Episode 419
How to Trust Yourself and Build Your Confidence with Vinnie Potestivo
Building trust and confidence in yourself is a journey that many men struggle with. In this episode, I sit down with Vinnie Potestivo, a media industry veteran to discuss how we can develop self trust and authenticity in our personal and professional lives. He revealed strategies for carving out your own path, especially when living in the shadow of your father. Vinnie discusses how he differentiated himself from his dad while still respecting his legacy. Your journey is unique from your father's, learn to appreciate your individual experiences and how they shape your perspective. Vinnie emphasizes the value of reflection and continuous growth in developing your confidence.
Uncover the importance of repetitive actions and clear communication in establishing trust - both with others and yourself. Vinnie shares examples from his work with celebrities and how he creates a foundation of trust in high-pressure environments. Discover the high value of surrounding yourself with supportive individuals who challenge and inspire you. Vinnie highlights how building strong connections has been crucial to his success in the media industry and also seen in his father's life with lifelong friends. This chat with Vinnie highlights how you as a man can increase your level of self trust, build authentic relationships and create an identity that is true to you and your unique gifts.
In this episode, you will be able to:
- Mastering the art of building trust in professional relationships for lasting success.
- Unleashing the power of personal branding strategies to stand out as an entrepreneur.
- Embracing the pivotal role of consistency in content marketing for sustainable growth.
- Unlocking the potential of leveraging LinkedIn for exponential business growth.
- Navigating career challenges with resilience for continuous personal and professional development.
The key moments in this episode are:
00:07:07 - Confidence and Trust
00:13:16 - Overcoming Childhood Challenges
00:15:08 - Creating Opportunities
00:17:36 - Trust and Empathy
00:19:54 - Embracing Personal Strengths
00:22:57 - Building Trust Through Practice
00:29:15 - Establishing Your Unique Personal Identity
00:38:50 - Building Trust and Asking for Help
Connect with Vinnie Potestivo
Website
https://linkedin.com/in/vinniepotestivo
https://instagram.com/vinniepotestivo
https://facebook.com/vinniepotestivo
Connect with Mike Forrester
Podcast Website
https://LivingFearlessTodayPodcast.com
Coaching Website
https://www.linkedin.com/in/hicoachmike/
Youtube
https://www.youtube.com/@hicoachmike
https://www.facebook.com/hicoachmike
https://www.instagram.com/hicoachmike
Transcript
Well, hello and welcome back my friend, and this week I could not be happier
Speaker:to have Vinnie Potestivo joining me.
Speaker:And Vinnie is one of those guys that, man, you look, he has a, a heart for people, he
Speaker:trusts people, and he's one of those that just elevates and elevates and elevates.
Speaker:And you may not think you have it in you, but Vinnie's gonna pull
Speaker:it out and you're gonna shine and.
Speaker:He just has a gift for connecting and seeing things and pulling things
Speaker:about, you know, right out and really bringing them toward the forefront.
Speaker:So Vinnie's got 30 years in the media.
Speaker:He has been like the brainchild for, uh, um, the Osborne's.
Speaker:Gosh, what else?
Speaker:Vinnie?
Speaker:Um.
Speaker:What am I gonna get blamed for?
Speaker:Uh, Housewives punks, the challenge Who?
Speaker:The Wild And Out still on tv.
Speaker:You know, some franchises that really made conversations in space.
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:And that's why I was like going, Hmm.
Speaker:I looked at this earlier, Vinnie, I knew this.
Speaker:I'm like, come on.
Speaker:Um, but I remember the Osborn's, 'cause I watched The Osborn,
Speaker:you know, so, oh yeah, they
Speaker:made me man.
Speaker:Family put me on the map that fam, I mean, what a, what an amazing
Speaker:experience to grow with that family.
Speaker:My dad.
Speaker:With Ozzy as like an idol and then I got to work with his fam.
Speaker:I mean, what a cool way to connect.
Speaker:And, uh, a lot of, a lot of how I approach those bus those shows that
Speaker:MTV in Bravo and thereafter really has a lot to do with, with my family.
Speaker:And, uh, I'm the old, I'm the oldest of my family, you know, everyone in my family
Speaker:is the oldest of their family, so I was very close with my grandparents and.
Speaker:Then also felt very paternal and ma and maternal to my, my siblings.
Speaker:So taking care of people has been something that's like built into my ether.
Speaker:And, uh, if I can be a steward to success and connection and I can help circumvent,
Speaker:you know, failure and help create resilient, strong creatives who can create
Speaker:content that they own, that's the trick.
Speaker:I, Ozzy owns a lot of the music, but he doesn't own the TV show.
Speaker:MTV does.
Speaker:I worked in TV at a point in time where gatekeepers controlled what
Speaker:hit the airwaves, but now that that's changed, why I am here is to make
Speaker:sure that we know what's happening in those closed, behind closed doors.
Speaker:Like the conversations that are happening with media and content
Speaker:and money and support and growth.
Speaker:The conversations I've heard and been a part of are just
Speaker:tremendous, and I, I'm here to help.
Speaker:Make sure that they land for people who, who I know can take it
Speaker:farther than it already has been.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:You're kind of like the OG in many of those aspects.
Speaker:I mean, 30 years ago it wasn't like we had Facebook and the internet
Speaker:and all these things and, and you were at the cusp of stuff.
Speaker:Any like, um, just creating connections, creating access, helping
Speaker:people to step into opportunities.
Speaker:And I think that's what's so amazing is just like you've found
Speaker:an area I. And just continued to.
Speaker:Show up in who you are.
Speaker:Um, oh, thank you.
Speaker:To just almost polish the gem, right?
Speaker:Your, your gift.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:I appreciate that you polish that, that gem over the decades.
Speaker:And it's like, dude, so
Speaker:you, as you're saying this, I'm, I'm like thrown back to my childhood
Speaker:and, and I'm thinking of like, 'cause you talked about like.
Speaker:Social media and like the idea of growing up and being an influencer.
Speaker:Maybe that's something kids think about now, but certainly never crossed my mind.
Speaker:When I was a kid, I wanted to be a TV VCR repair man.
Speaker:I thought that was the best gift.
Speaker:I thought that was like the best job in the entire world,
Speaker:and to be honest, I, I got.
Speaker:I got really deep into like the technical aspect of media because I would take
Speaker:apart TVs and fix them because I did see that as a way that I would be invited
Speaker:into people's living rooms every day and how I can help them create a more
Speaker:entertaining space for themselves.
Speaker:And I certainly know that I had a lot of conversations in the TV room because that
Speaker:TV brought the family together more so than the ta, than the dining room, which,
Speaker:you know, ended up usually in a hot fuse.
Speaker:Um.
Speaker:But it was my love for VHS, VCR.
Speaker:I never even thought about cable.
Speaker:And we talk about 30 years ago, it's funny to be called an og and
Speaker:I'm like VHS and there's beta, you know, there's so much before me.
Speaker:Um, and, uh, and I, and, and I was a fan of that.
Speaker:And I leaned in and I leaned into it.
Speaker:But it was that idea of like, this, this box in my living room is the, is the way
Speaker:into people's hearts and lives and like that, that me and then when computers.
Speaker:Started hitting people's homes.
Speaker:I also wanted that computer and it was this idea of a database, a computer, and
Speaker:creativity that ultimately, you know, opened the door for me into media and, uh.
Speaker:The rest is history notoriously.
Speaker:Well, since you mentioned, you know, computers and database,
Speaker:let's go back to that.
Speaker:It was you creating a database to connect people that actually
Speaker:created some momentum there for you.
Speaker:And you know, like.
Speaker:I keep seeing you do things, Vinnie, where it's like many of us are looking at it.
Speaker:It's like, Vinnie, I gotta have it all together before I go do this thing.
Speaker:Oh, and instead you're like, I am gonna take the chance and show up in the best
Speaker:way that I can and do the best that I can.
Speaker:But what happens is what's gonna happen?
Speaker:How did you.
Speaker:How did you find the courage and the confidence to show
Speaker:up and create this database?
Speaker:I love
Speaker:the, what a beautiful phrasing, by the way of that question.
Speaker:Uh, confidence.
Speaker:I, I, I would say that, um, growing up in my household as a young child,
Speaker:seven, eight, my mom's in rehab.
Speaker:My dad's at softball.
Speaker:My grandma's watching us.
Speaker:There's four kids upstairs.
Speaker:I had no awareness of what else I thought I thought, to be honest.
Speaker:There's a movie called My cousin Vinnie.
Speaker:My dad's name is Vinnie.
Speaker:I thought there were a lot more Vinnies in this world.
Speaker:I had no under Vincents and Josephs I thought, and everyone's Nicole Marie.
Speaker:I had no understanding of like the world outside of Staten Island,
Speaker:E even, even outside of New York City, to be really honest.
Speaker:Um.
Speaker:I bring that up kind of joking.
Speaker:'cause that's a, it's an, it is a, it is a familiar theme that a
Speaker:lot of New Yorkers sort of have.
Speaker:Maybe 'cause a lot of people come to New York and we get used to people
Speaker:coming to New York in the travel part.
Speaker:Um, but I wasn't aware of space and I, I couldn't wrap
Speaker:my head around how big it was.
Speaker:So I kind of come from this place of abundance knowing that.
Speaker:There's so much more than me, and I'm just gonna like, accept that.
Speaker:And I'm not gonna try to put a quantitative number on it
Speaker:because it's going to, it's going to keep growing as space does.
Speaker:Um, and, uh, I'm just gonna accept it and I'm gonna focus on some of the
Speaker:answers that I either know for a fact or answers that I'm gonna turn into
Speaker:facts, you know, that that becomes reality tv you know, where, where I
Speaker:wanna change the conversation, but you can't change facts, but truths.
Speaker:Change facts so I can work on the truth.
Speaker:I can make a family more relatable.
Speaker:I can make a woman more relatable.
Speaker:I can make a fam a business, a team, a company more
Speaker:relatable through storytelling.
Speaker:And that's something that I learned at home.
Speaker:So I think I take those late night, you know, and, and I had
Speaker:parents that improvise improvised stories for us as, as kids.
Speaker:They didn't, it didn't always come from the book.
Speaker:It was just imaginative.
Speaker:And we were encouraged to be imaginative also.
Speaker:And I think that there's like this part of my.
Speaker:Brain where I just sort of ex I tr it's trust, it's grace and trust.
Speaker:I don't, it's a weird thing to call out, but I trust myself.
Speaker:That took a long time to get to, you know, you talk about you.
Speaker:Thank you for mentioning the, the, um, the, my database.
Speaker:Uh, I was a bad storyteller.
Speaker:I didn't realize what a bad storyteller I was.
Speaker:Uh, everything that was unfortunate in my life.
Speaker:Everything that I ever failed at became my story.
Speaker:And I almost like forgot about my wins and how I got to the places where I got to.
Speaker:And I took a class in high school in college called the Landmark
Speaker:Forum, um, outside of school.
Speaker:And, uh.
Speaker:Uh, I, I actually, I took this landmark forum and in my class was
Speaker:Robin Quivers, uh, Howard Stern's, producer and, and co-host and been on
Speaker:her, she was the woman when I turned on, you know, when I turned on TV and
Speaker:I didn't see myself on any network.
Speaker:She was the person I found myself in.
Speaker:I was like, I wanna support creative people, and I could.
Speaker:I can maybe be on camera, maybe be behind the hike.
Speaker:I'm okay to have a personality, but I can do what I need to do.
Speaker:You know, off camera.
Speaker:Being off camera for me was really, it was an important part of my construct
Speaker:and how I was gonna help people connect because I wanted to build stages
Speaker:that they could be on, to be honest.
Speaker:'cause I love being in the audience.
Speaker:So like I built stages for a lot of these people because I just truly wanna
Speaker:be around them and their success and, and when you have that mindset that
Speaker:that's like everyone, that's not just the stars that I've worked with on stage.
Speaker:It's every person who builds that stage and continues to.
Speaker:So, um, I. I found out I was a bad storyteller and um, I was a really
Speaker:good data analyst for like the Y 2K and like, you know, the, uh, computer
Speaker:pro, you know, uh, in 9, 19 99.
Speaker:Like, I'm a, I'm Gen X, so like, I was built, I was built to quote
Speaker:unquote understand technology.
Speaker:You know, the way that millennials understand social media and the way that.
Speaker:Gen Z or Gen Alpha understands ai, you know, like there's this imp implication.
Speaker:So I lean into some of those implications.
Speaker:Sometimes I lean into the expectations that left or right,
Speaker:you know, into it or out of it.
Speaker:But I know how to lean into that.
Speaker:And that's something, something I learned from my father for sure, that I saw
Speaker:him execute masterfully, uh, which is like control, having control over your
Speaker:own space and sort of doing, doing the unexpected, but doing it really well.
Speaker:And, and they're always like what you said always and always sort of making sense.
Speaker:You know?
Speaker:Mm-hmm.
Speaker:So for me.
Speaker:If I can be consistent, and this C word is not a fun word for me to say
Speaker:because I don't, I, it's, it's hard for me to talk about consistency
Speaker:'cause so many people use it in the form of showing up through content.
Speaker:But if you can show up through context and be consistent, if the
Speaker:conversations that you're creating around, yes, we need to post content
Speaker:because that there's some visibility.
Speaker:Not all visibility is equal visibility, but there is visibility
Speaker:in posting how we post and how we manage those conversations matter.
Speaker:The same way that I would overhear my parents having a conversation, you know,
Speaker:as a kid and I knew this is gonna, this is gonna be a week long convo, or it's
Speaker:gonna be a short one because they're not listening to each other and I'm just
Speaker:gonna go to, and then the trauma kicks in and the trauma, and then I'm gonna go to
Speaker:sleep and if I wake up, everything's fine.
Speaker:Uh, but I trust, I trust myself and really I. Tough TT spaces because of
Speaker:the people I surround myself with.
Speaker:I had three other siblings that I chose to surround myself with
Speaker:and protect and, and vice versa.
Speaker:And if I don't think it were for a turbulent growing up, I wouldn't
Speaker:have been a heart-centered.
Speaker:Talent, developing creative that focused so much on the true wellbeing of others.
Speaker:Like I didn't just make them stars.
Speaker:I, I focused on their wellbeing.
Speaker:Like the, the best brands that are out there aren't the ones
Speaker:that are the most visible.
Speaker:They're the ones that have the strongest barriers and boundaries.
Speaker:They're the ones that are so well built that you can't knock them down.
Speaker:No house of cards here.
Speaker:And, uh, that's, that happens over time.
Speaker:So.
Speaker:I wish, if I could go back and tell myself 30 years from now,
Speaker:it's all gonna make sense.
Speaker:People will understand what you do.
Speaker:'cause now people understand talent development.
Speaker:But 30 years ago it was really hard to explain to people
Speaker:what, what I was trying to do.
Speaker:And I get a lot of credit for launching big celebrity stars
Speaker:and for creating TV shows.
Speaker:But the truth is, is I was hired to put MTV on the map.
Speaker:MTV was a cable channel when I got there in the nineties.
Speaker:And.
Speaker:I brought in talent that I collaborated with and created intellectual property
Speaker:with that, that network owned.
Speaker:I built our media library large enough so that we could take it globally
Speaker:and partner with other people.
Speaker:That's something that I can do with people, with businesses,
Speaker:with brands, solopreneurs, entrepreneurs, mediapreneurs.
Speaker:Um, I've done it.
Speaker:I've done it over and over again and if, and, and like, it's a
Speaker:successful model for not just starting conversations, but supporting them.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:One thing you said in there, Vinnie, and I really wanna pull this to the forefront,
Speaker:is like the focus of, you know, it's so easy for many of us to look and go, I did
Speaker:this wrong and this wrong and this wrong.
Speaker:And yet when we're asked, what did you do right?
Speaker:What's gone your way?
Speaker:What are your wins?
Speaker:There's kind of that blank.
Speaker:Mm-hmm.
Speaker:There's that pause of, of really searching deep.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:How did you flip the script on that to where.
Speaker:You're seeing or working to see you know, what's been done right.
Speaker:And kind of take down the value of the things, Hey, this didn't
Speaker:quite go the way I wanted.
Speaker:How do you, yeah.
Speaker:How do you get that to where you're seeing the positive things more
Speaker:heavily weighed in your favor?
Speaker:I put myself in my own audience.
Speaker:I. Like growing up as a kid, playing wiffle ball, little
Speaker:league soccer, baseball.
Speaker:Uh, my, you know, I'm the, so I'll, I'll phrase it this way.
Speaker:I, again, I'm the oldest in my family and my parents had me young.
Speaker:So when, when I was at the age where kids were playing little league, my dad was
Speaker:still playing softball in his beer league.
Speaker:So.
Speaker:My parents didn't come to my games.
Speaker:I got very used to going to my dad games and cheering on my dad and my mom,
Speaker:cheering on my dad and like us showing up for other family members, um, wins
Speaker:for me a lot of, and, and, and then as a kid, my parents, my, my mom mostly was
Speaker:in, was in rehab for a couple of years.
Speaker:So like, uh, I, my dad and his siblings sort of took, took care
Speaker:of the US four kids in, in a way.
Speaker:And, um, I think that.
Speaker:I got used to having wins and failures in silence.
Speaker:Um, and uh, there's a part of me now, even now as a creative, where I watch my
Speaker:highs and lows, you know, even when I won my first Emmy and it was an amazing, you
Speaker:know, life, life changing moment for sure.
Speaker:I also just kept myself in check and I kind of, I kind of like this middle space.
Speaker:It's where I flow the best and the fastest, but when I get caught
Speaker:on the peaks and the valleys.
Speaker:Um, I get into a space that I don't trust.
Speaker:That's actually a great, I never said this out loud.
Speaker:I, I get into a space that I don't trust.
Speaker:I don't know.
Speaker:And I will not start a project if I'm not a hundred percent sure that
Speaker:the people that I want to finish this project with are on the project.
Speaker:So, very rarely do I start something and then need help in the middle of it because
Speaker:I hit a wall and I, I couldn't, I couldn't figure out how to, how to complete
Speaker:what we needed with what we were given.
Speaker:And I think that's because I wait.
Speaker:People, and it's all about people and it's trust in people,
Speaker:and it's my trust in myself.
Speaker:So yeah, when I put myself in my own audience, when I started showing up for
Speaker:myself, you know that database that I created, I put, one night I took out
Speaker:an ad, something called Backstage.
Speaker:There's like a. A literal piece of paper, you know, print back then in the nineties
Speaker:that, you know, non-union actors and models would be able to get, and there
Speaker:was a very limited way to get them.
Speaker:You had to go to a couple of bookstores in New York City or get,
Speaker:be on the distribution for this.
Speaker:So if you weren't in the know, you didn't know.
Speaker:And there were a lot of castings that I saw were going by that
Speaker:people just didn't know about.
Speaker:So yeah, I took out an ad and I said, I'm starting my casting database.
Speaker:Send me your headshots and resumes.
Speaker:I was still in school.
Speaker:So I got, I think, se a little over 700, uh, headshots and resumes
Speaker:sent to me, which was so cool.
Speaker:But I would say, uh, 701.
Speaker:'cause I put myself in that.
Speaker:I put myself in there.
Speaker:I remember the day that I put, it wasn't, at first, it was like after I
Speaker:put everybody there and I started sending all these people alerts and I was like,
Speaker:wait, I'm literally not gonna, like, I'm not gonna give myself anything.
Speaker:Like I have this entire framework and like nothing for me.
Speaker:And the thing for me was.
Speaker:My mom told me, you know, no one in my family was in the entertainment industry
Speaker:and the only way I'd ever break into the industry is if I met a casting
Speaker:director in the corner of Times Square.
Speaker:I trust people.
Speaker:I know that's crazy, but I don't care.
Speaker:I trust it.
Speaker:So it's gonna happen.
Speaker:It's gonna work.
Speaker:I. Some people would say, that's never gonna work.
Speaker:I made it work, I make things work.
Speaker:I went to Times Square and I met a casting director and I worked at MTV on
Speaker:that corner in Broadway for 10 years.
Speaker:And then I went around the corner and worked at a bunch of other cable
Speaker:networks as a casting director.
Speaker:And I look back 20, 25 years ago when I got to MTV, 'cause 30 years
Speaker:ago I started in, in like basic cable in Staten Island, 25 years.
Speaker:When I'm at MTV, that casting director that I met that day.
Speaker:I thought it was my boss.
Speaker:I realize now it was myself.
Speaker:That's, that's the direction that my parents were taking in.
Speaker:So I, I trust people because like I'm okay to take their direction to the place
Speaker:where I believe that it needs to be where, where I want it to be, to be honest.
Speaker:And I have a lot of control over that.
Speaker:Um.
Speaker:There's actually a, I'm cringing a little bit because there's a part of me as a
Speaker:entrepreneur in early Y 2K where I know for a fact I would say things like, I
Speaker:know there's the right way and there's my way, so please just do it my way.
Speaker:Like, I know, I would say things like, like that's a sta I cringe.
Speaker:'cause like I do consider myself to be an empath and our heart-centered, uh, leader.
Speaker:So it cringes to, to admit that.
Speaker:But I know I did, I know I said that.
Speaker:I also would say things like.
Speaker:I'm just trying to help you out.
Speaker:So if it hurts, I'm just trying to help you out.
Speaker:You know what I mean?
Speaker:Like I would, I would, I was a little off sometimes.
Speaker:Um, but the goal always was to create something meaningful and I. To do
Speaker:what we can, not what we should.
Speaker:What we should do is like complete the project as assigned.
Speaker:What we can do is more.
Speaker:And what I learned by doing that, especially now with the advent of Netflix
Speaker:and social media and all the other streamers that are out there, series
Speaker:that I created 30 years ago, 20 years ago, 15 years ago, are coming back on
Speaker:air or re uh, being remounted on air or.
Speaker:The entire first original season is being, you know, shown and debuted
Speaker:now for the first time on, on Netflix because it's relevant, not because of
Speaker:what I had to do back in 2001 based on what those trends were, but based
Speaker:on the story that we were telling.
Speaker:And, um, I got to TV because storytellers worked.
Speaker:On television and to get things on tv, you need to be a gatekeeper.
Speaker:So I became a gatekeeper.
Speaker:I worked at Viacom, M-T-V-C-B-S News, CNN News, Fox News.
Speaker:Fox News was the first job I got outta college, uh, on a show called Hannity and
Speaker:Combs, you know, two sides of the aisle.
Speaker:We're gonna have this conversation.
Speaker:This is something that I could relate to growing up.
Speaker:I mean, like in my household, there was Mets, jets, Nicks.
Speaker:You know, there was a very specific, you know, teams that we
Speaker:were supposed to be subscribed to.
Speaker:So learning, learning how to operate in a two choice system, where I'm
Speaker:aware that there's more than just two choices, but I have to concede to the
Speaker:given circumstances of this world that, of this version of the world that I'm
Speaker:in, I do it the way that I wanna do it, and I find strength in that, and I, and
Speaker:I keep doing that over and over again.
Speaker:So Vinnie, you've talked about trusting others sometimes that can be
Speaker:a problem for us, these guys, right?
Speaker:Mm-hmm.
Speaker:But I think the bigger problem is really trusting ourselves.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:in, in what you've gone through, 'cause you've worked with a lot of talent, right?
Speaker:I'm assuming you've come across that before.
Speaker:How do you.
Speaker:Help people to trust themselves when they're, you know, you're
Speaker:bringing talent and pushing them, you know, into unknown areas.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:How do you help them to trust themselves?
Speaker:In new situations where they may be like, Hey, I'm, I'm hesitant
Speaker:about being here, Vinnie.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Trust is built and the best way to build trust is through repetitive actions.
Speaker:So I build trust by a couple of ways.
Speaker:Like, look in a, in a relationship.
Speaker:I build trust by calling you every single day.
Speaker:I build trust that way.
Speaker:Every single day I'm gonna call, you know, I care about you.
Speaker:I'm gonna build trust.
Speaker:Uh, every time I bring you into the studio, I'm gonna tell you what we're
Speaker:gonna do, and I'm gonna do that.
Speaker:I'm not gonna throw curve ball at you.
Speaker:I'm not gonna.
Speaker:Try to push the limits while the crew is around.
Speaker:I'm gonna be really respectful and I'm gonna be very, very,
Speaker:very clear on what the goal is.
Speaker:This is something I learned actually through with Beyonce
Speaker:and, uh, uh, she, we cast her in a movie called Carmen: A Hip Hopera.
Speaker:And, uh, Robert Townsend, the director for Eddie Murphy, delirious and Raw Robert
Speaker:Townsend, Beyonce and I are in the room.
Speaker:It's Beyonce's audition.
Speaker:Um, I thought this was my moment to prove to Robert that I could
Speaker:be like an MTV videographer.
Speaker:Like, you know, I start moving the camera like, it's like MTV spring break.
Speaker:I don't think he appreciated it.
Speaker:He says, vin, I don't need to see that.
Speaker:She can act, I can see, she can act.
Speaker:I'm in the room.
Speaker:I just need to see her eyes.
Speaker:So don't shake the camera six inches from her face.
Speaker:He takes my hand six inches from her face.
Speaker:She's gonna walk across the room.
Speaker:I just wanna see eye contact.
Speaker:That's all she did.
Speaker:He said, great.
Speaker:Took the tape.
Speaker:Booked.
Speaker:She booked the film and we moved on.
Speaker:And I was a little confused by that process 'cause I was like, I.
Speaker:I thought I did something wrong and now you're giving me a note because
Speaker:I interfered with like Beyonce's energy and what I didn't realize was
Speaker:he was communicating what he needed.
Speaker:I need to see eye contact.
Speaker:Uh, eye contact is the most important component to it.
Speaker:Everything else is fixable.
Speaker:We can fix the acting and the positioning and, but the, but the
Speaker:focus, you can't really, the focus is hard to learn in a short period
Speaker:of time, you know, on a film set.
Speaker:So if she can't focus, she's not gonna get it basically.
Speaker:Was the energy, but that's not what he said.
Speaker:He didn't micromanager, he just focused on like what?
Speaker:What the vision was.
Speaker:And I look back at like, my childhood when my dad would tell me like, the vi you
Speaker:know, uh, between second base and third base, that's where the ball should go.
Speaker:Uh, the, uh, you always wanna make sure if you're building a, you know, the,
Speaker:the, the tree fort should look like this and there should be a slanted roof on.
Speaker:He would always sort of share a greater vision for me that I could
Speaker:lean into and, and kind of make my own, you know, there's a lot of that.
Speaker:Need to be myself, my dad, my, you know, I'm Vinnie TiVo, my dad's Vinnie TiVo.
Speaker:I mean, I'm Vincent Salvato TiVo.
Speaker:He's Vincent Salvato TiVo.
Speaker:So like, there's no, there's no get in away, you know?
Speaker:And, and I'm, I'm not, when you're in someone's shadow, you're not
Speaker:necessarily in their footsteps.
Speaker:You know, like I'm not, I don't have to, I'm not in lockstep with him, but I am.
Speaker:I am still respectfully, especially as, as an, a young Italian American
Speaker:in Staten Island, extremely respectfully because that ruler
Speaker:and that wooden spoon is so hard.
Speaker:But, and I joke around, but I, and I ended up okay, but I'm, I think that's
Speaker:a big reason why I am an empath and a heart centered communicator now too, is
Speaker:also because of the trauma I experienced.
Speaker:But we experienced that together and.
Speaker:Um, I'll say this, I had a really hard relationship with my dad growing up
Speaker:because of some of the decisions that he made as a, as a young father that
Speaker:now in his second marriage and seeing him be a father to my two brothers, uh,
Speaker:that makes me now the oldest of six.
Speaker:I have such a new, a profound relationship with this man that I,
Speaker:I just couldn't wrap my head around it, but I have to trust myself.
Speaker:I'm like, I, some things I'm just not gonna be able to.
Speaker:No capish, that's it.
Speaker:And you just gotta accept it and be in it and, and be in it, you know, and
Speaker:tolerate it, and tolerate not knowing.
Speaker:And, but you have to, you have to do that repetitively.
Speaker:And I think that the way that I build trust with an artist, for example,
Speaker:who's, you know, uh, Benji and Joel from Good Charlotte, come on to MTV.
Speaker:They're, they're artists.
Speaker:They know how to sing, but now they've gotta read cue cards
Speaker:and do things in TV time.
Speaker:How do they trust that process?
Speaker:I practice with them.
Speaker:Same way that you trust yourself with like a swing.
Speaker:When you're at that, you don't just trust the swing that
Speaker:you're gonna throw out there.
Speaker:You trust the hours and hours and hours of practice.
Speaker:The blisters, the intention that you bring to that practice and to that protocol
Speaker:like that, that's how you build it.
Speaker:And, and you, you have to lock in.
Speaker:You can't change goals, you can't change dates, you can't change times.
Speaker:Even when you accomplish goals early on, you gotta keep those goals locked.
Speaker:It's great to two x three x an early goal.
Speaker:It just means that you undershot your capability.
Speaker:It doesn't mean that you overshot your expectations.
Speaker:So lock, lock those expectations and goals down.
Speaker:That's something that I think where people might lose trust is they don't quite
Speaker:truly believe that what they're doing is.
Speaker:It's presently the best option for what?
Speaker:The choice that's in front of them.
Speaker:That you have to have strong point of view.
Speaker:You have to have a strong brand.
Speaker:You have to have a strong awareness to be able to make quick decisions.
Speaker:Um, and the brands that do the best are the ones that do make quick decisions.
Speaker:They're quick to move, slow to change.
Speaker:Change is an evolution, not a pivot.
Speaker:And those are brands that I continue to work with.
Speaker:A lot of the corporate brands and celebrity brands, athletes, you
Speaker:know, have some, you know how some celebrities have reinventions, they
Speaker:rebrand themselves every quarter or every, every type, every like time
Speaker:there's a movie or a, or an album comes out, they have a different look.
Speaker:Uh, I think the ones that are truly classic, the ones that have stood the
Speaker:test of time are the ones that are always.
Speaker:Constantly evolving and not doing it for the sake of a show or an
Speaker:album or a single moment, but are doing it as part of being human.
Speaker:And like that's why I think I work well with celebrities 'cause I just
Speaker:really, truly wanna work with humans who have creative genius and acumen
Speaker:to be able to make that happen.
Speaker:And there were things that I was doing as a young.
Speaker:Creative that would hold me up.
Speaker:My dad, by the way, probably comparing myself to my dad.
Speaker:My dad is a brilliant artist.
Speaker:My dad, there's this painting in my house that's like of the Virgin Mary
Speaker:and it's like the oil painting and everyone talks about it and my dad
Speaker:painted it and we always just thought my dad painted it when he was in college.
Speaker:'cause it's like so professional.
Speaker:He painted it when he was nine.
Speaker:We found out at Christmas, like two years ago.
Speaker:So like, that even burns even more.
Speaker:My dad was like, insanely a Renaissance man.
Speaker:They call him doctor, you know?
Speaker:Uh, and he's, and he's like a, he's a very, like a mathematician and he
Speaker:did go to college, but like, he's not a doctor, but a doctor of connection
Speaker:and a doctor of humanity for sure.
Speaker:He can make, he could get people to do things.
Speaker:And, and I, I can, I saw, I saw that, I saw that happen masterfully, and he
Speaker:didn't do it by telling them what to do.
Speaker:He gave them an opportunity to do it.
Speaker:That's how I approach creativity.
Speaker:It's how I approach the relationships that I have in business and in life as well.
Speaker:It's, it's an opportunity to, to move forward and how, how we
Speaker:do that, you know, is up to us.
Speaker:Dude, those are some big shoes.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:That's like a large shadow, you know, and I've, I've talked with other
Speaker:guys that they do have kind of that shadow from their, from their dad.
Speaker:How do you as a, as a man like function within that?
Speaker:Because it's like those shoes are so large, and yet you're not your dad.
Speaker:You are Vinnie, not, you know Vincent.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:You're your own identity.
Speaker:How do you, how do you bring out your identity when you're
Speaker:in your father's shadow?
Speaker:Respectfully, that's the first step with Grace, right?
Speaker:Like, there's the action, like I wanna answer your question.
Speaker:There is, there is some action that you have to take.
Speaker:Like the first two components of that need to be respect and grace.
Speaker:Um, because, um, you know your name, your especially, especially your name and
Speaker:your identity, these are things that your parents project on you, they give you.
Speaker:It's a gift.
Speaker:It, it comes, usually it comes from the best place possible.
Speaker:Um, but when you're in someone's shadow, you're.
Speaker:And their shadow.
Speaker:You know what I mean?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I'm not, I wasn't trying to be the loudest person in the room.
Speaker:I wasn't trying to, uh, outshine him in any way.
Speaker:I just wanted to compliment him.
Speaker:So first thing I did is, uh, uh, choices.
Speaker:So like, I know my dad was like a big fan of like the Giants
Speaker:and the Yankees and the Knicks.
Speaker:So I got the Jets, nets and Mets.
Speaker:It's like I differentiate, you know, out of the gate.
Speaker:That's one way.
Speaker:Another way is in soccer and sports.
Speaker:I would play the opposite position that my dad played, just so that
Speaker:I could increase my skill being something different than my father.
Speaker:Like I chose to position myself in a different place.
Speaker:Like I physically removed myself from an expectation and I physically
Speaker:put myself someplace there.
Speaker:You're gonna get different results.
Speaker:That's one brilliant way to stand out.
Speaker:And then the first act of branding.
Speaker:I ever did.
Speaker:Um, and a lot of it is because, you know, back in the nineties and eighties we would
Speaker:get mail and the snail mail would come to the house and that, you know, the more
Speaker:mail you got, the cooler you kind of were.
Speaker:Uh, and it all had my dad's name on it.
Speaker:Vincent Vincent, Vincent Vincent, or Vinny, VINN Y's.
Speaker:All I saw, so I found out that Vinnie.
Speaker:IE is a little feminine in some Latin languages.
Speaker:And as a gay man, I wanted to identify, I wanted in the nineties to identify as
Speaker:a gay man without needing to tell people and also have it be a part of my identity
Speaker:and bring that into the rooms where I was, where I didn't need to talk about it.
Speaker:So I changed the spelling of my name from Vinny with a Y to Vinnie with
Speaker:an IE between senior year and high school, and my freshman year in college.
Speaker:And I think that's the first time I really start.
Speaker:Considering the power of a personal brand, like I stepped into college
Speaker:as Vinnie with an ie. Radically different, and also I lost my Staten
Speaker:Island accent in like two months.
Speaker:I went home freshman year for different Thanksgiving.
Speaker:I was like, wait, we real, we really sound like this.
Speaker:Like we.
Speaker:We go to the mall and we get coffee and we get like the park over
Speaker:the, like, that's what we, yeah.
Speaker:Awesome.
Speaker:And I wanted to lose that because I felt like I had enough things going on in my
Speaker:life that, you know, 'cause of the bad storyteller I was, that uh, I was already
Speaker:unfortunate enough I didn't need the whole world to know I have, you know, some
Speaker:accent from Staten Island, whether you think it's sexy or not, I didn't want it.
Speaker:I wanted to sort of blend as much as I can, but still stand out.
Speaker:And, uh, I learned that from my dad.
Speaker:My dad played team sports his entire life, MVP, every single season, every
Speaker:single team, whether it was, uh, baseball, recently, foot football,
Speaker:softball, beer ball, I mean you name it, he was like the ultimate team player.
Speaker:But he was also a standout athlete who did really well on his own, but
Speaker:enjoyed being in a team environment.
Speaker:I love being a coach.
Speaker:I love being an advisor.
Speaker:I love helping people one-on-one make decisions that will.
Speaker:Think their companies and their families prosper.
Speaker:But what I love more than that is being part of the success.
Speaker:Like, yes, I love being an advisor.
Speaker:Actually.
Speaker:I said I was a coach.
Speaker:I'm not a coach.
Speaker:'cause coaches technically aren't allowed on the field.
Speaker:I wanna be on the field.
Speaker:I wanna be on the stage with you and like, I want this to be our win.
Speaker:Um, and I'm not saying I need to be an athlete.
Speaker:I'm not saying I need to be an active player on that team.
Speaker:I probably wouldn't be.
Speaker:I'd probably be like head of media for like some, some team or
Speaker:something, you know what I mean?
Speaker:But that would be the coolest gig.
Speaker:'cause like now I'm supporting the people who support me and I
Speaker:saw, again, my father have friends that supported him through life.
Speaker:Whether he was playing stickball baseball, dodgeball football,
Speaker:any, any, any game that was happening or any phase of his life.
Speaker:Those friends, his friend group came with him.
Speaker:And, uh, I wanted that, I wanted to be surrounded by creative friends.
Speaker:I wanted to have, I wanted to have people who were capable
Speaker:of creating conversations that.
Speaker:That changed my life and I, I found that, I found that in television and, and,
Speaker:and I find it now out of television.
Speaker:Um, and the opportunity that people have, business owners have when it comes to
Speaker:creating content that they own that's going to support or start conversations
Speaker:that are really hard to have.
Speaker:I want, I want Those are, those are the ones because I'll tell
Speaker:you what, we watched baseball in my house on silent because as my
Speaker:dad would say, you don't hear the announcers when you go to the game.
Speaker:So like I'm not listening to the announcers talk about
Speaker:nothing for like two hours.
Speaker:We'll watch it in silence or put on music and we can have the conversation.
Speaker:And that was a, a lot of times when I knew I had my dad's full attention, audibly on
Speaker:the audibles was when we were watching, when we were watching a game and also.
Speaker:Watching sports with your dad is a process.
Speaker:Anything with a process is brilliant for storytelling.
Speaker:I didn't know that.
Speaker:I just knew, ooh, seventh inning, I gotta hurry up and get to the point.
Speaker:Eighth inning, I gotta ask my dad for the thing.
Speaker:I want ninth inning, I gotta butter him up.
Speaker:10 thinning.
Speaker:I gotta be quiet and see what's happening now.
Speaker:'cause now I don't know, you know?
Speaker:So, but I be, I became really mindful of that, even in the approach of how to.
Speaker:Where, where I should be and, and, and, and where I, where I want to
Speaker:be in a conversation during that period of time, again, based on the
Speaker:construct of how a game plays out.
Speaker:So pacing, I don't know, pacing, some of that's pacing.
Speaker:Tru trust comes in again, cycles.
Speaker:So I'm having predictive conversations in a very repeatable way.
Speaker:Like I'm just always constantly looking to increase that trust, not just
Speaker:with other people, but with myself.
Speaker:I think that's it too.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Always at war with myself, man, who isn't what, what oldest son isn't,
Speaker:by the way, at war with himself.
Speaker:Those shoes that we step into that no one else wore before us,
Speaker:by the way, except for ourselves.
Speaker:And those are the, those are the hardest ones to fill.
Speaker:So funny.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:But what I love Vinnie, is it's like there's this journey and a
Speaker:discovery along the way and is your.
Speaker:Equipping people.
Speaker:There's also a self-realization and reflection that comes about
Speaker:and you continue to grow and, uh, do just so much powerful in there.
Speaker:Well, Vinnie, I wanna wrap things up here.
Speaker:If guys are looking to say like, Hey, I've got a mission, I've got a
Speaker:message, like, I need help, you know, getting it out there, how can those
Speaker:guys reach out to you, Vinnie, and, and connect with you to, you know, help?
Speaker:Oh yeah.
Speaker:Get that visibility, that that is your gift.
Speaker:Well, you know the answer to this because this is where you and I connect the most.
Speaker:This is my favorite place to connect.
Speaker:It's on LinkedIn because the intention, our intention is so rich when we
Speaker:show up on LinkedIn because of the momentum of our careers, the goals
Speaker:and values that we bring into like.
Speaker:Our life mission, especially you and I. So, uh, the same way I
Speaker:had an open door policy at those networks that I worked at, except
Speaker:you needed to, you know, get through security to get to the gatekeepers.
Speaker:Um, I'm on this side of, of media for a purpose, for a
Speaker:reason, so I can be reached.
Speaker:I am extremely accessible and, uh, I would say don't wait.
Speaker:If anything, don't wait till it's like time, or you need to have a decision made.
Speaker:I'm, I'm a very, um, steadfast person when it comes to building relationships.
Speaker:I truly take my time at getting to know what's what, what you believe is
Speaker:best for you, and that also starts a.
Speaker:Kick off the synopsis, but LinkedIn is where it starts also because
Speaker:that's where I like it to end.
Speaker:'cause we're gonna do a lot of business on LinkedIn.
Speaker:There's money and people and businesses and opportunity on there that I know.
Speaker:I know how to convert.
Speaker:So if I can get you on the right team, if I can strengthen your swing, if I can
Speaker:get your at bat to be one of the most, talk about at bats, like you're already
Speaker:winning the game without even like.
Speaker:That's like, that's the way to step into the game.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And play it.
Speaker:So.
Speaker:Vinnie, yes, LinkedIn is totally the place to connect with you
Speaker:and I will have that link.
Speaker:Um.
Speaker:Within, no pun intended there.
Speaker:I will have that, uh, within the show notes to be able to connect
Speaker:with you on LinkedIn and be able to get that connection established.
Speaker:Because like you talked about, it's our relationships and when I think
Speaker:about you, I automatically think of like, you know, uh, Judi Fox, you know?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Um, just good the connections you've built as well, you know, you talked
Speaker:about your dad having those relationships and, and it's important not just.
Speaker:Like for your dad to have them, but for all of us as men to build those
Speaker:relationships in the community around us.
Speaker:So Vinnie, I so appreciate everything you have shared today.
Speaker:Not just on, on the personality and, and how we can show up and build trust in
Speaker:ourselves, but dude, like it's a journey and we don't have to have it together.
Speaker:It's about showing up, doing our best and you know, um.
Speaker:Asking questions.
Speaker:I know we didn't talk about that, but when you're building a team
Speaker:around you, you gotta ask for help.
Speaker:Gotta ask for help.
Speaker:I love, yeah, dude, Vinnie, thank you.
Speaker:Thank you, bud.
Speaker:I so appreciate everything you shared, brother.
Speaker:I.
