Clarity and Direction Through Solo Retreats with Eli Libby and Kyle Nelson

Mike Forrester: 00:00:02

Hello and welcome back my friend, and this week's guests.

Mike Forrester: 00:00:06

Definitely there's the opportunity to recognize them.

Mike Forrester: 00:00:09

They are the most, uh, visited, I don't know most voiced voices.

Mike Forrester: 00:00:19

They're the most, uh, frequent guests that I've had, and that's because I, I

Mike Forrester: 00:00:23

believe sincerely in what they're doing.

Mike Forrester: 00:00:27

That would be Kyle Nelson and Eli Libby and their solo retreat has been just

Mike Forrester: 00:00:33

an experience that is life changing, something that helps you to not only gain.

Mike Forrester: 00:00:40

You know, that clarity that so many of us lack, because, I mean, be honest, how many

Mike Forrester: 00:00:45

of us are just going day to day to day and it's like Groundhog Day because the

Mike Forrester: 00:00:51

things that are coming at us, that task list, that list of priorities and things

Mike Forrester: 00:00:56

that people are expecting of us just not shorten , without some kind of, you know,

Mike Forrester: 00:01:00

real guidance and, and intentionality.

Mike Forrester: 00:01:04

That's what Kyle and Eli are providing.

Mike Forrester: 00:01:07

They're providing that clarity, that purpose, you know, that that drive

Mike Forrester: 00:01:12

just what so many of us are hungering for but don't know how to get it.

Mike Forrester: 00:01:16

'cause it wasn't something that was taught to us growing up.

Mike Forrester: 00:01:19

And so these two men just come from.

Mike Forrester: 00:01:23

The whole journey, right?

Mike Forrester: 00:01:25

They've gone through it, they've walked that path.

Mike Forrester: 00:01:27

It's not one of those things that, you know, the challenges are foreign to 'em.

Mike Forrester: 00:01:31

Um, they have walked this path and through a solo retreat is how

Mike Forrester: 00:01:37

they got to where they are now.

Mike Forrester: 00:01:39

So they're sharing that gift that they, experienced and allowing

Mike Forrester: 00:01:42

us to come alongside of them.

Mike Forrester: 00:01:44

And, uh, so Kyle and Eli, how are you guys doing today?

Mike Forrester: 00:01:47

My friends?

Kyle Nelson: 00:01:49

Hey, Mike.

Eli Libby: 00:01:49

Amazing man.

Eli Libby: 00:01:50

Thanks for the kind words, man.

Eli Libby: 00:01:51

So good to see you again.

Eli Libby: 00:01:52

Good.

Eli Libby: 00:01:53

So good to see you again.

Eli Libby: 00:01:54

Likewise.

Eli Libby: 00:01:54

You're looking great.

Mike Forrester: 00:01:55

I appreciate it.

Mike Forrester: 00:01:56

Thank you.

Mike Forrester: 00:01:57

Uh, it's been one of those that, you know, there's been some five Ks along the way.

Mike Forrester: 00:02:01

I took a little bit of a, uh, a break from that, got sick and had some other,

Mike Forrester: 00:02:06

you know, challenges more recently.

Mike Forrester: 00:02:08

But, uh, coming up here.

Mike Forrester: 00:02:11

Very soon I've got the adventure race with my family.

Mike Forrester: 00:02:14

So Sweet.

Mike Forrester: 00:02:15

Really excited about that, so.

Eli Libby: 00:02:17

Oh, that's awesome,

Mike Forrester: 00:02:18

dude.

Mike Forrester: 00:02:19

I mean, it's like, you know,

Mike Forrester: 00:02:21

like I, I look at Eli Eli's a new dad, and how many of us as dads have, you know,

Mike Forrester: 00:02:29

been like, Hey, I'd love to be there.

Mike Forrester: 00:02:30

I'd, you know, like to be mm-hmm.

Mike Forrester: 00:02:33

You know, at home experiencing what's going on.

Eli Libby: 00:02:36

Yep.

Mike Forrester: 00:02:37

The intentionality that you guys take in life.

Kyle Nelson: 00:02:40

Hmm.

Mike Forrester: 00:02:41

You know, Eli, you were like, you know, Hey, I'm gonna spend

Mike Forrester: 00:02:45

some time at home, unplug without, you know, Kyle being there to step up.

Mike Forrester: 00:02:52

You're unable to do that.

Kyle Nelson: 00:02:53

Hmm.

Mike Forrester: 00:02:54

But the two of you have the communication, you have a friendship,

Mike Forrester: 00:02:57

the relationship to be able to do that.

Mike Forrester: 00:03:00

And you're being, you know, set on what's important, which

Mike Forrester: 00:03:05

is something that dude, for.

Mike Forrester: 00:03:07

Vast majority of my life, I didn't know what was important aside from

Mike Forrester: 00:03:10

what's on TV or who's gonna be playing video games tonight, you know, like

Eli Libby: 00:03:14

mm-hmm.

Mike Forrester: 00:03:16

It was so shortsighted.

Kyle Nelson: 00:03:18

Yeah.

Mike Forrester: 00:03:18

And you know, you guys just are bringing the value

Mike Forrester: 00:03:24

not only to other people's lives, but you're making sure that it's

Mike Forrester: 00:03:26

priority one within your own life.

Mike Forrester: 00:03:28

You're walking that, that talk.

Mike Forrester: 00:03:30

So congratulations man.

Mike Forrester: 00:03:33

Uh, I'm just stoked to have you guys here, so I really appreciate you guys

Kyle Nelson: 00:03:38

coming back and,

Mike Forrester: 00:03:39

and sharing it.

Mike Forrester: 00:03:41

Thank you my friend.

Mike Forrester: 00:03:41

I appreciate it.

Mike Forrester: 00:03:42

so let's, let's start with the big, the big thing here.

Mike Forrester: 00:03:46

You guys have a new book coming out.

Mike Forrester: 00:03:50

Mm-hmm.

Mike Forrester: 00:03:50

Totally excited about it.

Mike Forrester: 00:03:53

You've already done a whole lot of work in creating the events.

Mike Forrester: 00:03:56

Um.

Mike Forrester: 00:03:57

You know, the, the book coming out I think makes this so

Mike Forrester: 00:04:01

much more accessible to guys.

Mike Forrester: 00:04:04

Mm-hmm.

Mike Forrester: 00:04:05

You know, to just pick up, to be able to kind of engage with where they're

Mike Forrester: 00:04:09

at going, is this right for me?

Mike Forrester: 00:04:12

Right.

Mike Forrester: 00:04:13

And so we'll get into, you know, more about the book and, and the difference

Mike Forrester: 00:04:17

between the retreat and the book.

Mike Forrester: 00:04:19

So that guys, you know, maybe they haven't heard the interviews with, you know, each

Mike Forrester: 00:04:24

of you individually or the one that we did last year or last season I should say.

Mike Forrester: 00:04:29

Mm-hmm.

Mike Forrester: 00:04:29

Um, about what a solo retreat is and the value, let's, you know, just

Mike Forrester: 00:04:35

kind of touch on your guys' stories because it's, like I said earlier,

Mike Forrester: 00:04:39

challenges are not unknown to you.

Mike Forrester: 00:04:40

You know, you've walked through some serious challenges and faced them

Mike Forrester: 00:04:44

and, and come out the other side.

Mike Forrester: 00:04:46

Um, and it took some strength and, and questioning what's going

Mike Forrester: 00:04:50

on and, and how do I do this?

Mike Forrester: 00:04:52

So, Kyle, if we can start with you.

Mike Forrester: 00:04:55

Yeah.

Mike Forrester: 00:04:55

Like give us an overview of like, dude, like how.

Mike Forrester: 00:05:00

How did you traverse those things and, and what did you have to go through, man?

Eli Libby: 00:05:04

Mm,

Kyle Nelson: 00:05:05

yeah, dude, always love sharing my story, um, on your podcast,

Kyle Nelson: 00:05:09

Mike, because you asked the right questions and it's a comfortable spot.

Kyle Nelson: 00:05:12

So, uh, back in, uh, November 8th, 2018, I was living in Paradise, California,

Kyle Nelson: 00:05:17

which for those of you that don't know where that is, it's about an hour and

Kyle Nelson: 00:05:19

a half north of Sacramento, California.

Kyle Nelson: 00:05:22

And I was living in the beautiful Sierra Nevada foothills.

Kyle Nelson: 00:05:25

I had a, a little business at the time doing portrait photography and

Kyle Nelson: 00:05:29

Eli and I were starting to do one of our businesses together, uh, called

Kyle Nelson: 00:05:32

Results Imagery, and uh, I was in a really perfect moment in my life.

Kyle Nelson: 00:05:36

I was, you know, finally adulting correctly.

Kyle Nelson: 00:05:38

I was making some all right money for mid twenties.

Kyle Nelson: 00:05:41

Like I had a new child that was, um, you know, a few years old.

Kyle Nelson: 00:05:45

And, uh, I was really excited, uh, just to finally we bought this home.

Kyle Nelson: 00:05:50

We've been living there for a couple years, but unfortunately on November

Kyle Nelson: 00:05:52

8th, one of those wildfires hit Northern California like they always do.

Kyle Nelson: 00:05:57

And when you live in Northern California, it's just by the wayside.

Kyle Nelson: 00:06:01

Like, oh, maybe there's temporary evacuations, but you just, you

Kyle Nelson: 00:06:03

live it and you're used to it.

Kyle Nelson: 00:06:05

But this one was different.

Kyle Nelson: 00:06:06

It was growing.

Kyle Nelson: 00:06:07

Um, football fields a second.

Kyle Nelson: 00:06:09

It was growing so fast.

Kyle Nelson: 00:06:10

A hundred mile per hour plus winds, gusts of winds, uh, and paradise.

Kyle Nelson: 00:06:15

California is a land trap.

Kyle Nelson: 00:06:17

There's only one way in and one way out, um, from multiple cities where

Kyle Nelson: 00:06:21

60,000 people live in this area.

Kyle Nelson: 00:06:24

And I, unfortunately was one of 'em.

Kyle Nelson: 00:06:26

Uh, and sure enough, you know, I lost my home in that fire.

Kyle Nelson: 00:06:29

Uh, my parents lost their home in the fire.

Kyle Nelson: 00:06:31

They're about a mile away, having to help them get out as well.

Kyle Nelson: 00:06:35

Um, battled on the road to get outta there through very, very tall flames.

Kyle Nelson: 00:06:40

I get chills even thinking about it, seeing some very crazy

Kyle Nelson: 00:06:43

stuff, getting outta there.

Kyle Nelson: 00:06:44

Um.

Kyle Nelson: 00:06:45

It was really scary and I, my life was threatened, but unfortunately the day

Kyle Nelson: 00:06:49

before that, me and my wife actually had our first miscarriage as well.

Kyle Nelson: 00:06:53

So there was a lot of death in my life in a span of 24 hours.

Kyle Nelson: 00:06:56

And, um, the first thing I knew I needed to do though, was I needed

Kyle Nelson: 00:07:01

to be the backbone of my family.

Kyle Nelson: 00:07:02

I needed to be resilient.

Kyle Nelson: 00:07:04

I needed to make sure to take care of them.

Kyle Nelson: 00:07:06

And that goes for my wife, my son, my dog, and my two parents.

Kyle Nelson: 00:07:09

And by the way, I've got a business that I've lost, and Eli and I are

Kyle Nelson: 00:07:12

trying to build this other one.

Kyle Nelson: 00:07:14

So what I did was I suppressed my feelings.

Kyle Nelson: 00:07:16

I didn't deal with them 'cause I just know I needed to move forward.

Kyle Nelson: 00:07:18

I didn't wanna be left in a doomed day kind of style of living.

Kyle Nelson: 00:07:23

I knew that if I pushed forward, I could get the family to move

Kyle Nelson: 00:07:26

and find that normalcy we needed.

Kyle Nelson: 00:07:28

Um, but unfortunately when you suppress feelings for so long, they do start to

Kyle Nelson: 00:07:33

trickle out in different ways and through, for me it was, um, severe anxiety,

Kyle Nelson: 00:07:38

depression and PTSD, you know, we moved up to Bend, Oregon, uh, and wildfires are.

Kyle Nelson: 00:07:43

Very bad up here as well.

Kyle Nelson: 00:07:45

Uh, and I just started seeing plumes and the ptsd.

Kyle Nelson: 00:07:49

TSD was real.

Kyle Nelson: 00:07:50

Um, and I went to therapist and sure enough, you know, the severe

Kyle Nelson: 00:07:52

anxiety, depression and PTSD, I was diagnosed with that and I started

Kyle Nelson: 00:07:55

learning about that about myself.

Kyle Nelson: 00:07:57

But as I was going through that learning experience, those emotions and suppression

Kyle Nelson: 00:08:01

was no longer, and it started to really come out like heavy, um, until April

Kyle Nelson: 00:08:06

21st, 2020 1, 4 30 in the morning.

Kyle Nelson: 00:08:08

I woke up completely numb.

Kyle Nelson: 00:08:10

Looked at myself in the mirror.

Kyle Nelson: 00:08:11

I didn't know who that person was looking back, and I was ready to commit suicide

Kyle Nelson: 00:08:15

that day, and I had no other option in my mind to, to, to be able to take

Kyle Nelson: 00:08:22

care of the pain I was going through.

Kyle Nelson: 00:08:24

And, uh, God willing, I heard the word escape.

Kyle Nelson: 00:08:27

And so luckily when I heard the word escape in that moment, I

Kyle Nelson: 00:08:31

didn't look like it as suicide.

Kyle Nelson: 00:08:33

I looked at it as I need to escape.

Kyle Nelson: 00:08:36

The noise, the reality that I'm living in right now, and I

Kyle Nelson: 00:08:39

have to deal with this head on.

Kyle Nelson: 00:08:41

And so sure enough, that is what I did.

Kyle Nelson: 00:08:43

I went and did my own solo retreat.

Kyle Nelson: 00:08:45

Uh, my wife helped me do some very primitive prompts,

Kyle Nelson: 00:08:48

journal prompts and exercises.

Kyle Nelson: 00:08:49

But the biggest thing is I need to turn off everything that was

Kyle Nelson: 00:08:52

going on and I need to re-identify who I was moving forward.

Kyle Nelson: 00:08:56

And that's what I did over a 72 hour period.

Kyle Nelson: 00:08:58

And I came back, completely changed, man.

Kyle Nelson: 00:09:00

I laughed, I cried, uh, and I really figured out what was next in my life.

Kyle Nelson: 00:09:04

Um.

Kyle Nelson: 00:09:05

I came back stoked to get back in the office.

Kyle Nelson: 00:09:08

I was the dad, the husband, the son, the business partner and friend that

Kyle Nelson: 00:09:13

I knew I needed to be to support others, um, and to support myself.

Kyle Nelson: 00:09:17

And so I came back full force.

Kyle Nelson: 00:09:20

And during that time, Eli went through some hardship.

Kyle Nelson: 00:09:25

Uh, but the one thing I learned by going on a solo retreat is the

Kyle Nelson: 00:09:28

gift that was given to me from the word escape wasn't just for me.

Kyle Nelson: 00:09:35

This has turned into a domino ripple effect to help other people.

Kyle Nelson: 00:09:39

But when you go through that pain in that moment, you don't see it.

Kyle Nelson: 00:09:43

Right?

Kyle Nelson: 00:09:43

You're like, there's no, like, there's no way this is for others.

Kyle Nelson: 00:09:46

This is like what I'm figuring out for myself.

Kyle Nelson: 00:09:48

But knowing now, looking back in retrospect, like it's amazing that I

Kyle Nelson: 00:09:52

went through that experience because of the impact we've been able to make.

Mike Forrester: 00:09:56

Yeah, I think the fact that, uh.

Mike Forrester: 00:10:01

You listed off all these other things like who you are to other people.

Kyle Nelson: 00:10:06

Yeah,

Mike Forrester: 00:10:06

dude.

Mike Forrester: 00:10:07

If we're not able to be there for ourselves, right, we're not able

Mike Forrester: 00:10:11

to show up in those other roles at any kind of healthy capacity.

Mike Forrester: 00:10:16

Right?

Mike Forrester: 00:10:17

Absolutely.

Mike Forrester: 00:10:18

And so you've been able to come back for yourself, I think is like the

Mike Forrester: 00:10:21

foundation that so many of us miss because we push and push and push.

Mike Forrester: 00:10:25

Until there's nothing left to push with.

Kyle Nelson: 00:10:29

Absolutely.

Mike Forrester: 00:10:29

Um, so, you know, to me that shows the power of a retreat.

Kyle Nelson: 00:10:35

Yeah.

Mike Forrester: 00:10:35

And giving ourselves permission to take time for ourselves,

Mike Forrester: 00:10:39

because oftentimes we'll give permission to everybody else for what they're doing.

Mike Forrester: 00:10:44

But we don.

Mike Forrester: 00:10:45

Allow ourselves or feel worthy mm-hmm.

Mike Forrester: 00:10:48

To be able to be given permission.

Mike Forrester: 00:10:50

I love the fact that you did that.

Mike Forrester: 00:10:52

Um, thank you.

Mike Forrester: 00:10:53

So, yeah,

Kyle Nelson: 00:10:54

that it's, the permission piece is really important.

Kyle Nelson: 00:10:56

And when your tank is completely empty and you don't see anything

Kyle Nelson: 00:10:59

left, any other options.

Kyle Nelson: 00:11:01

The whole program we have, the most difficult thing you're gonna do is

Kyle Nelson: 00:11:05

giving yourself that permission.

Kyle Nelson: 00:11:08

And it takes you to do it.

Kyle Nelson: 00:11:09

We can help people walk through it.

Kyle Nelson: 00:11:11

We can help them figure it out, but

Eli Libby: 00:11:12

mm-hmm.

Kyle Nelson: 00:11:13

If you can't give yourself that permission, that's,

Kyle Nelson: 00:11:15

that's the sticking point.

Eli Libby: 00:11:16

Especially as men.

Eli Libby: 00:11:17

Mm-hmm.

Eli Libby: 00:11:18

Men have the hardest time doing that.

Eli Libby: 00:11:21

Typically they are, like Kyle said, the backbone of a family.

Eli Libby: 00:11:24

They put everybody else.

Eli Libby: 00:11:25

In front of themselves, and as a result, it's cooped up.

Eli Libby: 00:11:30

Um, and it, and it boils over one day or can, it can boil over if you don't

Eli Libby: 00:11:34

give yourself that permission and worthiness that you talked about, Mike.

Mike Forrester: 00:11:38

Yeah.

Mike Forrester: 00:11:39

Well, Eli, I wanna make sure we talk about the challenges you faced.

Mike Forrester: 00:11:42

'cause those were, those were monumental, man.

Mike Forrester: 00:11:45

So I want to touch on, you know, just, just as the pivotal, uh,

Mike Forrester: 00:11:51

challenges that Kyle moved through, I want to talk about yours as well.

Eli Libby: 00:11:54

Yeah.

Eli Libby: 00:11:55

Of course, and thankful for Kyle going through what he did.

Eli Libby: 00:11:58

I mean, it sounds bad to say, but if he didn't go through what he went

Eli Libby: 00:12:02

through, not only is this program likely not changing hundreds of people's

Eli Libby: 00:12:06

lives, it doesn't change mine either.

Eli Libby: 00:12:08

And when he had gotten back, everything happens for a reason.

Eli Libby: 00:12:12

So he came back, um, within I think a month of that.

Eli Libby: 00:12:16

In a two week period, I lost my great uncle who was this amazing

Eli Libby: 00:12:20

veteran, but also this amazing North star in my, in my life.

Eli Libby: 00:12:24

I took a lot from him.

Eli Libby: 00:12:26

Uh, our business crumbled and then I found out I was being cheated on

Eli Libby: 00:12:29

my, and my marriage ended, and this all happened in a two week period.

Eli Libby: 00:12:33

So as a man, I know, you know the audience out there, there are multiple, um.

Eli Libby: 00:12:40

Legs of things for, for men.

Eli Libby: 00:12:42

And one of them is providing for your family.

Eli Libby: 00:12:43

It's a primal instinct that men have.

Eli Libby: 00:12:46

So when that is pulled out from under you and the business crumbles, and

Eli Libby: 00:12:49

on top of that, your relationship or what you thought was, um, uh,

Eli Libby: 00:12:53

something that you give your word to as a man, I think is a big part.

Eli Libby: 00:12:56

And when that crumbles and then you lose a cornerstone in your life, you

Eli Libby: 00:13:00

start to really crumble as a man.

Eli Libby: 00:13:02

And the questions that keep coming up, at least in my head, but

Eli Libby: 00:13:05

I know from experience talking to other guys, is, is it me?

Eli Libby: 00:13:09

That the, the, the question in your head is, is it me?

Eli Libby: 00:13:12

Is it me?

Eli Libby: 00:13:12

'cause of the business, obviously I didn't have control over my great

Eli Libby: 00:13:15

uncle, but that just happened.

Eli Libby: 00:13:16

And when it rains, it pours.

Eli Libby: 00:13:18

And then the business and the marriage is like, is that because of me?

Eli Libby: 00:13:23

So when I went off and did my solo retreat, I took these prompts, I

Eli Libby: 00:13:27

went through very deep inner work to really hammered out that question.

Eli Libby: 00:13:31

That's a limiting belief.

Eli Libby: 00:13:32

There's emotional baggage tied.

Eli Libby: 00:13:34

To both of those.

Eli Libby: 00:13:36

And when I was in my solo retreat, 90 pages in hammering out my purpose

Eli Libby: 00:13:41

and my why, I was able to break free and rewire that question, is it me?

Eli Libby: 00:13:46

And I was able to like completely drop that and disregard all that baggage and

Eli Libby: 00:13:51

now move forward in a positive light.

Eli Libby: 00:13:54

And like Kyle said, at that moment.

Eli Libby: 00:13:57

I had just this breakthrough, like, we've gotta get this in, in everybody's

Eli Libby: 00:14:01

hands that are, is going through, whether it's trauma, uh, new chapter in life

Eli Libby: 00:14:06

healing or, or even a proactive measure.

Eli Libby: 00:14:08

How can we do that?

Eli Libby: 00:14:10

And that was the mission that is burning inside of both of us till this day.

Eli Libby: 00:14:14

And it will always be there.

Mike Forrester: 00:14:16

Yeah, I was gonna say, that's one of those life changing

Mike Forrester: 00:14:18

things that it's like, it doesn't fade, it just continues to burn brighter.

Mike Forrester: 00:14:24

Gonna look at it.

Mike Forrester: 00:14:25

Yeah.

Mike Forrester: 00:14:25

A hundred percent.

Mike Forrester: 00:14:26

Well, let's love that.

Mike Forrester: 00:14:27

Let's, let's, you know, we talked about the book that it's, you know, coming out,

Mike Forrester: 00:14:33

um, huge accomplishment, super excited for both of you and for those of us, you know,

Mike Forrester: 00:14:39

being able to pick it up and read it.

Mike Forrester: 00:14:40

I'm like, this is awesome.

Mike Forrester: 00:14:43

What is in the book?

Mike Forrester: 00:14:45

Can you give us like a high level, uh, overview of, of what the book

Mike Forrester: 00:14:48

contains and what you can expect, you know, kind of coming out of, of.

Mike Forrester: 00:14:53

Going through the book and its process and and activities.

Eli Libby: 00:14:57

Sure.

: 00:14:57

Yeah.

Eli Libby: 00:14:58

So a big reason for the book and why somebody would pick it up is

Eli Libby: 00:15:04

there, is there, they're at a moment in life where they're lacking clarity.

Eli Libby: 00:15:08

Might be in a new chapter of life and they're looking, maybe things

Eli Libby: 00:15:11

haven't worked in the past, maybe they've tried coaching therapy, maybe

Eli Libby: 00:15:15

they've done group kind of raw, raw style retreats and nothing has worked.

Eli Libby: 00:15:19

The power of this book is to show you.

Eli Libby: 00:15:22

How to do a solo retreat and the power of solitude.

Eli Libby: 00:15:25

Mm. And the foundation of everything that we did, and you can hear it in both of

Eli Libby: 00:15:30

our stories, is we removed the noise.

Eli Libby: 00:15:33

Men, we, we'll speak to men because this is what the

Eli Libby: 00:15:36

audiences here is, cannot unplug.

Eli Libby: 00:15:39

It's so hard.

Eli Libby: 00:15:40

Is, is, uh, high achievers, call 'em that as a big bucket to unplug, to

Eli Libby: 00:15:45

disconnect, to be intentional, to be in the moment that is the ground floor

Eli Libby: 00:15:50

of what is containing in this book.

Eli Libby: 00:15:52

Which is how to remove the noise and the power and the,

Eli Libby: 00:15:56

there's some neuroscience on.

Eli Libby: 00:15:58

Why is it so important?

Kyle Nelson: 00:16:01

Yeah, I, you know, the, the cool part, the way that

Kyle Nelson: 00:16:03

we structured this book, um, is we really wanted to make people

Kyle Nelson: 00:16:08

understand that solo retreats aren't.

Kyle Nelson: 00:16:13

Something that should feel foreign.

Kyle Nelson: 00:16:14

It shouldn't feel scary to go on.

Kyle Nelson: 00:16:16

Uh, and there's a really easy way just to go do it on your own.

Kyle Nelson: 00:16:21

And so, mm-hmm.

Kyle Nelson: 00:16:23

We crafted this book to make it very easy to read.

Kyle Nelson: 00:16:26

It's not a very long book, and we've made it so you can see

Kyle Nelson: 00:16:29

that there's a path forward.

: 00:16:31

Mm-hmm.

Kyle Nelson: 00:16:31

So we can be proactive about.

Kyle Nelson: 00:16:34

What may happen in our future than just being reactive because the one

Kyle Nelson: 00:16:37

thing I want everyone to do is go onto these retreats and figure themselves

Kyle Nelson: 00:16:41

out before that breaking point happens.

Kyle Nelson: 00:16:43

And we both went through those breaking points and luckily this like

Kyle Nelson: 00:16:46

retreat thing happened, otherwise I don't know what could have happened.

Kyle Nelson: 00:16:49

So, um, yeah, we're really excited to get the book in people's hands.

Eli Libby: 00:16:54

And I think likewise, like a big part of it too is,

Eli Libby: 00:16:57

uh, sharing from experience.

Eli Libby: 00:16:59

Mm-hmm.

Eli Libby: 00:16:59

Like a lot of the beginning part of the book.

Eli Libby: 00:17:01

It talks about what we went through a little bit more in depth.

Eli Libby: 00:17:05

It talks about those stories from a very authentic space of experience.

Eli Libby: 00:17:12

Mm-hmm.

Eli Libby: 00:17:12

And that's what we believe in, is authenticity to its core.

Eli Libby: 00:17:15

And the book does a great job of, um, meeting a man where

Eli Libby: 00:17:19

they are meeting them exactly.

Eli Libby: 00:17:21

At the point that they could be in their life.

Eli Libby: 00:17:23

Yeah.

Eli Libby: 00:17:23

And it does a good job of doing that and then gives them, like Kyle

Eli Libby: 00:17:26

said, a path forward and structure.

Eli Libby: 00:17:29

How to potentially get past that hurdle that they're in in life.

Mike Forrester: 00:17:34

So we talked about like, you know, in the previous episode,

Mike Forrester: 00:17:40

why to do a solo retreat experience.

Mike Forrester: 00:17:44

Why the book, I mean, is, is the book bridging something that was missing?

Mike Forrester: 00:17:50

Is it mm-hmm.

Mike Forrester: 00:17:51

Another way to get it in, in as an introduction.

Mike Forrester: 00:17:55

I mean, like why the book?

Mike Forrester: 00:17:57

Um.

Mike Forrester: 00:17:59

You know, when you have the experience available,

Kyle Nelson: 00:18:02

the book offers a secondary option that's part

Kyle Nelson: 00:18:06

of the norm in life, right?

Kyle Nelson: 00:18:07

Most times when people feel like they may have a lack of clarity,

Kyle Nelson: 00:18:11

they may be confused, foggy, they don't have, uh, a clear path forward.

Kyle Nelson: 00:18:16

They instantly go to therapy.

Kyle Nelson: 00:18:18

They instantly think coaching.

Kyle Nelson: 00:18:20

They instantly think all the different programs that you can do out there.

Kyle Nelson: 00:18:24

This gives you an alternative option, and what this book can

Kyle Nelson: 00:18:26

do is it can educate you to see if it's the right option for you.

Kyle Nelson: 00:18:31

And we're gonna talk about in the book a little bit about the power of what you

Kyle Nelson: 00:18:35

can actually get out of a solo retreat, the science behind it, why it actually

Kyle Nelson: 00:18:39

works when you turn everything off.

Kyle Nelson: 00:18:41

Uh, science backed papers in there that talk about what's happening in your

Kyle Nelson: 00:18:45

brain during solitude and stillness.

Kyle Nelson: 00:18:47

What's being turned off and why are things coming from that deep inner voice?

Kyle Nelson: 00:18:50

Why is that getting louder?

Kyle Nelson: 00:18:52

Uh, and we have a full framework behind it as well.

Kyle Nelson: 00:18:55

So when you go and take a solo retreat, we have the reset framework.

Kyle Nelson: 00:18:58

We break down what each one of those are, which is remove the noise, engage with the

Kyle Nelson: 00:19:02

present, see what's true, envision what's next, and then taking aligned action.

Kyle Nelson: 00:19:06

And then we can talk about a little bit about what is a reset rhythm you can

Kyle Nelson: 00:19:10

do in your own life, whether it's five minutes a day, uh, maybe it's a day,

Kyle Nelson: 00:19:15

three days, monthly check-ins, whatever that is, to see where it fits for you.

Kyle Nelson: 00:19:19

And then our program is a structured way to do that.

Kyle Nelson: 00:19:22

Having someone that you're having being kept the, um, accountability from someone

Kyle Nelson: 00:19:27

coaching you through it afterwards, a debrief call, but really the workbooks,

Kyle Nelson: 00:19:30

the journal prompts, the exercise and activities that we wish we would've had

Kyle Nelson: 00:19:34

that were very primitive at the time to help you walk through that structure.

Kyle Nelson: 00:19:37

So it's not as scary.

Kyle Nelson: 00:19:39

So you're not just showing up at a cabin.

Kyle Nelson: 00:19:41

Hoping something happens.

Kyle Nelson: 00:19:42

Mm-hmm.

Kyle Nelson: 00:19:42

Right.

Kyle Nelson: 00:19:43

We wanna make sure you're prepared and ready to go to walk you through that.

Kyle Nelson: 00:19:46

And so the book can help you get started on solo Retreat.

Kyle Nelson: 00:19:48

You definitely can take one after reading the book, but our program will

Kyle Nelson: 00:19:51

actually help you through that process.

Mike Forrester: 00:19:54

Cool.

Mike Forrester: 00:19:55

Okay.

Mike Forrester: 00:19:55

So.

Mike Forrester: 00:19:58

When is the best time to pick up the book?

Mike Forrester: 00:20:01

I mean, do do I need to be in the midst of that challenge or is it only

Mike Forrester: 00:20:08

if you know, Hey, I'm in the middle of smooth sailing, like is there a time.

Mike Forrester: 00:20:14

I know those are rare and far and few between.

Mike Forrester: 00:20:17

Right.

Mike Forrester: 00:20:17

In all honesty.

Mike Forrester: 00:20:19

Yeah.

Mike Forrester: 00:20:20

It's like smooth sailing.

Mike Forrester: 00:20:21

That's so find out.

Mike Forrester: 00:20:22

Yeah.

Mike Forrester: 00:20:22

You're in hippie

Eli Libby: 00:20:22

phase now, apparently.

Eli Libby: 00:20:23

Yeah.

Eli Libby: 00:20:23

Yes, exactly.

Mike Forrester: 00:20:26

Um, but is, is there a best time or is any

Mike Forrester: 00:20:31

time good to pick up the book?

Mike Forrester: 00:20:34

Sure.

Eli Libby: 00:20:35

I think you could make an argument for both sides on both.

Eli Libby: 00:20:39

Both parts of the fence there.

Eli Libby: 00:20:40

You could.

Eli Libby: 00:20:41

Most people are gonna pick this up in the time that they need it.

Eli Libby: 00:20:44

They're lacking clarity.

Eli Libby: 00:20:45

There's no structure.

Eli Libby: 00:20:46

Things seem to be falling, um, apart in their life.

Eli Libby: 00:20:50

I'd say that's probably when 70% of people will buy.

Eli Libby: 00:20:53

The other 30% will be proactive measures.

Eli Libby: 00:20:56

Like Kyle mentioned before, the breaking point, we like to say you, we want you

Eli Libby: 00:21:01

to dig the well before you're thirsty, meaning you wanna have that prepared and

Eli Libby: 00:21:06

ready to go so that you have the tool chest when that breaking point does come.

Eli Libby: 00:21:10

I need to remove the noise.

Eli Libby: 00:21:12

I need to create some solitude and I need to hear that inner voice again.

Eli Libby: 00:21:17

The book does a great job speaking to both.

Eli Libby: 00:21:20

Um, we seem to.

Eli Libby: 00:21:22

Use the book, and we've already started to use the book as a great touch point

Eli Libby: 00:21:27

for people that might be on the fence about a solo retreat, and not to sell

Eli Libby: 00:21:32

them on a solo retreat, but more to have that genuine touch point of, Hey, Mike,

Eli Libby: 00:21:37

you know, solo retreat might not be in the cards right now, whether it's budget,

Eli Libby: 00:21:40

whether it's time, whether you might not be in the right mental space to do one.

Eli Libby: 00:21:44

Can we send you the book and can we highlight a chapter for you to read?

Eli Libby: 00:21:48

I know you're crazy busy.

Eli Libby: 00:21:49

You've got no time.

Eli Libby: 00:21:50

You've got five kids to manage, but just read this one chapter

Eli Libby: 00:21:54

and it's been fun to give that.

Eli Libby: 00:21:56

Again, I talked about authenticity and being a genuine, uh, people and coaches.

Eli Libby: 00:22:02

This gives us the opportunity to do that to that audience that we talked about.

Eli Libby: 00:22:06

That 70% of people that are looking at you going on a retreat and reading the book.

: 00:22:11

Mm-hmm.

: 00:22:12

Yeah.

Mike Forrester: 00:22:13

My wife was the man one that managed the five kids.

Mike Forrester: 00:22:16

I was the oldest, so you know, I only had to manage four.

Mike Forrester: 00:22:20

I was barely getting myself, you know, but, uh, yeah.

Mike Forrester: 00:22:24

Well you talked about some different times, like mm-hmm.

Mike Forrester: 00:22:29

Is there a certain person that this is for or is it for everybody, you

Mike Forrester: 00:22:35

know, like is everybody gonna gain something Right from reading the book?

Kyle Nelson: 00:22:40

Yeah.

Kyle Nelson: 00:22:40

I wanted to touch on actually kind of the opposite of what you were saying

Kyle Nelson: 00:22:43

as well, is a solo retreat is also great for someone that thinks they're

Kyle Nelson: 00:22:48

aligned and they're on the right path, and it gives them a time to

Kyle Nelson: 00:22:51

take a step back to make sure mm-hmm.

Kyle Nelson: 00:22:53

That that's a thing.

Kyle Nelson: 00:22:53

We've had several people where they're like, this solo retreat's not for me.

Kyle Nelson: 00:22:57

I, this, I'm, I'm good.

Kyle Nelson: 00:22:58

Like I'm clear money's coming in, my relationships are good.

Kyle Nelson: 00:23:02

And then we said, well, you actually sound a little nervous about.

Kyle Nelson: 00:23:05

Are you on the right track?

Kyle Nelson: 00:23:07

And the second we planted that, they were like, he was like, yeah, you're right.

Kyle Nelson: 00:23:10

Because then it'll take away the second guessing and the anxiety I'm

Kyle Nelson: 00:23:13

having of like, is this actually real?

Kyle Nelson: 00:23:15

Is this actually the path I need to take?

Kyle Nelson: 00:23:17

And so that's really helpful, um, to be able to help people through that process.

Kyle Nelson: 00:23:22

Uh, what was the follow question?

Kyle Nelson: 00:23:24

It was, uh, so

Eli Libby: 00:23:25

in terms of like when people will take answer?

Eli Libby: 00:23:28

No, that was, that was good because that was a great point.

Eli Libby: 00:23:29

Yeah.

Eli Libby: 00:23:30

To your, like what Kyle's saying too, is.

Eli Libby: 00:23:33

People say that they can't sleep at night.

Eli Libby: 00:23:34

Oh yeah.

Eli Libby: 00:23:35

They tell us they can't sleep at night.

Eli Libby: 00:23:36

They're like, man, I have way too much stuff going on.

Eli Libby: 00:23:38

I don't know if I'm, you know, doing the right things and

Eli Libby: 00:23:41

they can't sleep at night.

Eli Libby: 00:23:42

But if we flip the script and say, what if you can validate your feelings,

Eli Libby: 00:23:47

and maybe that is the right path that allows 'em to sleep better at night.

Eli Libby: 00:23:50

Right.

Eli Libby: 00:23:51

The people that are coming to, to your question, who is it good for?

Eli Libby: 00:23:56

It is so, it is like a shotgun blast of who could use a solo retreat,

Eli Libby: 00:24:02

but who we primarily see are.

Eli Libby: 00:24:05

New chapters and transitions of life, whether that is a dad moving into, uh,

Eli Libby: 00:24:09

being an empty nester and having to, you know, build this relationship back

Eli Libby: 00:24:13

with his spouse for the last 18 years that they really haven't connected well.

Eli Libby: 00:24:17

Maybe it's an entrepreneur that sold the business.

Eli Libby: 00:24:20

Now that identity went with that acquisition, now

Eli Libby: 00:24:22

they're just completely lost.

Eli Libby: 00:24:24

What's next?

Eli Libby: 00:24:24

What am I gonna do?

Eli Libby: 00:24:25

Who am I?

Eli Libby: 00:24:26

And we all, we see a lot of trauma too.

Eli Libby: 00:24:28

A lot of, a lot of trauma healing going through a divorce.

Eli Libby: 00:24:31

Um, that's seems to be a really big one that we see Grieving.

Eli Libby: 00:24:34

Grieving is another really big one.

Kyle Nelson: 00:24:36

Yeah.

Kyle Nelson: 00:24:37

You know, it, it's really, it's across the board for anybody that needs to.

Kyle Nelson: 00:24:41

Really recertify who they are and taking a step back.

Kyle Nelson: 00:24:45

Yeah, and it's hard to say it's for every individual, but solitude and stillness

Kyle Nelson: 00:24:49

and time and self-worth is for everybody, and people don't know how to do it.

Kyle Nelson: 00:24:55

They don't know how to actually go and take a step back and give themselves

Kyle Nelson: 00:24:58

permission, but then what do I do?

Kyle Nelson: 00:24:59

Right?

Kyle Nelson: 00:25:00

You don't have structure behind it.

Kyle Nelson: 00:25:01

And so we're providing structure to help you do that self-reflection, to help

Kyle Nelson: 00:25:05

you do that self-discovery, and then vision and craft what's next in life.

Kyle Nelson: 00:25:10

Otherwise, you just kind of are in this hum of life in the hamster wheel.

Kyle Nelson: 00:25:14

Mm-hmm.

Kyle Nelson: 00:25:14

We're, we're sprinting thinking that's momentum, but we're just in place.

Kyle Nelson: 00:25:18

We're not actually moving forward.

Kyle Nelson: 00:25:20

So we help people get out of that hamster wheel and actually

Kyle Nelson: 00:25:23

finally start moving forward.

Mike Forrester: 00:25:25

Yeah.

Mike Forrester: 00:25:26

So it sounds like whether things are.

Mike Forrester: 00:25:29

Are a challenge and are going, you know, bad, I've lost a job, right?

Mike Forrester: 00:25:33

Mm-hmm.

Mike Forrester: 00:25:33

You know, divorced, whatever the case may be.

Mike Forrester: 00:25:35

Or they're going, well, you know, Hey, I have my goals.

Mike Forrester: 00:25:39

I'm, I'm knocking 'em out.

Mike Forrester: 00:25:42

Either case can benefit from it because you're elevating right, and either

Mike Forrester: 00:25:47

giving clarity or giving assurance.

Mike Forrester: 00:25:50

Through the clarity mm-hmm.

Mike Forrester: 00:25:51

Mm-hmm.

Mike Forrester: 00:25:51

For people to say, yes, this is actually what you're meant for.

Mike Forrester: 00:25:55

So you're not wasting time.

: 00:25:57

Right.

Mike Forrester: 00:25:58

Wondering and, and all that spent, uh, you know, necessary

Mike Forrester: 00:26:02

energy, um, being spent there.

Mike Forrester: 00:26:05

Um, exactly.

Mike Forrester: 00:26:06

You know, it, it's so funny 'cause it comes to mind, you know, like.

Mike Forrester: 00:26:09

The, the joke of, you know, what do we do with our, our emotions?

Mike Forrester: 00:26:13

We bury 'em in our muscles.

Mike Forrester: 00:26:15

Why do we get bigger muscles, you know, to bury, you know,

Mike Forrester: 00:26:18

more emotions or bury 'em deeper?

Mike Forrester: 00:26:21

And it's like, this is a way to bring 'em out so that you're not

Mike Forrester: 00:26:28

having like that toxic landfill

: 00:26:31

mm-hmm.

Mike Forrester: 00:26:31

That so many of us are walking through thinking it's

Mike Forrester: 00:26:33

the only way to get through life.

Mike Forrester: 00:26:36

Here's an alternative way.

Mike Forrester: 00:26:38

And it means you'll be in a happier place, a healthier place, and be able to go after

Mike Forrester: 00:26:45

the success that you want in life knowing that that's actually what you want.

Mike Forrester: 00:26:49

Not just something you saw on TikTok or YouTube that somebody else, um,

Mike Forrester: 00:26:54

you know, has as you know, their dream life that they're showing off, or that

Mike Forrester: 00:26:59

your parents or somebody else told you, Hey, this is who you need to be.

Mike Forrester: 00:27:03

You're giving us an opportunity to really understand.

Mike Forrester: 00:27:07

Hey, this is the North Star.

Mike Forrester: 00:27:08

This is who you are and Yep.

Mike Forrester: 00:27:10

And how you can get there.

Mike Forrester: 00:27:12

Exactly.

Eli Libby: 00:27:12

That's a great way, that's a great way to put it.

Mike Forrester: 00:27:15

Yeah.

Mike Forrester: 00:27:15

I

Eli Libby: 00:27:15

think most of us are missing that.

Eli Libby: 00:27:17

For sure.

Eli Libby: 00:27:18

Or they're, like you said, trying to go after a different life that's

Eli Libby: 00:27:20

not actually authentic to them.

Eli Libby: 00:27:22

Right.

Eli Libby: 00:27:22

There was an Oscar Wilde quote that is one of my favorites.

Eli Libby: 00:27:25

I, it's one that like is sticks out in my head when you say that is be yourself.

Eli Libby: 00:27:30

Everybody else has taken, I think that has like just stuck in my head so much that

Eli Libby: 00:27:35

like, you've gotta be your own person.

Eli Libby: 00:27:37

And I think it speaks to what you just

Mike Forrester: 00:27:39

said.

Mike Forrester: 00:27:39

Mm-hmm.

Mike Forrester: 00:27:40

Yeah.

Mike Forrester: 00:27:41

It's, it's one of those of why be a fraud.

Mike Forrester: 00:27:44

You know, it, it, it, it's harder work than being yourself.

Mike Forrester: 00:27:48

Well, I don't know about you guys, but I'm guilty of this where I will buy books.

: 00:27:53

Mm.

Mike Forrester: 00:27:55

And they will go on the shelf, or they go on

Mike Forrester: 00:27:57

the desk and they get buried.

Mike Forrester: 00:27:59

If it's not the dus, you know, and then it's papers and, and the

Mike Forrester: 00:28:03

chaos and, and just, you know, the.

Mike Forrester: 00:28:06

The stress of daily life, right?

Mike Forrester: 00:28:08

The things that go on that are louder in our face.

Mike Forrester: 00:28:12

So when that book arrives, you know, I, I jump on Amazon, I

Mike Forrester: 00:28:16

go, I want this book, boom.

Mike Forrester: 00:28:19

When that book arrives on my doorstep or in my Kindle iPad, How, how would

Mike Forrester: 00:28:24

you guys guide me as somebody who's just gotten your book to take action on

Mike Forrester: 00:28:30

what's in the book and actually finish it to, you know, then execute and move

Mike Forrester: 00:28:35

forward and it not just be, again, covered in dust on my desk or just

Mike Forrester: 00:28:41

platitudes that were cool, you know?

Mike Forrester: 00:28:44

Sure.

Kyle Nelson: 00:28:47

We wrote this book, uh.

Kyle Nelson: 00:28:49

To make it an easy read so it's not daunting because we are just like you.

Kyle Nelson: 00:28:54

We see that the new book's out and then we see it and we're

Kyle Nelson: 00:28:56

like, wow, that's a 350 page book.

Kyle Nelson: 00:29:00

Like that's gonna take me months to read.

Kyle Nelson: 00:29:02

Right?

Kyle Nelson: 00:29:03

It's not this crazy PhD level reading.

Kyle Nelson: 00:29:06

We wrote it for the average individual to be able to read

Kyle Nelson: 00:29:09

through this in a few sittings.

Kyle Nelson: 00:29:11

Chapters are no longer than 15, 20 pages, and we wanted to make it so when

Kyle Nelson: 00:29:16

you're reading it, it's an easy read.

Kyle Nelson: 00:29:18

We have sub subheaders in each one that Ty talks about.

Kyle Nelson: 00:29:22

Like for example, for the chapter, remove the noise.

Kyle Nelson: 00:29:25

It starts off with a quick introduction, and then we go to why do we normalize

Kyle Nelson: 00:29:29

the noise for a few paragraphs?

Kyle Nelson: 00:29:31

What's the moment?

Kyle Nelson: 00:29:33

What's the myth of momentum for a few paragraphs.

Kyle Nelson: 00:29:36

Why, you know, what is the pause that feels like a panic, right?

Kyle Nelson: 00:29:39

Subtraction is a skill, so we make it so it's a really easy read.

Kyle Nelson: 00:29:42

And even if you're not a quick reader, even if it's not, you know, something

Kyle Nelson: 00:29:45

you like doing a chapter day is gonna be really easy to get started.

Kyle Nelson: 00:29:48

And it's really just a way to validate everything you're going through,

Kyle Nelson: 00:29:52

because the people that really need solo retreats the most, their life

Kyle Nelson: 00:29:55

is going a million miles per hour.

Kyle Nelson: 00:29:57

The last thing we wanna do is throw, throw them a book that's

Kyle Nelson: 00:30:00

difficult to read except long.

Kyle Nelson: 00:30:03

And then just like another thing on your list.

Kyle Nelson: 00:30:05

So we really tried to develop this book.

Kyle Nelson: 00:30:07

So it's an, it's an easy thing just to take on, uh, and start applying.

Kyle Nelson: 00:30:10

I mean, there's things in there like you could start applying like right

Kyle Nelson: 00:30:13

now after you read it, what is a five minute micro reset that you can do?

Kyle Nelson: 00:30:17

Mm-hmm.

Kyle Nelson: 00:30:18

So we wanna be very applicable right after the fact.

Kyle Nelson: 00:30:21

Uh, and if you need structure and you wanna take the step of a multi-day

Kyle Nelson: 00:30:25

solo retreat, we can help you with.

Kyle Nelson: 00:30:27

If you don't want our help, that's fine.

Kyle Nelson: 00:30:29

You can still through this book figure out.

Kyle Nelson: 00:30:31

How to actually take one.

Kyle Nelson: 00:30:32

So it was really important for us because, I mean, it was really important

Kyle Nelson: 00:30:36

for us to make it easy because we know people are just, they're, they're going

Kyle Nelson: 00:30:40

a million miles per hour and they don't have the time to read the next big book.

Kyle Nelson: 00:30:43

And so easy chunks get through it.

Kyle Nelson: 00:30:47

And it's, uh, from our point of view, writing it as well.

Kyle Nelson: 00:30:51

So, uh, we talk, like Eli was saying, we talk about our stories, we talk about

Kyle Nelson: 00:30:54

a lot of people that have gone on our program and their story and what happened,

Kyle Nelson: 00:30:58

um, and the different results they got from it, um, and what they were looking.

Kyle Nelson: 00:31:02

there, there's something for everyone to relate to because we

Kyle Nelson: 00:31:05

try to touch on different, um, people's experiences as well.

Eli Libby: 00:31:09

I would say, Mike, the only thing to add to that

Eli Libby: 00:31:11

is when you're looking at buying this book, there's a reason that

Eli Libby: 00:31:14

you're gonna try and buy this book.

Eli Libby: 00:31:15

There's a reason that you were attracted to the book.

Eli Libby: 00:31:19

This, you know, maybe you've tried coaching therapy, other retreats.

Eli Libby: 00:31:24

I think it comes down to the point, maybe a breaking point where like,

Eli Libby: 00:31:27

okay, I, I really need something and I need a low entry to see if

Eli Libby: 00:31:31

this is actually going to work.

Eli Libby: 00:31:33

So I always come back to like the self-discipline and the commitment aspect.

Eli Libby: 00:31:36

You bought this book for a reason, like let's just start there.

Eli Libby: 00:31:40

It's not long.

Eli Libby: 00:31:41

Open it and read it, set some time, like every evening, try and get a chapter done.

Eli Libby: 00:31:45

You're gonna be done and by the end of the week.

Eli Libby: 00:31:47

So I think it comes down to why did you buy the book in the first place?

Eli Libby: 00:31:51

And it really, the front cover answers most of it's structured path.

Eli Libby: 00:31:54

The reclaiming clarity and purpose in a noisy world, it's a very

Eli Libby: 00:31:59

attractive subheading that everybody is, is, is dealing with right now.

Eli Libby: 00:32:03

Especially in these high achievers and men particularly.

Eli Libby: 00:32:07

Yeah.

Mike Forrester: 00:32:08

Yeah.

Mike Forrester: 00:32:08

If you look at statistics, it's like there is a definite

Mike Forrester: 00:32:12

need for something different.

Mike Forrester: 00:32:13

Mm-hmm.

Mike Forrester: 00:32:14

Because there's burnout, there's anxiety, there's depression.

Mike Forrester: 00:32:18

I mean, there is a slew of, you know, mental and emotional Pain.

Mike Forrester: 00:32:25

Yep.

Mike Forrester: 00:32:25

Yeah, I guess is the best way to put it.

Mike Forrester: 00:32:27

You know, there's the shortcomings and the pain and it's like, I want to

Mike Forrester: 00:32:31

be more, I want this to be different.

Mike Forrester: 00:32:33

How do I get there?

Mike Forrester: 00:32:35

And.

Mike Forrester: 00:32:36

A lot of us, there's the shame in asking how, how do I get there?

Mike Forrester: 00:32:41

What's different?

Mike Forrester: 00:32:42

Who am I?

Mike Forrester: 00:32:43

You know?

Mike Forrester: 00:32:44

It's like Exactly.

Mike Forrester: 00:32:45

I just be quiet and And keep to myself.

: 00:32:49

Yeah, yeah.

Mike Forrester: 00:32:50

Because it's like, it's already vulnerable enough.

Mike Forrester: 00:32:53

You know?

Mike Forrester: 00:32:54

You go to the gym, you look, you've got shortcomings, you go to work, you

Mike Forrester: 00:32:58

know, you see everybody's success, perceived success, and you feel short.

Mike Forrester: 00:33:02

You see.

Mike Forrester: 00:33:03

You know, men on TV or hear about their stories and I'm falling short again.

Mike Forrester: 00:33:09

Yeah.

Mike Forrester: 00:33:09

And just being able to be confident in your purpose and who you are.

Mike Forrester: 00:33:15

Mm-hmm.

Mike Forrester: 00:33:16

Which is, you know, what you guys are offering, but it, it takes that risk Sure.

Mike Forrester: 00:33:20

Of are you willing to bet on yourself and, uh, the dividends and betting

Mike Forrester: 00:33:25

on ourselves are at such a level.

Mike Forrester: 00:33:28

Yeah.

Mike Forrester: 00:33:28

That I think it's.

Mike Forrester: 00:33:30

It's hard to comprehend that we could receive that much out of something we do.

Mike Forrester: 00:33:37

Um, you know, or that taking the time is gonna benefit us that

Mike Forrester: 00:33:41

much when I've gotta execute.

: 00:33:43

Mm-hmm.

: 00:33:43

If

Mike Forrester: 00:33:43

my value comes from do not in be and it's like,

Mike Forrester: 00:33:46

man, to have the clarity in the roadmap, that's the true gold.

Kyle Nelson: 00:33:50

Yeah.

Mike Forrester: 00:33:50

It's true.

Mike Forrester: 00:33:51

So true,

Kyle Nelson: 00:33:52

man.

Kyle Nelson: 00:33:52

That's a great way to put it.

Kyle Nelson: 00:33:53

We're living in a world of like analysis paralysis where there's too many

Kyle Nelson: 00:33:57

options to figure out how to fix me.

Kyle Nelson: 00:34:00

It's like, what if the option was just nothing?

Kyle Nelson: 00:34:02

Like taking a step back with yourself?

Kyle Nelson: 00:34:05

What if that was the option?

Kyle Nelson: 00:34:06

Not another, you know, once a week call, another once a week therapy session, not

Kyle Nelson: 00:34:11

another this, this and that and the other.

Kyle Nelson: 00:34:13

What if it was just literally nothing and taking a step back

Kyle Nelson: 00:34:16

and hearing yourself again?

Kyle Nelson: 00:34:17

And that's like our message is you don't need more to move forward.

Kyle Nelson: 00:34:21

You actually need less.

Kyle Nelson: 00:34:23

You'll find in that, that less, you're actually gonna start finding and hearing

Kyle Nelson: 00:34:27

answers and a path forward through the noise and through the, through the fog.

Kyle Nelson: 00:34:31

So that's what this book offers is, maybe the option is just nothing,

Kyle Nelson: 00:34:36

and it is just taking a step back.

Kyle Nelson: 00:34:37

Hmm.

Mike Forrester: 00:34:38

So we take the step back, we buy the book, work

Mike Forrester: 00:34:42

through it, get some clarity.

Mike Forrester: 00:34:46

You know, I think we've all been one of those and, you know, know others that

Mike Forrester: 00:34:51

it's like New Year's resolutions, man.

Mike Forrester: 00:34:53

They come in.

Mike Forrester: 00:34:54

Yeah, we're hot.

Mike Forrester: 00:34:56

Yeah, right, man, we start, hot things are going and it slowly gets chipped away.

Mike Forrester: 00:35:03

Right?

Mike Forrester: 00:35:04

It fades into the sunset.

Mike Forrester: 00:35:06

What's the next step?

Mike Forrester: 00:35:08

Like long term?

Mike Forrester: 00:35:09

What do we do?

Mike Forrester: 00:35:11

To continue, like improving our, you know, our clarity, our drive, our purpose,

Mike Forrester: 00:35:20

like expanding that or refining it.

Mike Forrester: 00:35:23

Like what do we, we do that we've gotten out of the book?

Mike Forrester: 00:35:27

Is it continuing to reread the book or go on a retreat or is, you know,

Mike Forrester: 00:35:33

like what's the next step long term?

Eli Libby: 00:35:35

Sure.

Eli Libby: 00:35:36

I would say Mike two.

Eli Libby: 00:35:38

Two parts.

Eli Libby: 00:35:39

We've got a couple different solo retreat options that people can go on.

Eli Libby: 00:35:43

We curate the experience if they want that, we book them an amazing spot.

Eli Libby: 00:35:46

They can go do the reflective work that they learned about and just take it

Eli Libby: 00:35:50

double click into that a little further.

Eli Libby: 00:35:52

The other side that I would say is, you know, whether you go with a

Eli Libby: 00:35:55

retreat by the book or not is find somebody to hold you accountable.

Kyle Nelson: 00:35:58

Yeah.

Eli Libby: 00:35:59

Like that's, that's it right there.

Eli Libby: 00:36:00

You, these news resolutions, they blow out because you're

Eli Libby: 00:36:03

accountable yourself for two weeks.

Eli Libby: 00:36:05

Apple did an amazing commercial on it this year with, uh, the, the new Apple Watch.

Eli Libby: 00:36:09

They said whatever they call the second Friday, it's the second Friday

Eli Libby: 00:36:13

of January, all your goals are gone 'cause you have no accountability.

Eli Libby: 00:36:16

And they were selling the watch pretty good.

Eli Libby: 00:36:17

Um, it's the same thing here is just find somebody to latch onto that.

Eli Libby: 00:36:21

And that's where I think we step in really well is we are

Eli Libby: 00:36:25

basically accountability coaches.

Eli Libby: 00:36:26

We're your buddy that can go out there and check in with you once

Eli Libby: 00:36:29

a month and say, Hey Mike, did you do that 5K or did you book the 5K?

Eli Libby: 00:36:32

Have you been training every week for it?

Eli Libby: 00:36:34

What is it that we can hold you accountable to?

Eli Libby: 00:36:36

And typically we get that laundry list of things that they wanna do after a solo

Eli Libby: 00:36:42

retreat, and that's where we jump in.

Eli Libby: 00:36:44

And for six to 12 months we are.

Eli Libby: 00:36:46

On their calendar for one hour every month.

Eli Libby: 00:36:49

Mm-hmm.

Eli Libby: 00:36:49

And we're checking in on the goals that they said that they

Eli Libby: 00:36:51

were gonna be accountable to.

Eli Libby: 00:36:53

And that's what we're passionate about is prevent the backsliding.

Mike Forrester: 00:36:57

And I wanna kind of ask you, because

Mike Forrester: 00:37:00

accountability has been weaponized.

Mike Forrester: 00:37:02

Mm-hmm.

Mike Forrester: 00:37:02

I think we've all heard stories, maybe had experiences on it.

Mike Forrester: 00:37:06

What's the different difference in the accountability that you guys offer

Mike Forrester: 00:37:10

in a retreat because it's like we've all been at the point where it's like

Mike Forrester: 00:37:15

that becomes accountability becomes almost that, that proverbial thumb

Mike Forrester: 00:37:20

that we're being kept under, right?

Mike Forrester: 00:37:22

Mm-hmm.

Mike Forrester: 00:37:22

We open up, we're vulnerable, we tell somebody, and then that comes

Mike Forrester: 00:37:25

back and it's a power trip on us.

Mike Forrester: 00:37:27

Mm-hmm.

Mike Forrester: 00:37:28

What, what is the accountability that you guys are offering look like?

Kyle Nelson: 00:37:31

Mm-hmm.

Kyle Nelson: 00:37:34

So in our solo retreats, the one thing you're really diving into and

Kyle Nelson: 00:37:37

finding out is really your limited beliefs and your emotional baggage

Kyle Nelson: 00:37:40

that's stopping you to move forward.

Kyle Nelson: 00:37:43

But that's all happening through intrinsic work you are doing

Kyle Nelson: 00:37:46

by yourself, on your own.

Kyle Nelson: 00:37:48

That's a very, very powerful mo uh, moment that you find in yourself.

Kyle Nelson: 00:37:52

And it feels very real because you are, you could be in the middle of a city.

Kyle Nelson: 00:37:56

At an Airbnb or in the middle of a cabin in the middle of the forest with

Kyle Nelson: 00:37:59

no one around, but that exact moment, you're alone with your own thoughts and

Kyle Nelson: 00:38:03

you figure it out is very, very real.

Kyle Nelson: 00:38:06

And typically when we start getting that laundry list of things,

Eli Libby: 00:38:09

mm-hmm.

Kyle Nelson: 00:38:10

The fire is so hot and ready to go.

Kyle Nelson: 00:38:13

They know the path forward, but they don't know really which way to take it.

Kyle Nelson: 00:38:17

And they need those check-ins of accountability because how intrinsic

Kyle Nelson: 00:38:21

that motivation has become.

Kyle Nelson: 00:38:23

And so our accountability also what's really cool is we offer, uh, masterminds.

Kyle Nelson: 00:38:27

So we do one-on-one coaching and then we also do masterminds of the tribe.

Kyle Nelson: 00:38:30

And these are people that have all gone through our program.

Kyle Nelson: 00:38:33

Know the vocab that can support each other.

Kyle Nelson: 00:38:35

And as you start bouncing off ideas and like, oh, I actually have gone through

Kyle Nelson: 00:38:39

that, you have that support system wrapped around you to move forward.

Kyle Nelson: 00:38:42

So we really try to not drain you in the support, but know that

Kyle Nelson: 00:38:46

there's a like a a, a beat of it.

Kyle Nelson: 00:38:49

In a rhythm to it.

Kyle Nelson: 00:38:50

Yeah.

Kyle Nelson: 00:38:50

Because that's the most important thing.

Kyle Nelson: 00:38:52

We can help you figure out what the reset is that you need to go on.

Kyle Nelson: 00:38:55

We could help you.

Kyle Nelson: 00:38:56

Figure out, micro resets a big reset, but what's the rhythm afterwards that you

Kyle Nelson: 00:39:00

need to take in order to make sure that those, those principles and the discipline

Kyle Nelson: 00:39:04

you're trying to do is actually happening?

Mike Forrester: 00:39:07

Yeah.

Mike Forrester: 00:39:08

You guys have got.

Mike Forrester: 00:39:09

Encouraging and uplifting.

: 00:39:11

Yeah.

Mike Forrester: 00:39:12

Focus and practice in your accountability.

Mike Forrester: 00:39:15

Not, I think, you know, going back to what some of us have heard of or experienced

Mike Forrester: 00:39:20

of, you know, being berated and demeaned, this is actually for our benefit in

Mike Forrester: 00:39:25

a beneficial and healthy, caring way.

Mike Forrester: 00:39:27

So, yeah, I, I just want to clarify 'cause I know accountability can be

Mike Forrester: 00:39:32

one of those words that's like, sure.

Mike Forrester: 00:39:34

Sends sends many off and it's like, right, sure, you guys are saying it and

Mike Forrester: 00:39:39

offering it, but it's not in maybe the same way many of us have experienced it.

Mike Forrester: 00:39:44

Mm-hmm.

Eli Libby: 00:39:45

It's a good point.

Eli Libby: 00:39:45

And I think camaraderie, I mean, accountability can be

Eli Libby: 00:39:49

interchanged for men as camaraderie.

Eli Libby: 00:39:51

If you position it correctly, I think comradery for men is like this.

Eli Libby: 00:39:54

Like, let's all do this together.

Eli Libby: 00:39:56

Let's bring each other up and support each other versus feeling

Eli Libby: 00:39:59

like you're being micromanaged.

Eli Libby: 00:40:01

I think comradery is another just synonym for accountability for men particularly.

Mike Forrester: 00:40:06

Perfect.

Mike Forrester: 00:40:06

I love the way of doing that.

Mike Forrester: 00:40:07

'cause yeah, that's, that's exactly.

Mike Forrester: 00:40:10

Well man, thank you guys for.

Mike Forrester: 00:40:13

Both writing the book and coming and sharing about the book because

Mike Forrester: 00:40:17

again, it is another vehicle to help us elevate, get to where we want and,

Mike Forrester: 00:40:22

and know ourselves better, right?

Mike Forrester: 00:40:25

To give ourselves permission to be who we want to be and have the clarity

Mike Forrester: 00:40:29

there and the, and you know, just know without a doubt where we're going.

Mike Forrester: 00:40:34

how can men get ahold of the book and, uh, sure.

Mike Forrester: 00:40:38

You know, take that next step.

Kyle Nelson: 00:40:40

Just go to the website, to the, the webpage soloretreat.co/book,

Kyle Nelson: 00:40:44

and that's gonna give you the options on where to purchase the book.

Kyle Nelson: 00:40:47

Um, we have, let's see, the audible audio book, the hardcover, the soft cover,

Kyle Nelson: 00:40:52

and the, um, Kindle, Kindle version.

Kyle Nelson: 00:40:55

I was ebook, a Kindle version of ebook.

Kyle Nelson: 00:40:57

So however you wanna read it, listen to it, we've got it for you, and

Kyle Nelson: 00:41:00

it's all there on that webpage.

Mike Forrester: 00:41:03

You guys know you're speaking my language.

Mike Forrester: 00:41:04

And when you say audible, 'cause I'm like, yeah, for sure I can.

Mike Forrester: 00:41:07

I can go and it removes the time excuse.

Mike Forrester: 00:41:09

I can totally.

Mike Forrester: 00:41:11

Do it and listen to it, uh, gain the benefits, you know, while I'm still

Mike Forrester: 00:41:15

doing other things, but then with the exercises, be able to dive into it.

Mike Forrester: 00:41:20

Absolutely.

Mike Forrester: 00:41:20

So I appreciate you guys for making that For sure.

Mike Forrester: 00:41:23

I'm gonna, I'm gonna see it as just done for me.

Mike Forrester: 00:41:26

Yep.

Kyle Nelson: 00:41:26

It's a very, you know, as you know, the book is

Kyle Nelson: 00:41:28

very personal for us and, uh.

Kyle Nelson: 00:41:29

We did the audio.

Kyle Nelson: 00:41:31

We, we did it all together.

Kyle Nelson: 00:41:32

So, um, you get to hear, to listen.

Kyle Nelson: 00:41:34

Hopefully you like my voice better than his during it.

Kyle Nelson: 00:41:37

'cause I got a few more words on him on the audio.

Kyle Nelson: 00:41:39

We should record.

Kyle Nelson: 00:41:40

We

Eli Libby: 00:41:40

shoulda had Mike record this audio book actually would've been,

Mike Forrester: 00:41:44

I mean, you know, I'm still here.

Mike Forrester: 00:41:46

Uh, I'm available.

Eli Libby: 00:41:47

I know.

Eli Libby: 00:41:48

We might just scrap it all and just have you read this Eli's breaking

Mike Forrester: 00:41:51

point.

Mike Forrester: 00:41:53

Hey.

Mike Forrester: 00:41:55

No, man.

Mike Forrester: 00:41:56

I appreciate it guys.

Mike Forrester: 00:41:57

Thank you so very much.

Mike Forrester: 00:41:58

Congratulations on the launch of your book and uh, yeah, thank you.

Mike Forrester: 00:42:03

Thanks man.

Mike Forrester: 00:42:04

Thanks for having us, Mike.

Mike Forrester: 00:42:04

Really appreciate you're the man.

Mike Forrester: 00:42:06

Thanks, Mike.

Mike Forrester: 00:42:06

I appreciate.