Conquering Challenges Through Resilience and Mental Toughness with Jeff Robertson

Mike Forrester: 00:00:01

Well, hello and welcome back my friend.

Mike Forrester: 00:00:04

This week, Jeff Robertson is joining me and Jeff, man, he has had every

Mike Forrester: 00:00:10

reason to just look at life and go, I'm not gonna push through.

Mike Forrester: 00:00:16

Woe is me.

Mike Forrester: 00:00:17

Right?

Mike Forrester: 00:00:18

We've had those challenges where it's like they seem insurmountable.

Mike Forrester: 00:00:22

Well, Jeff's gonna talk to us about resilience and mental toughness.

Mike Forrester: 00:00:26

It's a game changer.

Mike Forrester: 00:00:27

Once we see that, it's like there is a way out and we start, you know, fighting

Mike Forrester: 00:00:33

against the things that have been holding us back and hold other men back, right?

Mike Forrester: 00:00:40

There's nothing stopping you from today.

Mike Forrester: 00:00:43

Changing who you are, what you believe that you're capable of.

Mike Forrester: 00:00:47

And so we're gonna jump into Jeff's story and, and the challenges that he's faced.

Mike Forrester: 00:00:52

And I really hope that you'll come away with seeing yourself with that

Mike Forrester: 00:00:57

ability, with that possibility to, uh, make that transformation in your own

Mike Forrester: 00:01:02

life and write a different story than maybe what you're believing today.

Mike Forrester: 00:01:08

Jeff, how are you doing today, my friend?

Jeff Robertson: 00:01:09

Doing good, man.

Jeff Robertson: 00:01:10

Appreciate you having me.

Jeff Robertson: 00:01:12

Appreciate that opening.

Jeff Robertson: 00:01:13

Um, I'm excited to, um, I'm excited, man, for, for you and I to have an

Jeff Robertson: 00:01:18

amazing conversation and, um, uh, hopefully, hopefully we will, uh,

Jeff Robertson: 00:01:22

uh, speak into some ears today.

Mike Forrester: 00:01:24

Yeah.

Mike Forrester: 00:01:25

I have no doubt that it's like, you know, the, the hope and the belief

Mike Forrester: 00:01:30

that, you know, comes from your story and your journey will have impact.

Mike Forrester: 00:01:33

So I'm looking forward to that, my friend.

Mike Forrester: 00:01:36

Well, let's jump off first in talking about like, what does life look like

Mike Forrester: 00:01:40

for you on the professional side of things, you know, what are you doing

Mike Forrester: 00:01:43

business wise, at this point in time?

Jeff Robertson: 00:01:46

Um, my main day-to-day is on business coaching, uh,

Jeff Robertson: 00:01:50

business coaching workshops, teaching marketing, uh, do a lot in ai.

Jeff Robertson: 00:01:55

Right now we've just, where it's kind of new to the markets and helping

Jeff Robertson: 00:01:58

businesses integrate with that.

Jeff Robertson: 00:01:59

So I, I spend a lot of time working in small to medium businesses and

Jeff Robertson: 00:02:04

then that's on the business side.

Jeff Robertson: 00:02:05

And then I do personal development coaching workshops.

Jeff Robertson: 00:02:08

Uh, I. Speak, I speak to the stories that we're gonna talk about today,

Jeff Robertson: 00:02:12

um, and whatever that setting may be.

Jeff Robertson: 00:02:15

So I do that.

Jeff Robertson: 00:02:16

I do resilience workshops, uh, um, and do some, do some different mindset

Jeff Robertson: 00:02:21

workshops along with my speaking.

Jeff Robertson: 00:02:23

So two sides of that, um, professional house basically.

Mike Forrester: 00:02:27

Yeah, and it's interesting to see, like we can think business is

Mike Forrester: 00:02:31

so detached from, you know, like the personal aspect you're talking about,

Mike Forrester: 00:02:37

you know, like personal development and business coaching and often the

Mike Forrester: 00:02:42

ties and the hurdles that we have in the business life carry over, but.

Jeff Robertson: 00:02:47

Mike, I don't know.

Jeff Robertson: 00:02:47

One of, one of the things you just said, it is every, um, I will go in if it's a,

Jeff Robertson: 00:02:52

if it's transactional, it's different.

Jeff Robertson: 00:02:54

But if it's over a 30 minute conversation, generally I have, I am go, you're

Jeff Robertson: 00:02:59

going to walk away with something.

Jeff Robertson: 00:03:02

Uh, if we're having, if it's, especially if it's an individual owner or, or.

Jeff Robertson: 00:03:05

Uh, lead that's talking to me, I generally pick up on a, a

Jeff Robertson: 00:03:09

nugget of, Hey, wait a minute.

Jeff Robertson: 00:03:11

Hang on here.

Jeff Robertson: 00:03:11

I heard you say, why do you say that?

Jeff Robertson: 00:03:12

Like that.

Jeff Robertson: 00:03:13

And then we work on, Hey, here's your problem.

Jeff Robertson: 00:03:15

Marketing.

Jeff Robertson: 00:03:16

Yeah.

Jeff Robertson: 00:03:16

I'll teach you that in just a second, but let me talk to you about this.

Jeff Robertson: 00:03:18

So some kind of personal development always comes out of it.

Mike Forrester: 00:03:22

Do you see it more as like it's kind of a foundational

Mike Forrester: 00:03:25

thing where somebody else.

Mike Forrester: 00:03:26

may see it as kind of like a, just outer periphery.

Mike Forrester: 00:03:31

It doesn't, it doesn't impact my business much.

Mike Forrester: 00:03:33

Jeff, is that kind of like what you'll see instead of the, uh, the central core

Mike Forrester: 00:03:39

kind of aspect that needs to be addressed?

Jeff Robertson: 00:03:40

Yeah.

Jeff Robertson: 00:03:41

Um.

Jeff Robertson: 00:03:42

One of the biggest ones, and this is, this is generally an easy to

Jeff Robertson: 00:03:45

see, so some of 'em I just, I have to pick up on through the conversation.

Jeff Robertson: 00:03:49

But one of the easier ones is when they're, when they're trying to grow

Jeff Robertson: 00:03:53

a team, I'm trying to grow Jeff.

Jeff Robertson: 00:03:55

I'm trying to grow a team.

Jeff Robertson: 00:03:56

I just don't understand.

Jeff Robertson: 00:03:57

I just don't understand why these guys don't wanna do it.

Jeff Robertson: 00:03:59

I say, and let's get going and sitting under it.

Jeff Robertson: 00:04:01

I'm like, I sure.

Jeff Robertson: 00:04:02

Being, if you're talking to me like you're, if you're talking

Jeff Robertson: 00:04:07

to them like you're talking to me, I, I know, known you forever.

Jeff Robertson: 00:04:11

I know how you, but you can't grow a team.

Jeff Robertson: 00:04:13

Um.

Jeff Robertson: 00:04:14

So just, I, I teach people, people I, uh, uh, uh, people skills 101 of

Jeff Robertson: 00:04:20

just being like, Hey, and, and there's some of my advice is, Hey, let's

Jeff Robertson: 00:04:23

get our first hire to be someone who can talk to the rest of your team.

Jeff Robertson: 00:04:27

You need, you need a, you need someone who can help with your messaging

Jeff Robertson: 00:04:30

'cause you're ticking everybody off.

Jeff Robertson: 00:04:31

'Cause because people struggle with that.

Jeff Robertson: 00:04:32

They just don't know how to, they don't know their, their eagles or their alpha

Jeff Robertson: 00:04:36

personalities or high Ds on that disc.

Jeff Robertson: 00:04:39

Parameter.

Jeff Robertson: 00:04:40

And they need a, they need a, a, a parrot, uh, or an I.

Jeff Robertson: 00:04:44

You know, someone that can come along who enjoys those, those the pep and the hype.

Jeff Robertson: 00:04:48

So, um, that comes outta the disc world.

Jeff Robertson: 00:04:51

But that's it.

Jeff Robertson: 00:04:51

That's probably the one that, uh, for your audience that, uh, they'll know

Jeff Robertson: 00:04:55

if you want to help someone you'd like.

Jeff Robertson: 00:04:57

Um, and you'll see it coaching like over on the other side.

Jeff Robertson: 00:05:00

I'll see it in coaching or whatever, like, hit the ball

Jeff Robertson: 00:05:03

little Johnny, and I'm like, as.

Jeff Robertson: 00:05:04

Ah, that's not gonna do little Johnny any justice today.

Jeff Robertson: 00:05:08

'cause little Johnny's afraid of swinging that bat now 'cause Right.

Jeff Robertson: 00:05:11

Just how you interact.

Jeff Robertson: 00:05:12

It's all,

Mike Forrester: 00:05:13

the disc is definitely a tool for opening up and

Mike Forrester: 00:05:16

kind of helping us be self-aware.

Mike Forrester: 00:05:18

Yeah.

Mike Forrester: 00:05:19

Understanding what our strengths and challenges are and how to function

Mike Forrester: 00:05:22

with them and other people that.

Mike Forrester: 00:05:24

Aren't us.

Mike Forrester: 00:05:26

They don't fall into the same buckets

Jeff Robertson: 00:05:28

I got and mine came through.

Jeff Robertson: 00:05:30

Uh, I teach the one that kind of spoke to me and we used birds.

Jeff Robertson: 00:05:33

And still the letters 'cause the letters, like it was always kind like,

Jeff Robertson: 00:05:36

ah, it's just that, ah, DI don't, um, but then when they were like, Eagle

Jeff Robertson: 00:05:40

and I was like, I understand that.

Jeff Robertson: 00:05:42

And then parrot, uh uh, um.

Jeff Robertson: 00:05:45

dove and owl So those, that's an animal represents a personality.

Jeff Robertson: 00:05:48

So that one kind of started making a whole lot of sense to me.

Jeff Robertson: 00:05:51

And then after I, I dialed it in, um, it, it, it works on a lot of

Jeff Robertson: 00:05:57

the stuff that I teach in Discord.

Jeff Robertson: 00:05:58

The training that I've had, it has been on, you learn how to talk

Jeff Robertson: 00:06:01

to the person that you're talking to, how they need to be talked to,

Jeff Robertson: 00:06:04

not how you want to talk to them.

Jeff Robertson: 00:06:06

That kind of spoke to me and that made me a better coach by using,

Jeff Robertson: 00:06:10

deploying those tactics as well of just being able to kinda.

Jeff Robertson: 00:06:14

Fill out, you know, how, how I needed to talk back if they were, you know,

Jeff Robertson: 00:06:18

if they were blunt and, uh, does it, you know, coming across as that eagle,

Jeff Robertson: 00:06:21

then I know, hey, I, they don't want me rambling like I'm doing right now.

Mike Forrester: 00:06:25

it's funny how that, that works.

Mike Forrester: 00:06:26

You know, you look at like our marriages and, uh, relationships

Mike Forrester: 00:06:31

with significant others and you can see that same kind of thing with,

Mike Forrester: 00:06:35

uh, you know, like love languages.

Mike Forrester: 00:06:37

It's not.

Mike Forrester: 00:06:38

Who I am and how I communicate in order to, you know, bridge and connect.

Mike Forrester: 00:06:45

Understanding who we are and who the person we're communicating

Mike Forrester: 00:06:48

with, man, it just, it takes communication to the next level.

Mike Forrester: 00:06:55

Um, just really puts nitrous oxide in it to where I'm not just asking

Mike Forrester: 00:07:00

or giving instructions, but it's like there's a bond and it's, you know,

Mike Forrester: 00:07:05

creates that relationship almost like, the generals and commanders Yeah.

Mike Forrester: 00:07:09

Where they had people follow him into war.

Mike Forrester: 00:07:12

It creates that comradery and that connection, man.

Mike Forrester: 00:07:14

So

Jeff Robertson: 00:07:15

yeah, you don't, the one thing you learn is you

Jeff Robertson: 00:07:18

don't want too many of any.

Jeff Robertson: 00:07:20

In one place.

Jeff Robertson: 00:07:21

You don't want that.

Jeff Robertson: 00:07:23

You don't want a room full of eagles or, or D's because everybody's gonna fight.

Jeff Robertson: 00:07:27

They are not going to get along because you ever hear that term like, oh,

Jeff Robertson: 00:07:31

y'all's problem is y'all just alike.

Jeff Robertson: 00:07:33

Um, you see that sometimes with kids where they have to lived, lived

Jeff Robertson: 00:07:35

in the same household or whatever.

Jeff Robertson: 00:07:37

And then, and I'll come alongside and find employees that are.

Jeff Robertson: 00:07:40

Having friction.

Jeff Robertson: 00:07:40

I'm like, yeah, all right.

Jeff Robertson: 00:07:41

Here's the problem.

Jeff Robertson: 00:07:42

So just try.

Jeff Robertson: 00:07:43

And it, it allows you from that command and structure standpoint

Jeff Robertson: 00:07:46

to make sure you've got, we're heavy here where we need to be.

Jeff Robertson: 00:07:49

And then we just, we're, we're layering in the rest of those

Jeff Robertson: 00:07:51

personalities inside of there.

Jeff Robertson: 00:07:53

So you're right from a, uh, leadership and war and standpoint as well.

Mike Forrester: 00:07:58

it's just so amazing.

Mike Forrester: 00:07:59

It changes the dynamic of relationships around us.

Mike Forrester: 00:08:04

When we actually know how to reach out and talk.

Mike Forrester: 00:08:07

you talked about the professional side.

Mike Forrester: 00:08:09

Jeff, what about the personal side?

Mike Forrester: 00:08:11

What does that look like for you today?

Jeff Robertson: 00:08:13

Uh, dad, dad, husband, um, dad of, uh, 13, almost 13.

Jeff Robertson: 00:08:18

I don't want to date her quite yet, but about seven days away of being 13.

Jeff Robertson: 00:08:23

And then my son's 15.

Jeff Robertson: 00:08:25

Uh, both athletes, both.

Jeff Robertson: 00:08:26

Um.

Jeff Robertson: 00:08:28

In honors high performing in that, in their academics, high performing,

Jeff Robertson: 00:08:33

um, atmospheres on their team.

Jeff Robertson: 00:08:35

They both get a lot of playing time at their, on their school teams.

Jeff Robertson: 00:08:38

And, um, so working that balance and then, um, you know, being a husband

Jeff Robertson: 00:08:43

as well, still a son to my mom.

Jeff Robertson: 00:08:45

Right.

Jeff Robertson: 00:08:46

So just uh, um.

Jeff Robertson: 00:08:47

Um, right now if you were like, what's a day in your life look like is I am,

Jeff Robertson: 00:08:53

uh, you and I are gonna rap and then I'm going to watch my son play baseball,

Jeff Robertson: 00:08:57

pick up my daughter from softball.

Jeff Robertson: 00:08:58

So it's, we're on an athletic field.

Jeff Robertson: 00:09:01

Um, as soon as I clear up my day as I'm somewhere doing something sports wise.

Jeff Robertson: 00:09:06

We eight, uh, and, uh, uh, back coaching a little league.

Jeff Robertson: 00:09:09

Um, my daughter is playing a little league baseball, um, with some

Jeff Robertson: 00:09:13

friends with, with some dads that I work with, so that's pretty cool.

Jeff Robertson: 00:09:17

That's, uh, so, um, um, she never, she was so totally out of her comfort zone,

Jeff Robertson: 00:09:22

uh, pitching over hand versus under.

Jeff Robertson: 00:09:25

Um, and then, um, she, she's caught in a couple of our practices

Jeff Robertson: 00:09:29

and, um, has actually got, has made contact with the ball.

Jeff Robertson: 00:09:34

So I think she flew out, but decent contact.

Jeff Robertson: 00:09:36

So that's the other big project that I got working on is getting

Jeff Robertson: 00:09:39

her through boys little league.

Mike Forrester: 00:09:41

Nice.

Mike Forrester: 00:09:42

Yeah.

Mike Forrester: 00:09:42

Dude.

Mike Forrester: 00:09:43

Little league and being in, being involved and present.

Jeff Robertson: 00:09:46

Yeah.

Mike Forrester: 00:09:46

Dude, I, I think that's just amazing.

Jeff Robertson: 00:09:50

Thank you.

Jeff Robertson: 00:09:50

Yeah.

Jeff Robertson: 00:09:50

Big deal.

Jeff Robertson: 00:09:51

Big deal for your audience to understand it too.

Mike Forrester: 00:09:53

Yeah.

Jeff Robertson: 00:09:53

Um, figure that out.

Mike Forrester: 00:09:56

So like, when we look back, that isn't something

Mike Forrester: 00:10:01

that you grew up with, Jeff.

Mike Forrester: 00:10:03

So how did you, how did you learn that skill to show up

Mike Forrester: 00:10:10

and be present when you didn't?

Mike Forrester: 00:10:12

You know, like your mom's a single mom.

Mike Forrester: 00:10:14

Yeah.

Mike Forrester: 00:10:14

There's other men that are around, but how did you figure out how to

Mike Forrester: 00:10:18

be that present dad that so many of us were lacking and want so badly?

Mike Forrester: 00:10:23

I

Jeff Robertson: 00:10:24

think I took that example of everything that I didn't want,

Jeff Robertson: 00:10:28

everything I, I was able to go through and really, um, I remember the day me,

Jeff Robertson: 00:10:33

I was telling her about the other day.

Jeff Robertson: 00:10:34

Someone had asked me about it, a similar question.

Jeff Robertson: 00:10:37

And I remember the day when my wife was like, Hey, I'm pregnant, going, uh, yeah.

Jeff Robertson: 00:10:41

Uh, things get ready to change.

Jeff Robertson: 00:10:42

And I was like, whoa, wait a minute.

Jeff Robertson: 00:10:43

I don't know.

Jeff Robertson: 00:10:44

I don't know.

Jeff Robertson: 00:10:45

I don't wanna be a dad.

Jeff Robertson: 00:10:45

I don't.

Jeff Robertson: 00:10:46

There's no way that this guy right here with his upbringing and everything that

Jeff Robertson: 00:10:51

he has gone through it can, can parent.

Jeff Robertson: 00:10:55

I am just not able to do that.

Jeff Robertson: 00:10:57

It scared the freaking crap outta me.

Jeff Robertson: 00:10:59

And she told me, she told me on that thing, and I, and I remember these words

Jeff Robertson: 00:11:03

and I said, I don't want nobody to ever go through what I've had to go through.

Jeff Robertson: 00:11:07

And um, and she was like, they won't.

Jeff Robertson: 00:11:10

And just counting her comfort alone.

Jeff Robertson: 00:11:12

And then, um, I, I was fortunate enough in my world, and this is not everybody's,

Jeff Robertson: 00:11:17

but I was fortunate enough to, to have kids, um, when I was 35 and not 25.

Jeff Robertson: 00:11:24

I think that was super helpful.

Jeff Robertson: 00:11:26

Now, here's the other part.

Jeff Robertson: 00:11:27

I don't know what kids would've done to me at 35 or 25.

Jeff Robertson: 00:11:30

One of my friends is like, if you'd had Ken younger, you

Jeff Robertson: 00:11:32

probably wouldn't have you.

Jeff Robertson: 00:11:33

Probably your life would look very, very differently 'cause she would've.

Jeff Robertson: 00:11:36

Did what you're supposed to do.

Jeff Robertson: 00:11:38

So that, that's it.

Jeff Robertson: 00:11:39

As, as I think, you know, the biggest thing I would tell you is I, I knew

Jeff Robertson: 00:11:43

earlier on, um, that I, the things that I didn't wanna be as a dad, I didn't

Jeff Robertson: 00:11:51

want to be that yelling, argumentative, fighting, um, conflict all the time.

Jeff Robertson: 00:11:56

Um, caught between homes, uh, living here, living there, living here.

Jeff Robertson: 00:12:01

So I was, I was.

Jeff Robertson: 00:12:04

I was just trying to be, uh, not now listen, I mean, I want to anchor, this

Jeff Robertson: 00:12:07

is like, not all of it was bad, y'all.

Jeff Robertson: 00:12:10

You know what I mean?

Jeff Robertson: 00:12:11

But when you go back and look on it, on the grand scheme of

Jeff Robertson: 00:12:13

things, did I have happy moments?

Jeff Robertson: 00:12:15

Yeah, absolutely.

Jeff Robertson: 00:12:16

Um, I, I, I did, it wasn't like it was 24 hour seven, but there was, when

Jeff Robertson: 00:12:21

it, when it was on, it was on, and there was, back then there was no.

Jeff Robertson: 00:12:26

You know, you just didn't, it's not like you wouldn't, it's not, I didn't

Jeff Robertson: 00:12:29

get to have the conversations as a little kid that I get to have now.

Jeff Robertson: 00:12:32

So it's easier for me to kind of process it back to just being

Jeff Robertson: 00:12:35

what I didn't wanna be, brother.

Mike Forrester: 00:12:38

So what were the, the traits, you know, the, the way, the ways

Mike Forrester: 00:12:45

in which you wanted to show up, right?

Mike Forrester: 00:12:47

You said, I don't want these things.

Mike Forrester: 00:12:49

What was it that you were shooting for to say, Hey, this is.

Mike Forrester: 00:12:53

The type of dad that I do wanna be.

Jeff Robertson: 00:12:56

I, I, you know, from the, earlier on my, uh.

Jeff Robertson: 00:13:04

Initial experience was that young baby needed mom more than she needed me.

Jeff Robertson: 00:13:08

Right?

Jeff Robertson: 00:13:08

So just understanding, creating that balance with, um, with my wife and

Jeff Robertson: 00:13:14

then as he got a little bit older was there's those moments of first birthday

Jeff Robertson: 00:13:20

and I had friends that were still law enforcement friends or military that

Jeff Robertson: 00:13:23

don't get to experience these things.

Jeff Robertson: 00:13:24

So just trying to be where that I needed to be.

Jeff Robertson: 00:13:30

Um, we would, everything kind of gets planned around your kids and your

Jeff Robertson: 00:13:33

events and if, you know, going to the bar, hanging out with your buddies, I'm

Jeff Robertson: 00:13:37

like, they, they ain't got a playground.

Jeff Robertson: 00:13:39

I ain't, I'm, I'm, I'm, so that was kind like part of my thing was

Jeff Robertson: 00:13:43

to make sure that I was, um, I.

Jeff Robertson: 00:13:46

That I needed to be present.

Jeff Robertson: 00:13:48

I didn't.

Jeff Robertson: 00:13:48

Um, it was just me and my wife.

Jeff Robertson: 00:13:51

My wife's folks were, at the time were enrich, you know,

Jeff Robertson: 00:13:53

across the state from us.

Jeff Robertson: 00:13:54

And my mom.

Jeff Robertson: 00:13:55

Um, I just didn't, I wasn't, um, my mom has her own career.

Jeff Robertson: 00:14:00

She has her own things and we didn't have that.

Jeff Robertson: 00:14:03

Um.

Jeff Robertson: 00:14:04

Or you went to grandma's on Sunday and everybody helped take care

Jeff Robertson: 00:14:07

of the kid and it was she and I.

Jeff Robertson: 00:14:09

So, so we, we started off with that and, and that was, she helped me,

Jeff Robertson: 00:14:14

um, me and my mom then my mom has done an amazing job, but we both

Jeff Robertson: 00:14:20

were trying to figure out what.

Jeff Robertson: 00:14:22

This new life in our lives would look like and, and a little bit of ways she

Jeff Robertson: 00:14:27

wanted to step in and raise my son.

Jeff Robertson: 00:14:30

I feel like, like I was raised where other family members stepped in and raised and

Jeff Robertson: 00:14:35

she was going to play that same role.

Jeff Robertson: 00:14:36

My wife was like, nah, we ain't doing it like that.

Jeff Robertson: 00:14:38

She, so my wife.

Jeff Robertson: 00:14:40

Stepped in and helped me establish some boundaries early rain to where

Jeff Robertson: 00:14:45

it was like, Hey, this is not cool.

Jeff Robertson: 00:14:47

This, no, um, showing up unannounced is not cool.

Jeff Robertson: 00:14:50

Being, you know, when we have events just being 30 minutes, late's not cool.

Jeff Robertson: 00:14:55

So I had to, my wife just initially was like really showing me.

Jeff Robertson: 00:15:00

And then, man, when you don't have a dad, you start reading.

Jeff Robertson: 00:15:03

And I started listening to podcasts and reading and finding.

Jeff Robertson: 00:15:07

Experts and talking to, um, I had, uh, grew up around positive, uh, male

Jeff Robertson: 00:15:13

role models and talking to everyone like, Hey, what does this look like?

Jeff Robertson: 00:15:16

What does this look like?

Jeff Robertson: 00:15:17

And when do you do this?

Jeff Robertson: 00:15:18

And, um, to just like really seeking as much advice as I could too.

Jeff Robertson: 00:15:22

Dude, that's, I think that's probably when you don't have.

Jeff Robertson: 00:15:28

You know, not knowing your dad, one of the things I could tell you is you don't,

Jeff Robertson: 00:15:30

you don't, you don't have that bad habit.

Jeff Robertson: 00:15:32

You don't have that negative experience.

Jeff Robertson: 00:15:34

You just have a, a void there, and that's okay.

Jeff Robertson: 00:15:36

It's up to you to fill that void.

Jeff Robertson: 00:15:38

You know, I had every opportunity to go fill that with negative, um.

Jeff Robertson: 00:15:43

Behaviors and reckless behaviors and all that, that negative void, I could

Jeff Robertson: 00:15:46

put whatever influence I wanted in there and I was fortunate enough that

Jeff Robertson: 00:15:50

it was, that I was able to find those positive influences that helped me.

Jeff Robertson: 00:15:53

And then, man, some of it's instinct.

Jeff Robertson: 00:15:56

Your kids, man, there's a point in time, Mike, when my kids, my, my kids raised me.

Jeff Robertson: 00:16:01

Um, be it just understanding basic leadership and all those things

Jeff Robertson: 00:16:05

is some of your, some of your best influences come from bottom up.

Jeff Robertson: 00:16:09

And man, once I figured that out with him of like.

Jeff Robertson: 00:16:12

He's his own person.

Jeff Robertson: 00:16:14

Mike.

Jeff Robertson: 00:16:14

He, he, he's his own person.

Jeff Robertson: 00:16:17

He, he's not, uh, asked like he, we go, we do a lot of NASCAR racing

Jeff Robertson: 00:16:21

earlier on we did because of our time.

Jeff Robertson: 00:16:23

And I'd be like, why do you like racing?

Jeff Robertson: 00:16:25

He goes, 'cause you do dad.

Jeff Robertson: 00:16:26

I wanna do what you do.

Jeff Robertson: 00:16:27

And then he, and then he came home with baseball and he's

Jeff Robertson: 00:16:29

like, I wanna play baseball.

Jeff Robertson: 00:16:30

And I'm like, what?

Jeff Robertson: 00:16:31

And he's so, so as he got just a, a little bit older, his wants and

Jeff Robertson: 00:16:35

needs out shelled mine, I didn't, I let him dictate even to this day,

Jeff Robertson: 00:16:40

Hey, what do you wanna go work on?

Jeff Robertson: 00:16:41

What do you wanna do?

Jeff Robertson: 00:16:41

Just so I hold him accountable.

Jeff Robertson: 00:16:44

I'll, I'll tell you a little bit about that, but as we get into it,

Jeff Robertson: 00:16:47

but I think, I think it's, it's a very long-winded response to say, Hey man, I

Jeff Robertson: 00:16:53

was figuring it out as I, uh, was going.

Jeff Robertson: 00:16:56

I was fortunate enough to have a good woman in my life that was drama free.

Jeff Robertson: 00:16:59

No, uh, um, no issues with family on her side.

Jeff Robertson: 00:17:03

Right?

Jeff Robertson: 00:17:04

Just, they were just good people.

Jeff Robertson: 00:17:05

No distractions, no.

Jeff Robertson: 00:17:07

Um, you know, no arguing, no fighting.

Jeff Robertson: 00:17:10

All those things.

Jeff Robertson: 00:17:11

And then good positive people seeking help.

Jeff Robertson: 00:17:15

Uh, those were probably the biggest keys.

Mike Forrester: 00:17:18

Mm-hmm.

Mike Forrester: 00:17:19

Yeah, those are powerful.

Mike Forrester: 00:17:21

So.

Mike Forrester: 00:17:22

You're going through it.

Mike Forrester: 00:17:23

It's a new skill, Jeff.

Mike Forrester: 00:17:24

I mean like, like you said, for you it was a void.

Mike Forrester: 00:17:29

For some guys it's undoing, right?

Mike Forrester: 00:17:33

You've had that, that present

Mike Forrester: 00:17:37

negative example, we'll say an unhealthy example.

Mike Forrester: 00:17:40

When you're learning a new skill, how do you.

Mike Forrester: 00:17:46

How do you, one, give yourself grace to say like, Hey, this is new territory.

Mike Forrester: 00:17:51

I'm doing the best I can, but then how do you build that resilience

Mike Forrester: 00:17:56

to keep at it Instead of going, dude, I tried Jeff, it didn't work.

Mike Forrester: 00:18:01

I'm done.

Mike Forrester: 00:18:03

How do, how do we build those two things and so we don't short circuit

Mike Forrester: 00:18:08

the growth that we're pursuing?

Jeff Robertson: 00:18:10

I think.

Jeff Robertson: 00:18:14

There's a part of my story where I'm in, uh, um, right before my son's born, I

Jeff Robertson: 00:18:19

was in law enforcement and I end up, uh, DUI, losing my job, losing my identity.

Jeff Robertson: 00:18:25

I, all I had done was public safety work, so I. And that was a two

Jeff Robertson: 00:18:30

year difference between me losing my career and him coming along.

Jeff Robertson: 00:18:34

So I had had this very life defining moment of setback as well.

Jeff Robertson: 00:18:40

So my mindset wasn't, I'm going to live forever.

Jeff Robertson: 00:18:44

I'm going to, you know, I'm unstoppable and, uh, all of these different things.

Jeff Robertson: 00:18:48

And it really, it, it.

Jeff Robertson: 00:18:50

That moment alone, I still go back to it because it's such a defining moment

Jeff Robertson: 00:18:55

in my life of like I was headed down this path of, you know, retirement that,

Jeff Robertson: 00:19:00

that, you know, 25, 30 year service at this place and I was going to, my career

Jeff Robertson: 00:19:05

was gonna be built there and, and all these things, and then it wasn't, and

Jeff Robertson: 00:19:08

I didn't know how to do anything else.

Jeff Robertson: 00:19:09

So, so that setback alone.

Jeff Robertson: 00:19:12

Changes your perspective, it changes how you process information.

Jeff Robertson: 00:19:16

Um, I think we, we jokingly talked about earlier is that it humbled me and kind

Jeff Robertson: 00:19:21

of let, let me set my jerk ego aside.

Jeff Robertson: 00:19:24

Um, and, and it, it poured that out of me and in a lot of

Jeff Robertson: 00:19:29

positive ways I wasn't, um, um.

Jeff Robertson: 00:19:33

Um, I don't think I was harsh in, in, um, some of my things, but

Jeff Robertson: 00:19:37

I was just a knucklehead, right?

Jeff Robertson: 00:19:39

I was, I had a hard time adulting, um, reckless behavior

Jeff Robertson: 00:19:43

is what I like to call it, bike.

Jeff Robertson: 00:19:45

But it, so here's, here's what I, you come out of that.

Jeff Robertson: 00:19:49

When you insert the, when you insert a kid into it, so let's use your, you

Jeff Robertson: 00:19:53

know, your, your children as an example is, there's a lot riding on that.

Jeff Robertson: 00:19:57

And you know, I knew that I had this opportunity that

Jeff Robertson: 00:20:00

I can, if I just tweak me.

Jeff Robertson: 00:20:04

I can figure out, I knew exactly what I didn't wanna pass on, and if I could go

Jeff Robertson: 00:20:09

start to finding knowledge to pass on what I needed to or what I was lacking, that

Jeff Robertson: 00:20:16

was probably the one of the bigger turning moments for me going and raising my son.

Jeff Robertson: 00:20:22

For the re, for, for going into that work?

Jeff Robertson: 00:20:25

Nobody would hire me initially.

Jeff Robertson: 00:20:27

No, no one.

Jeff Robertson: 00:20:29

I was, uh, I didn't know how to interview.

Jeff Robertson: 00:20:31

I, I was kicking the can, my self-worth was out the window.

Jeff Robertson: 00:20:35

And so, you know, companies I probably could get hired at today, um, um, would,

Jeff Robertson: 00:20:40

you know, would pa or passing on me.

Jeff Robertson: 00:20:42

And I finally, uh, I landed this point, I got some advice and

Jeff Robertson: 00:20:45

they were like, Hey, this is.

Jeff Robertson: 00:20:46

Law enforcement, and this is how that skill applies.

Jeff Robertson: 00:20:48

So if you're in this situation to where you've worked in this one job

Jeff Robertson: 00:20:52

for longevity and all you know is those terms and all those is sometimes

Jeff Robertson: 00:20:57

getting, I will tell you this is finding someone who can help you

Jeff Robertson: 00:21:01

find what you do now and bridge into.

Jeff Robertson: 00:21:04

The working world outside of there, and it can be very broad, like communication.

Jeff Robertson: 00:21:08

Alright?

Jeff Robertson: 00:21:09

You had the ability to talk to someone who was trying to off themself.

Jeff Robertson: 00:21:13

You would sit down and talk with them on their worst day and make 'em feel better.

Jeff Robertson: 00:21:17

This is what that looks like.

Jeff Robertson: 00:21:19

And over here you may in, in this, you know, situation where you're,

Jeff Robertson: 00:21:24

you know, in a high stakes type environment, that's negotiation, right?

Jeff Robertson: 00:21:28

So it's.

Jeff Robertson: 00:21:30

Learning those, uh, how those skills go back and forth.

Jeff Robertson: 00:21:32

And something I worked on here lately is, and my kids taught me this one, uh, in

Jeff Robertson: 00:21:38

their athletics, was, is best, is, is.

Jeff Robertson: 00:21:42

And I, I came up with an acronym.

Jeff Robertson: 00:21:43

It's, be Honest With Yourself, be.

Jeff Robertson: 00:21:47

E is effort in every area.

Jeff Robertson: 00:21:50

S is show up when it's hard and t is take responsibility.

Jeff Robertson: 00:21:54

And what that, what it all comes from is just, I've been telling them

Jeff Robertson: 00:21:57

since they were little kids, like, this is what your best looks like.

Jeff Robertson: 00:22:00

It's straight A's.

Jeff Robertson: 00:22:01

It's, it's, it's two hits.

Jeff Robertson: 00:22:03

It's this, it's show up for practice, it's all these, and I would just

Jeff Robertson: 00:22:06

say, this is what it looks like.

Jeff Robertson: 00:22:07

And finally the other day, man, I was like.

Jeff Robertson: 00:22:10

Y'all gotta define what your best is.

Jeff Robertson: 00:22:12

I can tell you what my best, what I think it should look like, and I

Jeff Robertson: 00:22:15

can tell you what mine looks like, but mine's different from yours.

Jeff Robertson: 00:22:18

'cause I'm not on, on a ball field, I'm not in a classroom.

Jeff Robertson: 00:22:21

So I, I, I came up with that and, um.

Jeff Robertson: 00:22:25

So it has it's three phases and I have an adult version that I'm,

Jeff Robertson: 00:22:28

I'm getting ready to do as well.

Jeff Robertson: 00:22:29

I'll, I'll make sure you get it.

Jeff Robertson: 00:22:30

That that's, it's stuff that's in my head.

Jeff Robertson: 00:22:32

It doesn't, I'm not, there's no charge for this.

Jeff Robertson: 00:22:34

It's just something that I'm putting up.

Jeff Robertson: 00:22:36

Like I think this will help.

Jeff Robertson: 00:22:37

Um, 'cause my kids are like, all right, this is okay.

Jeff Robertson: 00:22:40

And so they help me kind of put the rest of it together.

Jeff Robertson: 00:22:43

But, um, there for them it is a, at home, alright, my best at home.

Jeff Robertson: 00:22:48

So they start with their why my best at home looks like this.

Jeff Robertson: 00:22:52

And they write it out like.

Jeff Robertson: 00:22:54

Unscripted and then, uh, my best academically looks like this.

Jeff Robertson: 00:22:59

And I'm like, listen, y'all, if you want CS and Ds, I'm not going.

Jeff Robertson: 00:23:02

This is your best.

Jeff Robertson: 00:23:04

It is not mine.

Jeff Robertson: 00:23:04

If you don't want to go to to a a a A school or if you just wanna go to com, if

Jeff Robertson: 00:23:09

you wanna go get a job, I, it's your best.

Jeff Robertson: 00:23:12

I'm just gonna hold you accountable.

Jeff Robertson: 00:23:13

And then so you've got home.

Jeff Robertson: 00:23:15

Academics send in athletically.

Jeff Robertson: 00:23:18

What does your best look like?

Jeff Robertson: 00:23:19

Athletically goes through and at the, uh, like page four, there's some

Jeff Robertson: 00:23:22

affirmations, like, I understand this is what it, I'm, I'm, I'm all these things.

Jeff Robertson: 00:23:27

Ask them like some affirming questions.

Jeff Robertson: 00:23:30

And then on the back there's a signature page and another part

Jeff Robertson: 00:23:33

that says, when I'm un, when I'm not doing my best, I will remember.

Jeff Robertson: 00:23:37

And there's some where they write down those, that little nugget.

Jeff Robertson: 00:23:41

I, I have told clients, this is what your best is.

Jeff Robertson: 00:23:45

We're gonna do this, da, da, da.

Jeff Robertson: 00:23:46

I'm like, Hey, a minute.

Jeff Robertson: 00:23:47

I can't tell you what your best is.

Jeff Robertson: 00:23:49

You gotta figure that out.

Jeff Robertson: 00:23:50

So for that person, when you get into that thing, if you can focus

Jeff Robertson: 00:23:54

on that best of showing up, right.

Jeff Robertson: 00:23:57

I'm going, I'm, I'm, I didn't know how to, um.

Jeff Robertson: 00:24:01

I didn't, I didn't think I knew how to sell.

Jeff Robertson: 00:24:04

I had phone skills.

Jeff Robertson: 00:24:05

Right.

Jeff Robertson: 00:24:05

So you working a phone or whatever, but I, I'm trying to qualify,

Jeff Robertson: 00:24:07

uh, people over the telephone.

Jeff Robertson: 00:24:10

Um, computer skills were, were way above average, but I didn't, um, now

Jeff Robertson: 00:24:15

I, now I, I learned, I taught myself digital marketing there, so very just.

Jeff Robertson: 00:24:20

Having to figure out.

Jeff Robertson: 00:24:22

And it, and basically what it was, Mike, was, I, I, I felt

Jeff Robertson: 00:24:26

internally I had no more options.

Jeff Robertson: 00:24:29

Like, I'm like, this has gotta work for me because I have, no one's hired me, no one.

Jeff Robertson: 00:24:33

And this guy has taken a chance on me.

Jeff Robertson: 00:24:36

I know him, he knows my family, and there's a little bit, I'm like,

Jeff Robertson: 00:24:38

eh, this is kind of meant to be.

Jeff Robertson: 00:24:40

Um, I'm going.

Jeff Robertson: 00:24:41

And I had, I had gotten another job the exact same day he offered

Jeff Robertson: 00:24:45

me his, so I worked both of them for, until my son was born.

Jeff Robertson: 00:24:49

Um.

Jeff Robertson: 00:24:50

So I think when you look at that is if you can follow that acronym of

Jeff Robertson: 00:24:54

best be Honest effort in every area.

Jeff Robertson: 00:24:56

Show up when it's hard to take responsibility.

Jeff Robertson: 00:24:59

That will give you that base layer of being able to, that's today and then

Jeff Robertson: 00:25:04

it, then it sets us up for tomorrow.

Jeff Robertson: 00:25:06

It sets us up for the next day.

Jeff Robertson: 00:25:08

Once you get some, once you start finding that comfort in that is then

Jeff Robertson: 00:25:11

I think you're able to take that deep breath and do an assessment of, okay,

Jeff Robertson: 00:25:15

is this where I really want to be?

Jeff Robertson: 00:25:17

I've got, I've got money 'cause money, once money starts coming back in, I

Jeff Robertson: 00:25:20

didn't have any money coming in and I was, um, I was getting, I was in

Jeff Robertson: 00:25:24

getting ready to be a bad situation.

Jeff Robertson: 00:25:26

'cause mom's like, uh, you know, my mom with my landlord, she's

Jeff Robertson: 00:25:29

like, Hey, this, this is a payment.

Jeff Robertson: 00:25:30

You paid the payment so you gotta make your rent or we gotta figure this out.

Jeff Robertson: 00:25:34

Um.

Jeff Robertson: 00:25:35

So I was getting into, once money came in, some of the anxiety

Jeff Robertson: 00:25:40

of not having money went away.

Jeff Robertson: 00:25:42

Like it, it, it started to go away.

Jeff Robertson: 00:25:43

And I was able to assess like, all right, I'm in a good spot here.

Jeff Robertson: 00:25:47

Um, I got, I got food, shelter, water, all those things are, are good.

Jeff Robertson: 00:25:51

I can get back and forth to work.

Jeff Robertson: 00:25:52

So it allows you to breathe.

Jeff Robertson: 00:25:54

Once you can breathe a little bit, then you can do a better assessment of kinda

Jeff Robertson: 00:25:58

shoring yourself up and, and then, then you can decide like, Hey, is this good?

Jeff Robertson: 00:26:02

I ended up being there for 10 years.

Jeff Robertson: 00:26:03

I mean, it was.

Mike Forrester: 00:26:04

Hmm.

Jeff Robertson: 00:26:05

Um, me, me and the owner had really good, uh, oh.

Jeff Robertson: 00:26:08

He was a good communicator on that part.

Jeff Robertson: 00:26:10

He's like, you have a, you have a career here.

Jeff Robertson: 00:26:12

You, I'm not, you're, you will be fine.

Jeff Robertson: 00:26:14

He, so as my son was coming along, like he gave me that, um, he was like,

Jeff Robertson: 00:26:19

if me, it's got to be me and you.

Jeff Robertson: 00:26:21

He said, everybody else will be gone.

Jeff Robertson: 00:26:23

Because we were building, we were working on some, a big growth plan.

Jeff Robertson: 00:26:27

Um, and this all happens during the housing bubble too, right.

Jeff Robertson: 00:26:30

So it's, it's like all these uncertainties in the world and.

Jeff Robertson: 00:26:33

So think, hope.

Jeff Robertson: 00:26:35

Hopefully that's something that would help Mike.

Mike Forrester: 00:26:37

Yeah, yeah.

Mike Forrester: 00:26:39

Definitely.

Mike Forrester: 00:26:39

On, on, you know, what we can do.

Mike Forrester: 00:26:43

Um, and that just because you face the adversity doesn't

Mike Forrester: 00:26:47

mean the adversity has won.

Mike Forrester: 00:26:49

Right.

Mike Forrester: 00:26:49

There's different ways to address it.

Mike Forrester: 00:26:52

Stand up, and it's not about, you know, doing a hundred percent on every test.

Mike Forrester: 00:26:58

It's like you talked about doing your best.

Mike Forrester: 00:27:02

Go back a bit here, Jeff.

Jeff Robertson: 00:27:04

Yeah.

Mike Forrester: 00:27:05

So you got into, you know, like safety in law enforcement

Mike Forrester: 00:27:10

because of some of the stuff you had gone through in your childhood.

Mike Forrester: 00:27:14

Can you kind of paint some of the challenges that you faced that now?

Mike Forrester: 00:27:21

Or what you're able to, you know, use to empathize and understand with,

Mike Forrester: 00:27:26

you know, other clients that are, are facing these challenges or, you

Mike Forrester: 00:27:30

know, subconsciously they're impacting their decisions in both personal and

Mike Forrester: 00:27:35

professional areas of their life.

Mike Forrester: 00:27:37

Can you walk us through some of the stuff you, you faced and overcame?

Jeff Robertson: 00:27:41

my grandfather, you know, he was, uh, he was, he.

Jeff Robertson: 00:27:46

He had reckless behaviors, especially when he drank and destructive behaviors.

Jeff Robertson: 00:27:50

He would just do crazy things.

Jeff Robertson: 00:27:52

Um, he was, uh, we always labeled him as an alcoholic, but even the

Jeff Robertson: 00:27:57

stuff that carried out with me, it wasn't really an alcoholic.

Jeff Robertson: 00:28:00

He just did dumb crap when he was drinking.

Jeff Robertson: 00:28:02

Like he was just, he, you know, um, that was his, uh,

Jeff Robertson: 00:28:06

his fuse and he would just do.

Jeff Robertson: 00:28:09

He got a DUI on a tractor.

Jeff Robertson: 00:28:10

I've You know, he, he, we lived out in a rural, in a rural area and, and, uh, he,

Jeff Robertson: 00:28:14

he gets, uh, he got a, uh, they had took his driver's license 'cause he had gotten

Jeff Robertson: 00:28:18

arrested for DUI driving and he couldn't, he couldn't operate a motor vehicle,

Jeff Robertson: 00:28:22

but there's no law and farm equipment.

Jeff Robertson: 00:28:24

And he could, he could operate this.

Jeff Robertson: 00:28:26

He, he, uh, he worked the system.

Jeff Robertson: 00:28:28

He got, he got arrested for DUI.

Jeff Robertson: 00:28:30

So, and then there's, you know, he would get violent.

Jeff Robertson: 00:28:33

Um.

Jeff Robertson: 00:28:34

With different family members or whatever.

Jeff Robertson: 00:28:35

So the police was at our house in our neighborhood.

Jeff Robertson: 00:28:38

Uh, my mom ended up running the country store there, kind of the family store.

Jeff Robertson: 00:28:42

And so there was always, the police was always in and around, either for

Jeff Robertson: 00:28:45

him or something going on at the store.

Jeff Robertson: 00:28:47

So, and when the cops are in your life, you're either, you got two options.

Jeff Robertson: 00:28:52

You're either going to be a, be a police officer, you're gonna be a criminal.

Jeff Robertson: 00:28:54

You, there's two paths that you can take there.

Jeff Robertson: 00:28:58

And they were always, um.

Jeff Robertson: 00:29:00

You know, like the EMS guys when they would show up like the lights and the

Jeff Robertson: 00:29:03

sirens and, and um, all those things that I was always kind of drawn to it

Jeff Robertson: 00:29:08

because it was chaotic and in my life they was always showing up, fixing

Jeff Robertson: 00:29:12

problems and I. And I saw it as an opportunity that I could, I could be on

Jeff Robertson: 00:29:20

the front side of fixing our problems, you know, like I could, I could go help

Jeff Robertson: 00:29:25

people that was experiencing what I was.

Jeff Robertson: 00:29:27

And, and, uh, I, I had, uh, in 80, it was like in sixth grade or so,

Jeff Robertson: 00:29:33

I had told my, uh, Miami vices out.

Jeff Robertson: 00:29:36

I had told my.

Jeff Robertson: 00:29:37

Sixth grade teacher, she's like, whatcha you gonna do this career day?

Jeff Robertson: 00:29:39

And I'm like, I'm gonna be undercover cop someday.

Jeff Robertson: 00:29:41

And she, the next day she brought me an article and it's like,

Jeff Robertson: 00:29:43

Hey look, this right here just happened in the city next to us.

Jeff Robertson: 00:29:46

And some of, I ended up going and working with some of those

Jeff Robertson: 00:29:49

guys that was in that article.

Jeff Robertson: 00:29:52

Um.

Jeff Robertson: 00:29:52

So I think what, what just my life growing up is it instilled this, uh, I wanted to

Jeff Robertson: 00:29:57

get into that work because they were the people that was always coming to help me.

Jeff Robertson: 00:30:01

And I was like, I, and I enjoyed the chaos.

Jeff Robertson: 00:30:04

I enjoyed the, I'm like, if I'm going to live in this, I can

Jeff Robertson: 00:30:07

get a career out of it, right?

Jeff Robertson: 00:30:09

Um, we make the best we'd, we'd make the best, uh, helpers because we know what,

Jeff Robertson: 00:30:13

what, uh, we're help needs to be given.

Jeff Robertson: 00:30:15

So.

Jeff Robertson: 00:30:17

Um, I had, I had found my grandmother committed suicide in, in 86, around

Jeff Robertson: 00:30:23

that same time of sixth grade.

Jeff Robertson: 00:30:25

So that was a event.

Jeff Robertson: 00:30:27

My, my, uh, grandfather had, uh, he, he had been pretty, he beat up my

Jeff Robertson: 00:30:31

mom, you know, set a car on fire and shooting at her in different stuff.

Jeff Robertson: 00:30:35

So all that kind of compounded in that year and, um, shortly thereafter.

Jeff Robertson: 00:30:40

I end up meeting a friend and in middle school and he had a rescue squad jacket.

Jeff Robertson: 00:30:44

And I'm like, I wanna do that.

Jeff Robertson: 00:30:45

How do you do that?

Jeff Robertson: 00:30:46

And my friend Pat, he and I are best of friends today.

Jeff Robertson: 00:30:50

He was like, Hey, I'll show you how.

Jeff Robertson: 00:30:51

And when we got into high school, I started in the EMS when I was 15.

Jeff Robertson: 00:30:55

I was an EMT as 15 years old.

Jeff Robertson: 00:30:58

And then, um, so.

Jeff Robertson: 00:31:00

Tell y'all that, to tell you this is, is everything started

Jeff Robertson: 00:31:04

and it continued chaotic.

Jeff Robertson: 00:31:06

Um, my brain never had time.

Jeff Robertson: 00:31:09

When I, when I would, when my brain, when it was, it was always hard

Jeff Robertson: 00:31:12

for me to go to sleep at night.

Jeff Robertson: 00:31:14

Uh, 'cause I didn't like to shut my brain out.

Jeff Robertson: 00:31:16

'cause that's when, that's when the real ths started.

Jeff Robertson: 00:31:18

Right?

Jeff Robertson: 00:31:18

That's when I was trying to calm down.

Jeff Robertson: 00:31:20

That's when I thought about a lot of the, the craziness and

Jeff Robertson: 00:31:23

the more I was involved in, um.

Jeff Robertson: 00:31:26

Just those, uh, those emergency scenes and emergency moments,

Jeff Robertson: 00:31:30

and it kept me out of the time.

Jeff Robertson: 00:31:32

One of the, um, I was, I was at my aunt's house.

Jeff Robertson: 00:31:35

She passed away my grandfather after we had moved back to town,

Jeff Robertson: 00:31:40

and I am, I'm, I'm either, I'm close to being Rescue Squad Jeff.

Jeff Robertson: 00:31:44

It's right around that age, but he had shot my aunt.

Jeff Robertson: 00:31:48

I had went to the house and um, I was in there the other day reliving it with my

Jeff Robertson: 00:31:53

wife and my mom and them of where he had, he had, um, he had did a, a shot inside

Jeff Robertson: 00:32:00

the house and my uncle had covered it with a piece of tape and I'm like, y'all

Jeff Robertson: 00:32:03

know what that piece of tape here for?

Jeff Robertson: 00:32:04

And they're like, no.

Jeff Robertson: 00:32:05

I go, oh, lemme tell you the story.

Jeff Robertson: 00:32:06

So, um.

Jeff Robertson: 00:32:08

Just, you know, so that was a family side.

Jeff Robertson: 00:32:10

And then I go into, um, at 18 I'm into, I'm either riding an ambulance,

Jeff Robertson: 00:32:16

I'm working in a 9 1 1 center.

Jeff Robertson: 00:32:18

I'm working as a tech in the emergency room.

Jeff Robertson: 00:32:19

So, um, I had three, um, very, very, um.

Jeff Robertson: 00:32:29

Um, high responsibility jobs that I absolutely enjoyed, but it, again, I

Jeff Robertson: 00:32:34

would get off at one, go to the other and I would sleep about four hours.

Jeff Robertson: 00:32:38

Um, Paul Conway was reminded me of that yesterday and he's

Jeff Robertson: 00:32:42

like, you didn't sleep a lot.

Jeff Robertson: 00:32:43

That was your part of your problem was you didn't sleep a lot.

Jeff Robertson: 00:32:46

And I was like, ah, you got me there.

Jeff Robertson: 00:32:48

But, so that was kindly and it, it, it me all the way up into, um.

Jeff Robertson: 00:32:54

From, from 9 1 1 center there about five years.

Jeff Robertson: 00:32:57

And then I worked as patrol for two years and then I'd go to a

Jeff Robertson: 00:32:59

task force and do undercover plain clothes, work for about seven.

Jeff Robertson: 00:33:04

Um, and that's where it ended for me was I was, I was arrested.

Jeff Robertson: 00:33:07

I, I was, I was spiraling outta control, Mike.

Jeff Robertson: 00:33:11

And, um, I had, I was, I was.

Jeff Robertson: 00:33:16

Beating my, I just couldn't, yeah.

Jeff Robertson: 00:33:18

It was, it was, life's trying to tell me to change and I was, I was, uh, I

Jeff Robertson: 00:33:21

was too stubborn, too thick headed.

Jeff Robertson: 00:33:23

Could not get outta my own way.

Jeff Robertson: 00:33:25

Um.

Jeff Robertson: 00:33:27

Life came along and changed it for me.

Jeff Robertson: 00:33:28

I had a bunch of negatives that was going on, and I was like, I need to change it.

Jeff Robertson: 00:33:31

I was like, no, if you, if you, if you change, then everybody's

Jeff Robertson: 00:33:35

going to think that you are wrong.

Jeff Robertson: 00:33:36

You don't throw in the towel because this is your opportunity.

Jeff Robertson: 00:33:40

And I was fighting the wrong battle in my head.

Jeff Robertson: 00:33:43

Um, I'm like, and that could have been easy for me just to say,

Jeff Robertson: 00:33:45

Hey, youngest, screw yourself.

Jeff Robertson: 00:33:47

I'm done.

Jeff Robertson: 00:33:47

And, um, I didn't, and so anyway, it, it, um, I lost my career.

Jeff Robertson: 00:33:52

And lost my identity, everything.

Jeff Robertson: 00:33:54

'cause that's all I knew how to do, man.

Jeff Robertson: 00:33:56

So that was the tough part.

Mike Forrester: 00:33:58

Yeah.

Mike Forrester: 00:33:59

Sometimes it's when those things come along and it's like the identities,

Mike Forrester: 00:34:03

you know, swished away, just removed.

Mike Forrester: 00:34:06

It's like, it seems to be the time when you can stand up and

Mike Forrester: 00:34:11

reforge and figure out, hey, how, what's gonna be my identity?

Mike Forrester: 00:34:16

How am I going to.

Mike Forrester: 00:34:19

You know, rise above this.

Mike Forrester: 00:34:21

And that kind of brings me into like, you know, you're coaching

Mike Forrester: 00:34:25

on Resiliences is one of the, the big threads through everything.

Mike Forrester: 00:34:29

You know, helping, helping people to see how they can be resilient

Mike Forrester: 00:34:34

and have that mental toughness.

Jeff Robertson: 00:34:36

Yep.

Jeff Robertson: 00:34:36

As hard as it was to go through it, to deal with it,

Jeff Robertson: 00:34:39

because I let a community down.

Jeff Robertson: 00:34:41

I let my friends down, I let, I let some, some of the community leaders who believed

Jeff Robertson: 00:34:46

in me, and, um, I let a lot of people down and, and I was kicking the can.

Jeff Robertson: 00:34:51

It was tough, but what I didn't realize, man was.

Jeff Robertson: 00:34:54

When, that's when my life, that was just a piece, that was just a puzzle piece.

Jeff Robertson: 00:34:58

It was a long puzzle piece, but it was just, it was just

Jeff Robertson: 00:35:01

a puzzle piece in my life.

Jeff Robertson: 00:35:03

And, and here's what I'll tell you is that trooper man, um, I, I had to go to court.

Jeff Robertson: 00:35:08

Um, I had, I stood up in court and told him how sorry I was

Jeff Robertson: 00:35:11

for putting him in my situation.

Jeff Robertson: 00:35:13

I did not mean to cause him any grief and apologize to the judge and my

Jeff Robertson: 00:35:18

mom and everybody that was in that room because, uh, you know, I knew,

Jeff Robertson: 00:35:22

uh, that I had made them all have to.

Jeff Robertson: 00:35:24

Make hard decisions and, and, um, you know, he, he and I, he ended up

Jeff Robertson: 00:35:30

passing away and I go into fitness and own a gym, and I'm chugging away.

Jeff Robertson: 00:35:36

And his son ends up coming into my life and, uh, his wife's working out.

Jeff Robertson: 00:35:42

My, the trooper's son is working out at my gym, and we didn't know this

Jeff Robertson: 00:35:45

until he's, he asked me one day.

Jeff Robertson: 00:35:48

Um, he was like, he's like, Hey, um, thank, and he, he had come to me and

Jeff Robertson: 00:35:52

he really, he had thanked me for the impact that I had made on his wife.

Jeff Robertson: 00:35:57

I was like, you know, I'm like, yeah, man.

Jeff Robertson: 00:35:59

It's, it's kinda like you hear a lot of times it's like, Hey, thank

Jeff Robertson: 00:36:01

you for all you do as a coach.

Jeff Robertson: 00:36:03

Your gym is, is really.

Jeff Robertson: 00:36:05

It gave us our mental health back, our stress.

Jeff Robertson: 00:36:07

So it was a conversation like that where he was like, just really

Jeff Robertson: 00:36:10

thankful and grateful for, for us and what we'd done and how much

Jeff Robertson: 00:36:14

his, his wife enjoyed coming there.

Jeff Robertson: 00:36:16

And like, you know, Hey, you made a difference in our life

Jeff Robertson: 00:36:18

because our marriage is better because of you type thing, right?

Mike Forrester: 00:36:22

Mm-hmm.

Jeff Robertson: 00:36:22

And we were sitting eating dinner and he goes, uh, he goes, Hey, I

Jeff Robertson: 00:36:25

heard you used to be a police officer.

Jeff Robertson: 00:36:27

And I'm like, yeah.

Jeff Robertson: 00:36:27

And he goes, my dad's a police officer.

Jeff Robertson: 00:36:29

I'm like, really?

Jeff Robertson: 00:36:30

And he's like, like, what's his name?

Jeff Robertson: 00:36:31

He is like.

Jeff Robertson: 00:36:32

Trooper Malcolm Austin and mm-hmm.

Jeff Robertson: 00:36:36

Um, manic kit.

Jeff Robertson: 00:36:37

It's cold, chills and, and everything bad, you know?

Jeff Robertson: 00:36:40

Um, I was telling someone yesterday, you know, in, in, in life, in, in,

Jeff Robertson: 00:36:45

in, in service work, in public safety, I always wanna help one person.

Jeff Robertson: 00:36:49

I. Just wanna help one person.

Jeff Robertson: 00:36:50

If I can help one person.

Jeff Robertson: 00:36:51

You'll hear law enforcement, you'll hear different counselors, you'll hear

Jeff Robertson: 00:36:54

a lot of people say, like, my message can help one person, dude, lemme

Jeff Robertson: 00:36:58

tell you what, I was that one person.

Jeff Robertson: 00:37:00

Um, and, and that one, when I, when he told me that that was a,

Jeff Robertson: 00:37:06

going from all that hell, I put myself through and then here I am.

Jeff Robertson: 00:37:11

Um.

Jeff Robertson: 00:37:12

That many years later, you're talking about 12 years later or so, having

Jeff Robertson: 00:37:16

this amazing conversation with someone, the worst moment in my life became

Jeff Robertson: 00:37:20

one of the absolute best, and knowing that I had made a difference in his,

Jeff Robertson: 00:37:26

um, in his life and the impacted him and his life, it, it's hard not to.

Jeff Robertson: 00:37:32

It's, it's, it's an easy conver conversation for me to look at people and

Jeff Robertson: 00:37:36

go, Hey, it's all, it's gonna be okay.

Jeff Robertson: 00:37:37

You where you're supposed to be.

Jeff Robertson: 00:37:39

You're doing what you're supposed to be.

Jeff Robertson: 00:37:40

You're going, you're, you're impacting who you're supposed to impact.

Jeff Robertson: 00:37:44

And, and so for your audience that is struggling, if you're down, you're

Jeff Robertson: 00:37:47

out or whatever, man, lemme tell you what, you're, you're not falling apart.

Jeff Robertson: 00:37:52

You're actually coming together and you're, you're not.

Jeff Robertson: 00:37:56

You're not setting back.

Jeff Robertson: 00:37:58

And, and this is kind of the example I use when I speak, is I got a puzzle.

Jeff Robertson: 00:38:02

And, you know, our puzzle comes together in many ways from some

Jeff Robertson: 00:38:05

millions of pieces on this puzzle.

Jeff Robertson: 00:38:07

And it looks like, and it doesn't have a picture on the box.

Jeff Robertson: 00:38:10

That's the other cool part about our life's puzzle is you got, you got

Jeff Robertson: 00:38:13

this box that has a blank picture on it, which all the pieces in there

Jeff Robertson: 00:38:17

and they're just coming together and.

Jeff Robertson: 00:38:20

You put that one piece in sometimes and you're like, it don't fit, but

Jeff Robertson: 00:38:23

it looks good right there for right now until I can find the right piece.

Jeff Robertson: 00:38:27

Right?

Jeff Robertson: 00:38:27

And you might find four pieces in a row that kind of stuck together outta the box

Jeff Robertson: 00:38:31

and you got them over there and wait for them to come inside the square and like.

Jeff Robertson: 00:38:39

You, when you're look at it like that and that piece that you tried to force

Jeff Robertson: 00:38:43

in there, that might be, that may have been a 15 year career, a 20 year career.

Jeff Robertson: 00:38:47

It was in there and you're like, man, it, it seems like it should fit.

Jeff Robertson: 00:38:51

But you know, the piece I'm talking about, it don't really

Jeff Robertson: 00:38:54

fit until you find the right one.

Jeff Robertson: 00:38:55

It snaps right in there and you're like, holy crap.

Jeff Robertson: 00:38:58

And when you snap that one piece in.

Jeff Robertson: 00:39:00

All these over here that you've been putting together comes into

Jeff Robertson: 00:39:03

the puzzle as well, and it's just, it starts to picture itself out.

Jeff Robertson: 00:39:07

That's what I would tell you is you ain't, you're, you're, you're just

Jeff Robertson: 00:39:12

an, it's just another puzzle piece.

Jeff Robertson: 00:39:14

And if you'll, if you'll look, if you'll pause for a second and be like, all right.

Jeff Robertson: 00:39:19

What's life trying to tell me here?

Jeff Robertson: 00:39:21

And I know what life is trying to tell me.

Jeff Robertson: 00:39:23

It's like, Hey, it's time for you to move on.

Jeff Robertson: 00:39:24

It's time for you to go be a dad.

Jeff Robertson: 00:39:25

It's time for you to go impact other people's lives.

Jeff Robertson: 00:39:28

It's time for you to go learn business and do this stuff so you can go coach.

Jeff Robertson: 00:39:31

Right?

Jeff Robertson: 00:39:31

So it sets me up for this, this journey that ends up putting someone who was.

Jeff Robertson: 00:39:37

Negative in my life.

Jeff Robertson: 00:39:39

It put them, it put them, their family in there to where we're all friends today.

Jeff Robertson: 00:39:43

And I speak, and when I do, I mention them.

Jeff Robertson: 00:39:46

Uh, and the role that that Danny's dad played in my life, um, I.

Jeff Robertson: 00:39:52

That's what I would tell you is you're just coming together.

Jeff Robertson: 00:39:55

You feel like you're falling apart.

Jeff Robertson: 00:39:57

But man, I'll tell you what, if you'll reframe that and just look, it's

Jeff Robertson: 00:39:59

like I had a client tell me the other day, a little perspective on this.

Jeff Robertson: 00:40:03

He called me and he was like, man, I lost $7,000 contract today.

Jeff Robertson: 00:40:06

I'm like, why are you talking to me?

Jeff Robertson: 00:40:07

And he's like, he's like, he's like, I just need to vent about it.

Jeff Robertson: 00:40:10

And I go, you lost seven.

Jeff Robertson: 00:40:12

But um.

Jeff Robertson: 00:40:13

21. I said, you got three clients trying to get in the door.

Jeff Robertson: 00:40:15

He lost one, but you got three waiting on you.

Jeff Robertson: 00:40:18

There's $21,000 out there for you.

Jeff Robertson: 00:40:20

Hang up with me and go find it.

Jeff Robertson: 00:40:22

And he's like, that's why I called you.

Jeff Robertson: 00:40:23

I'll see you later.

Jeff Robertson: 00:40:24

Right?

Jeff Robertson: 00:40:24

So take those bad times if you can reframe 'em.

Jeff Robertson: 00:40:28

Don't forget that you're, you know, pause takes self inventory five influences

Jeff Robertson: 00:40:33

that you're letting in your life.

Jeff Robertson: 00:40:35

If you're, if you're, if alcohol got you in your situation, stop hanging out with

Jeff Robertson: 00:40:39

your drinking buddies for a while, for a while till you can get it under control.

Jeff Robertson: 00:40:42

Once you can get it under control, then you do you, but do a quick

Jeff Robertson: 00:40:45

inventory of who's influencing you.

Jeff Robertson: 00:40:47

And that will also make a difference in your puzzle pieces because generally those

Jeff Robertson: 00:40:52

influences, um, got you where you are.

Jeff Robertson: 00:40:55

It might be at work, like let's say you got, you lost your job.

Jeff Robertson: 00:40:58

It's probably 'cause you was, you know, you're gossiping

Jeff Robertson: 00:41:01

with, with the boys or whatever.

Jeff Robertson: 00:41:02

Or you had a bad relationship.

Jeff Robertson: 00:41:05

There's a bunch of reasons.

Jeff Robertson: 00:41:06

But if, or being negative, that happens.

Jeff Robertson: 00:41:09

And if you inventory your surroundings, you're gonna find four

Jeff Robertson: 00:41:12

of the people you hang out with.

Jeff Robertson: 00:41:13

Freaking negative.

Jeff Robertson: 00:41:15

Yeah.

Mike Forrester: 00:41:16

Well, dude, as we're wrapping up here, that's a whole lot

Mike Forrester: 00:41:20

that could be into, in and of itself, what you just shared there, man.

Mike Forrester: 00:41:26

Looking for the opportunities, even when we hit those hurdles, which, you

Mike Forrester: 00:41:31

know, that in and of itself is the resilience, the mental toughness that,

Mike Forrester: 00:41:36

you know, can, can lead to those bigger opportunities that we almost have.

Mike Forrester: 00:41:41

We're almost like a horse, you know, we have blinders on 'cause

Mike Forrester: 00:41:44

we're focused on one thing.

Mike Forrester: 00:41:46

How can guys connect with you outside of the podcast here and, and learn more about

Mike Forrester: 00:41:51

resilience and, and mental toughness to continue flexing that muscle and building

Mike Forrester: 00:41:57

it up to, you know, push through to that new opportunity that's before them.

Jeff Robertson: 00:42:02

Yeah, I appreciate that.

Jeff Robertson: 00:42:03

I do some speaking, so you can book me a speak, but, or we can, we can

Jeff Robertson: 00:42:07

create a conversation, um, through my website, jeffrey robertson.com.

Jeff Robertson: 00:42:12

Uh, it's my name Jeffrey, REY robertson.com.

Jeff Robertson: 00:42:16

My social links is at the bottom.

Jeff Robertson: 00:42:18

Um, if you click on Instagram, it, that's me.

Jeff Robertson: 00:42:21

You're gonna come directly to me.

Jeff Robertson: 00:42:23

. But, uh, I'm active on Instagram At other net, you're, if you're looking

Jeff Robertson: 00:42:26

for that, best plan But if you're looking for that, if it spoke to

Jeff Robertson: 00:42:29

you and you want to see it or just, uh, I'm, I'm almost done the course.

Jeff Robertson: 00:42:34

Um, in the meantime, if you'll just message me and say, Hey, you

Jeff Robertson: 00:42:37

know, I want that, I want that PDF, I'll send you the, um, I'll send

Jeff Robertson: 00:42:40

you the PDF so you all can get it.

Jeff Robertson: 00:42:42

It doesn't, um, my whole goal is to just.

Jeff Robertson: 00:42:46

Just put it out there.

Jeff Robertson: 00:42:47

Let's, let's help some people with it.

Jeff Robertson: 00:42:49

And, uh, I'm using it in, uh, coaching athletics, so I want

Jeff Robertson: 00:42:53

anybody who would love to have that.

Jeff Robertson: 00:42:54

But whatever I can do to support you as well, Mike, uh, jeffrey iverson.com.

Jeff Robertson: 00:42:58

Um, love what you're doing here, the message, um, this is that, that you are

Jeff Robertson: 00:43:04

absolutely the influence of that positive.

Jeff Robertson: 00:43:07

Um.

Jeff Robertson: 00:43:08

Male role model that I spoke of, and the guest that you're

Jeff Robertson: 00:43:12

having on here is, is doing what?

Jeff Robertson: 00:43:14

Their part in getting the message out of someone like me that was

Jeff Robertson: 00:43:17

missing that many years ago.

Jeff Robertson: 00:43:20

So don't let, I appreciate everything you're doing too, brother, and um,

Jeff Robertson: 00:43:25

anything I can do to support your efforts, I'm always standing by man.

Mike Forrester: 00:43:29

I appreciate it, man.

Mike Forrester: 00:43:30

And that's the thing, Jeff, like you and I are now able to stand in a

Mike Forrester: 00:43:34

different position than we were before.

Mike Forrester: 00:43:37

But it's like we hear so little about the struggle, about, you know, what's,

Mike Forrester: 00:43:44

what's beyond what we see right now?

Mike Forrester: 00:43:47

And you know, through both of us.

Mike Forrester: 00:43:49

That's really what we're wanting to help other men see is there is hope.

Mike Forrester: 00:43:54

There is a way, there's the possibility of a different life than what

Mike Forrester: 00:43:59

you've experienced before or even what you're living today, but it's.

Mike Forrester: 00:44:06

Not easy.

Mike Forrester: 00:44:06

It does take that resilience, that perseverance, you know, just that

Mike Forrester: 00:44:10

fortitude and a change of perspective.

Mike Forrester: 00:44:13

And so much of that comes through what you've talked about, Jeff, and as we

Mike Forrester: 00:44:17

look at like where you came through those hurdles, those challenges,

Mike Forrester: 00:44:21

and what you're doing today, dude, that is 180 degrees difference and

Mike Forrester: 00:44:25

appreciate what you're bringing to bear the tools that men can plug into.

Mike Forrester: 00:44:29

So Jeff, thank you so much for your time and the insights that you've

Mike Forrester: 00:44:33

shared to here today, my friend.

Jeff Robertson: 00:44:35

Appreciate you, brother.