celebrating the progress you've made.

Speaker: 00:40:35

Um, you know, to get you.

Speaker: 00:40:38

Keep you going, I'm assuming.

Speaker: 00:40:40

Is that right?

Speaker: 00:40:40

Right.

Speaker: 00:40:40

Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker: 00:40:41

It's a 13 week race.

Speaker: 00:40:43

Every quarter is a 13 week race.

Speaker: 00:40:44

I can do anything for 13 weeks and after 13 weeks you go, this isn't working.

Speaker: 00:40:48

We're we're not.

Speaker: 00:40:49

We're not getting the results we want.

Speaker: 00:40:51

We're not gonna wait till the end of the year to figure out we didn't do what we

Speaker: 00:40:53

wanna do in our marriage, our health.

Speaker: 00:40:55

Anything.

Speaker: 00:40:56

Nothing.

Speaker: 00:40:57

So 13 weeks is all you get, and after 13 weeks you go, that's

Speaker: 00:41:00

not, it's not hitting the number.

Speaker: 00:41:02

All right.

Speaker: 00:41:02

What do you wanna do next?

Speaker: 00:41:03

Well, let's pivot.

Speaker: 00:41:04

I hate using the word pivot that was used so much in the last five

Speaker: 00:41:07

years, but we could pivot a little bit and we could try this and let's

Speaker: 00:41:10

just, let's spend more time here.

Speaker: 00:41:12

But we're looking at it every 13 weeks in the light of, are we living the life

Speaker: 00:41:16

we want, which includes our business?

Speaker: 00:41:18

Are we living the life we want?

Speaker: 00:41:19

If not, what do we wanna do for the next 13 weeks?

Speaker: 00:41:22

Hmm.

Speaker: 00:41:23

Yeah, and I think being on the same page is so powerful because you're

Speaker: 00:41:28

not just in your head in a vacuum, but you're also making sure that your wife

Speaker: 00:41:34

is understanding where things are at.

Speaker: 00:41:36

And I'm assuming you're asking, I. Her like, Hey, how do you see things?

Speaker: 00:41:40

Mm-hmm.

Speaker: 00:41:40

Because I don't know about you, Robert, but my wife does not

Speaker: 00:41:43

always see things as I see it.

Speaker: 00:41:45

Correct.

Speaker: 00:41:46

And that's good because there's a lot of times she'll ask me questions

Speaker: 00:41:49

that I don't really wanna deal with.

Speaker: 00:41:50

I think I'm, I kinda make excuses for why this is okay and she'll go, but I

Speaker: 00:41:53

thought you were gonna have 'em do this.

Speaker: 00:41:55

Well, yeah, I guess I did.

Speaker: 00:41:56

And she's very smart and very discerning.

Speaker: 00:41:59

And, and again, I learned accountability is only as accountable as you want to be.

Speaker: 00:42:03

So if I wanna lie to her, I never get my goals done.

Speaker: 00:42:06

And she's my best friend, so why would I lie to my best friend?

Speaker: 00:42:09

And so when she asked me a question, I go, no, I decided not to do that.

Speaker: 00:42:11

How come?

Speaker: 00:42:12

Well, I guess, I guess I just haven't been doing it.

Speaker: 00:42:14

Well, what would it take for you to get back on track?

Speaker: 00:42:17

She knows the questions to ask.

Speaker: 00:42:18

She's not, you know, you said you were gonna do this.

Speaker: 00:42:21

We don't need that from each other as spouses, but we do.

Speaker: 00:42:24

We learned to ask questions and not accuse, ask the questions

Speaker: 00:42:28

and Well, why don't you tell me?

Speaker: 00:42:29

How do you feel when you didn't hit that goal?

Speaker: 00:42:31

What else could you have done?

Speaker: 00:42:32

What would you like to do?

Speaker: 00:42:32

Going forward?

Speaker: 00:42:33

And by asking questions is disarming.

Speaker: 00:42:36

We're not accusing.

Speaker: 00:42:38

Yeah.

Speaker: 00:42:39

And this is where that vulnerability comes in.

Speaker: 00:42:41

And I'll be, I'll be transparent on this, Robert.

Speaker: 00:42:44

I remember taking my wife on like a weekend trip, right?

Speaker: 00:42:47

Like.

Speaker: 00:42:48

Kind of what you're talking about on a quarterly basis, but I took her out

Speaker: 00:42:51

and I asked her some questions from a podcast I'd listened to, and I was

Speaker: 00:42:55

like, dude, I'm, I'm gonna crush this.

Speaker: 00:42:58

I'll tell you, Robert, I was not in a place to receive how

Speaker: 00:43:03

she was talking about things.

Speaker: 00:43:05

And so I was then providing excuses to what she was saying,

Speaker: 00:43:10

you know, kind of invalidating her perspective so that I felt worthy.

Speaker: 00:43:15

And I think it's, it's one of those of, you know, it's, it's going to

Speaker: 00:43:20

push us outside of our comfort.

Speaker: 00:43:23

Sure.

Speaker: 00:43:23

But the rewards from it, dude, they are huge.

Speaker: 00:43:27

Um, when we get to the other side,

Speaker: 00:43:29

if you want accountability, you gotta be vulnerable.

Speaker: 00:43:32

And you gotta listen long enough to know that they're right.

Speaker: 00:43:35

So many times we listen to our spouses so we can argue they're, they're wrong

Speaker: 00:43:40

and we're just waiting for them to finish, to go, no, no, no, no, this

Speaker: 00:43:42

is, instead I just soak it in, go.

Speaker: 00:43:46

You think what?

Speaker: 00:43:47

I'm really listening.

Speaker: 00:43:48

Why does she say that?

Speaker: 00:43:49

What does she see in me that I'm not willing to see?

Speaker: 00:43:52

My wife is so insightful and so discerned, and she loves me, so if she's calling

Speaker: 00:43:57

me out, instead of being guarded and uptight and defensive, I just gotta go.

Speaker: 00:44:01

What does she see that I'm not seeing and really seek to understand it?

Speaker: 00:44:05

I think God uses her to speak to me.

Speaker: 00:44:08

'cause she's discerning and if I shut it down, I'm missing the voice of God.

Speaker: 00:44:12

So I'm very intentional to listen and go, all right, help me understand

Speaker: 00:44:15

more about that in a really caring, genuine way, not dismissive.

Speaker: 00:44:21

Yeah.

Speaker: 00:44:22

And if it's not at that place like you're talking about with your wife,

Speaker: 00:44:26

I think that's something else we need to really honestly look at.

Speaker: 00:44:29

You know what?

Speaker: 00:44:30

What is there about my wife that's got her in this place and what is there about me?

Speaker: 00:44:36

Yeah.

Speaker: 00:44:36

That I'm not in the place to participate in that way, and it's an

Speaker: 00:44:39

opportunity not, um, you know, like something you have to do instead.

Speaker: 00:44:45

It's an opportunity to grow and strengthen that marriage in a

Speaker: 00:44:48

way that maybe you've never.

Speaker: 00:44:50

Experienced before or even thought it could get to.

Speaker: 00:44:54

Um, and I will say at the beginning when, when we started this whole

Speaker: 00:44:58

transition and she would ask questions, she was not aware of how much

Speaker: 00:45:01

stress and worry and problems I had.

Speaker: 00:45:03

So when she started ask questions, I got very uncomfortable.

Speaker: 00:45:05

'cause I had to tear the bandaid off.

Speaker: 00:45:07

And it was really hard.

Speaker: 00:45:08

There were times where I felt attacked by her.

Speaker: 00:45:11

She was not attacking, she was trying to understand.

Speaker: 00:45:13

But because of my insecurities and vulnerability of being

Speaker: 00:45:16

completely transparent about this, it was really hard.

Speaker: 00:45:19

So I had to, I had to coach her to say, you have to know

Speaker: 00:45:21

how weak I feel right now.

Speaker: 00:45:23

I feel humiliated.

Speaker: 00:45:24

I feel like such a failure.

Speaker: 00:45:26

I, I've made us sell our house and start over.

Speaker: 00:45:28

I look like a loser to the world.

Speaker: 00:45:30

So please, as you ask these questions.

Speaker: 00:45:33

Do it like a mommy talking to a child who's afraid of a lightning storm and

Speaker: 00:45:38

is trying to understand and not tell him, stop being worried about the

Speaker: 00:45:41

lightning and said, you know, talk to me in this very kind, tender way.

Speaker: 00:45:44

I need an extra dose of that as you ask your questions.

Speaker: 00:45:48

Yeah, dude, that's so powerful there, Robert.

Speaker: 00:45:52

Well man, Robert, there has been.

Speaker: 00:45:55

No shortage of things that you have provided, insights on guidance and

Speaker: 00:46:01

just, hey, what's on the other side of doing these hard, uncomfortable

Speaker: 00:46:04

things, the huge benefits.

Speaker: 00:46:07

Absolutely.

Speaker: 00:46:08

Um.

Speaker: 00:46:08

Outside of this podcast, if guys are like, Robert, this really is

Speaker: 00:46:12

something I want to jump into.

Speaker: 00:46:14

I wanna understand more, how can they connect with you outside of

Speaker: 00:46:17

the podcast and get more information to, to move along further?

Speaker: 00:46:21

Yeah.

Speaker: 00:46:22

You can go to our book website, which is NobodyCaresBook.com and

Speaker: 00:46:27

my contact information is in there.

Speaker: 00:46:29

Send me an email, tell me.

Speaker: 00:46:30

Go take the assessment, look at it, decide what you think is your

Speaker: 00:46:33

issues, and then tell me your journey.

Speaker: 00:46:35

Send me a copy of your assessment and say, be vulnerable.

Speaker: 00:46:38

Practice it with me.

Speaker: 00:46:39

I read every single email that comes through that website and we want

Speaker: 00:46:43

to invite people into a community.

Speaker: 00:46:44

We actually have a community page, so we we're accessible and we

Speaker: 00:46:48

wanna walk your journey with you.

Speaker: 00:46:49

We'd be happy to do that.

Speaker: 00:46:51

Fantastic.

Speaker: 00:46:52

Well, man, all that will be inside of the show notes so that, uh, you

Speaker: 00:46:56

know, guys can catch this but not have to, uh, try and go searching the

Speaker: 00:47:02

internet, get to the website while they're driving or doing anything else.

Speaker: 00:47:05

It's all there and available and, you know, the, the next step is them

Speaker: 00:47:10

taking action so it's there for you.

Speaker: 00:47:12

Um, you know, if you've heard from from Robertson my discussion

Speaker: 00:47:16

that it's like, Hey man, I'm at that point where I'm just tired.

Speaker: 00:47:19

I don't know what to do and I do want something better than

Speaker: 00:47:22

what I'm experiencing right now.

Speaker: 00:47:25

Connect with Robert, take the assessment, what he's talked about

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here, and, uh, start on that path.

Speaker: 00:47:31

So Robert, I appreciate you joining me today.

Speaker: 00:47:34

Thank you so much, my friend.

Speaker: 00:47:35

Well, I enjoyed it.

Speaker: 00:47:36

Thank you for having me, Mike.

Speaker: 00:47:38

My pleasure.

Speaker: 00:47:38

I.